Lots of swings and lots of misses (FR)

[This happened before coronavirus shut the world down, but I didn’t put up the story right away.] 

Went to a party without a date… but I went with friends who vouched for me and functioned as dates. They brought extra girls (who weren’t appealing to me, physically or intellectually/psychologically, but that happens). The girls took some drug that made them very friendly.

I knew a few girls at the party, including this one (again)… and she is now ROUGH. When I first started seeing her I’d have given her an 8… by the time I wrote about cutting her loose she was more like a low 8/high 7 and now she is like a 6… not fat, exactly, but weird rolls of stomach fat and fat legs. I saw some girl going down on her and thought “She is only 26 and looks awful.” Her life is a trainwreck too, and the fall over a short period of time is a testament to the destructive power of drugs, even “legal” drugs (of the wrong kind and taken too frequently). I feel bad for her, because all of her relationships, whether with friends, lovers, roommates, etc., have been severed, often abruptly and in a difficult way, by her behavior… and she doesn’t appear to understand why. I pity her. Drugs and other problems are ruining her life and career. I may check in and see if she’s trying to get off them.

Met a couple who didn’t know each other well and had met recently… a couple who don’t know each other well and aren’t officially dating means that the girl may be up for grabs (something that I don’t think I thought to include in the book). The girl was somewhere between a high 6 and mid 7 but I liked her vibe… she was bouncing with excitement and pleasure when I met her, and enthusiasm is infectious, like coronavirus, but less dangerous. She’s also a kinky slut, and much later I picked up her contact details, and her dates’s.

Did a ton of spanking & flogging. Few people there appeared to know what they were doing with BDSM and the fact that I’ve developed those skills seemed to set me apart. Lots of audience, which started with me spanking my friend. Didn’t seem like anyone else brought floggers.

Closest shot on goal was a girl, Alyssa, who I spanked and who LIKED pain. I spanked another girl who was super cute, with a newbie boyfriend. Great to spank but said she has high pain tolerance (she doesn’t). Then her boyfriend wanted to be spanked, for some reason, to know what it was like? Not my favorite thing to do but it seemed like a moment when I ought to just go for it, so I did, and explained to him what I was doing, what I think about, how I check in with the girl, etc. So it was like half spanking, half tutorial. Couldn’t tell if I was getting bi vibes off him… I hope not. But the main way people learn this stuff is peer to peer, so I did some education? Don’t fully know how to interpret this, so the question marks.

Alyssa… I really worked over her ass and thighs. Long warm-up. Lots of flogging, eventually leading to full-on backhand, like a tennis player’s backstroke, with a paddle. The buildup allowed her to access that part of her. Most guys rush girls too much at every level, from the first kiss to the foreplay to the f**king, when girls want guys to move like 50% slower. Not so slow as to be languid, but more deliberately than most guys go. Be assertive enough for her to know your desire but understand chicks need more time than most guys give them. Alyssa did a lot of kind of annoying topping from the bottom, but I didn’t know her and so didn’t call her out on it. Spent a long time working her over, and interleaving touching gently and some kissing. Very passionate kissing. After, I asked her for sex and she said no but that she wanted to see me later. Later, we went to another area and talked, then made out some. I moved her around some, which she seemed to like, and set her up to grind. It was erotic, feeling her hips move and the sharp intakes of breath as she got going. I got about half hard, which she could feel, then she backed off again, saying she wasn’t into sex that night.

Some more negotiations followed and Alyssa didn’t want to f**k, Although she didn’t say it, she knew exactly what I was trying to do by heating her up, and she didn’t want to do it and only wanted to make out. She negged me by saying that I seem “goal oriented.” I laughed… she’s not wrong. Didn’t have a great response, honestly, because agreeing made me seem a little slimy, and the opposite wasn’t true and claiming not to be isn’t consisten with what she’d seen of my personality and skills. She wanted to know if I was going to stay and I was just like, “I’m tired and heading home.” Maybe could have played last cock standing but I believe the gold seam was played out and produced no nuggets, just a few flakes. With Alyssa I think she knew what was up, what her strict limits were for whatever reason, and that was that. She lives out of town, so I doubt I’ll see her again. Will follow up today but I’m not optimistic. I told this story to one player who said

There’s a weird negative vibe on chicks who are a “no” to f**king. It’s different from LMR. It’s like you can feel their mindset is set to No.

I lose interest pretty quickly if she is not at least open to f**king.

Part of the annoyance is when you sense on a limbic level that the purpose of her not f**king is due to a power dynamic and not because she is not ready/in the mood. It’s a huge turnoff.

I would offer a counter take on this… Alyssa wasn’t open last night but might be in the future. She was a forebrain override girl, one who liked that I had met a lot of people, spanked a lot of chicks, and demonstrated social competence and BDSM competence. There weren’t a lot of unoccupied cute girls. Transparently losing interest too fast is a mistake… it gives bad vibes to the girl and also f**ks up future events. I have her # and will ping her. A few weeks or months from now it could happen. She’s a good person to invite to random events when I don’t have anything else going on.

It’s bad to get the reputation as the guy who chases girls and then does a 180 when they won’t f**k right away. If the player abruptly pulls away once or twice, okay, lack of chemistry but it’s an undesirable reputation. There’s always the short play, in the moment, and the longer play, over time and over reputation. The discipline to make the longer play will lead to greater success, I think.

At the end, talked to a couple, the guy less hot than the girl, and the girl just gorgeous. Huge breasts on a very small and petite frame. I would’ve loved to f**k her. They’re relatively new to the world, so I took some contact info. Unlikely to go anywhere but some seeds have been planted. She’s the sort of girl who might look “okay” in street clothes and then turn out to be stunning naked.

Fair # of mismatched partners with girls much hotter than the guys.

Kinda miss the girl from the last big party, who I saw again once and has gone silent. Beautiful sexual chemistry with her, more than with anyone since Short Dancer, probably. Such quick sexual chemistry. Am I the same for her, or am I just some guy she f**ked? I’ll ping again in another week but going anywhere with her is doubtful. Relationships end, so I hope I’m top of mind when/if hers does.

The last couple events I have attended without a direct date, and that is doing this on hard mode. Harder mode anyway. Bringing a date leads to a higher probability of success.

I mean to write less but the inner voice speaks too loudly.

Learning

* Chat with people.

* Demonstrate competence. I learned how to do BDSM from a combination of online tutorials and guides and in-person. If you’re at an event and see someone who is doing it well, watch what they do and try to imitate it. Even ask them how they learned or what they were thinking about doing (after they’re done… never interrupt. Watch but don’t interrupt.)

* Play the long game.

