“Types, truth, bad vibes, and the red pill attachment style”

We haven’t had a Nash bomb lately, so “Types, truth, bad vibes, and the red pill attachment style” is very welcome, though it will disappoint guys hungry for field reports.

i like how you call most ‘red pill’ assertions as essentially either defensive or reactive to the woman’s imperative….this is absolutely correct in my opinion, and a huge drag on guys progress’ in learning to get better with women…..

I think it’s a little different… it depends where the guy starts from. For a lot of guys who have been completely unsuccessful their whole lives, it is necessary to start by protecting what little value they have. And building that value up. Without some underlying value, it’s easy to see only the “bad” side of women. Kind of like how fat chicks are much more likely to see the “bad” side of men… because she is sexually invisible, or visible only to the lowest guys, she finds the “men bad” argument very palatable. You almost never see attractive women who are hardcore feminists. It also seems pretty rare to see attractive men who are hardcore Red Pill “harsh truthers” to speak Nash’s language.

I never, ever try to create Anxiety in women. In no way does Anxiety turn women on.

Mr Anxiety is not only a Type, but he is also very confused on this topic. So much so, I am certain that Desire is not his specialty.

Even if Nash doesn’t try to create anxiety, I can almost guarantee he sometimes does. Maybe often does. When you withdraw attention. When she realizes she’s losing you. When she realizes that you’re higher value than she thought and she’s been a bit of a bitch. When she’s debating whether to see you that night or see someone else (not necessarily male) that night. Etc. At some point… she’s got to be a bit anxious about whether she’s hooked you, as much as you’re worried about whether you’ve hooked her. Typically the guy is worried at first, but the chick worries later on… if she’s never got some anxiety, that’s not great. Chicks are very attracted to ambiguous relationships, and ambiguity implies some anxiety about what the relationship is.

There is such a thing as too much anxiety and such a thing as too much security. Most guys generate too much security and are boring. This is the source of the “anxiety” advice. Within the context of a longer-term relationship, security is good… and there are different types of security and anxiety, and Nash talks of some of those types.

Notice how the hardcore Redpill guys are constantly yammering about bipolar girls (BPD). I’m a Secure type, I don’t aim for “broken” girls, so I really know almost nothing about BPD girls. My “vibe” doesn’t attract them. They are never in life.

I have pretty limited experience with really badly behaved chicks… I think most badly behaved chicks show themselves pretty early, in smaller ways, before they get to the really terrible behaviors, and I think that I notice, sometimes subconsciously, the bad behavior… and don’t reward it. So I don’t think I get far with the really f**ked up chicks. Or I don’t go deep with them.

A girl who is too fucked up… I don’t want her around. This includes chicks who want to extract money from me (for example demanding dinners out), chicks who are excessively negative, chicks who are too into drugs… there are probably some other types I am missing too. Oh I know, chicks who have a history of violence or violent exes.

The last one is important… contrary to the blue pill media narrative some chicks like violent guys and cultivate those guys in their lives. Like I said previously, most female bad behavior doesn’t spring from nowhere… for chicks, the same is true of men. Smart chicks see precursor signs of bad male behavior and cut those guys from their lives, fast. Dumb chicks, fucked up chicks… they see the signs and ignore them or worse like them.

All of our lives are patterned (a topic for another upcoming post)… if a chick has a pattern of past “abuse” or what have you… she is part of that pattern and you as a guy need to rid yourself of her. You will be the “next abuser” in her narrative of injustice.

The same thing is true at work. If you have a worker, colleague, whoever, who has a long history of supposedly being exploited by bosses, companies, etc…. you know the problem is probably with him. Anyone can get in a bad job situation once or twice… three or more times and it’s the worker’s fault.

There are more commonalities between job patterns and dating patterns than most red pill guys realize. Something to think about in that.

Most people will show/tell you who they are… usually not directly, but you can get the point. Believe them and react accordingly. Protect yourself to the extent you can.

Has Nash, or you, read KING WARRIOR MAGICIAN LOVER: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine yet? I don’t see it in Nash’s blog search. It is a book about understanding the self, and a book about types.

