“He was nice but average, unstimulating”

“A few weeks ago, I was staring a strange man in the eyes during an energetic coaching session. I’d met him just a few hours before; like nearly all men I’ve known for a few hours, he was nice but average, unstimulating; I’d introduced myself with a polite handshake and didn’t think much of it.” From this essay. For men, as you’ve read here at Red Quest before, “Boredom = death.” Most men are boring to most women most of the time. Are you ready to be different than most guys?

Probably not.

The essay has other interesting, unusual material, like, “When I was 20, I went on a semi-harrowing OKCupid date and woke up the next morning in my date’s bed. I asked him how did you get me to sleep with you? He shrugged and handed me a book on pickup artistry, and I sat down on his couch and read it. Then I went and read more; I joined pickup artistry forums….” Almost no women ever ask such questions (most women are boring and predictable, but, if they’re young and/or hot, that’s enough… men and women are different). Fewer will accept the answers. Most women hate the idea of men consciously learning and deliberately practicing game, which is a shame, because it leads to better outcomes for them, as women do like being competently seduced. But no one said life, or women, have to make sense, or be consistent. The knowledge about how to be non-average and stimulating is out there, for the guys who want to learn and use it, but most guys prefer being peasants, not wizards.

“The cost of sexual liberation” for women

“The cost of sexual liberation” for women fits right into the player dynamics commonly discussed around here, my favorite bit is…

Meanwhile, the female sexual emancipation Greer pursued has delivered a bonanza for every live-in-the-moment modern-day Dean Moriarty with the looks to enjoy it. In the world of online dating, sex is even more abundant than it was for Dean Moriarty: one twentysomething friend tells me that “photogenic” male friends find female attention so abundant that some are “quite sick of the attention.”

The agency of women is little discussed, of course… if women wanted to, they could choose steady, reliable guys instead of exciting players. They don’t, though, not at least until the “epiphany stage” that Rollo Tomassi writes about. Women love competing for hot, high-status men… any time an individual woman decides not to do that, she’ll avoid the “Dean Moriarty” men (no idea who Dean Moriarty was).

As a young teen I remembered hearing older people say that girls want a “nice, good” guy who will take care of them. This troubled me, because everyday life readily demonstrated that girls liked jerks and jocks (not much has changed between then and now). Guys interested in pickup and being players reconcile what is commonly said about women’s desires with what (and who) real, live women do. Women strongly prefer hot, tall, exciting guys. This is observation, not value judgment. Most of us have seen how women behave around men they find hot.

It’s still (somehow) amazing to me that the top things a guy can do to sleep with more women are work out, practice his social skills, and get a gig like bartending. Hot women prefer buff guys with social skills over the guys building civilization and society. At one point in the development of civilization, I think there was a higher degree of consilience between “guys building civilization and able to care for women and children” and “guys women sleep with.” Today that consilience is mostly absent. That may be bad, but top guys can f**k an unbelievable number of attractive chicks. Speaking of that, I need to go deadlift and do shrugs, stop pussyfooting around on the keyboard. Some chads are born, many are made.

In human sexuality, women are collectively the choosers, men the chosen. Who women choose speaks to them. Every hot woman has a phone full of guys who’ll wife her up, but she doesn’t want them. I’ve been both the guy she wants and the guy she doesn’t. I know which is better.

As men, we can study the mechanism that is female biology and psychology and figure out how to access more of what we want. That is the game. Welcome.

“We expect too much from our romantic partners”

People are getting married later, people are having kids later, some people aren’t marrying at all, lots of people (especially women) who want kids aren’t having them… why? Smart guys know that marriage is a bad deal but many have to learn this the hard way… I’m interested in the deeper reasons, like that we expect too much from our romantic partners.

Old days: the woman’s job was to be faithful, take care of the kids, and put food on the table.

Man’s job: keep a roof over the head. Come home at night.

Today: the job is to be a soulmate, a best friend, a mysterious lover, a catalyst for fulfillment, a spiritual advisor… probably other things… how can this be done? By one person?

“The cat years”

Another super sad spinster story. “The cat years” is depressing… looking at the dark side of life is important… for women, not having a family sets them up for a life that is composed more of misery and missed opportunities than for joy… yet younger women are systematically misled. I have some compassion and pity for spinsters… they messed up and they are an example to other women of what not to do.