The game’s endgame and picking up a girl at a private party

Got an invite to a huge private sex party… remember how I wrote, “game can be thought of a little bit like chess in that for good players the first 5 – 10 moves are memorized calls and responses and gamed out… the interesting stuff happens midgame.”? This is an endgame story, making it less valuable than mid-game stories, but I wrote most of it for a private group, so I figured I’d tell the rest…

At the party, I talked to a gorgeous, short girl who used to be a high-end escort and probably had income that put her in the 99%… not a great conversationalist or was on drugs… some other things about her stood out but are too private to share… asked for kiss when she left, and she said “maybe later.” In normal dating asking for the kiss is a bad move, but in this environment it’s the way to go.

Did an MFM with a couple I know… read Yoylo for an MFM example story… I have also laid out a threesome bluepint… this one happened because I’ve known them both for years… she is a solid 7… he is probably a male 8… he finds it hard to find the right women, and they are put together well. He’s had some of mine before, so it’s all good… I have spoken many times about reciprocity and balanced equation, and our equations are well-balanced. There is not a “game” story here… or if there is, it is buried in the years… we are all casual friends who spent some time catching up, then had a theeway. Very intense one, too. Whatever “game” was involved happened long ago.

Much later, I was about to leave and crash, but I saw this girl and had to say hi to her… so I got to chatting with this chick and she had great vibes, nice but not astonishing face, and just the best body. 25 or so… we chatted for a while and she noticed my paddle… asked if I would spank her… of course, baby… we found our way to a more private back area, away from the crowds, and she was so cute (great, top level super feminine energy) and responsive. Some spanking/paddling, light choking/hair pulling… things moved fast and she was broadcasting horniness… so I kept going forward, checking in with her at appropriate places… and wow. I didn’t think I could rise to the occasion but did it (sometimes verbalizing “I’m not sure I can have sex again” helps me relax into it), and sex with her was amazing… amazingly fun. Time between “Hi” and f**king was… 20 minutes? 30 minutes? I don’t know. It was almost too fast, even for me… I think she’d been marinating in the environment and socializing for a long time and yet hadn’t been approached, or properly approached (later I found out that she knew a guy there, a friend of friend, who had been chasing her, but she wasn’t into him). Or, right girl, right time? I want to give her an 8 due to her body just being packed in all the right ways and feeling fantastic but probably a high 7. Everything about her felt and seemed right. Instant chemistry is rare. She seemed almost grateful to have me inside her, which is a turn-on. Hope she comes out… we talked about that, but she might be an “in the moment” girl who disappears later. I hope not.

Like I said, it happened almost too fast… I wanted more time to play with her body, to get to know her, but her sex temperature was so high that I felt I couldn’t not. We talked about some logistical things… “feminine energy” isn’t discussed as much as it should be. Hers was off the charts. She was like crack. Other girls should take lessons in feminine energy and sounds from her. F**king her was great. She reminded me of Short Dancer, and it has been years since I have felt that way.

Did not see the former sex worker 9 again.

I’m also a re/tard in some ways… my stated goals are different than what I pursued last night, so there’s that.

I wasn’t going to turn this into a blog post at first, cause I don’t think there’s anything new to learn from it… but then I realized that that is the lesson… I’ve been building ecosystem/connections for many years, and staying in pretty good shape, and it came together. Maybe I could point out that even s**ts often want to know the guy/guys they’re sleeping with… more often than not they do… the first woman came around not because I was a random but because I wasn’t. Overall I think I’ve contributed more value to the community than I’ve taken from it, and that was reflected in the private sex party. It was reflected in the invite itself. It was reflected in the people I knew there. It was reflected in the fact that I knew how to be once I was there, and knew where to flirt and where not to. Where to push forward and where to hang back. The interesting things happen in the midgame… but this was the end game… the value had already been built. The reputation was in place. The beautiful 8 hadn’t been approached, or properly approached, and she was ready, so I went for it… I was wandering through the orchard and spotted what might be a ripe fruit… I climbed up… checked it out… turned out to be ripe… and it was good. I had the skills she wanted, and she… well, she had what I wanted. The fruits of the network.

Tried not to drink too much and succeeded… exhausted the next day… I feel a little too old for this shit in some ways to be honest. I still feel kinda off track… my forebrain and hindbrain continue to disagree… am I turning into a chick or something? Hope not.

This FR is late game…. it’s about the building of value and discovery and connections over many years. Very few guys can just walk into something like this… you have to know the players involved. The mid-game for this kind of thing can be read in detail here… if your version of the book is more than six months old, get the latest one, because I’ve been updating it in response to other guys’s questions and observations… thanks to other guys who have sent me their learning and their field reports… they have made the book better/stronger than it would have been otherwise. FRs that deal only with the first couple interactions with a woman often aren’t interesting because they’re pretty well gamed out. FRs that cover end game, like this one, often aren’t interesting because there’s not a lot of value building or practice taking place… the value building took place in the past. I’d learned to be in the right place at the right time with the right attitudes and that was rewarded. This is a study about reaping wheat, not about growing it (much harder to grow than to reap, or to eat the food made from the wheat). I was surprised by the girl at the end and the speed with which it happened. But the conditions for that had been created over many years. I’ve had this happen before… but this girl was just f**kin hot, and she’s relatively to new to the scene/community. In some ways I got lucky, but you know how the harder you work, the luckier you seem to get? It’s like that.

Magnum has different FMF report too.

“GOD it feels so good to get picked up.”

“The hilarious part was that after we f**ked, she says: ‘GOD it feels so good to get picked up.’

I have gotten this kind of response too. Sometimes chicks will yield horrible blowouts or just look at you like you’re a bug, but more often the responses will be positive, and sometimes they will be ecstatic, like this chick. Remember that most chicks are passive and will not do much but try to look good and react to the man’s actions.

Even many girls in relationships will be flattered when you hit on them. Most guys today are glued to their phones and have become social idiots. Be different.

Home Friend, again, and the cycle guys choose

(This one happened a few months ago, so it’s far out of date… wrote it at the time and then forgot to post.)

Home Friend. Remember her? Barely? Me too. She swung back around for a c**k ride, which seems to be happening every couple months… I wouldn’t mind her being more reliable but I do like her naked and bent over for me, so what can I say? Except that I am not doing the things I keep saying I need to do.

This time I spent some time talking to Home Friend, and it turns out that she has been dating a guy (I think she began dating him a while ago). They became “official” at some point, relatively recently I believe, since she was not in town for quite a while (she is vague on when precisely she got back… fine with me… I am her side piece and she is mine, or one of mine, it seems). It turns out that she was again with a guy…. and this time the guy made it official. “Official.” The last one might have too? I can’t keep all of the chick crazy stories straight. This one was apparently f**king another girl, and she figured this out by showing up at his place unannounced and the other girl was there. He wouldn’t let her in, and she is not a total idiot, so she figured it out.