One more point, not very connected to the above… I heard from a guy who asked about Nash and I disagreeing with each other in comments. It was a bit of a strange message because it seemed to assume that two people must agree about everything, or be enemies? Whatever it is, I think we are more aligned than not, and I find his thinking very interesting. But it’s also fine and normal for people to have some differences of view and talk them out… like normal people… unlike followers seeking gurus online. Or gurus seeking followers. I am not a guru. I have done some things right… some things wrong… most things in the middle… ideally I am trying to help other guys accelerate their own learning.

For an example of some disagreement, Nash uses way too many capital letters in his post… we don’t need so many proper nouns. But that is a deliberate decision on his part, I’m sure.

I’m also a little bit more sympathetic to mainstream “Red Pill” than he is, in his post… for the basic guy, getting off video games, improving his diet, hitting the gym, socializing more, developing new skills and hobbies… just not handicapping himself… is likely going to do a lot for his practice with chicks. Just not doing the bad things is “enough” for a lot of guys to see significant improvement. Maybe not enough for a guy to become a true player, but enough that he’s no longer stepping on his own dick. If a guy can implement some basics… that is a big jump over his starting space.

Oh yes, and most guys are not reading at all… so they do not have the tools to understand human relations… some guys are naturals and don’t need that, some guys are too dumb to comprehend what they read, but a lot of guys aren’t living up to what they should because they have not discovered the many guys who have ALREADY asked the questions we all are asking, and answered some of the questions. The tools are available… many guys aren’t using them.

So there is my Friday afternoon rambling, before the Internet-free weekend. Go outside, talk to people, read a book.

Why everyone is fat and has no money

According to a 2017 report from the USDA’s Economic Research Service, millennials shop at food stores less than any other age group, spend less time preparing food, and are more likely to eat carry-out, delivery, or fast food even when they do eat at home.

Prepared food sneaks tons of sugar and simple carbs into your food. Prepared foods also cost more. That is why everyone is fat and no one has money. We get into our cars (fat-generating machines), drive to pay a lot of money for sugary, high-carb food, then eat it front of TVs and smartphones. Then people want to know why they have no money. Do the math on spending $3 or $4 a day on lunch instead of $7 or $10 a day over the three years. Over ten.

It used to be that when I would bring in food like chicken, roasted broccoli, and an avocado, I’d be the weird one. Now I see more people doing stuff like that. Not a huge number of people, but more. We know how not to be a fatass… most of us just don’t bother implementing the program.

Now I am not a Spartan and do sometimes eat out, etc. The choice is not 100% typical fattie or 100% perfection. It’s about setting yourself up to do the right thing consistently. Most fat millennials are not doing this.

My biggest trigger point is right after I’ve been really railing a chick. Then, I’m like, “Yes, I’ll have the cake and the cookie and the sandwich.”

The Coast of Utopia: A lot of women would rather focus on their children

The Coast of Utopia: From the looks of Instagram, Courtney Adamo and the surfing mamas of Byron Bay are living the dream” is like pornography for feminists (semi-forbidden but also deeply attractive), because the story appeals to the bulk of women who realize, after a couple years in the real world, that they’d rather spend time with their children than grind it out in the corporate world, competing against men in a male universe. Women buy into this narrative of corporate / financial achievement… then find that it is contrary to their nature and deeper desires… then are afraid to speak up about this because they get shamed by other women. Then porn-for-women stories like this appear and make the yearning all the more powerful.

A lot of women don’t seem to realize this until they’re approaching age 30… when it’s not too late to change, but it’s perceived as being much harder to change. When you wrap your identity in the corporate-grind thing, it can be difficult to unwrap that identity and wrap it up in something else, like the family a woman really wants in her soul and at the base of her being.

Women also realize this right at the point when younger women are crowding up from behind them… right at the point when guys their age and a little older who are family-oriented have already picked their preferred woman.

