“The [male] feminist”

The [male] feminist” is solid reading about a guy who needs a dad or uncle or male cousin to take him aside and tell him to stop being a p***y. Much of what we perceive as social or gender dysfunction is actually, at its heart, family dysfunction and disintegration, and, because of families are smaller and more fractured than they used to be, we don’t know how to become adults, which usually also means “how to become a man” or “how to become a woman.” “The [male] feminist” is most notable for the absence in it, because there’s no mention of this guy’s father or uncle. Where are they? Does his uncle not exist? why not?

There used to be a guy who kept a blog named Goldmund, for example, who, whatever his flaws, talked a lot about his older male relatives and how they influenced his development. Unfortunately his blog has been effectively abandoned… but he’s one of the few guys I’ve seen talk seriously about family and family influence. A lot of “how to be a man” and “how to be a woman” are best conveyed by aunts, uncles, older cousins, those relationships. Default_friend tweeted the other day that she learns a lot from her mom and grandma (can’t find the tweet at the moment), which may help explain why she thinks modern feminism is re/tarded. Camille Paglia writes about the same in her books and essays, about the vital role extended family play in development.

Who or what replaces family? Schools, bureaucracies, ideologies. Except none of those replacements work, it’s like trying to live off McDonald’s and fast food: even if you’re technically alive, you’re barely living. In “The [male] feminist,” the guy absorbs an ideology pitched by power-hungry bureaucrats. The story is exaggerated for effect, I understand that, but normal guys, as they get older, they understand how to discard bullshit that doesn’t work. Even the pathetic snake guys who embrace “I am a feminist” as a way to get laid in high school or college, almost always quit at some point. You get old enough to see an ideology doesn’t work, you quit it. The most interesting part of many stories isn’t what’s in them, but what’s missing.

Chicks aren’t attracted to vulnerability, and the story’s narrator goes around with his belly exposed to every chick he runs into. Chicks like guys they can be vulnerable with, but not guys who are vulnerable. Or the guy is vulnerable is a minor way, like, “I am afraid of heights.” Or maybe, “My ex was super hot but also hurt me badly.” Your hot ex (social proof) hurt you, and now I, a lady, can heal you with my magic pussy? That’s minor vulnerability. Major vulnerability is something like outright incompetence. Competence is attractive to women, which is why effective men work so hard to develop it.

Lots of red pill guys get that masculinity is earned, not given, and that’s why so many primitive tribes have intense male initiation rituals. Femininity is given, not earned, just by going through puberty. That power must be learned to be wielded well, to be sure, but it’s there by showing up… something the male feminist in the story misses.

I don’t remember how the exact conversation went, but Short Dancer admitted that she slept with an incompetent guy her age (who I knew slightly) right before I started f**king her. The guy got her by virtue of proximity and luck, but he lacked masculinity identity and had no one, from what I can tell, to teach him about it. Then I got with Short Dancer, who was diplomatic, but also basically said that he lacked adequate aggression and masculinity. I thought the guy was okay, and if I’d been able to see a way to help him I would have, but, due to some other circumstances, there was no real way to do so. Maybe losing Short Dancer to an older, more masculine guy taught him something important. He seemed like a guy who might identify as a male feminist, although I never heard him actually do so.

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Sailor socialist girl doesn’t care, and it’s not about economic systems

The conversation in the last post turned towards what “socialist” and “feminist” identifying girls mean… and the answer is usually, “not much,” because most conversations are about expressing feelings and hierarchy… the number of “socialists” who even understand what that entails is minimal. When she says she’s a socialist, she’s expressing what she sees as a “caring” underlying value and framing you as “uncaring” by comparison. The number of people interested in ideas is small. A lot of male nerd engineers treat all conversations like engineering problems and consequently don’t get laid much because their engineering mindset, while important at school and work, repels feelings-based women.

When she says she’s a socialist… she doesn’t really care.

She’s not a policymaker.

Her vote doesn’t make a big difference in her life.

There’s a big gap between any functional country and Venezuela… it will take a really long time for any functional country to hit Venezuela or Soviet Union or Cuba levels… she wants to feel good, to feel taken care of, to make other people feel like they’ll be taken care of… Mark J says in the comments, “Debating Western girls like this, (usually white, middle class with a college education paid for by daddy who I guarantee you made his money in a very unsocialist fashion, is a waste of time.) The only appropriate response is to ignore her or ridicule her.” I disagree a bit… “ridicule” never changes minds and doesn’t get guys laid… “ignore her” makes more sense, particularly for a guy looking to get laid, not teach basic economics.

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The Coast of Utopia: A lot of women would rather focus on their children

The Coast of Utopia: From the looks of Instagram, Courtney Adamo and the surfing mamas of Byron Bay are living the dream” is like pornography for feminists (semi-forbidden but also deeply attractive), because the story appeals to the bulk of women who realize, after a couple years in the real world, that they’d rather spend time with their children than grind it out in the corporate world, competing against men in a male universe. Women buy into this narrative of corporate / financial achievement… then find that it is contrary to their nature and deeper desires… then are afraid to speak up about this because they get shamed by other women. Then porn-for-women stories like this appear and make the yearning all the more powerful.