She was angry while she was telling me the story….. then she started crying! This is after the f**king, during which she was not crying, fortunately, because I am not a fan of crying chicks, although dating chicks means you will deal with tears. Things like this have happened before. I come across as sufficiently non-judgmental that chicks pour out their hearts and thoughts to me…… and they are pretty red pill most of the time…… and usually the chicks are missing an important piece of the puzzle, just like young guys who don’t understand why they can’t get the top chicks. My guess is this guy did the classic thing a lot of players seem to do,

  • He likes some chick well enough. Most importantly, she is getting naked for him regularly.
  • He really also likes f**king the chick regularly.
  • He also really wants to f**k other chicks, if he can (a big “if”).
  • He knows chick #1 will turn off the sex if he won’t make it “official.”
  • So he makes it “official” while continuing to f**k other chicks, or trying to. Home Friend has a pretty conventional girl mind… she’s not proven susceptible to alternate mental frameworks.
  • “Official” girlfriend eventually figures it out. Or the side chick tells her. There are any number of ways for this to blow up.

I have been talking about non-monogamy as a way of getting around some of these problems. Some of you readers say that guys who do “official” girlfriend thing are idiots, and maybe probably that’s true, but I am also that idiot, right now, and I am doing things I really shouldn’t be doing, so yeah. The right thing is easy to do when you are debating it on the internet but sometimes harder to do when you confront it in real life.

I digress. Home Friend seemed surprised that I told her a lightened, edited, sanitized version of the above. I don’t think she’s ever thought of it this way before. Most chicks…… they don’t understand the lives and minds of guys. Guys don’t get chicks either. We are not reaching across that divide.

At times I will point out to Home Friend, and chicks like her, that the guys she likes most are also… tall, good-looking, have good social sense (approach her, escalate her, etc.), and they are probably applying those same good attributes to other girls, so why doesn’t Home Friend go choose a guy who is shy, likes her, and is maybe a little scared to approach her, or intimidated by her? She didn’t seem to understand why she would do this. Her language skills are improved but she doesn’t read nuance well… I think if they had been better she would have said what some chicks have admitted, that they want hot challenging guys and not really the guys who are available to them. They want guys +1 or more above them in sexual market value (SMV). The story of modern dating is all about SMV mismatch. She is a young hot girl so not many guys are above her in SMV… but she is not the hottest girl, so she’s stuck thinking about the hottest of the hot girls. She is stuck until she changes, or until she finds a guy who’ll do the things she wants. She might find him! She is hot, like I said. But she is also kind of placid, so she is only really choosing from the guys who come onto her, from what I can tell (I have seen almost nothing of her behavior in the wild). She uses alcohol to free herself and do some hookups, I believe, which leave her feeling bad and empty in the morning.

I said it the last time, but this is the last time. With her anyway. I need to not be like the player she found with another girl in bed! It will happen to you if you pursue that route.

Let’s talk about another player. I have been talking to a player who is going to a sex club pretty soon, or maybe he has already been? He seems to have uncovered a sex demon woman and it looks like he might bang one of her (attractive) friends as well. This is not a widely-appreciated part of f**king high-libido, no-jealousy women: you can end up f**king a lot of chicks, sometimes without trying very hard. She may end up being your wing woman. Like, when I was seeing Ms. Slav properly, I ended up in the double digits of random affiliated f**ks, and that is with me not even trying all that hard. Home Friend is part of the Ms. Slav run-off. And she is very attractive! Flakey as hell, but attractive. If a guy manages to snare a chick like this and wants to have a lot of casual sex with different women…… he can do it. I have been through this cycle a number of times. I think it’s great… it solves some of the problems I mention above. The trick is finding an attractive woman who is into this. They exist, but there aren’t a huge number of them, and they are often already tied to a primary partner.

Some of them also haven’t learned about consensual non-monogamy. The player I’ve been talking to seems to have a woman like this, who is learning about it from him. I hope he’ll write a field report about his experiences. I also don’t know where he’ll end up going.

 European sex club report

(I’ve been talking to this player on Twitter. English isn’t his first language. This is his story, but he wants to remain anonymous right now.)

Sex-positive environments are a unique place: you know that the people there are there for couple of reasons only. They want to open the release steam valve of their perversions (master and slaves, FemDom and all that kind of “beat me” stuff – how a man can feel pleasure in getting kicked in the balls is real hard for me to understand) or to experience hedonism in full colours, and boy, it is fun.

I’ve previously been to a sex-positive club and I was shocked by what happens in these parties: my idea was a bunch of 50 years old that swap their old hag for a bit of “fresh meat” thrill, but I was surprised to see young and attractive girls together with a bunch of equally attractive males. If you have to orgy, orgy hard Daddy.

In these parties, since it’s obvious that everybody is there for sex, you would think that you just walk to a hot chick, pull her hand on your cock and let the magic happens, well, that’s not really what happens…in theory.

Friday night I left for a famous party in Berlin at a famous place that organize these events: the dress code was fetish, so you have bunch of people all leathered up or basically in their underwear – what a magical filter to have for attraction, uh – I love to wear a bad biker outfit with my vest open – this is a form of peacock since 95% of men inside will have terrible bodies, eating too much sugar and drinking beer, if you drink, stick to whiskey, pal.

As a PUA, since you know what kind of social environment you are entering into, you can prepare and out maneuver any kind of competition thanks to game knowledge.

The biggest DHV you can have in these places is to have a good looking girl under your arm, but if you don’t, GAME will be fundamental.

I approached directly a stunning hot blonde in the dungeon and after she blushed, and she immediately shit tested me “Who are you with here.” I will get shit tested on my thirstiness couple of times in this interaction but never on my frame, interestingly enough girls are worried more of thirsty betas than a guy willing to spank her with a whip, frame, uh?

In these places is normal to find hot girls who need to let their slut side go and party hard, ending up in a gangbang or getting tied up to a wooden X and whipped till their body turn red – I replied with something like I parked my subs outside to a pole (do not say something like this in a different environment) and we started vibing: me stacking about her leather outfit (leather stripes going around the body) and then she introduced me to her friend… again, game aficionados would know what a cockblock is but in this context you can use at your advantage (in my case I said who was the master and who slaps who and started spike them both), and my wing comes at the right time but he almost doesn’t notice the set, yet the timing is amazing and I DHV him right in about his crazy shibari skills, while he story tells the friend. I take the chance to take my target to smoke a cigarette (I don’t smoke, the plan was just isolation).

A lot more spikes and locations changes (I have a mini flogger that she wanted to try while bent over a couch), then I asked her to go upstairs to play in privacy (code name for “let’s go fuck”) and she accepts… I take her hand and lead upstairs to a semi dark room with a big bed in it, a little bit of kino and flogging and I decide it’s time to go big or home, I pull my dick out in front of her face and she reaches for it, BOOM +1!

I take her number and her friend is still downstairs with my wing, who had already used the load while an old lady was gang banged by 6 guys with her husband watching… I owe him a lot for going through this. Once the girls reconnect downstairs, her friend says she got something and proceed to speak German – my girl says she will be back in a bit and they disappear together in the toilet (I suspect ecstasy, but who am I to judge?) I will never see her again.

