Most guys don’t care much about getting laid, I hypothesize

THE GAME comes out in 2005, MYSTERY METHOD a year later. A bunch of pickup blogs show up then too, almost all abandoned since, and sometimes descending into madness and/or conspiracy theories along the way. Few guys have any desire to write about pickup and chicks for more than a few years, and the ones who do are often, or usually, unbalanced, or nuts in some other way(s).[1] It’s important to have coolness and status before trying to evangelize or teach, yet the most prominent and least anonymous guys appear to have neither. Most are the kind of guys I’d want to avoid, not the kind who I’d want to get a drink and chat with. 

A few years ago (2015) the book MATE: BECOME THE MAN WOMEN WANT, by Geoffrey Miller and Tucker Max, also came out, but it didn’t seem to make a splash. In a major occasion on par with the moon landing, Red Quest as a blog is founded in 2017, its initiation commemorated by a massive, 10-ten granite ziggurat next to the Washington Monument in DC. Red Quest’s readership peak is 2019, as of this writing, although you never know, maybe some feminist tweeters will come along to denounce me, and thus drive up traffic.[2] Most people who find their way here from twitter or reddit, belong to twitter or reddit, prefer corporate media, and aren’t much interested in other venues. They’ve been captured by the big-tech borg. Some people complain about centralization of power among big tech companies, but the vast majority of people’s actions show preference for big centralized platforms, not for decentralized, censorship-resistant efforts (describing what seems to be true is not the same as approving of a thing that seems to be true).

What’s going on? Knowledge about how to do better with chicks is available, but few guys seems to avail themselves of it. Chicks themselves are not out there talking about the excessive number of socially smooth, interesting, and cool guys who are seducing them. If anything, chicks are complaining about how cold it is to meet guys through online dating, and how they wish guys would approach them in real life. Chicks are lonely, bored, and understimulated, by their own admission. Memes about funny cats go viral, ideas about how to get laid, don’t. I post that most guys just don’t care that much about getting laid, and even the ones who somewhat care, don’t care or care much about figuring out how to do so effectively. The information itself has been around for at least a decade and a half, probably longer, and it’s still very niche.

Some guys still seem to think that doing better with chicks is simply impossible: and yet the guys who practice the game demonstrate otherwise. Or maybe most guys really aren’t picky, and are okay dating a few points below themselves. They perceive the mountain to be too high, and go back to the Shire of video games. I know a coach who says his clients think a same-day lay (SDL) is impossible, because it’s so far out from their idea of what’s possible.

Overall, it’s not like men are better at getting laid via some other avenue. Men seem to be getting laid less than they did a few years back, which is also consistent with the “most guys don’t care much” thesis. You’ve probably seen the graphs showing that the number of guys in their teens / 20s who have gone without sex in the last year has something like doubled, or maybe a bit more, from like 8% to like 22%, in the last ten to twelve years:

Number of video gamers and herbivores seems to be going up, which is I guess kind of nice from a “competition” level, but existentially depressing from a societal and cultural level. Maybe one day humanity goes extinct cause the video games are too good. Maybe the effort and subtlety needed to master the art of seduction is too great. Most guys have returned to an oral-first culture, and thus the extensive written corpus about how to get laid lies fallow, for want of readers. In a similar human puzzle, Why aren’t there more computer science majors? It’s probably the most lucrative undergrad degree, and highly impactful on the average person’s life (the average person spends an unbelievable number of hours per day on the phone, which is another way of saying, “Doing things CS majors produce”). Lots of people go to college, get worthless degrees, and spend the next decade plus paying back “student” loans that can’t be discharged via normal means like bankruptcy. Weird! I hypothesize most people aren’t smart enough to do computer science degrees but maybe there are other reasons. Most guys are smart enough to implement the rudimentary parts of game, however, they just don’t. Maybe guys are just lazy?

Some of the guys who download and read the book probably don’t do anything with its ideas right away, but a planted seed may sprout years down the line. Could be that “time” is a key element for ideas to spread. But ideas from THE GAME and such have had a long time to spread, and seem not to have. Video game ideas, by the contrast, appeal to many millions.

There seemed to be a lot of energy in the pickup and seduction worlds in the ’00s and early ’10s. Where’d it go? Guys in their 20s don’t seem to be writing about seduction and dating experiences (if I’m missing guys who are, let me know). Maybe, today, being in good shape, a male high 7, and having okay pictures of a guy looking buff and hiking or whatever, is enough to snare high 6s and some 7s off dating apps, so the drama of cold approach and bar seduction isn’t needed. The process is a little smoother, its terrifying peaks and valleys and storms smoothed into a neater, more manicured path. Meanwhile the guys playing video games and getting fat are mostly out of the game altogether, or get women consistent with their lives. A guy who gets frustrated enough with his underperforming sex life will find his way to the knowledge he needs, while a guy who is fundamentally content with underperformance, won’t. 

It may also be that most guys interested in and writing about seduction are fundamentally unappealing or crazy, a point elaborated in, “The most stridently asserted opinions will disappear down the memory hole.”  I look at most of the guys writing about player blogs and they do not seem cool to me, and many of them say and tweet crazy things that will repel normal people, or reasonable people. So it’s hard to separate the crazy opinions on various topics from the reasonable, but slightly unconventional, views on how sex and dating actually work.  

