“My husband pressured me into sex for years” #DontGetMarried

There is a vile article on Vox.com, “My husband pressured me into sex for years. #MeToo must include sexual assault in marriage,” which I’m not going to link but you can find if you must hate-read it. You get the basic idea from the headline.

The article dovetails nicely with Rollo Tomassi’s point, “You cannot negotiate genuine desire.” Any man who attempts to negotiate genuine desire to destined to fail, as the writer’s husband should realize. But like most guys he’s probably never been taught as much, and he probably thought that marriage is a contract or system involving reciprocal obligations and duties.

In modern marriages, that isn’t true. A marriage is a one-sided contract in which a man serves at the whims of a woman. Smart guys realize that marriage is a terrible deal and refuse to enter it. Guys like the one married to the anonymous Vox writer get shat on in public.

There is a concept in engineering called “The Five Whys” that are designed to get beneath the apparent surface of a problem. In the Vox worldview, the problem is the man’s behavior towards his wife. And to be fair, his behavior might be very bad (though we can’t tell from the article). But the deepest root cause of this situation is biology. A couple levels up from that, however, is marriage. Take this guy out of the marriage contract and he’d likely realize “his” woman isn’t into him and he needs to find a woman who is. That’s at least three levels down from the Vox article, however. You’ll never find an honest exploration of male-female relationships in Vox.

Strangely, you will find many honest explorations in other female-centric publications like New York Magazine. But those explorations won’t be framed the way I frame them.

In a Tweet, Vox’s editor Ezra Klein called it a “searing read.” It is searing, but not for the reasons he thinks. It’s a searing indictment of marriage as an institution and that guy for being dumb enough to fall for it.

I propose men start a hashtag, #DontGetMarried, pointing out the reasons why smart guys don’t contort themselves into the horrible position that is marriage.


“Harley Davidson’€™s EV debut could electrify the motorcycle industry”

This is very much off-topic for this blog, and the headline is deceptive, but “Harley Davidson’€™s EV debut could electrify the motorcycle industry.” I say the headline is deceptive because HD won’t electrify the industry, and the company is pretty messed up because of the demographics of its fan base. HD is damned if they do electrify, which is where the industry is headed, and damned if they don’t. If they do electrics, the old timers won’t like the electrics. But if they don’t, they’ll be way behind the technological curve, and the old timers are dying off or becoming too infirm to ride.

Other companies like Zero, which makes my bike, are growing and gaining expertise in electrics.

I love motorcycles and think guys who are debating one should go for it. As I wrote in “Ride a motorcycle—for fun, transport, and dating

Riding a motorcycle will obviously not fix broken fundamentals of personality, weight, social presence, etc. You cannot buy your way out of who you are. But riding a motorcycle is super fun, makes a super fun date or part of a date, makes you look badass in the eyes of women (who almost never know any better) and is a fun, low-carbon way of getting around. I get opened all the time when I dodge into stores with my helmet.

You cannot buy your way out of who you are, but motorcycles are very fun and set a guy apart from most guys who are fat and complacent in their SUVs. One of my favorite lines is, “I usually only let girls on my bike after we’ve slept together.” Ideally we will all live in walkable cities with good public transport, which lets us open girls on the street or on the bus or train, but the American development pattern over the last 50+ years has gone the opposite way, leading to social isolation and sexless misery for both men and women. We should fight back as best we can by getting out of our dirty cars and living in the real world.

It’s definitely harder to have an electric bike in an apartment building than a detached house with a garage, but many landlords and management companies are now willing to install electric outlets for small fees. The landlords and management companies also know which way things are going and standard 120v, 15amp plugs are fine for Zero bikes.

“Why women prefer male bosses”

Why women prefer male bosses” won’t entertain the obvious answer: because on average male bosses are better and less likely to leave the industry.

Feminists don’t like to say this, but in industry everyone knows that most women who have kids quit work or downshift their careers. Yes, there are exceptions. One of my key mentors was a woman who didn’t downshift, but she’s the exception and she knew she was the exception. She was reluctant to mentor younger women because she’d tried before. She’d mentor them, then a couple years in they’d have a kid and goodbye.

That’s also why jobs like nursing, teaching, and pharmacy are so popular among women. They have relatively short training periods. Women can get up and running by age 25 if not sooner. They don’t have a lot of headroom or upward mobility, but those professions are all ones that make it easy to drop in and drop out of the workforce.

You could just, you know, look at women’s real priorities and infer labor market outcomes from that, or you can screech DISCRIMINATION and PATRIARCHY on Twitter instead of working.

Can We Be Honest About Women? Women love the sexual interplay they experience with men

Can We Be Honest About Women? Here’s a little secret we have to say out loud: Women love the sexual interplay they experience with men, and they relish men desiring their beauty.” This is a “no-shit” article and I wish the mainstream media were not so chickenshit as to refuse to take up its theme.

This is also a reminder to GET OFF the internet. The internet is not the real world. In the real world, normal women LOVE men and men are equally enamored of women. Guys who learn game should slough off hate, hit the gym, and enjoy the fact that 98% of women love flirting, love guys, and are fantasizing about and looking for sex.

“Evolutionary theory says men stray to increase offspring, but what motivates women? Enter the mate-switching hypothesis”

Why women stray: Evolutionary theory says men stray to increase offspring, but what motivates women? Enter the mate-switching hypothesis.” An excellent essay by David Buss and offered without much commentary. For men the important thing to know is that most women will stray if given the chance and the right opportunity. Be the guy she cheats with, not the one she cheats on.

I have a post aout David P. Barash’s book Out of Eden: The Surprising Consequences of Polygamy coming down the pike. I highly recommend it. Understanding the theory helps the practice. Most guys have neither.

Your girl’s male “friends?” Usually they’re alternate options.

When the model goes totally out the window

I love this story from Tom Torero. Sometimes things go bizarrely for reasons mostly outside your control. In this case, he snagged a definite “yes girl” almost by accident. Some of the most confusing times can occur when there are no obstacles. I’m trying to think of a story similar to his, but none have that combination of fast sex with a total stranger met on public transport. A couple times I’ve slept with friends of women I’ve been sleeping with, but those situations were more social proof and seeing the moment than game.