Together with my wing we venture again in the dungeon and he introduces to a tranny that he knows who knows a ton of people, HE/SHE (whatever floats your boat) introduces me to the friend, a blonde chick next to that who immediately notices the flogger (I swear, how many chicks these days know what it is and what is it for) and teases me if I ever used it, I simply reply that if she behaves good with me maybe I will show her.

In reality, the chick is there only to cocktease since her boyfriend is the big guy at the door and she won’t do anything without him…oh well, at least I tried.

I also opened an older woman, because she had a busty body that made me very horny. An interesting thing here for players is couples.

A lot of couple will play with you if you have something to offer, maybe you have a Spartan warrior body, maybe you have an hot girl with you, maybe they just buy your frame, whatever, but a lot of couples will actually participate in games, in this case, as soon as this woman told me “I would like to play with you but I need to ask my husband” I understood that this one was either a total strike with a cuckoo or he would have just dismissed me because of their couple agreement.

Every couple has agreements like “I do the garbage you do the dishes” but they also have agreements on sex clubs, like “we must both bang – if you want to bang I select the man – we go together we live together ” etc. etc.

Turns out the man is a great guy, I started throwing DHVs on how I live life on my terms, after this trip I will go into the woods for a mini survival training (men love this, I’d love to meet people like this too where I’m from) he said they are busy tonight but he number close me to politely dismiss me, I guess their agreement was if you bring a guy, I must fuck what girl he brings – ahh, swingers, you gotta love them.

(Red Quest again: In my experience it’s more common for this sort of thing to happen in circumstances where you, the guy, already have a good reputation and reception. I don’t know how well known this player in this club or scene. I’ve also been told that Europe is better for sex clubs than anywhere else in the world. Most of the time, the sex clubs work when you are bringing a girl to the club. This player might be extremely high value on his own or have a reputation there. )

“First swingers clubs,” from a player in a forum

First swingers clubs“… a guy named Sailors Grave writes in the good looking loser forum. The content is average and there is nothing ground-breaking in his field report, but apart from black dragon he’s the first example I’ve seen of a player talking about swinging and sex parties.

I stumbled onto it by accident but it’s so unusual to find a player speaking to this domain that I’m linking it up. Have you seen other players figure this out?

Brief one about limited interactions at a sex party

Went to another closed sex party Saturday night, and as I began to write this I thought back on The Tom Torero lay report book, “Below the Belt”, “Should you read it? I dunno. If you want more lay reports, then sure. If you’ve already read a bunch of them, as I have, then I don’t know if it’s that useful. They do get repetitive, and that sense of repetition may be part of what’s making me thinking about the next part of my life.” Same thing here, cause a lot of the older sex club reports (the ones I didn’t write cause I wasn’t writing then) would look like this one… went to the party that some friends were hosting. Maybe 100 people there total? Enjoyed it overall and chatted with some people. Not a lot of really good looking girls there, but three or four 7+s were around. Had a couple with a hot girl offer a swap, so that was fun. Declined it, though. Precedent: don’t want to go there right now.

Sex parties, lots of people f**king together in the same space, it’s just very… stimulating. Stimulating in a way impossible to explain without experiencing it. The group dynamic makes everyone f**k better, improves focus, offers encouragement. There’s an undercurrent of feeling that we’re all getting one over on societal rules… that feeling players know… but it’s present here as well. Even if you don’t interact too much with other people, it can be a fun place. The stimulation is there even without f**king another woman. I’ve actually transacted a bit of business at these events, too, cause you never know who’s going to be at them. I’ve seen couples who go regularly but never go beyond touching or kissing other people. They get some of their jollies from the environment, without wanting to risk their primary relationship. Compared to the typical getting drunk and being bored and then being hung over the next day, this is a big improvement. Everyone wants to f**k anyway… better to skip the pretense.

There were a few too many fat chicks for my taste, and more shifty guys than I would have liked, if you know what I mean. Wasn’t enough to make me leave, but I noted it. There was also a small cute girl there who I’ve met before but who has the glassy-eyed, thousand-cock stare that I’m not a fan of. I’m sure some hater guys who have never been think all the chicks there are like that, but that’s not been my experience… most of them have a pretty well-integrated sexuality, a sexuality that their forebrain and hindbrains agree with, and that prevents the vacant look of women who use sex or their bodies for attention, as transactions, etc. This one… I can’t place her. Have not been inside her but have thought about having a go. Something seems a little off about her, and that plus wanting to establish good precedent holds me back. I also need to be congruent. If I am not congruent in what I think I should be doing and what I do, that is going to f**k me up.

Saturday morning I also went out for coffee with my date, and there was a couple sitting across from us. Struck up a bit of a conversation over something, can’t remember what… I found the girl unbelievably sexy, but I’m not sure why exactly… something about the way she moved, or her vibe. The pants she was wearing, somewhere between yoga pants and sweatpants, just made her ass look fantastic. The guy was more interesting than average too. They both looked like they’d just rolled out of bed. Probably won’t go anywhere, but the old ways and habits die hard. I dropped a strategic drug reference in, and that went over well. I get the vibe from them, probably because I really want to get the vibe.

It also appears that Torero has killed his whole online presence, so if you want the book, speak up and maybe it will find its way to you.

Yoylo’s first sex club experience [FR]

If you follow me on Twitter you may have seen Yoylo… this is his first field report on the blog, and follow his adventures on Twitter too. I like this story because it illustrates the dangers of not being on the same team with your date, and I worry that I have given too positive a vision of the non-monogamy world.

A bit of a background: I got married at 23, and she was 23 as well. Our daughter was born at 26 and by 30 we all moved from Russia to Sydney. But my then-wife and I separated mid 2018 and divorce papers are in court now. Joint application. The hearing is scheduled for early 2020.

A few months after our separation she found a guy, late 40s or early 50s, who she fucks semi-regularly till now. She tried a few other guys but no one stuck except that one. Apparently he’s a good fuck, knows what he’s doing, but they have no other relations but sex at her place once per week or less (this guy comes as he pleases).

I banged a few girls and had a mini-relationship with one city chick in the Philippines, where I go periodically to check on my property; I bought an investment condo a while ago, so I’m there a few times per year. I went in April as well and spent a weekend with this “girlfriend.”

My ex and I remained friends after separation and talked openly about her sex with this guy and my stuff with various women too. We met regularly for a coffee or a drink and to spend time with our daughter together. And we fucked a few times; the first time you fuck a woman is almost always the most challenging, as subsequent sex doesn’t increment her internal notch counter. This is part of the Matthew Effect: the more women a guy fucks, the more likely he’s going to have one rebound on his cock.

Continue reading “Yoylo’s first sex club experience [FR]”

Oh, I was wrong about the Tinder thing, it is that bad

I was wrong, and you all (as well as my younger friend) were right. Some context: a younger guy I know through work recently got what he perceives to be a nuclear breakup, in which his girlfriend of four years standing just dumped him… without any warnings that he picked up. More likely, he is an oblivious younger guy who thinks he is the man and had started taking the chick for granted and/or ignoring her subtler signs. Or who knows, maybe she did just wake up and drop him one day.