Instagram is the god-from-the-sky for the women in this particular story, as Instagram provides income, validation, attention, and it’s easy, all at once. Real world… it’s very rare to get them all together. A lot of women who lives rich fantasy lives think they can try to be rich on Instagram… one in ten thousand succeeds, maybe less. It’s right up there with trying to make it in Hollywood. Like the male equivalent of looking for a guy who is into hotwifing and who also has an attractive girlfriend who is into the guy… is it possible? Yeah. Should a guy really be concentrating on the game, not this bullshit? Also yeah. So this story has some bullshit in it, but it also reflects the very real female desire to have a real family while not having to grind out the two-income trap many women wander right into, by being told that they should grind through the corporate world. A small number of women do really like grinding the corporate world, do make real money at doing it, have a family and a nanny and a fabulous pedicure and whatever else it is chicks like… I have met women like this… they are just in the minority. The deep minority of women. Much more common is women who don’t realize till they’re at or over age 30 that they’ve bought into the bullshit, and it’s very hard to get back out of it. The deep satisfaction of family is infinitely greater than beating out Bob to become assistant regional manager and, one day, God willing, regional manager.

Some women also make the mistake of pretending that they want to focus on their families… but really they want to focus on having a super rich hot successful husband, and also outcompeting other women materially (cars, houses, etc.), and also being the most fabulous woman with the most fabulous job. Very very hard to do them all, and most women who try fail, then they write shit like so and so. Most of them have to decide their core values and stick to those (again, real world… there are a few exceptions out there). Many parameters cannot all be maximized simultaneously. The same is true of guys in the game. It is hard to simultaneously be super fit, get a good education, play in a great band or be a DJ, compete in MMA, have a job, etc. Most guys are going to have to pick one or two things and focus on those. For a guy looking for a long-term thing, it’s also unlikely to be able to maximize super hot, super loyal, super family oriented, super fun, good income, mentally stable, maintains blindness towards your side piece, etc. Most guys have to choose among those traits because they are not usually all found in one woman… and if they are, she is going to have lots and lots of choices herself.

The world runs on delusion… delusion can help improve your game… but if your game is not going well, and you can’t generate your own powerful delusion field (like Steve Jobs’ Reality Distortion Field), then you have to face reality instead. Sorry bro.

Back to the article, most of the women I know in the real world did marry eventually. The ones who didn’t… or who married, didn’t have kids, then divorced… they’re the ones who are worst off. For women, declining sexual market value (SMV) after age 35 is usually brutal without kids and a partner. There are exceptions who do all right with it, or who keep finding new guys… but the average outcome doesn’t look very good. And most people are just too lazy and undisciplined to quit sugar and hit the gym, and that shows in their bodies and their outcomes. Ice cream (a weakness of mine, admittedly) is here and now.

Man-hating feminist spinsters are much scarcer in real life than they are online, or in the conventional media, so a lot of angry guys online are responding to ideas that are bad, but that are also not very common in the real world, where most women like men and most men like women. Someone who really truly hates the opposite sex is sending their genes and culture on a one-way ride off a canyon. Within a hundred years I expect militant feminism to have solved itself. Too late for me.

35-year-old New York City woman can’t understand why she’s single

35-year-old New York City woman can’t understand why she’s single. That’s not the given title, it’s “I Hate Dating Apps So Much!” This woman hates dating apps because she’s older, she’s probably living in NYC (tough dating market for chicks, good for guys), and the guys she really wants prefer to date younger, hotter chicks. From her teens to her early 30s she was probably used to dating guys +1 or +2 above her, and now that is not happening and she’s frustrated.

The writer is likely suffering from diminished sexual-market value, as she says, “I know that, as a reasonable, open, attractive woman, if I keep trying, I’ll find someone eventually.” She will find SOMEONE if she assesses herself correctly, or moves to Seattle, where hordes of desperate men will happily wife up older women. The advice-giver says, “Building your own belief system is the exit route.” This is the typical bad advice chicks give each other, and it’s bad advice because it doesn’t consider the environment in which the first woman exists. It doesn’t consider stage-of-life questions. It doesn’t consider what else the writer is probably doing wrong in the men she most prefers.

Both women exist in the land of emotion and not the land of information and they suffer for it. It’s sad to watch women offer such ineffective counsel to each other, like it’s sad to watch guys attempt to solicit dating advice from chicks, since chicks often don’t know or won’t admit what they really want, as opposed to what they tell guys they want.