“He is exactly the kind of partner a liberated woman is supposed to want, and yet she despises him for it”

I’ve been saying that women are the truest red pillers… now we see an article by a chick, about books written by chicks, that are as red pill as anything comes… it’s about whether a novel can “capture the contradictions of female desire,” but it’s not hard to understand… one just has to remember that chicks are random and also that many chicks don’t want to be accountable for their decisions. Seriously, the chicks writing the novels and the chick writing the article agree with me, just not in the exact framing I use…

Their behavior mystifies them, and they discover that the selective work of authorship can relieve their confusion: if they choose some moments from their past and discard others, if they arrange these moments in just the right way, they might be able to understand themselves as logical and consistent, free of the messy task of figuring out what they want, and the even messier one of fully accepting these wants.

When guys ask women logical questions about the woman’s behavior and don’t get logical answers, that’s often because the woman herself doesn’t know. “Their behavior mystifies them.” One thing most chicks hate, however, is boredom, as we see here.

Of the intervening years, we have learned that she married and abruptly divorced a kale-loving man, a classmate in her grad-school cohort, whom she describes as “nice” and “ever so understanding.” She is mocking him. He is exactly the kind of partner a liberated woman is supposed to want, and yet she despises him for it.

Nice guys are boring. “Liberated” women want what other women want.

Years after her ur-erotic hotel-room encounter, the narrator finds herself in another hotel room, this time with a man she has picked up in the bar downstairs. Her husband is at home and thinks she is away at a job interview or visiting friends; she can’t remember. Alone with the stranger, the narrator tells him that she wants to be dominated. This time she’s articulating her desire, rather than discovering it through someone else’s, and in the act of articulation she can’t help but come face to face with her own agency. But the fantasy itself is for the opposite: “I hate making choices,” she says.

If she wants it, the husband doesn’t matter, the previous agreements don’t matter… all that matters is the moment. The impressive thing is that she says she wants to be dominated. Most women want guys to intuit that, to just know it. But “I hate making choices…” that’s why smart guys minimize the choices chicks need to make. In the old world, the anthropological hunter-gatherer world and then the agricultural world, chicks didn’t have many choices to make. They married who their families, mostly their fathers and brothers, told them to marry. Now we are surprised that a lot of chicks are unhappy to be introduced into the world of intense mating competition and that many chicks are ambivalent about the choices in front of them. Chicks live in the land of maybe, but most guys are never taught this.

Most guys don’t understand what women want during sex, or how to give it to them…

This contrast—of women raring to assert their agency in one context, then willing, even eager, to relinquish it another—captured my interest in part because of its familiarity. I’d seen it crop up recently in widely praised works both written by and featuring brazen, outspoken, and almost always middle-class white women. It’s in Sally Rooney’s “Conversations with Friends,” when Frances tries unsuccessfully to get Nick—older, married, kind—to choke and hit her during sex. And in Rooney’s “Normal People,” when Marianne discloses to gentle, sensitive Connell, her on-again-off-again boyfriend, that another man has hit her with a belt, choked her—that she asked for it, enjoyed it.

Read from the right perspective, this “feminist” article in a feminist magazine about feminist novels tells us more about real chicks than most of the man-hating feminist writing. There are some dysfunctional women who hate men and some dysfunctional men who hate women, but most of all guys need to learn to understand chicks, and then their behavior becomes clearer. Chicks are often like random-number generators, a fact that explains my interactions with many chicks the interactions so many men have with chicks.

This article is great reading for confused guys.

Women are the truest red pillers.

“I Thought I Wanted to Go It Alone” Narrator: “She did not.”

“I Thought I Wanted to Go It Alone,” a woman writes, as if she is a snake or a lizard, rather than a human. Narrator: “She did not.” No one really wants to go it alone… everyone wants to go it with someone like +2 SMV… and if that cannot be achieved… then it’s time to “go it alone” as a pose. Humans are social beings and almost none of us really want to go it alone. When someone says they want to go it alone, male or female, they are almost always posturing.

This woman has the usual delusional woman problems, “What broke my state? A few things, really. I passed 35 and wanted a baby. I fell in love and was mercilessly dumped.” Of course she wanted a baby, no one gives a f**k about their career accomplishments, compared with their family networks… and that goes triply for chicks.  Somehow almost no one among professional women circles talks honestly about this. “Your Professional Decline Is Coming (Much) Sooner Than You Think.” For chicks it’s worse, cause their SMV decline starts around age 30 and accelerates by 35.

Smart chicks understand the fleeting nature of youth and beauty and focus on having a family. They might go through a sexually adventurous and experimental phase lasting a few months to a few years, but they understand that they should have a good route from maidan to mother to crone. It’s not hard, and most chicks’s grandmas could probably tell them what to do.