He was devastated for a month then signed up for online dating, like everyone else, notably on Tinder, and it was not good for him. I’ve met his ex and she’s quite attractive, although I suspect she’s going to run to fat due to low discipline… probably a low 8 today and might have been higher when they met. My friend got on Tinder and a few weeks ago started telling me how bad it has been for him. I said that it can’t be that bad, relying on my four, five year old memories of it… I bragged to him, “I will make a Tinder account, lie about my age, and I’ll show you how to do it.” Mentally, I thought, “It can’t be that hard, especially with good pictures.” I also told him to Google “daygame” and read the Neil Strauss book, but I don’t think he’s done either.

I did make the Tinder account and it has changed. The number of matches I got, even with very similar profiles, dropped majorly. I paid for the version that shows me who likes my profile, and my Tinder reaction is, “Where are all these fat chicks coming from?” While I too have read about how half of Americans are fat and another quarter “overweight” (polite term for fat)… I have never seen so many fat chicks in one place. I guess they are invisible to me in everyday life, unless they are blocking the sidewalk or I have to sit next to a sugar addict on a plane.

I ought to apologize to my colleague/friend and to the guys online who I privately doubted… RP Murphy / Red Pill Dad has been writing about the misery of swipe-on-demand online dating, and I’m glad I didn’t say anything publicly to chastise him, because he is correct and I was not.

(Added subsequently: If you want a shot at making Tinder work, see Andy’s guides, “Get Laid a Tonne on Tinder [Part 1] – Improving Your Looks & Taking Photos” and “Get Laid a Tonne on Tinder [Part 2] – Setting Up Your Profile & Getting Matches.” I have not personally attempted Andy’s strategies, but they seem plausible, and his guides are comprehensive. By the time you are a high-value-enough guy for Tinder to work I think offline, real-world will work too.) 

Tinder is owned by a company called Match.com, and the U.S. Federal Trade Commission (FTC) is suing Match.com and Tinder for fraudulent business practices, including fake profiles and fake expressions of interest. Match.com is almost certainly doing the same thing on Tinder, possibly by leaving old and out-of-date profiles up. Back when I used to do online dating before the swipe app revolution, it was pretty easy to run out of attractive, active matches, even in a pretty big city. Tinder never seems to run out, which means that there are either thousands more attractive women online at a given time (unlikely), or Match.com is lying, fudging profiles, and holding some attractive profiles in “reserve” for subscribers. The level of backend manipulation is outrageous.

I was on Tinder for like 10 – 12 days and two girls of note came out on dates. One of them had a Snapchat listed, so I messaged her on there… she replied (surprising, as she was hot) and quickly told me that she is “sort of” a “model and escort girl.” I told her that’s fine and then told her that I’ve dated girls who are sex workers before (this is true, albeit non-monogamously). Sent her some pics of us together. She then began asking me how much they charged an hour! And how much she should charge. I began laughing out loud and told her that she was thinking about it all wrong and that we should talk about it over drinks. She said okay.

Over drinks we talked about why she wants to do it, what she’s doing with her life (kind of in school, but her answers are flakey enough to make me think not in school), and I am studiously watching her eyes and not her prominently displayed tits. After a while, at the second bar, I tell her a little bit about what I understand about the sex work business.

Being an escort who makes good money and (ideally) avoids bad situations is only partly about having an available pussy and a good body. The rest of it is a mix of psychologist, customer service, and understanding the male mind. Most guys are not looking *just* for sex… Nash has been talking on Twitter lately about how guys are emotional about chicks, just not in the way that many chicks expect. Most guys, even guys who don’t want to commit are not seeking totally mechanical casual sex where they nut, roll over, and leave… they are seeking to connect with the chick. But many chicks are too f**ked up to let the proper connection happen. There is some more to this argument… I hope we get a Nash post on it soon.

Back to the story, two bars, some kissing between bars, some making out in bar #2, and she comes back but is a little skittish. She is also pretty young and maybe not used to hooking up with adult guys in adult guy spaces, so I pour the wine and after some wine do the kissing again. I can tell that she’s nervous and I call it out. She admits she’s nervous and I tell her not to be, but I’m getting kind of weird energy so I pull back and do a “back to college” move and suggest we watch something on Netflix… I have an account for a reason… so I pick Sense8… seems to be my go-to for some reason, and we start watching on a computer. It seems to work because she relaxes. The escort talk is mostly gone and after ten or 15 minutes we’re f**king and it’s actually quite nice.

After she re-opens the escort talk… and I’m thinking, “Has she just ‘paid’ me for more advice about sex work?” To be honest I think the answer is yes. I go on with the spiel, guys are there for sex but also for validation, for a pretty girl to tell him he’s handsome, he’s good in bed, his wife doesn’t appreciate him properly, his boss should give him a promotion, etc. etc. Not as crudely as I’ve put it here, but good sex workers do all those things… and are usually seeking more like a monthly allowance situation, which means less sex (mileage on her pussy) and more money. All things that guys who have been consultants of any kind understand… you want to get out of the “commodity service provider” category and into the “essential business practice and improvement category.” Like the consulting things discussed here.

She seems pretty impressed, although she won’t let me shoot nude pics (how is she going to escort??), and she stays over. We have another two sex-dates together. I learn her parents are divorced… not good… she admits she is between schools right now… she reminds me a little bit of Low-cut top girl, although hotter and less combative, but a little bit lost and with f**ked up intersex dynamics. Despite her physical attractiveness I could not get into her and during the third date suggested that we go to a sex club together. I’d seeded the idea a little bit with the concept that monogamy is strange if you think about it… but she was not receptive and then ghosted me.

The other chick was a high 6 or so, not as attractive as her pics, but had a decently bright and bubbly personality. We told a lot of dating stories, then moved into more life trajectory and emotional ideas… she seemed to vibe with it… two venues, back to my place, we start kissing again and she stops me to say that we can’t do this if I’m just going to ghost her. I tell her my views on ghosting, articulated at the link, but then I also turn into a girl and say, “You’re right, we shouldn’t do this tonight.” That’s often a line from game, but I mean it… I just don’t want to bang a girl who’s going to get hurt by it after… I can tell she is wrong for me (not hot enough, smart enough, personality not good enough), and then the script reverses and she says she really wants to and that she wasn’t trying to stop me. I tell her honestly that I don’t think we’re right for each other… she then gets on her knees and starts blowing me, to recapture momentum… I’m saying that I don’t think we should do this and I don’t want to set bad expectations that I am not going to live up to… she has stopped talking and keeps performing… it does feel like a performance, which is not my favorite feeling, but in the end I am still a guy and go with it.

