The game’s endgame and picking up a girl at a private party

Got an invite to a huge private sex party… remember how I wrote, “game can be thought of a little bit like chess in that for good players the first 5 – 10 moves are memorized calls and responses and gamed out… the interesting stuff happens midgame.”? This is an endgame story, making it less valuable than mid-game stories, but I wrote most of it for a private group, so I figured I’d tell the rest…

At the party, I talked to a gorgeous, short girl who used to be a high-end escort and probably had income that put her in the 99%… not a great conversationalist or was on drugs… some other things about her stood out but are too private to share… asked for kiss when she left, and she said “maybe later.” In normal dating asking for the kiss is a bad move, but in this environment it’s the way to go.

Did an MFM with a couple I know… read Yoylo for an MFM example story… I have also laid out a threesome bluepint… this one happened because I’ve known them both for years… she is a solid 7… he is probably a male 8… he finds it hard to find the right women, and they are put together well. He’s had some of mine before, so it’s all good… I have spoken many times about reciprocity and balanced equation, and our equations are well-balanced. There is not a “game” story here… or if there is, it is buried in the years… we are all casual friends who spent some time catching up, then had a theeway. Very intense one, too. Whatever “game” was involved happened long ago.

Much later, I was about to leave and crash, but I saw this girl and had to say hi to her… so I got to chatting with this chick and she had great vibes, nice but not astonishing face, and just the best body. 25 or so… we chatted for a while and she noticed my paddle… asked if I would spank her… of course, baby… we found our way to a more private back area, away from the crowds, and she was so cute (great, top level super feminine energy) and responsive. Some spanking/paddling, light choking/hair pulling… things moved fast and she was broadcasting horniness… so I kept going forward, checking in with her at appropriate places… and wow. I didn’t think I could rise to the occasion but did it (sometimes verbalizing “I’m not sure I can have sex again” helps me relax into it), and sex with her was amazing… amazingly fun. Time between “Hi” and f**king was… 20 minutes? 30 minutes? I don’t know. It was almost too fast, even for me… I think she’d been marinating in the environment and socializing for a long time and yet hadn’t been approached, or properly approached (later I found out that she knew a guy there, a friend of friend, who had been chasing her, but she wasn’t into him). Or, right girl, right time? I want to give her an 8 due to her body just being packed in all the right ways and feeling fantastic but probably a high 7. Everything about her felt and seemed right. Instant chemistry is rare. She seemed almost grateful to have me inside her, which is a turn-on. Hope she comes out… we talked about that, but she might be an “in the moment” girl who disappears later. I hope not.

Like I said, it happened almost too fast… I wanted more time to play with her body, to get to know her, but her sex temperature was so high that I felt I couldn’t not. We talked about some logistical things… “feminine energy” isn’t discussed as much as it should be. Hers was off the charts. She was like crack. Other girls should take lessons in feminine energy and sounds from her. F**king her was great. She reminded me of Short Dancer, and it has been years since I have felt that way.

Did not see the former sex worker 9 again.

I’m also a re/tard in some ways… my stated goals are different than what I pursued last night, so there’s that.

I wasn’t going to turn this into a blog post at first, cause I don’t think there’s anything new to learn from it… but then I realized that that is the lesson… I’ve been building ecosystem/connections for many years, and staying in pretty good shape, and it came together. Maybe I could point out that even s**ts often want to know the guy/guys they’re sleeping with… more often than not they do… the first woman came around not because I was a random but because I wasn’t. Overall I think I’ve contributed more value to the community than I’ve taken from it, and that was reflected in the private sex party. It was reflected in the invite itself. It was reflected in the people I knew there. It was reflected in the fact that I knew how to be once I was there, and knew where to flirt and where not to. Where to push forward and where to hang back. The interesting things happen in the midgame… but this was the end game… the value had already been built. The reputation was in place. The beautiful 8 hadn’t been approached, or properly approached, and she was ready, so I went for it… I was wandering through the orchard and spotted what might be a ripe fruit… I climbed up… checked it out… turned out to be ripe… and it was good. I had the skills she wanted, and she… well, she had what I wanted. The fruits of the network.

