“[the single mother] at the BBQ was too fat and likely old. I did my usual in that situation: didn’t say too much, but when I did talk, I only talked about lifting, fitness, and nutrition.”
@TheRedQuest doing his part against fat acceptance.
I appreciate the mention and encouragement, but I’m also really unconcerned with the fat acceptance movement. It’s pure virtue signaling and has zero impact in the place it matters most: dating and mating markets. Even the handful of people who think fat acceptance is a thing still prefer not to date fatties.
Markets are beautiful because they separate the lies people say (meaning, most of what people say) from what people actually want. Almost no one wants fatties. Even if most people are polite to fatties, as I typically am, the fatties still won’t be able to get good dates.
That being said, I feel some compassion towards fat people, but before you think I’ve become an everyone-is-special loser, I say that I feel some compassion towards fat people because our entire built environment is geared towards making people fat. Kids are told to sit down and be quiet from an early age; recess is in peril, while gym is often a joke. The vast majority of cities are built around cars that transport fatties around with zero effort, so that no one needs to bike or walk. White-collar work demands that most people sit at desks. Most people don’t even have a sit-stand desk (although I see this changing, slowly). Someone who bikes to work is seen as either an improbable hero who is far removed from everyday life or a weirdo. I’ve been seen as both.
Sugars and simple carbs are everywhere in our society. For decades, the USDA and other organizations encouraged everyone to eat a high-carb, low-fat diet (I believed it, too, up until the mid to late ’00s, when the counter evidence became overwhelming). In fact, the opposite is desirable: a high-fat, low-carb, zero-sugar diet.
Most people who don’t want to be fatties must actively fight against the society in which we live. Many don’t even understand nutrition or its importance in their lives. For most people, who just go with the flow around them, becoming a fattie is the default state. We should build a society in which cars are unnecessary, biking is common, and simple carbs are rare.
I know that’s an improbable utopia. But we can try to do it. You, the reader, can try by getting a bike and riding it. That’s an improvement almost any normal person can do. Encourage other people to ride, but don’t be an asshole about it.
Two things are simultaneously true:
- The entire food and physical environment is geared towards making people fat.
- An individual person can choose a different path, one that takes him or her away from being a fattie. (As I have done.)
Saying “The environment is built to make fat people” does not absolve someone of individual responsibility, but it does make me understand why most of us are fat.
The “individual responsibility” part is why I sometimes invite fatties to the gym with me, or become a bore who only talks about sugar and deadlifting and foam rollers during certain social moments. We can do better, if we choose to do so. I pity the fatties, because most don’t really know what to do or lack the willpower necessary to execute the program. Being fat is detrimental beyond dating life. It signals sloth and low conscientiousness to employers. It increases health costs and decreases mental acuity. Why would anyone try to “accept” that? It’s a horrible condition that should be changed, not accepted.
If you want a fun mechanical hobby, take a bike repair class. Bikes are beautiful machines that most people don’t understand. Working on bikes is an absolutely terrible way to meet chicks, but it’s fun to do.
The dating, mating, and business worlds are already so mean to fatties that there’s really no reason to fight against “fat acceptance.” The fight has already been won and will remain won forever.