We do date two… it’s also okay… before we have sex I just break out the idea of going to a sex club (also prematurely)… she is not into it either and looks like she’s going to cry as well… and she talks pretty bitterly about how guys just want to f**k and no one wants a relationship. Two chicks off Tinder, two sessions in tears or near tears. I’m kind of depressed, but I ask her about what the guys on Tinder have in common… she doesn’t know… I give her a version of “Mismatched sexual market value (SMV): Diagnosis and cures,” and I tell her that she’s probably like most people doing online dating and trying to get guys who are at least 20% more attractive than her, and that’s almost always going to lead her to disappointment. Like most people, she is dumb and wants to know if I’m saying she’s ugly. She’s not ugly, not at all, but attractiveness is a spectrum… if she is trying to date guys higher than her… guys who look good online… she is going to have problems. I don’t think she is receptive to this and it probably just makes her angry. I tell her she should just stop doing monogamy… this doesn’t seem to make her happy either. We have sex anyway, about an hour later, and the next day I tell her that I like her but that I think she is looking for someone who is not me. She doesn’t reply. Ghosted again.

These two are out of probably 100+ chicks I have liked or messaged via Instagram or Snapchat. Neither one of them really count properly in my opinion. Most of the Instagram ones did not reply. Makes me think about, Could Instagram be becoming an important adjunct to game?

So what do I think about Tinder?

I’m pretty confident Tinder gives paying customers boosts up and beyond whatever they say they do, so I bought the premium features. One of them lets me see who has liked me. Almost everyone who did, was fat. Literally, where are all these fat girls? They must be all around me, and I just don’t notice them at all, unless they’re in my way (to be fair, they often are). I’d guess that you need to buy the better versions of Tinder to make a go at all.

What happened to Tinder? Some possibilities include…

1. I’m doing it wrong somehow. Maybe I need longer conversations. I’m not and never have been a fan of long online conversations, because ten minutes in person will reveal compatibility far better than ten hours of online conversation, but the market may have shifted in that direction.

2. My profile is/was too tuned to jackass party boy. I changed it halfway through.

3. Lack of Instagram presence is holding me back.

4. I didn’t put enough time in: in my defense, this was a pretty low time commitment… previous forays in this world have shown that 90% of the output emerges from like 10% of the time, and that if it doesn’t happen pretty fast, it’s time to move on and try another strategy. It took the belligerents in WWI way too many years to learn that horses are worthless and charging into entrenched machine gun positions is stupid. Humans are resistant to reality and I am not an exception, however much I want to fancy myself one.

5. Something else I’m not aware of.

Out of the ten or so acceptably attractive and seemingly normal chicks I matched with, two wanted to go on dates apart from the 6, both were bad (see below). Generally, I unmatched pretty quickly if the date wasn’t going to happen, or removed them from Instagram if that was the contact point. My sense from talking to people in real life is that many people let matches sit there and linger for weeks and months… this seems to provide chicks with a sense of unlimited possibility, which is bad (for guys as well as the chicks themselves, I think). Guys should un-match or block the chicks if it’s not moving forward pretty rapidly.

Also, I hadn’t 100% appreciated the extent to which some chicks are into Instagram. A large percentage of chicks appear to be chasing Instagram attention; how many deeply understand that online attention is garbage? I don’t recall this from long-ago forays into Tinder. To do online seriously, I think need an Instagram thing as an extension of online dating. Fortunately, I don’t want that.

One entertaining girl I messaged on Snapchat, a standard opener. Opened, no reply from her. Then I did a Torero-like recovery text, figuring that I’d see what happened, and she replied, “You have to understand I get a million messages a day, I only reply to the pictures.” Incredibly bitchy, but also maybe good advice. I replied the same is true of me (it isn’t, thank God) and wished her luck. And then removed her.

My impression from interacting with people in their 20s is that a lot of guys retain random chicks on social media accounts when they shouldn’t… this is bad for the guy (his brain incorrectly thinks he’s got a shot) and addictive to the chick (cause chicks love attention). I did message some chicks (on Instagram, it appears you can message chicks without following them), and then removed them when they didn’t reply or didn’t want to go on a date. Perhaps this is the “wrong” thing and chicks watch guys’s feeds, then message the ones they find interesting. If so, that seems like a terrible way to be in the game, but, again, I could be wrong on this.

If this online thing is really how 20-somethings are trying to pair off, I understand why they are all miserable… I don’t mean to be an old codger, but something has gone seriously wrong. The number of articles about social and emotional problems in Gen Z is enormous. If they are on Tinder, I see why… it is so damn depressing, far more depressing than I could have imagined, far more depressing than daygame (or maybe I have enough practice to not to be too hurt by blowouts?). And the number of fat chicks… it’s like a zombie army of them. Chicks must also be unhappy because so many of them are too fat to attract a man’s attention and lack the fortitude to implement the simple systems needed to be height-weight appropriate. I have long disliked the arguments about modern life being fundamentally f**ked up, but using Tinder makes me think they have some validity.

I can see why some non-elite guys get radicalized by attempting Tinder, since it’s a depressing and yet awesome display of female privilege… female privilege has always existed, of course, but it’s not been so in your face… a huge parade of attractive chicks, all implicitly saying “no.” Worse than them is the even larger parade of not-so-attractive chicks, all also saying no.

Apart from the two chicks I told stories about, I did go out with two other random chicks who turned out to be fatter than I thought. Did chit-chat for an hour… I will say that fatter chicks are way more engaged and work harder to impress me, but it just… doesn’t work. I can’t be bothered. I feel bad for fat chicks. Just not bad enough to try and bang ’em.

How many guys stay with a woman not because they’re excited about her, but because they don’t think they can do any better? Bet a lot of guys do.

Among the two non-fatties I met, the would-be prostitute is the more interesting one. Has the figure for it. But she is just not that smart, which I could tell by talking to her and trying to explain some about what successful prostitutes do (it isn’t just the sex).

She also wouldn’t let me shoot nude photos of her at all, even though shooting a chick nude is somewhat normal today, especially at the beginning of an affair, but refusing is strange for someone who is going to let strangers shoot loads into her for money.

With both chicks, I told them a lot about what I actually think, and that was probably “bad game.” I was having a Twitter conversation about “honesty” versus “social skills” or “palatability” recently, where one guy said you should be scrupulously honest with everything you say to chicks. It’s an opinion and I understand why he has it. But I think it’s also a good idea to have the social skills to know what you should say and when you should say it… to take a non-game example, if you have a junior colleague who wants to take an assignment he’s not ready for, you could say, “No. You suck.” In some circumstances that could be appropriate, but in many cases it will sting him and make him hate you.

You could instead say to him, “What skills do you think the assignment needs?” Lead him down that path. Ask him what he thinks he’ll be doing in that assignment. Ask him how he thinks he’ll handle some of the challenges that arise. If he can’t answer some of those questions… he’s likely to see the problems for himself. And then you can say, “Work on those skills, show me work product [x], and then we’ll talk again.”

Same effect, different outcome, right?