Tried not to drink too much and succeeded… exhausted the next day… I feel a little too old for this shit in some ways to be honest. I still feel kinda off track… my forebrain and hindbrain continue to disagree… am I turning into a chick or something? Hope not.

This FR is late game…. it’s about the building of value and discovery and connections over many years. Very few guys can just walk into something like this… you have to know the players involved. The mid-game for this kind of thing can be read in detail here… if your version of the book is more than six months old, get the latest one, because I’ve been updating it in response to other guys’s questions and observations… thanks to other guys who have sent me their learning and their field reports… they have made the book better/stronger than it would have been otherwise. FRs that deal only with the first couple interactions with a woman often aren’t interesting because they’re pretty well gamed out. FRs that cover end game, like this one, often aren’t interesting because there’s not a lot of value building or practice taking place… the value building took place in the past. I’d learned to be in the right place at the right time with the right attitudes and that was rewarded. This is a study about reaping wheat, not about growing it (much harder to grow than to reap, or to eat the food made from the wheat). I was surprised by the girl at the end and the speed with which it happened. But the conditions for that had been created over many years. I’ve had this happen before… but this girl was just f**kin hot, and she’s relatively to new to the scene/community. In some ways I got lucky, but you know how the harder you work, the luckier you seem to get? It’s like that.

Magnum has different FMF report too.

Guys building a big non-monogamy ecosystem

A player I know has discovered a coven of group sex and open relationship people near him. Some of the players are quite wealthy and have oriented their lives around this activity, buying yachts and getting hotel rooms and pimping out their living spaces to make it all happen (the yacht thing isn’t necessary, but I guess it’s a nice touch if you have the cash… I don’t, and I don’t really move in those circles… though I know they exist… so don’t get caught up in that side alley, whining about income). The player almost can’t believe this thing exists, but I can believe it because I have seen versions of it. Non-monogamy and sex clubs become an ecosystem. It’s possible to rack up incredible numbers through this, if it is a guy’s goal to do so.

Let me try to explain it, from my interactions… I have been at the periphery of this kind of thing, and sometimes the center, but have not been interested in going all the way, into making this the sole and entire focus of my non-work life. A lot of the guys at the top, doing penthouses and boats, are quite a bit older and as a result are not with the chicks who most interest me, but that is not universally true. These guys (and some women)….

* Go to clubs/events most weekends, or on vacations. There’s an international circuit of people doing this.

* Network with the people they meet. It’s not that much different than business networking except it’s more emotional and obviously instead of business relationships you are probing, establishing, and maintaining sex relationships. The social aspect of this is important and easy to do poorly. Outsiders think you just show up, bang/mate, then separate, like lizards or something. Not really, not if you’re doing it well, and outside of pornography sex has emotional or psychological components (most of the time).

* For guys who want younger/hotter chicks, the trick is finding them. They do show up… they are just uncommon and in demand, obviously. Guys can maintain decent sexual value into their 40s and even early 50s, if they want. For most women, SMV begins to drop seriously at 30, and almost all by 35. Supply-demand is real.

* When you have more girls than you can handle (it happens) and are friends with more couples than you can handle, you begin doing parties as the logical next step. Many activities have “levels,” with the advanced levels being occluded from novices and even intermediates. For parties, a guy might know six eight ten twelve interested people, sometimes more, invite them over and suddenly you are the host and you have the status that comes with being the organizer. Leaders have status… it’s polite to thank the host. The host need above-average emotional intelligence, which is lacked by most many guys.

* If you have the money and space to host great parties people will like you better. Chicks are super sensitive to environment and emotional cues, while most guys will happily f**k hot chicks in any available conditions. Dirty sheets, plates in the sink, whatever, guys will happily f**k a hot chick who will bend over there. Chicks are much more attuned to lighting, cleanliness, mood, etc. So if you can just buy the booze and weed, set up the mirrors / beds, get superior lighting (Philips Hue, don’t cheap out here if you can avoid it), etc., then people will be more likely to want to attend your things. So hosting can be the next step, for guys who are established in the community and have a female partner who is aligned with the guy.

* Really rich guys will buy boats, penthouse apts, penthouse hotel rooms, etc. It’s not necessary (you don’t need to be wealthy to do this), but these guys are out there.

