When girls shift from pure party mode to preferring guys with resources

This is an excerpt from a longer post about the Red Pill and kids, but I observe that a lot of chicks shift from being all about the party and the hottttttest guys to having a more balanced perspective on raw animal attraction versus resources when the chick herself shifts to being financially self-sufficient, paying her own rent and taxes, etc.

Many younger chicks are being subsidized by the state or their parents, so money is just one of these things that someone else is taking care of (usually their dads or some unrelated male being forced at gunpoint to cough up tax dollars for her benefit). Chicks who have funny-money student loans paying their way, or who have parents supporting them one way or another, are just way more into partying, hotttt guys, etc., than chicks who don’t have that safety net. Chicks who really, deeply know how hard it is to pay your own rent, keep yourself afloat, etc. have a different perspective than those who don’t. Especially chicks are have to pay back those student loans that paid for the party.

Some chicks reach the self-sufficient stage at 18 (too early IMO), a few never hit it (trust funds, etc., or just stupid temperament), most hit it from age 21 – 24… when they learn what it’s like to work full time, to be responsible for your own rent, etc. Being self-sufficient can lead a chick’s views on men to  shift. Suddenly, a guy who can pay the rent becomes more attractive than a hottt party guy. A guy who can pay the rent AND who “just gets it”… very valuable and rare. Pure party guys become somewhat less appealing. A guy who is trying to use his material resources and wealth to woo and impress women should know that her age likely affects whether she’ll be somewhat receptive/responsive to that courtship display. A chick for whom money is already being taken care of, likely won’t care. A chick who is very much into having a family will like financial responsibility displays more.

I observe that a lot of chicks want to imagine a path towards a real relationship with the guy they’re f**king casually, and a guy who has some financial stability/job stability is going to make that fantasy easier for her. A guy with no financial resources but who is attractive in some other way (musician, physically hot, student athlete, etc.) will make that a bit harder for her. And this is true on average, not all the time… some young chicks get online to look for providers, and some older women don’t give a f**k and want hott guys. Some older women also get out of a long, intense, sexually boring relationship and want to f**k around for a while. In the current environment guys should shade towards being hot, dangerous, exciting, etc., rather than towards being a material provider, because most women have “enough” money, even if they’d like more. Most women don’t have enough excitement and leadership in their lives, however. I come off as a boring corporate drone in some ways but in others I have cultivated some mystery, surprise, etc., and that serves me well.

The switch many chicks undergo when the subsidies dry up is sort of like how a lot of people in school or enmeshed in academia are “socialists” because they are paying no taxes and are being subsidized by taxpayers, so having someone else pay more into the system seems intensely desirable. When you start paying real money into the system, lower taxes become intensely desirable. The view shifts based on the life circumstances. Most people are terrible at abstract reasoning, so they feel how their current situation is, then devise political or social views based on that situation. When their situation changes, their views change. This is also why so much social/political commentary is uninteresting… it springs from a person’s immediate experience far more than a person’s research and deep understanding.

Lots of young chicks are into sexual freedom but some older women retract their interest in sexual freedom, particularly among the young, because older women cannot compete effectively with young hot chicks. So older women try to shame guys into not f**king young hot chicks, and try to shame young hot chicks into restricting their sexuality. I don’t think this works very well but that doesn’t stop older women from trying it. I am also now old enough to have seen young party girls f**king vigorously and regularly into conservative matrons who caution their own daughters about being too free with their favors.

Some number of chicks are also just dysfunctional, moving from eviction to eviction, unable to get along with roommates, precariously housed, never really financially stability, etc. Most normal chicks (and normal people in general) learn that eviction sucks, that it’s important to have enough money to pay the rent, that you will be screwed if you screw over other people, etc. Some chicks, however, never learn this, and in my view they are best avoided. Such chicks also usually have abysmal diet and exercise habits, so they are not hot for very long. They are out there and I have run into some of them. I bring this up because there are exceptions to every principle of human behavior. There are also some relatively conservative chicks who find stability/wealth sexy from a very early age, and who mostly opt out of the hottttt guy mating game.

I have seen many older guys erroneously attempt to impress young hot subsidized chicks with income/jobs/etc. It doesn’t work because those subsidized chicks don’t give a f**k, any more than I give a f**k about status among primitive tribesmen. Everyone knows guys who are doing financially well and do poorly with women, and everyone knows guy who are poor and do well with women. That’s one point in “Radicalizing the Romanceless.” That’s also why the media obsession with “income inequality” is so poorly received by most people; most guys care much less about income per se than about how income affects their abilities with women. Women care much less about income per se and much more about competing with other women for status and about what income says about a man.

The thing about girls preferring provider guys more after the subsidies end is, I think, my own observation. If someone else said it first, then I forgot who. It’s just me trying to understand the patterns I’ve observed. If you as a guy are seeking the youngest and hottest chicks, edge towards being a hott party guy. If you as a guy are seeking to have kids, edge a little bit more towards career/stability. I’m also unusual in that I believe there are only two kinds of relationships with women: a relationship that leads to children and all other kinds of relationships. That belief is part of what led me to group sex, a practice that I’m surprised more players don’t adopt, as it can leverage one chick into multiple hot chicks.