Maybe this sort of thing will always be of interest to only a small group, for some other reason I’m not aware of. Maybe I’ve not plumbed the psychology of man sufficiently to discern it. I think I’d imagined that Red Quest as a blog would be more enticing: more efficient, and often effective, ways of getting copiously laid. Even if most guys aren’t interested in undertaking these practices, I imagined they’d be interested in or curious about them. They’re powerful tools, however unusual.

I don’t have much of a conclusion. Whatever makes ideas popular, does not appear to apply to guys figuring out how to get laid.


[1]The last year and a half have been revealing. I’ve speculated in private that I think this universe is self-limiting, because the accurate and useful ideas about, for example, picking up chicks, are often swirled together with a bunch of other off-putting, inaccurate, and widely disliked ideas: a bunch of anti-social people discussing social skills.
[2]If you know any, direct them here, so they can denounce. Ten years ago, it seemed like pickup artists and such were regularly denounced online and in the media, and now, no one does. It seems the culture wars have moved on. By the way, we lost, at least in terms of numbers and attention.

Where do your ideas come from? Doing things, going places

A guy emails to ask, how do I write so much? Where do I get ideas? Three tiers, in descending order of importance…

* Experiences. What have I done, how did I do it, what did I learn from it. These can be negative ones, too… how did I fail, why did I fail, what did I learn from it. The best, most intersting guys are reporters. They go out, see/do things, report back on what they find. Scientists do the same, in a way… they try something, see if it works, if it works, great, if it doesn’t, why not? What can we learn about the natural world from the thing working, or not working?

Experiences generate stories, and many guys have trouble on dates or with general socializing because they don’t do much: they watch TV, play video games, scroll social media.  When someone asks, “What have you been up to?” the honest answer is “nothing much.” A better answer is “climbing a mountain” “experimenting with MDMA” “learning how to grow herb using LED lights, come over for dinner some time” “went to a concert with this chick.” A lot of guys struggle with talking to chicks because the guy has nothing interesting to say, because he doesn’t do much, or he hasn’t learn to say it in an interesting way.

* Conversations. Post enough about experiences and you might catch the attention of other interesting people. A chunk of the sex club book came from Nash questions or observations. He wanted to know about jealousy, so a comment turned into a post. XBTUSD has written a group of posts, after he left some intersting comments, and I encouraged him to start a blog of his own… instead he wrote a group of posts about his experiences. He’s asked some questions or made some observations that led me to posts. If you’re having conversations in direct messages, emails, or chat apps, keep an ear open for ideas. Breeze has also precipitated some ideas, especially around drug use (not a specialty of mine but having experimented I understand better why normal guys who get laid partake).  Continue reading “Where do your ideas come from? Doing things, going places”

The most stridently asserted opinions will disappear down the memory hole

The most stridently asserted opinions will disappear down the memory hole.

Remember all the hydroxychloroquine (HCQ) truthers from a few months ago? The ones who no longer exist, or seem to exist? The ones who had all the answers six months ago?

I know, I barely remember them either, and probably none of the people who were confidently pitching it do. But I wonder and you should too, “What are they stridently asserting today?” Should we believe it? Why?

What should we take from this episode? I haven’t seen any of the voices who were confidently and wrongly asserting that HCQ or this thing or that thing (vitamin c! no, d!) is a magic bullet, talk about how they were wrong, why they were wrong, and most importantly what will change in the future.

Continue reading “The most stridently asserted opinions will disappear down the memory hole”

“Truths About The Red Pill, Seduction And Why RP May Actually Be Hurting Your Success With Women.”

Truths About The Red Pill, Seduction And Why RP May Actually Be Hurting Your Success With Women.” It’s a post from a game blog I’ve only recently heard of. Don’t believe everything you read, but it’s an interesting post. He also links to a post I wrote and submitted to Reddit, “Ride a motorcycle—for fun, transport, and dating.” A lot of the Reddit commentary was in fact bitchy and missed the point.

Notice how most guys are risk, adverse? They’re Alpha type guys (supposedly) but are afraid to get on a bike. Yes. It’s dangerous. Yes. It’s exhilarating. And it’s this exact quality of doing dangerous shit, getting into trouble and exploring the world that women fucking LOVE.

They love it.

But for the most part, it’s the artists that are able to live this type of life. Mr Tough Guy is probably not going to enjoy risk as much as the artist.

Only thing I disagree with here is that motorcycles are much less dangerous than commonly assumed. I don’t ride on highways and am very conservative on it. Young, high-risk guys are attracted to motorcycles, making the data on them highly skewed.

Chicks LOVE going for motorcycle rides, especially on an electric bike with lots of torque. Chicks find being on the motorcycle… stimulating… for the reasons you would expect. It’s a good idea to find a 4 – 10 mile route, with a good stop-off point halfway to two-thirds through. Stop there, take a kiss break while she’s revved up from the ride, resume home.

He also has a memoir-type post, recounting his journey.