You don’t need to be wealthy, but renting space, arranging things, etc., can cost money. So I don’t want to imply that it’s easy for poor guys to do this. Overall, most guys aren’t determined to maximize the amount of sex they have, and you can tell as much from their behavior. Most people can’t connect what they say with what they do… the successes in this world almost always can (or have lucky genetics).

The chicks who have these fantasies and desire these things will like guys who can activate their fantasies and execute them in a safe and controlled environment. Most chicks also need aftercare, etc. They want to bond, not just be sex toys who are going to be discarded after the event. Many guys wrongly neglect aftercare, cuddling, etc. Guys need to do a LOT of things right, here, if they are to get in and stay in. Listen to chicks and you will learn that many guys do basic things wrong. Aftercare is one example I’m thinking about right now. Read through Red Quest and you will come across many others.

Some other things about this big ecosystem…

* Chicks vary in their propensity to engage…. some are super scared, some are pretty eager. Find the eager ones and reassure the scared ones. Obviously a lot of chicks have group sex fantasies, are curious about how other people f**k, etc., but will not explore those without guys to guide them. Be that guy and find other guys who are non-judgmental and encouraging. Some girls can be converted over time.

* If you fully enter and connect to this world you might be astonished by the fact that it is larger than you know, though most people are smart enough not to advertise they’re into it, since the social judgment is too intense. Smart chicks know that their sexual reputation is linked to their ability to marry high-income men, so they don’t want to be known, in most cases, as a girl who does these things, because that will impact their ability to marry and have children, when they want those things. You’ll also find business connections in the places you might not expect to find them. Things that start about business often end up being about sex… and things that start about sex often end up being about other things, like business. People are made to network with others who share common interests. God can be a common interest in churches… sex can be a common interest… and people who form sex communities often trust each other and therefore want to do business together too.

* The people in this world are pretty discriminating, especially when it comes to guys. Many more guys want to get in it than chicks. Even guys who think they want to get in, typically can’t handle it. Getting into this world requires people in both sexes who can handle it. Lots of people (guys included) form quick emotional attachments to their sex partners and then want to monopolize those partners… even if they fantasize about this world, it doesn’t work. People who are doing events will monitor newcomers for negative and positive traits and guys (or chicks) who can’t handle it will not be invited into the higher tiers of things. Sufficiently badly behaved people will be booted, although this is rare. Sex clubs are much smaller world than conventional bars, and word about badly behaved people will get around fast, leading to doors that swing shut.

In life you are always being judged and always proving yourself.

Real question is…… eventually……. how do you want to live your life?

Most people who learn about this world discover they do not want to spend their lives immersed in it. Just like most guys seem to have about four to five good years in the game… but the people who do keep it up can have experiences few others do.

This no doubt sounds like a lot of work, but… a lot of work compared to what? I know people, even employed people, who spend 20+ hours per week on video games and Instagram, etc. Is this a worse hobby? Think about the things people you know do when they’re not working… is this better? Worse? Would you rather be f**king or leveling up your level 29 wizard? Would you rather be getting beers with “friends” from the office or f**king a hot chick?

These things are not very compatible with very young child family life, and a lot of people with kids are too tired to pursue them. As the kids get older it becomes more possible to pursue them but most people in western countries let themselves go, get fat, and get outcomes consistent with their weight, fatness, lifestyle, and sugar intake.

A lot of guys with high numbers also don’t have consistently high quality, so there’s that.

Some guys spend a lot of time building up their non-monogamy ecosystem and once the machine starts, it purs along. I’m trying to help guys get started and to understand the underlying principles at work. I think the book does that well.

Don’t ask for nudes. Don’t be pleased if you get them too soon.

Don’t ask for nudes. Don’t be pleased if you get them too soon. I’ve come to realize getting nudes is only a good sign if they arrive after I’ve f**ked her… then the nudes say, “There’s more of this coming your way and I want to entice you.” If she sends them beforehand I seem to be further away from f**king her (and I might never).