Sometimes being super blunt is the right thing to do. More often, it will alienate people, especially early on. With the 8… she lacks the internal ability to realize she’s not that smart and as a result has not thought through the various things that her job entails. Maybe she will learn them over time, but I’m not sure she has the intelligence to do that. Her emotional intelligence doesn’t seem to be particularly high either. I warned her that there’s a good solid chance she’s going to have some really negative experiences if she’s meeting totally unknown guys for paid sex off Tinder.

She almost started crying (second date). Didn’t quite cry, but almost. I tried to comfort her some… and told her to get a job as a hostess at a restaurant or something like that. She has had jobs like that, but the pay is not high and at the last one some guy working there was apparently chasing her around, thinking she’s a free bread basket and he wants to dive in for the goodies. Although her story was somewhat garbled. She seemed to be looking at me for moral support and I kind of shrugged and was like, “That’s guys.” Put your foot down. I don’t know, call the police if he’s touching her without her consent. She strikes me as the sort of girl who can’t say no properly, who will do so in a flirty way that says to men, “Come hither.”

Or… who knows… maybe she was f**king the guy, and some other guy was jealous and made things uncomfortable for her. This is another “narrative” thing. Most chicks complaining of “sexual harassment…” it’s bullshit. It’s abetted partially by the chick, like most guys who get conned are getting conned because they’re trying to get something for nothing.

Both these chicks are examples of how NOT to seed non-monogamy. To do it properly, a chick has to be invested in you and has to be largely in your frame. It should be done like 6 – 12 weeks after the initial sex. I used it here (and have used it in similar circumstances) as a filter for chicks I’m not 100% into… they can get introduced to the world, I can get credit for bringing new chicks in, etc. It’s a low probability play that I use in situations when I’m going to let the girl go anyway… so I might as well test to see if she has deep non-monogamous fantasies that I can engage. In both their cases, the answer is no, or I just couldn’t be bothered to do it right.

What a depressing experience… there seems to have been a “golden age” of online dating from like 2006 – 2014 or 2015… when being online got old enough to make online dating not be too weird, but before smartphones and the masses destroyed it.

I think I also haven’t properly appreciated an ecosystem advantage I have (or had, as I am pretty much letting it go, I think). The power of real-world meeting has always been large, but it seems to have actually grown as more people have heaved themselves online.

I feel like kind of an idiot for mentally scoffing at the guys who denigrate online dating apps… I dunno, maybe Bumble works better, because it forces chicks to make a decision. Overall, though, some of the anger among the Red Pill communities makes a little more sense… if my primary experience of dating were of online dating, I’d think women are idiots too… although I’d be wrong, I’d be basing that view off a limited number of women and a circumstance not favorable to guys. The anger of women towards men also makes a little more sense… women don’t actually like having to choose between 30 different, very similar appearing guys, I think. At the same time, they go out with the hottest-seeming guys… get f**ked… then the guy moves on… then the woman posts something online about how ALL MEN ARE DOGS… because she is chasing the OMG hottest guy, who has lots of other options. Truly a situation to breed discord. In real life, people who behave as dysfunctionally as they do online will fail.

I also don’t believe women who can’t find dates online. They are being unreasonable and not dating effectively.

A lot of younger chicks also seem to be social retards. They’re spending too much time online and not enough time in the real world. Social retards who spend too much time online make themselves even more socially retarded. This applies to guys too and explains why so much of the Red Pill discourse is retarded… it’s being driven by guys who are spending 4+ hours a day online, instead of going out into the real world and meeting chicks. Or even other guys. A lot of younger chicks seem more socially retarded than they did when I was like 20. Japan shows us where we’re going.

So many people are living contrary to human nature. Too much time online, too much sugar and simple carbs, not enough time exercising, no time creating. Too much consuming, too little creating. Half of teenagers have social/emotional problems like anxiety and depression… because of how we live now… and we are too addled to learn how to live properly. We are meant to interact with other humans in real life… not an infinite sprawl of their shitty pics online, working for social media companies without being paid for it.

There is a meta lesson here, too, which is that real experience beats theorizing. I didn’t appreciate how f**king bad it is. In a few relatively short years, the whole thing changed around. I also didn’t appreciate how mal-adaptive a lot of the female behavior seems to be online. Or is it that the adaptive chicks just get snapped up faster? Whatever the source is, I was just f**king wrong. It’s humbling to be so wrong.

I would guess that it can be useful to use online dating once every 2 – 3 months to pick up any easy pickings who are new to online… otherwise, not at all… and like I said, it’s just f**king depressing.

If I am a high-quality guy (I let others make that determination), I made the Tinder market a little bit worse when I deleted my account. Who is left when the high-quality people with good social skills and lives leave?

I will say that I feel validated in pursuing the non-monogamy dating patterns I’ve followed, as dating couples and some single chicks WITH a chick is way more fun than pursuing it alone. Doing so has also helped me develop pretty large social networks through friends and friends-of-friends. When a woman breaks up with her boyfriend, her first source of new dick is often guys she already knows… and ideally guys she’s already f**ked… meaning, me.

I knew that non-monogamous dating is a kind of force-multiplier effect: more sex with less work. Until this experiment I didn’t appreciate how much the force-multiplier works. I had thought it was like a multiplier of 1.5 or 1.75 or something like that. Now I think it’s like a 3 – 5x multiplier, at least if you’re a guy who just wants more sex with hot chicks… Nash seems to like relatively inexperienced chicks, with particular life histories… the kinds of chicks who are not going to end up at sex clubs, for the most part… so for someone like that, what I’ve done is the wrong route. For someone like me, this seems like it’s been an incredible deal, which I didn’t understand until recently. Seeing the conventional-dating online wasteland has changed my view. Now I think I am more of an advocate for this than I was, for a guy who wants sex with a lot of different women.

Maybe all the supposed Tinder hookup stories are about fat chicks.

Maybe I’m doing it wrong and need to tone down the fuckboy profile.

Maybe I should actually amp up the profile and make it all about bondage, paddles, and discreetly anonymized chicks who are tied up (that’s one way to filter). I speculate on this because Feeld has been okay for me, as I wrote above, though it does depend on starting w/ a hot chick.

It’s been a while since I’ve been this provably wrong.

This tweet is interesting… I find it almost unbelievable and wonder if this pattern is common. We may also be in a cycle where on Tinder chicks are shit to guys, so the better guys leave it… as the better guys leave, the better chicks do as well… and then the chicks are bitchy to the guys, and the guys are trying a mass-contact strategy, leaving everyone poorly off.

Despite a low or moderate amount of effort I technically slept with two chicks, but the escort one is too weird to “count” as a proper lay and the other one is not really hot enough IMO. While I’ve done worse I don’t see any reason to count her. It sapped my spirit… I don’t think f**king an 8 has ever sapped my spirit before… this is a new feeling.

Overall, this experiment points to the need for in-person approach over online. Something has gone terribly wrong w/ the online world in the last 4 – 5 years. I hadn’t appreciated how badly that’s happened.

