Another Ms. Slav update

Part I, and then Part II. A lot has happened with her. We have been to more sex clubs and have even been on a date with one of my lovers and her guy. On that date Ms. Slav had sex with three people over the age of 30, so that is impressive.

She feels alienated from people her own age, which makes sense. She reads a lot of books, thinks a lot, but also has a very high libido (maybe not as high as Libido Girl, but very high). She said something interesting: if she is having a lot of sex, she gets hornier, but if she’s not, she gets less horny. Other women have made similar comments. It’s part of female sexuality being more reactive than proactive, I think. I’m the opposite: when I’m having a lot of sex, it’s good (don’t get me wrong), but I’m less compelled to seek it out. When I haven’t been having much sex, then I get ridiculously horny and want to seek it. Different systems among different sexes.

At the sex club with Ms. Slav, she’s hot enough that I have my pick of other partners or couples. I have written before that guys who combine some game with non-monogamy see compounding returns. Guys who are known in their area for bringing in hot chicks, in turn get other hot chicks brought to them. I have thought about cooling my involvement in the sex-club scene, but I’m reluctant to throw away the reputation I’ve been built there. For me, that world is now “easy mode.” Ms. Slav and I have a girl we’re seeing mostly together. Originally the girl had a guy she was bringing into the scene, but the guy didn’t want to handle it and she backed off him (this is pretty common). She’ll find another guy, I’m sure, but for the time being she’s been great. Sex has been pretty consistent, in the neighborhood of every other day with either Ms. Slav or The Third (as I’ll call her, although I don’t know if she’ll stick around) or both.

Ms. Slav still has a friend, another 18-year-old, who is making gestures towards the threesome. Not convinced it will happen, but if it does I won’t complain.

I think I am playing the same role for Ms. Slav that Libido Girl played for me. For guys, it is useful to remember that, when it comes to younger hotter chicks, you may be up against guys like me, who can offer chicks crazy shit that they’ve never attempted. With Ms. Slav, I’m the first group sex; the first time she’s used a vibe during sex; the first time she’s used a butt plug; the first time she’s been to a sex party; and probably a couple of other firsts… I’m not sure she will ever go back to normal sex and dating. Her brain is being re-wired.

Unfortunately, I had an old injury flare up this week, so I’ve been in more pain than usual.

Still no IUD in Ms. Slav, although I am gently pushing her towards it. She has an unusually busy schedule, which is a net good, but it, plus some other logistical challenges, have prevented her from getting her IUD put in.

I wish I’d kept better notes along the way, as a bunch of other things have happened… Ms. Slav is among the more extreme girls I’ve introduced to the sex club and party scene, as most girls don’t take to it this fast.

I’ve been trying to get Ms. Slav to ride a regular bike with me, but she’s not much going for that. Still like her, though. Ms. Slav has made dinner for me a couple times, although she doesn’t eat much. This is so rare that I want to note it.

I’ve hit on a few other chicks here and there, nothing to report. My favorite was a chick who was doing some dangerous, crazy shit on a bike, which formed the core of my opener. Got the number but no reply via text or Snapchat. Too bad, as she told me she is a nurse and that she bikes to work for her night shifts. She checked a large number of boxes in a short conversation, but all players know that most leads go to nowhere.

There are also one or two ecosystem things I haven’t written about publicly but which act as an aid in my general game, compared to raw cold approach. It’s not like a famous person or musician or similar, but I think it’s fair to say that one or two things are in place that put the momentum at my back rather than against my face.

That Ms. Slav likes me but isn’t likely to want to convert me to a 1:1 monogamous boyfriend is very attractive to me. I still like her, I still like sex  with her, and yet I cannot find myself fully, 100% into the sex, which is uncommon for me: it might be the condom things. I like being the guy who opens up the door to the place she’s always been seeking, being the guy who offers her the red pill or blue pill, the guy who opens the door into another universe. You might call it the “Wizard” role in the King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine schema, if you like that sort of thing. In my view every guy should read that book, so if you haven’t yet, quit the Internet and go buy a copy. Game tactics and strategy work best if the guy also understands the underlying nature of masculinity, masculine identity, and femininity and feminine identity.