Why? I’m not 100% sure, but some chicks appear to substitute nudes for actual f**king. It’s worse if the guy asks…. or so girls tell me… asking for nudes seems to be a demonstration of lower value (DLV) and hot girls are bombarded with requests from low-value guys. I don’t have a strong theory about why this appears to be true, just observation. Some people now seem to prefer masturbatory stimulation to real live sex. Maybe I’m just old school but that’s not me. I’m also old-school enough to not have spent my adolescence and young adulthood watching hours of HD Internet porn every day. In my formative years, we had pics and some video, sure, but the bulk of sexual activity and stimulation had to occur live and in person.

Dexter speculates

My guess is if a woman she sends an explicit pic to you before f**king she thinks to herself

” shit…I sent this guy a nude so if we meet he’ll be expecting sex right off the bat ”

It takes away her plausible deniability.

That’s a fine theory… others may be constructed. Mr. V daygame said,

You forget that woman and men speak a different language. A guy wants pics of tits, a girl doesn’t want pics of dicks. That’s a clear example how men and woman are seduced differently

I only send them if the woman specifically asks for them (some do)… I don’t think a woman has ever asked for pics or videos before she’s had sex with me… after sex, she has a narrative and experiences to connect the visuals to. If she coyly asks I might say, “So you want me to send you nudes.” Again, I’m pretty sure this only ever happens after we’ve f**ked for a while. The story and experiences makes them valuable to her, in a way random guys aren’t. Without the story, they’re just another random guy’s body, and women can see male bodies, even very nice ones, any time they want.

Let me clarify… I am not against nudes at all and have shot thousands of them, almost all of them post sex, when the woman is very much in my frame and flooded with positive emotions and openness after being f**ked. A lot of women who are happy to pose right after being f**ked will later ask that they be deleted. A note for students of female psychology. Answers as to what this means can be posted in the comments.

A very nice camera is now as little as a couple hundred dollars… I remember the first reasonably priced DSLR, the Canon Rebel, that cost $999 or $1199 with lens, I believe. We live in a different world.

If she sends you nudes, try to get her on a date with good logistics as soon as possible. If you can’t get her on the date, she’s seeking attention and that’s it. I’m not in it for attention or for pictures… I’m in it for the physical pleasure and the psychological, spiritual, and physical connection… that’s where the good stuff is.

Guys who really want to get laid, focus on the things/behaviors/strategies that lead in that direction, and ignore other things. Asking for nudes is not a good step on the route to getting laid. I think a lot of guys reading and chatting online are not truly into getting laid.

Women don’t think that women can make adult decisions and be held accountable for those decisions

Years ago I worked with and sometimes supervised a college-age intern. She was into me for what I assume to be the usual reasons… she initiated the flirting and while I flirted back, I stay somewhat reserved in work settings. While I stand by what I wrote in If you are not a pussy you will do better than most guys: ‘When Women Pursue Sex, Even Men Don’t Get It and argue that men should be more aggressive and direct, it’s also unwise and unnecessary to fuck where you earn.

I slept with this one at the end of her time, and I didn’t actually fuck her until she was done with the internship, and as far as I know we enjoyed some good times. It was an easy, fun lay and she was also extremely petite and extremely tight. She was mobile and moved out of my geographic area, and when she got back I tried to re-engage, but she said a hard “no.”

We’d stayed Facebook friends since then and while Facebook is a waste of time I do use it occasionally… usually to set up hookups or arrange real-world meetings. A year or two ago I happened to see a post about a career milestone for this girl (although I think she’s going in the wrong direction, I’ve not been asked my opinion so I shut the fuck up about it). In the post she wrote about her career decisions and her relationship . . . with an older guy . . . who “took advantage” of her when she was younger. I’m omitting some details, but I realized she is definitely talking about me.

She wrote that I had taken advantage of her vulnerability and used age and wisdom to become intimate with her. She also wrote that I had betrayed her trust in me. She was the active participant in seducing me and I recall what she was like in bed (eager, happy, seemingly satisfied or faking it well).

Our relationship did end in a somewhat untidy way and she got lost in the shuffle because I was f**king a couple other girls at the time, and she left the area pretty quickly. One day during that time I was supposed to meet her for coffee and as I walked in I saw my #1 girl already sitting at the window! I hadn’t properly prepped either for non-monogamy, so I had to run and make some unfortunate and very lame excuses; part of the angry girl’s reaction is probably due to my own hectic schedule at the time, and I should rightfully have done a better job of setting expectations, boundaries, etc. I wasn’t as good at that as I am now, or I just hadn’t had time to.