I should stop posting this kind of shit… there’s so much of it… yet delusion is kind of fascinating… I think the best players understand delusion pretty well.

“First swingers clubs,” from a player in a forum

“First swingers clubs“… a guy named Sailors Grave writes in the good looking loser forum. The content is average and there is nothing ground-breaking in his field report, but apart from black dragon he’s the first example I’ve seen of a player talking about swinging and sex parties.

I stumbled onto it by accident but it’s so unusual to find a player speaking to this domain that I’m linking it up. Have you seen other players figure this out?

“Why 16? Who do age of consent laws really protect” A dangerous story, too

There’s a story in the second half of this one……. about me turning tail and running.

Why 16? Who do age of consent laws really protect. Rare to see these ideas questioned, because they serve two groups’s interests: older women voters and parents. Obviously older women parents really see their interests served, but fathers don’t want to watch their daughters make typical re/tarded romantic decisions and get pregnant by charming older players. Charming teen players are bad enough. Throw in experienced seducers with teen girl morons and the teen girls risk pregnancy, heartbreak, etc., while their parents risk having to mop up the mess.

Parents don’t give a shit about abstract arguments regarding right, wrong, consistency, etc. That shit’s for the philosophers. Parents just want their daughters to be less likely to get pregnant, get STIs, become dick drunk, etc. Don’t underestimate the power of the last one… if you are a player you’ve seen chicks go out of their minds with desire, at least temporarily, and a decent number of dads remember women who went crazy with love/lust. They want to avoid that condition in teen girls if at all possible. Don’t think your arguments about reason, autonomy, women being their own bosses, etc. are going to persuade the parents who have to deal with seduction’s aftermath. Adult women have a hard enough time, as we can see from the number of women bearing children out of wedlock.

Plus… women who are over the age of 18 and especially over the age of 25/30 can’t effectively compete with younger chicks. How do you avoid competition? Outlaw the possible competitors. 

“Rich Like Me: How Assortative Mating Is Driving Income Inequality”

“Rich Like Me: How Assortative Mating Is Driving Income Inequality.” Women with sufficiently high views of themselves also often push themselves out of the mating market altogether. Plenty of spinsters don’t realize that men and women value different things, on average, in the mating market.

But I think there is more to the article than this… I have also said in various places that I want a woman who functions in the world, beyond sex. If she is out of school age and has no job or a marginal job… I am not that interested in a long-term thing with her because she’s revealing that she’s likely f**ked up in some way. Not what I’m looking for in a co-parent or longer-term partner. So I’m driving income inequality in that way.

“Female youth and beauty is the most valuable commodity in the world.” This is why chicks without youth and beauty are so unhappy… nothing they can do can give it to them. Except for younger fat chicks who quit sugar and get on a physical fitness program, but they are in the minority. And guys who can’t access youth and beauty are also unhappy. Many guys, however, have not caught up to the reality that plodding in school, being polite, and getting an okay but unspectacular job is not a good path to the hottest chicks today. A few of us are out here in the wilderness, telling guys what’s what, but the mainstream culture has mostly not caught up. Many guys only discover reality after their first divorce.

 

The player’s journey blog

The player’s journey blog. If you’re a player you should write one. It’s been much more interesting than I would have thought, especially hearing from other players.

If you write online, your blog becomes a resume of sorts. When I hear from guys, part of what I’m always asking is, “Is this guy full of shit?” There’s usually no way for me to tell from the initial contact. If he has a blog, that lets me quickly browse and try to figure out if he’s full of shit or not. It’s not totally clear and I’m sure some guys fake it (why bother though?)

Plus, sometimes I learn things.

I’ve also said before that the search traffic is a fantastic reason to start a blog. As of this moment, today 25 readers have come through search. I’m sure the majority glance and leave. But how many guys have showed up and had their eyes opened? If you look around you in your real life (you have one of those, yes?), you will notice how f**ked up most guys are. Most guys also lack the knowledge needed to change, the will to change, and the desire to change, but I like to think some readers are seeking the path and will eventually find the path. Then it becomes good to show others the way.

It is dangerous to let a blog replace the life (I have been slightly but noticeably guilty of that). So don’t do that. But if you’re a guy who has been thinking about starting, just do it, and give up if it doesn’t work. I wrote a few things on Reddit, thinking that was all I had to say… then I wrote more… then I realized that Reddit is mostly for newbies… hit WordPress… now I have wasted far too much time doing this but I’ve also learned a lot about myself and heard from interesting other dudes so there’s been substantial benefit as well.

Some of the most interesting conversations are happening privately but you won’t get an invite to them without a public presence.