The second open-relationship, non-monogamy girl

A few months ago I wrote about Libido Girl, who opened me up to consensual non-monogamy and the sex club world. With and without her, I probably had sex with 15 – 20 women in the first year we were together. Most weekends we’d go to sex clubs or parties. Sometimes we’d go on dates with other couples. That 15 – 20 number could have been much higher, but we found a core group of 10 – 14 girls and couples we’d see pretty regularly. Just like with regular dating, every person has a finite amount of time and energy. It’s often hard to find the best chicks online because the best chicks, who know what they want and compromise well, get a boyfriend and disappear. They might appear online after breakups or when they move to a new area, but there is a distinct “market for lemons” problem that has become more severe in recent years (in my view).

Libido Girl and I basically maxed out our potential social calendar. We went more than I would naturally. She likely had more action that year than I did, simply because she had the energy and endurance. Towards the end we drifted more apart, which is a hazard of a lot of sex with a lot of different people. Her job situation was not ideal, and solving it involved her moving. Even before she moved, I began doing some online dating. This was in the mid to late 2000s, when online dating worked better (in my view) and chicks were not yet glued to their smartphones. I did well at online dating and upped my photography skills considerably and quickly. I’m also a better writer than most guys and often attract girls who appreciate that.

Flaking and other bad behavior was common then, as it is now, but I went on dates and figured out quickly that I wanted to sleep with a woman a couple of times, then try and get her to go to sex clubs with me. A few of those chicks met Libido Girl. I took one very young, wild, hot, and stupid/flighty girl to a club and she must have fucked half a dozen guys there, of her own volition, then basically ghosted me the next week. Which was fine with me, because it’s important for a pair who go to the sex club to operate as a team; if a girl won’t be a member of the team, she is not a good candidate (another potential subject for a post).

The next girl, let’s call her #2, was not as crazily libidinous as Libido Girl, but she liked sex and was pretty uninhibited about it. She was much less forward and in personality terms she was feminine and giggly. She had nice energy and was another solid 7 or so. She didn’t lead in most things but was happy to follow. She was also very positive, which is good for me, but she did like experimenting with other girls and had a very open mind. I think she was somewhat bored with conventional dating and was 26 when I met her: old enough to have some experience but not yet desperate for kids. As Libido Girl left, Girl #2 moved into her place, and I more or less absorbed her into the friend groups Libido Girl and I had formed. #2 never got into going to the gym with me, but she was young and had good enough genetics for that not to matter at the time.

#2 and I essentially repeated the Libido Girl process: for a year and a couple months we had lots of sex with each other and went to parties and clubs two – three times a month. I probably slept with another 15 – 20 girls during that period. Guys with low partner counts are endlessly interested in numbers, and guys with high partner counts don’t care, and by the time Libido Girl and I were halfway through our partnership I stopped caring about counts, to the extent I ever did. I had figured out how to integrate non-monogamy into my life. Some women ran away from that, but many did not. When a guy truly has “abundance mentality,” getting new women can become easy. I learned it then, or fully internalized it.

Not all the women I slept with were incredibly hot, but none were dogs and all met my own internal quality standards. It was common for couples who were unacceptable to hit on #2 (and me), but we were good at politely turning them down.

By now many of the individual parties and club nights have faded into a blur. I know some people keep records of who they did and so on, but I’m not one of them and prefer to exist in the moment.

The most notable thing about #2 was, to me, how easily she slid into the scene. I have written before that most of my favorite girls didn’t require that much “game” or persuasion. #2 was like that. She was ready to find what I offered her. Things came to end when she wanted to move in with me and get more serious. Which I did not want. At all. Finding the sex-positive and non-monogamous worlds felt like unlocking a superpower.

If I found a girl like #2 today, I might be more susceptible to her arguments and desires. At the time, it felt like the whole world was sexually open to me, in a way that I almost got when I was in college and immediately after, but my skills and mindset hadn’t yet come together properly.