The aggrieved tone of her post is ridiculous and she is claiming the mantle of victimhood as if that’s something to admire. That woman (and she is now really a woman, not a girl) doesn’t think that women are capable of making adult decisions for themselves. Like a lot of “feminists.” For her, anything women do that they later regret is something that happened due to “emotional vulnerability” or “manipulation” or some such other nonsense. Women like this one are arguing, without realizing it, that women are children and shouldn’t be culpable for their actions and choices. Regret something? It’s a man’s fault.

I actually disagree with that view, but I’ve heard enough women express it to stop me… and make me think… what if those women are right?

There are a handful of women in public who want women to be held to the same levels of accountability and rationality that men are. They don’t buy into the SJW worldview. They are just… rare. But a lot of other women think that women can’t be trusted to make their own sexual decisions. Feminists want to treat women like children. Sometimes I think, “Maybe feminists are right, given the female propensity to rewrite the past to fit present circumstances.” There is an epidemic of reframing consensual encounters as non-consensual, like that chick.

Here’s the other thing that I think plays into these problems… a lot of women from around the age of puberty up to age 22 or 24 don’t properly and truly understand the incredible sexual power they have over men. Or how powerfully and profoundly they excite men. Many men will go to almost any length for sex with them. This kind of power is enormous and it cannot be learned to be wielded correctly in a short period of time. Women experimenting with their sexual power are often surprised by how powerful it is. They are also sometimes surprised by the intensity of their own sexual response in the moment. But our society simultaneously tells women that they are oppressed and that men are bad guys. Enormous power + rhetoric about how she’s not responsible for herself = bad things.

Holly Madison Reveals The Hell That Is Playboy Mansion Life. Now, I don’t doubt that life in the Playboy Mansion was torpid and boring for the girls (how could it not be?). But Holly Madison got fame and a place on TV and rescued from her own inept life choices by nothing more than her beauty. After the fact, she’s pissed off about it and doubts her own ability to consent. She thinks she can’t be responsible for her own decisions… just like the former intern.

What women will think if men start taking them at their word? That women can’t be trusted to be consistent in their own decisions?

 

Pacing and seduction

Pacing in seduction is tricky. It’s bad to hurry her excessively but it’s also bad to be lazy. Don’t be too languid either. You want enough energy to generate some heat but not so much that you’re panting after her like a dog. A lot of chicks, maybe all of them, know guys who, with the slightest hint of interest, go from 0 to 100 in terms of attention and demands. A frenzy of interest that turns the chick off.

Just being able to take your time at almost any stage of the process sets you apart from the competition. Being able to read her and read social cues is rare when it should be common. No one teaches these things so guys have to learn on our own.

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A random thought from twitter: “When you push far enough, almost everything we do is a cover for lust and a way to push those genes into the next generation.” Including work, school, etc.

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The central innovation I have offered is pretty clear, although I don’t think it’s for most guys. Talking to the guys who have been trying these techniques has been clarifying and I have added a lot to the book, refining it too, because of these conversations. I’m trying to distil 10 – 11 years of experience. Some high highs, some low lows. A lot of my game I’ve stumbled into accidentally, so I’m trying to help guys think deliberately about what they can do, if they want to do some of the things I have done. I have learned a lot from the players writing online… I want to give a little bit back.

“The stripper with the sugar daddy”

The stripper with the sugar daddy” is my version of the title… let’s be real here, she’s no computer scientist… she does have a typical alpha/beta boyfriend dynamic going on, though… “I’m leery of his avoidant attachment style but, like my weekend shifts at the club, the promise of pleasure lures me back again and again,” the usual, honey…

I’m also beginning to realize I’m torn between A and B. B is reliable, empathetic, open, everything I am not used to in men — but deep down I know I am not as into him as he is into me. I find myself drawn to the 10,000-piece puzzle that is A. Even though he is evasive and maddeningly frustrating, I realize that I am in love with him.