Perspective, “First Wave at Omaha Beach”

Perspective: your grandfather or great-grandfather may have been on the “First Wave at Omaha Beach | An account of the ‘epic human tragedy’ that unfolded when Allied troops landed on the shores of Normandy on D-Day,” facing down Nazi machine guns, artillery, tanks, and airplanes in order to free Europe from that particular political scourge.  You are afraid to talk to chicks, or unhappy because chicks are social media addicts, or lack the discipline to not cram poisonous sugar down your gullet. You are enamored of the fascistic moron in the White House, who would happily sell us all out for 30 silver (and is doing that whenever he can). On June 5 1944, your grandfather or great-grandfather may have been thinking that there is a very good chance this is the last day of his short life.

By the end of ten minutes, every sergeant is either dead or wounded. To the eyes of such men as Private Howard I. Grosser and Private First Class Gilbert G. Murdock, this clean sweep suggests that the Germans on the high ground have spotted all leaders and concentrated fire their way. Among the men who are still moving in with the tide, rifles, packs, and helmets have already been cast away in the interests of survival.

Compared to hitting the French beaches on June 6 1944, having a chick be mean to you is pretty minor.

Woman unhappy: High-value men won’t commit to her

Woman unhappy: high-value men won’t commit to her” is a better, more accurate title than “I Can’t Do Casual.” As with this woman, the problem is mismatched sexual market value: it’s easy for women to have casual sex with guys +2 or +3 above them but hard to get relationships from those guys. Then women yowl about the problem to other women who pet and soothe them, without getting real.

We don’t learn the age (likely over 30) or the place where the woman lives. I’ve meant to do a post on the book Date-onomics, which describes how sex ratios change dating and f**king. New York City has more single college-educated women than men , and its ratio is more lopsided than any other big city in the country. Basic women over age 30 are everywhere, and they’re all competing against hot chicks in their 20s.

Players should know this and move towards cities with a lot of women and fewer men. Women should do the opposite. I’ve had some private and Twitter conversations about this book, but it should be thrust into the open. The advice giver in the original article has either never read this book (would not be surprising) or has not thought to mention it.

The original woman likely has 1. SMV expectation mismatch and 2. Lives in a city unfavorable to her. She should move to Seattle and guys in Seattle should move to NYC, Nashville, or Austin (NYC’s cost of living for those not receiving state subsidies may be prohibitive to guys who also want to dedicate themselves to the game).

Most people (chicks and, I’m sorry to say, guys) would rather bitch about their circumstances than change them.

Most guys are invisible to the original chick,

It feels like my only options are to be alone, or to just have a rotating cast of guys to fuck while I hope that one of them might eventually deign to invite me to have an emotional connection. If I go that route, they get everything they want out of me, and I get nothing that I want. It makes me feel powerless and disposable, like they have all the power, and I hate it.

There is a third option, guys within her SMV range, but they are likely invisible to her and as unhappy with their plight (celibacy, video games) as she is with hers.

Women want emotion… AND financial support… AND from a high-value, high-status guy. It’s the woman’s trilemma. It’s easy to get any ONE of those things: weak guys will give her emotion or financial support. High-value, high-status guys will give her a tumble. Getting all three from one guy? Very hard. And many women thrash in this trilemma, without even recognizing that it exists. Sort of like how a lot of men want a young, very hot, and very loyal chick. Except for men, even getting #2 is hard.

An article that inadvertently reveals why women who don’t have kids are permanently damaged

The article is not about that, however, “An Ode to ‘the Moms:’ My friends’ mothers gave me Band-Aids, drove me home, and taught me something about grown womanhood.” The amount of anti-maternal material in the media is epic, so it’s nice to see a small corrective. One unstated point, though, is that women aged 40+ (maybe 35+) derive the majority of their meaning in life and status among others from their children.

The corollary is that women who don’t have kids are (typically) damaged in ways that cannot be easily reversed. There is adoption, though that is unusual. The vast majority of women care much more about their families than their bullshit careers (most of the women the author praises are teachers: I have said before that my ears perk up when I hear about women who are teachers or nurses, as both jobs allow women time off easily for families). Most of our society and media work hard to conceal this point, and a disproportionate amount of media narrative is produced by spinsters.

It’s super fun to be a woman at the height of sexual market power, ages 16 – 28, but it’s not so much fun for childless women over the age of 40. Sexual market power shrinks and will never go up again: that is why so many spinsters are bitter, and no amount of feminist posturing will change that. It’s like being exiled from paradise. Default_friend has a bit where says that a healthy society needs a pathway for women to go from maiden -> mother -> crone. In our society, a lot of women try to ride out being maidens way too long, skip motherhood, and hit being “crones” way too early. 