Profiling girls by age is not that useful

I’ve read a lot of posts and questions about profiling girls by age. I don’t think it’s very useful to profile girls by age, because girls vary too much by type. I read a lot of, “Women over 30 are no longer looking for just sex like younger women.” But I’m considerably over age 30 and this isn’t true at all: Women over age 30 who have partied a lot and are tired of partying, are looking for a provider guy to have kids with. They probably won’t be interested in casual sex offers.

But women over age 30 who have gotten out of a marriage or LTR… watch out. They are ready to fuck.

I think it varies some by life course so far. A lot of people (more than The Red Pill would have you believe) get sucked into long-term, monogamous or mostly monogamous relationships through a lot of their 20s. Many of those relationships dissolve in the late 20s or early 30s. For those people… men and women… the dissolution often leads to a casual sex explosion.

Meantime, a lot of people party through their 20s… have lots of casual sex… and in their 30s they’re tired of that ride. So they shift gears and want to have a family. This applies to both guys and chicks, too. There’s a reason a lot of 25-year-old guys get in the game, and a lot of 35 – 40-year-old guys have experienced enough to want to have a family, rather than chase around vapid flakey chicks for sex.

There’s also a meme going around that young chicks, 18 – 24, they’re just looking for tons of casual sex. There are chicks like this. There are also a lot of chicks who are more conservative and inexperienced than guys on the Internet would have you believe. Who find the prospect of sex kind of scary. Who find men in general scary (if also intriguing). Some young chicks can be conservative and gradually lose their sexually conservative temperament through experience. I have met and sometimes talked to these girls.

I have also been called every imaginable name by young chicks (“gross,” “disgusting,” “you’re old enough to be my dad,” etc.). Those young chicks… are not for me. I’ve also been told I’m everything amazing by young chicks (“no one has ever done that to me.” “I can’t move my leg.” “You’re making me fall in love with you”). The difference is in the chick, more than in me.

I don’t think profiling chicks by age is that useful… it’s more useful to look at life course. Chicks who are being subsidized by their parents or the state (student loans) are usually in “party mode” and don’t care much about a man’s resources, because they don’t have to. Chicks outside of that zone are more likely to care.

Despite this generalization, there is a lot of noise in the data. It’s definitely true that a lot of 28 – 40 year old chicks are looking for a provider guy. It’s also true that a lot of chicks in that age bracket are exiting long-term relationships and want to f**k some guys to get it out of their systems, or just for the pleasure of it. It’s also true that some chicks love sexual variety throughout their life spans. Some chicks are prudes throughout their life spans.

I can’t tell you how many divorced women I’ve met at sex clubs. Some are even attractive.

For a guy, focus less on age and more on who a girl really is. Focus on improving your own value. Focus on accepting that most chicks will say no most of the time. Don’t be too worried about generalizing about chicks based on age.

Environment will matter too. If a chick is living in the Midwest, and all her friends are getting married and having kids, she will want to do the same. If you put the same chick in NYC, and all her friends are having casual sex, she will want to do the same. If she is in front of her whole family, she will be reticent. If she is on vacation, she might be down for casual sex. Much more than men, chicks are products of their environment. This is part of the reason players learn to be non-judgmental. Chicks learn to be shamed for their sexuality throughout their entire lives. When chicks find a guy who doesn’t do that to them, they often get very very excited.

“Don’t fall for a girl half your age.”

I’m having a Twitter chat with @tddaygame:

Don’t fall for a girl half your age.

Realize it’s only about sex and act accordingly.

Good advice. I see these “Red Pill” guys saying, “Who would EVER pick the older chick over the younger one?” But it depends on what the guy is looking for. If the age gap is too wide, a deeper or longer relationship won’t work. If I’m looking for a longer-term relationship, and I might be (I can’t fully tell… and uncommon position to find myself in), the youngest I can consider is probably 27 or 28. A 24-year-old girl is just not developed enough for me. Her likely trajectory is another two to four year relationship, breakup, then she finds a longer-term prospect. She is great for sex and I can nudge her development as a person, but as a long-term partner? No.

tddaygame said,

People on-line tend to exaggerate. When they hear “older chick” they think 50+. But as @GeorgeBruno shows, the answer also depends on how old and how experienced you are.

I think most 40+ guys couldn’t stand a 18 yo girl for longer than it takes them to cum.

I definitely can stand (and am right now, in fact) an 18-year-old girl, but a) Ms. Slav is very unusual and b) I’m not under any illusions about this being a long-term thing. I enjoy her company. She is more mature than a lot of mid-20s girls I’ve met. Even though she is different in many ways, I am not delusional enough to think we will be together over the long term. We won’t be. She also too into the non-monogamy and group thing for me to consider her for a longer or deeper relationship. She has gone “all in” as I have not truly seen before. By default, the chicks I’ve brought into the scene have clung to me, for the most part, and needed my encouragement to go forth. Ms. Slav is likely to become one of the central players in the scene over time. I have a longer piece on this I should write but haven’t yet.

I’m also pretty directive, especially with younger chicks, so I’m very able to say, “We’re going to do this… follow or don’t.” Most young chicks won’t follow. That’s okay with me. Some will. I’m also peculiar in that I have a small number of very deep interests and no interest in most things. I don’t want to go to pop concerts. I don’t want to do some other things that most 18 – 24-year-old girls love. There are some things I love doing and if I can get the chick to go with me, then great, and if not, then we can just do sex.

Bike Girl was good at being malleable to the things I want to do. But she is also not 18.