It’s like reading red pill fan fic… the boring guy is too boring for her, the exciting guy is exciting because he’s unreliably available. With A, there’s a little “accident,”

We go back to his place and fuck passionately for hours, in every position. I love making you come, he whispers, kissing the back of my neck. When he’s about to finish he asks, can I come in you, but I hear, can I come on you, and tell him of course. I am shocked when I feel myself getting filled with something. It’s been a long time since I let someone do that, for me it’s as intimate as it is risky.

B, however,

sends me a link to a playlist he’s made. I listen to it before work and realize it’s a love letter. I am flooded with conflicting emotions. He knows I dance and thinks its “fucking badass,” which is a rarity; he’s a feminist, a real one. We are compatible on so many levels but there is something missing for me.

She likes him but is an avoidant type herself… so B’s statements of attraction to her turn her off… while A’s distance turns her on. Different types women of women will be turned on by different things. This is not a chick who likes comfort or needs much of it. This is a chick who likes wild uncertainty. The more sexually open and fluid she is, the more likely she is to be turned on by game playing, hot-cold, push-pull, etc. Know your audience.

Finishing inside is a universal path to intimacy and connection, however.

 

 

Brief one about limited interactions at a sex party

Went to another closed sex party Saturday night, and as I began to write this I thought back on The Tom Torero lay report book, “Below the Belt”, “Should you read it? I dunno. If you want more lay reports, then sure. If you’ve already read a bunch of them, as I have, then I don’t know if it’s that useful. They do get repetitive, and that sense of repetition may be part of what’s making me thinking about the next part of my life.” Same thing here, cause a lot of the older sex club reports (the ones I didn’t write cause I wasn’t writing then) would look like this one… went to the party that some friends were hosting. Maybe 100 people there total? Enjoyed it overall and chatted with some people. Not a lot of really good looking girls there, but three or four 7+s were around. Had a couple with a hot girl offer a swap, so that was fun. Declined it, though. Precedent: don’t want to go there right now.

Sex parties, lots of people f**king together in the same space, it’s just very… stimulating. Stimulating in a way impossible to explain without experiencing it. The group dynamic makes everyone f**k better, improves focus, offers encouragement. There’s an undercurrent of feeling that we’re all getting one over on societal rules… that feeling players know… but it’s present here as well. Even if you don’t interact too much with other people, it can be a fun place. The stimulation is there even without f**king another woman. I’ve actually transacted a bit of business at these events, too, cause you never know who’s going to be at them. I’ve seen couples who go regularly but never go beyond touching or kissing other people. They get some of their jollies from the environment, without wanting to risk their primary relationship. Compared to the typical getting drunk and being bored and then being hung over the next day, this is a big improvement. Everyone wants to f**k anyway… better to skip the pretense.

There were a few too many fat chicks for my taste, and more shifty guys than I would have liked, if you know what I mean. Wasn’t enough to make me leave, but I noted it. There was also a small cute girl there who I’ve met before but who has the glassy-eyed, thousand-cock stare that I’m not a fan of. I’m sure some hater guys who have never been think all the chicks there are like that, but that’s not been my experience… most of them have a pretty well-integrated sexuality, a sexuality that their forebrain and hindbrains agree with, and that prevents the vacant look of women who use sex or their bodies for attention, as transactions, etc. This one… I can’t place her. Have not been inside her but have thought about having a go. Something seems a little off about her, and that plus wanting to establish good precedent holds me back. I also need to be congruent. If I am not congruent in what I think I should be doing and what I do, that is going to f**k me up.

Saturday morning I also went out for coffee with my date, and there was a couple sitting across from us. Struck up a bit of a conversation over something, can’t remember what… I found the girl unbelievably sexy, but I’m not sure why exactly… something about the way she moved, or her vibe. The pants she was wearing, somewhere between yoga pants and sweatpants, just made her ass look fantastic. The guy was more interesting than average too. They both looked like they’d just rolled out of bed. Probably won’t go anywhere, but the old ways and habits die hard. I dropped a strategic drug reference in, and that went over well. I get the vibe from them, probably because I really want to get the vibe.

It also appears that Torero has killed his whole online presence, so if you want the book, speak up and maybe it will find its way to you.