 

The unexpected one from Feeld: she is a tourist from another country

Usually Feeld is only useful for couples: I’ve used it, on and off, for dates w/ other couples, and it’s been fairly successful for that (see archives for some examples… Peaches came from there originally). Some “unicorns” (single, unattached girls open to sex with couples) show up, but they’re pretty rare and I don’t think I’ve had a real-life meet with a true unicorn from the app. Till now. Matched with a couple of unicorns, but I push the meet pretty quickly as I don’t want to be anyone’s penpal. This girl, I’m going to call her “Marcia,” was planning to visit town and said so in her profile. She’s surprisingly pretty (7) and interested in sexual exploration, and, most surprising of all, she shows up to the first date, after relatively minimal talk about sex clubs and how they work, as well as where she lives. On the first date she’s put off that I didn’t bring a girl, but I asked how many girls she’s dated from online (zero) and then reminded her that girls are flakey as hell, and on the fly I told her that I often vet chicks. The last bit is not precisely true but true enough.

[Strangely, I’ve been getting a lot of questions from players / wannabe players about how to start doing non-monogamy, and then I say, check the book, and they’re like, what book? Not sure what’s up with that, but it’s in the side bar.] 

Back to the story: lots of talk about respective countries, what she’s looking for, and lots of sex talk… given how we met, the sex talk was a given. She’s not living in the biggest city in her country, which is likely a big barrier to good kink and non-monogamy communities. Pretty standard two-venue, two drinks at each venue, did the bang. Mid 7, mid 20s, not too exceptional, although young & thin is way too rare in the age of relentless sugar consumption. Next night, my threesome buddy was around, so we banged her pretty relentlessly together. He’s been seeing a new girl for a while, and we double teamed her a while ago, but there wasn’t a story in that one. Lately I feel like I’ve been picking up random lays here and there rather than having a consistent main chick, although that may change here… I may be finding my way out of the game… we shall see.

With this girl, the night after, we had a threesome with Ms. Slav, so Marcia got her girl-girl threesome too. She seemed pretty impressed that she expressed a desire for group sex and then… got group sex. I get that perspective, as most people, particularly women, can’t execute anything. When I told Marcia that chicks are flakey and bad at planning, at first she denied, but after some back and forth where I challenged her on what women have made happen romantically in her life, she came around to agreeing. Night after I rested, night after that I took her to a sex club w/ Ms. Slav and others, and did a nice swap with a pretty blonde girl whose boyfriend seemed very happy to be f**king a new girl. I was pretty beat by the end.

This happened a while ago… I wrote most of this story, then didn’t get around to posting. Marcia did get what she wanted in the form of sexual experimentation (she’d mentioned it in her original profile). She seemed happy to see me and amazed at what’s possible. I think she can get sex positivity and kink from her home country, just not from where she is living.

Overall it was a positive experience for both of us, but it is not a very repeatable experience because Feeld works best for couple-to-couple dating. Many couples on it are seeking unicorns (I will snag one if I see one, which I don’t) but I get the sense that the unicorn thing almost never works out. Doesn’t stop people from trying, though.

It’s useful to distinguish between attainable, repeatable strategies versus weird one-offs. Many guys online focus on daygame because it’s attainable and repeatable. Advice like, “Just become a famous actor or musician” may be repeatable, but it’s not attainable. Guys who get ecosystems going (like being in a cool local band) may have systems that are repeatable, but not useful for a guy with zero inclination towards music. Non-monogamy systems like Feeld or SDC can work for guys with one decently hot chick and who are seeking others but will probably not work for a guy without a chick. You have to have the first chick, like you can’t do nuclear fission without a high element like uranium.

But if you, the player, are out trying various things, various angles, sometimes you will get a good some random lays, as happened to me here, from unexpected sources. It does seem like non-monogamy is more popular than it used to be, and that, for guys having casual sex with multiple women, there is little reason not to attempt this. Since the girl you’re casually f**king is likely casually f**king other guys anyway, why not make that impulse work for you?

It seems average people, even average players, don’t understand how powerful the non-monogamy thing can be. I have this system set up, where I can pretty much (not perfectly) deliver on many women’s deepest fantasies. This chick Marcia came along and discovered that I can make things happen that other guys can’t make happen… pretty cool if you think about it. Other players can also layer the non-monogamy network on top of the rest of their game.

Marica learned a lot about how non-monogamy works, and I explained to her that for a lot of people the hardest part is not jealousy, it’s not the things that people typically expect… it’s time management.

I have been seeing some of Ms. Slav, just not that much. Enough to keep the demons at bay, but in some ways I feel a little stupid about Ms. Slav, like I brought fresh meat to the village and haven’t gotten enough credit for it… or enough of the meat. Doesn’t matter much now, but it’s a feeling I’ve been having… maybe I’m turning into a chick, but I’m trying to pay more attention to how I feel, rather than just what I do and how effective I am at doing it.

It’s kind of a weird sensation. Is this how chicks live? No wonder they can’t get shit done. Intellectually, I know that Ms. Slav and I had an implicit deal and I have more or less held up my side and despite some flakiness from her she has actually more or less held up her side. A chick like her is why some guys go to the sex clubs and parties… they will occasionally get a free lunch, a young hot chick who just loves to f**k, and that is her. Right place, right time, you can get what you came for. Pretty unusual, but not impossible. Everything I have seen in this world reaffirms the idea that there are no shortcuts, even as I keep looking for them, wanting them to exist. Pointless, really. Marica was a sort of shortcut, but one who comes along so rarely that there is no point is seeking other chicks like her.

I think Marica might genuinely have flown across an ocean to attempt to have casual group sex experiences. Seems like a damn long way to go. She seems a little unimaginative… like those travel bores who are droning on about where they went and what they ate, but have zero insight and seem to have set fire to a bunch of money so they can tell their friends they once went to Italy. Right after I finished this post, I saw a Long Burn The Fire tweet, “When you ask a girl to describe how a particular experience made her feel and she replies with ‘i dunno, why are you asking this, thats weird’ youll know youve arrived in retard land.” Marcia is not in retard land… but she’s also living not too far from the border. (Long Burn The Fire, if you are reading this, where is your blog???)

I feel kind of tired of chasing down chicks for sex who aren’t that good… I know that the smart thing to do is to keep chasing, but be more discriminating… I don’t know, though, as I’ve been thinking about some of the really top chicks in my life, and there just aren’t that many of them. I have a much darker view of humanity in general than I used to. A lot of people just seem kid of worthless. That makes me wonder, though, does someone who is like 20 IQ points above me, who has achieved far more than me, look at me and think I’m kind of worthless? For some people, that could be a legitimate view. I read biographies of some of the real greats, especially in science, math, and engineering, and it’s like, “These guys were doing shit beyond anything I can even attempt.” This is not a terribly productive line of thought, but sometimes dark thoughts help us better orient ourselves toward the future.