We haven’t had a Nash bomb lately, so “Types, truth, bad vibes, and the red pill attachment style” is very welcome, though it will disappoint guys hungry for field reports.
i like how you call most ‘red pill’ assertions as essentially either defensive or reactive to the woman’s imperative….this is absolutely correct in my opinion, and a huge drag on guys’ progress in learning to get better with women…..
I think the situation is a little different, and the quality of much “Red Pill” advice and discourse depends where the guy starts from. For a lot of guys who have been completely unsuccessful their whole lives, it is necessary to protect and enhance what little value they have. They need to learn to build value because, without some underlying value, they’ll see the “bad” side of women. Kind of like how fat chicks are much more likely to see the “bad” side of men… because the fat chick is sexually invisible, or visible only to the lowest guys, she finds the “men bad” argument very palatable. Attractive women are almost never hardcore feminists. It also seems pretty rare to see attractive men who are hardcore Red Pill “harsh truthers,” to speak Nash’s language.
A place that is good to start may not be a good place to ultimately end up.
I never, ever try to create Anxiety in women. In no way does Anxiety turn women on.
Mr Anxiety is not only a Type, but he is also very confused on this topic. So much so, I am certain that Desire is not his specialty.
Even if Nash doesn’t try to create anxiety, I can almost guarantee he sometimes does. Maybe often does. When you withdraw attention. When she realizes she’s losing you. When she realizes that you’re higher value than she thought and she’s been a bit of a bitch. When she’s debating whether to see you that night or see someone else (not necessarily male) that night. Etc. At some point… she’s got to be a bit anxious about whether she’s hooked you, as much as you’re worried about whether you’ve hooked her. Typically the guy is worried at first, but the chick worries later on… if she’s never got some anxiety, that’s not great. Chicks are very attracted to ambiguous relationships, and ambiguity implies some anxiety about what the relationship is.
There is such a thing as too much anxiety and such a thing as too much security. Most guys generate too much security and are boring: boring = death. Guys who are boring, or who women find boring, are the source of much of the “anxiety” advice.
Within the context of a longer-term relationship, security is good… and there are different types of security and anxiety, and Nash talks of some of those types. Many surface-level arguments are resolved by looking more deeply into the terms and concepts being used, and where they emerge from.
Notice how the hardcore Redpill guys are constantly yammering about bipolar girls (BPD). I’m a Secure type, I don’t aim for “broken” girls, so I really know almost nothing about BPD girls. My “vibe” doesn’t attract them. They are never in life.
I have pretty limited experience with really badly behaved chicks… I think most badly behaved chicks show themselves pretty early, in smaller ways, before they get to the really terrible behaviors, and I think that I notice, sometimes subconsciously, the bad behavior… and don’t reward it. So I don’t think I get far with the really f**ked up chicks. Or I don’t go deep with them. So I don’t have the experiential background with horrible chicks that some guys seem to have. When I read their stories about horrible chicks, I often find myself thinking, “Bro, you should’ve cut her out of your life long, LONG before you hit that point.”
A girl who is too fucked up… I don’t want her around. This includes chicks who want to extract money from me (for example demanding dinners out), chicks who are excessively negative, chicks who are too into drugs… there are probably some other types I am missing too. Oh I know, chicks who have a history of violence or violent exes.
The last one is important… contrary to the blue pill media narrative some chicks like violent guys and cultivate those guys in their lives. Like I said previously, most female bad behavior doesn’t spring from nowhere… for chicks, the same is true of men. Smart chicks see precursor signs of bad male behavior and cut those guys from their lives, fast. Dumb chicks, fucked up chicks… they see the signs and ignore them or worse like them.
All of our lives are patterned (a topic for another upcoming post)… if a chick has a pattern of past “abuse” or what have you… she is part of that pattern and you as a guy need to rid yourself of her. You will be the “next abuser” in her narrative of injustice.
The same thing is true at work. If you have a worker, colleague, whoever, who has a long history of supposedly being exploited by bosses, companies, etc…. you know the problem is probably with him. Anyone can get in a bad job situation once or twice… three or more times and it’s the worker’s fault.
There are more commonalities between job patterns and dating patterns than most red pill guys realize. Something to think about in that.
Most people will show/tell you who they are… usually not directly, but you can get the point. Believe them and react accordingly. Protect yourself to the extent you can.
Has Nash, or you, read KING WARRIOR MAGICIAN LOVER: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine yet? I don’t see it in Nash’s blog search. It is a book about understanding the self, and a book about types.
One more point, not very connected to the above… I heard from a guy who asked about Nash and I disagreeing with each other in comments. It was a bit of a strange message because it seemed to assume that two people must agree about everything, or be enemies? Whatever it is, I think we are more aligned than not, and I find his thinking very interesting. But it’s also fine and normal for people to have some differences of view and talk them out… like normal people… unlike followers seeking gurus online. Or gurus seeking followers. I am not a guru. I have done some things right… some things wrong… most things in the middle… ideally I am trying to help other guys accelerate their own learning.
For an example of some disagreement, Nash uses way too many capital letters in his post… we don’t need so many proper nouns. But that is a deliberate decision on his part, I’m sure.
I’m also a little bit more sympathetic to mainstream “Red Pill” than he is, in his post… for the basic guy, getting off video games, improving his diet, hitting the gym, socializing more, developing new skills and hobbies… just not handicapping himself… is likely going to do a lot for his practice with chicks. Just not doing the bad things is “enough” for a lot of guys to see significant improvement. Maybe not enough for a guy to become a true player, but enough that he’s no longer stepping on his own dick. If a guy can implement some basics… that is a big jump over his starting space.
Oh yes, and most guys are not reading at all… so they do not have the tools to understand human relations… some guys are naturals and don’t need that, some guys are too dumb to comprehend what they read, but a lot of guys aren’t living up to what they should because they have not discovered the many guys who have ALREADY asked the questions we all are asking, and answered some of the questions. The tools are available… many guys aren’t using them.
So there is my Friday afternoon rambling, before the Internet-free weekend. Go outside, talk to people, read a book.