A lot of women don’t seem to realize this until they’re approaching age 30… when it’s not too late to change, but it’s perceived as being much harder to change. When you wrap your identity in the corporate-grind thing, it can be difficult to unwrap that identity and wrap it up in something else, like the family a woman really wants in her soul and at the base of her being.

Women also realize this right at the point when younger women are crowding up from behind them… right at the point when guys their age and a little older who are family-oriented have already picked their preferred woman.

Instagram is the god-from-the-sky for the women in this particular story, as Instagram provides income, validation, attention, and it’s easy, all at once. Real world… it’s very rare to get them all together. A lot of women who lives rich fantasy lives think they can try to be rich on Instagram… one in ten thousand succeeds, maybe less. It’s right up there with trying to make it in Hollywood. Like the male equivalent of looking for a guy who is into hotwifing and who also has an attractive girlfriend who is into the guy… is it possible? Yeah. Should a guy really be concentrating on the game, not this bullshit? Also yeah. So this story has some bullshit in it, but it also reflects the very real female desire to have a real family while not having to grind out the two-income trap many women wander right into, by being told that they should grind through the corporate world. A small number of women do really like grinding the corporate world, do make real money at doing it, have a family and a nanny and a fabulous pedicure and whatever else it is chicks like… I have met women like this… they are just in the minority. The deep minority of women. Much more common is women who don’t realize till they’re at or over age 30 that they’ve bought into the bullshit, and it’s very hard to get back out of it. The deep satisfaction of family is infinitely greater than beating out Bob to become assistant regional manager and, one day, God willing, regional manager.

Some women also make the mistake of pretending that they want to focus on their families… but really they want to focus on having a super rich hot successful husband, and also outcompeting other women materially (cars, houses, etc.), and also being the most fabulous woman with the most fabulous job. Very very hard to do them all, and most women who try fail, then they write shit like so and so. Most of them have to decide their core values and stick to those (again, real world… there are a few exceptions out there). Many parameters cannot all be maximized simultaneously. The same is true of guys in the game. It is hard to simultaneously be super fit, get a good education, play in a great band or be a DJ, compete in MMA, have a job, etc. Most guys are going to have to pick one or two things and focus on those. For a guy looking for a long-term thing, it’s also unlikely to be able to maximize super hot, super loyal, super family oriented, super fun, good income, mentally stable, maintains blindness towards your side piece, etc. Most guys have to choose among those traits because they are not usually all found in one woman… and if they are, she is going to have lots and lots of choices herself.

The world runs on delusion… delusion can help improve your game… but if your game is not going well, and you can’t generate your own powerful delusion field (like Steve Jobs’ Reality Distortion Field), then you have to face reality instead. Sorry bro.

Back to the article, most of the women I know in the real world did marry eventually. The ones who didn’t… or who married, didn’t have kids, then divorced… they’re the ones who are worst off. For women, declining sexual market value (SMV) after age 35 is usually brutal without kids and a partner. There are exceptions who do all right with it, or who keep finding new guys… but the average outcome doesn’t look very good. And most people are just too lazy and undisciplined to quit sugar and hit the gym, and that shows in their bodies and their outcomes. Ice cream (a weakness of mine, admittedly) is here and now.

Man-hating feminist spinsters are much scarcer in real life than they are online, or in the conventional media, so a lot of angry guys online are responding to ideas that are bad, but that are also not very common in the real world, where most women like men and most men like women. Someone who really truly hates the opposite sex is sending their genes and culture on a one-way ride off a canyon. Within a hundred years I expect militant feminism to have solved itself. Too late for me.

Funny, but evil

I was on Facebook (a mistake) and read one of those horrible rants by a “male feminist” saying that we should “believe all women,” and I got an idea: every male feminist who writes that all women should be believed, etc. should have an anonymous denunciation of him posted online. Then it should be circulated, particularly at his workplace.

If this is done routinely, we’ll quickly get rid of all the male feminists who say things like, “If you’re not guilty, you have nothing to hide.”

Players know about the concept of the misguided “white knight.” This could be a form of “black knighting.”

You cannot fight the current level of feminist irrationality regarding anonymous denunciation with rational argument (although maybe there are a few green shoots). When virtually every guy who is a male feminist b***h has an anonymous accusation out there, against him, we might see the value of those denunciations fall.

I have seriously thought about doing this with one guy in particular. The fact that it is evil stops me. The fact that he is a b***h tempts me. I am not advocating that this be done. But as a thought experiment it is interesting, right?

“After a year of #MeToo, Americans are more sceptical about sexual harassment”

After a year of #MeToo, Americans are more sceptical about sexual harassment.” Good, and that is as it should be. Having been victim to false accusations and rumors myself, whenever I hear these kinds of accusations, they make me think less of the person making the accusation.

Maybe normal women understand women’s propensity to blame-shift in the sexual arena. Normal women fear that their husbands, brothers, and sons will be targeted. I get it. Women are very fond of doing things, then saying, “It wasn’t me.” MeToo is really about evading personal responsibility. Normal people also know that “Women love the sexual interplay they experience with men, and they relish men desiring their beauty.” Why don’t strident American feminists know this? Because they think pleading ignorance will improve their bargaining position.