Guys can derive more meaning from sex and sexuality well into their 40s (perhaps beyond), though I argue that most guys should also have families. Many guys are well placed to build their skills and careers in their 20s and start families in their 30s, because it takes that long to build up your game, your career, and your knowledge of and experience with women. Smart guys, however, if they find the highest quality, most-family-oriented woman, should keep her. There are a lot of emotionally vacuous women out there focused on the short term, and finding a woman who is neither and who is family focused is a significant thing today. 

“I guess you didn’t like guys who were—Dependable.”

Anjelica Huston, like most chicks, doesn’t like boring guys

I guess you didn’t like guys who were—
Dependable. Secure. Yeah. No. I never found those ones to be sexy. I like the difficult ones.

If you are a boring dependable guy, top chicks are unlikely to be accessible to you. Being boring is just about the worst thing a guy can be today. So don’t be.

Keep this in mind if you read the rest of the Huston interview, where she goes on and on about how bad this guy and that guy was. Chicks aren’t dumb (a common refrain on this blog): they know who the exciting cheaters are and who the boring faithful guys are… and they often choose the exciting cheaters. Most of the time, when you hear a chick complaining about some demon of a man, she knew what he was like before she started f**king him, and she chose to do so anyway.

Huston likes “the difficult ones” like most chicks do. Game is the process of teaching guys to be one of them, and not one of the guys chicks like her ignore cause they’re too easy and too boring.

In her interview she could have said, “I deliberately chose exciting cheaters over reliable nice guys.” But that would be too honest, so we have to get some euphemisms instead.

Truths rarely admitted: “There’s nothing more powerful in our culture than a beautiful woman”

Truths rarely admitted: “There’s nothing more powerful in our culture than a beautiful woman.” But it’s coming from a gay guy, and gay guys, like comedians, can utter truths the rest of us will face a PC pillory for stating. Most gay guys aren’t PC; they know sexual market value (SMW) too well to be PC. Most PC people will admit dark truths if they’re stated correctly.

But there is more context

He said he feels enormous empathy for women who get frightened about their looks fading. “There’s nothing more powerful in our culture than a beautiful woman,” he said. But “it’s an unsustainable thing. One day it stops. And I have lived through it with so many female friends and part of my job is to imagine myself, the female version of myself, would I want to wear that? Where would I go in it? How would I feel in it? Would I feel vulnerable?”(Mr. Ford said if he were a woman, he would be Ali MacGraw.)

It is unsustainable. It fades fast. We name it “the wall” but you can name it whatever you want to name it. I feel bad for some of these women too… they might understand intellectually that it’s coming, but they don’t prepare for it and one day it BOOM hits them. A lot of guys online are pretty gleeful about that but I don’t share their glee, as beauty is only slightly less fleeting than life itself.

Annoyingly, we don’t get a link to the t-shirt mentioned

He used to tailor white T-shirts he bought at La Rinascente in Milan, but now he wears his own brand. “The cut of the sleeve has to be just right if you want your biceps to look right,” he said.

I did look around the Tom Ford website and clothes there are stupid expensive. Part of combining “Fashion and clothes for players” with Mr. Money Mustache is not spending stupid amounts of money on clothes. I still want to understand the cut of the sleeve thing.

Most fashion guys understand that the human social effect comes from successful attention to numerous details. Players who aren’t naturals eventually learn the same.

“Rom-Coms Were Corny and Retrograde. Why Do I Miss Them so Much?”

Rom-Coms Were Corny and Retrograde. Why Do I Miss Them so Much?” is an article where the title is the article. Rom-coms are porn for chicks because they feature a high-status male eventually committing to one woman, often below his SMV. Despite the feminist dream of a vibrator, cat, ugly pants, and low grooming standards, most chicks still want a guy or two or three and a family. Even chicks who identify as “feminists” want what most chicks want. Just like guys who identify as “feminists” still want to sleep with multiple chicks (if they can, and some can).

It’s funny when feminists admit their desires are pretty conventional.