“Where PUAs go to die”

Tom Torero has an interesting essay, “Where PUAs go to die,” which has some notes you’ll recognize from “I was also wondering if I really wanted to stay in the Game.” Beginner guys should not read either, but intermediate and advanced guys age 30+ might find them profitable.

Torero point #3, “Boredom,” is tied to and precedes Torero point #1, “They get married / under-the-thumb and denounce the player life.” Except I don’t think guys who quit being players have to denounce being a player (although maybe they do; we all have a narrative and our narrative memes we like to propagate almost as much as our genetic legacy).

I’m not sure I have enough experience or lifestyle to be a “player,” though some women have told me I am. But I have been feeling bored with the pickup-seduction-bed-repeat process. The end result, sex, is still worthwhile, but the process is less exciting and I’m less willing to put up with female bullshit in pursuit of sex than I used to be.

Tom has had at least some similar feeling, because in his book Daygame he says near the end, “Despite all of this sounding like a rock star’s life, the novelty of having lots of sex with hot girls had really worn off.” For me the novelty has worn off a little bit, but I still like the sex just not the process. Somewhere in the book I’m pretty sure Tom says that he likes the seduction challenge as much as or even more than the sex, while I feel the opposite way…  or I am lazier, which is a hypothesis that should never be discarded.

Boredom is often a sign that we need to find new challenges and develop new skills. When I first started dating and sleeping with women as a teenager I was never bored and I was a total hound for sex. Now I’m too often bored and I almost “know” too much about sex. The prettiest women often have underdeveloped personalities, too. Not all of them, certainly, but a lot.

Guys who experience enough boredom probably look to kids and the next generation as their next challenge. Maybe I will never have the life mate that blue pill society tells us to find. That’s okay with me as I’m not seeking one, but I also can’t foresee myself forever chasing fresh tail.

Almost all the guys in game have a narrative about doing poorly with women in high school and their 20s. I had the opposite experience (with many errors that I now recognize of course, neediness and too little escalating being more prominent) and I theorize that after 50 – 100 different girls the hunger for pure novelty is lessened or more satisfied. One begins to seek other qualities or challenges.

For now, tail is good. I brought Bike Girl to that sex party, and it was successful, I thought, and she kissed some women (something she claimed to have only done once before, “claimed” being the key word). I will write more about that later. I also am meaning to finish my writing about Tom’s book Daygame, which is highly recommended. Work, sex, and real life have been occupying me.

I also have a post about sex clubs, non-monogamy, and game. That route may be a way of “weaseling” out of cold approach. Or as I think of it, efficiency. Regardless of what it’s called, I’m still surprised more game guys don’t try it.

I will never denounce players! The game goes on forever, even when I exit this earth and find it left to the guys after me.

Maybe lies make the social world go round.

“I was also wondering if I really wanted to stay in the Game”

I am reading the Krauser book A Deplorable Cad, and about midway he drops,

As winter approached I’d run out of steam for game. London was boring me, and my mojo was depleted. I was also wondering if I really wanted to stay in the Game. The happiest times in the year had been hanging out with Docile and then going on holiday to Barcelona with her and Gita. I’d also felt strangely at peace when sitting in cafes with Zaria just chatting and watching her read.

This book is the second or third out of four, and it’s only halfway done, so the reader knows that Krauser does not run out of steam for game. But I identify with his feeling because it’s another way of stating my feelings in “Ramblings about a change in perspective towards game and life.” Granted that I’m older than he was at the time described in the book and also that I have never been remotely as obsessed with game as he and his colleagues were or are. But there can be a kind of hollow void, I think, from relentlessly picking up strangers, many of whom are in turn using your tool to deal with some kind of void or psychological problem in their own lives.

“Many of whom,” not all of whom, mind. Lots of psychologically healthy girls like casual and not-so-casual sex as well.

I’m still committed to not marrying, but I wonder if one day I will soften to the idea of cohabitating with a woman again. It would be very hard to find a woman whose values and lifestyles mesh sufficiently with mine, but I don’t think it’d be impossible either.

She’d also have to be close enough to me in age. Realistically a man as old as I am cannot build a long-term life with any woman younger than her late 20s. It just won’t work if she’s younger. That much I know. It is always funny when you worry about using a girl for sex only to discover she is. . . using you for sex!

I should not be thinking too long-term right now. The date with the bike girl went very simply and very well. Before the date I did (or attempted) four warmup sets and got harsh blowouts from all of them. A very strange run, but then bike girl herself liked me a lot from the get go. She is more shy and introspective than she first seemed, when I think the riding had raised her spirits and also mine. But so far everything seems to be going well. She is also too young to make long long-term work. But I am enjoying the moment and am not going to complain when the right girl at the right time falls into the lap.

I will write more about A Deplorable Cad when I finish, but I judge that I am either less psychologically damaged than most of the game-obsessives or I am more delusional about psychological damage. Only the self-deluded believe they are beyond self-delusion. I still think I’m closer to normal than many of the characters in the book or who write game books of their own.

What happens to guys regarding kids? It is still fascinating to see the people who have gone all the way. They make different tradeoffs than me.

Krauser emphasizes how real game forces a man to confront his own psychological demons, and I agree totally. Self-understanding is so hard and lacking it will often destroy even a man who works hard.