“Sex is Sex. But Money Is Money.”

Sex is Sex. But Money Is Money.” This chick writes about being an escort… much of her experience is similar to what escort girls have told me, and it is a reminder of what life can look like for some younger-hotter-tighter chicks. Some chicks have the psychology to be escorts but many don’t, and the ones that don’t really really suffer if they try or succeed.

A lot of chicks get f**ked up mentally and emotionally and sometimes physically by escorting… but for the ones who have the body and personality for it, it can be an insanely easy way to make a lot of money. Straight men can’t earn substantial money from straightforward sex work, like women can, an aspect of female privilege no one talks about.

I think guys, even players, don’t 100% appreciate what the wild life of a hot young chick can look like, if she chooses it to be wild. This is also why some older, once-hot chicks get so bitter… they remember the days when hordes of men gave them money, attention, status, anything at all… and the contrast with the men who are available to them when they’re older, less hot, etc. Smart chicks see this coming and plan accordingly, but a whole lot of chicks don’t, and age smacks them in the face, hard. Not the good kind of hard either.

Being an escort, like being a player, can also be super lonely. Other chicks fear, hate, and envy the escort… guys mostly just want to f**k super hot chicks, so most hot chicks aren’t real friends with straight men… also, somewhat contrary to what you read online, most sex workers know that being a sex worker is still taboo and will have severe social ramifications if/when news gets out. So it can be isolating. This is why “seeking” or “sugar” relationships are attractive, as a guy in his 40s or 50s can pose as a pseudo-boyfriend, which is a little weird, but is more socially acceptable than f**king three or more new guys a week. Any time a girl (or a guy for that matter) who can lie about or obfuscate the sex-for-money thing, she will.

There are more sex workers in the sex club / non-monogamy space than in the regular world… or they’re more open about it, because almost everyone in that space is already sex-positive and acknowledges that humans love to f**k and we should f**k more. I think sex workers can like non-monogamy because the people are far less judgmental and far more welcoming… it becomes a community, something that sex workers need because many traditional communities will reject their work and who they are as a person. Escort girls can even be competitive with each other.

I wasn’t going to post on the blog about this, but the story seemed to touch a nerve on Twitter, so I’ll memorialize it here. Escort girls are also entrepreneurs / consultants, and many people are not cut out for that role, and are better off working for someone else.

Bike Girl: One year away thoughts

Bike Girl ended a year ago, and I’ve already forgotten most of the details of the end… I wish I’d started writing the blog sooner, as many of the details around various chicks have faded away. There is no substitute for writing very close to the events as they happen in real time. Everything becomes abstract and mushy, given sufficient distance. I’ve been encouraging many guys to write their players journey blogs, and the value of fresh material is part of the reason why… the value of random search engine traffic is another… mostly you should write for yourself, but the fact that you might reach some other poor suffering dude is a nice bonus.

About Bike Girl, Anastasia asked on Twitter, “Have you heard about her after?” Not too much: little bit here and there… we kept fucking for a while after the breakup… but really we are too different. She is more looking for a guy who is kinda chill and matches her, or a guy who will take care of her (likely financially)… I am neither… she wouldn’t put it that way, though. Fort Worth Playboy asked, “How would she frame it?” A good question. I think she’d frame it as I’m a jerk and a player who takes advantage of her. I pretend to offer girls one thing, then don’t follow up on it. She was ready to move to the next stage and I cruelly ditched her. She is pretty enough that she can find guys who will happily commit to her… she has a few in her orbit… like so many chicks she’s most into a guy who won’t commit to her room, board, and upkeep. I’m a little harsh in the last sentence, as she did have a job when I was with her. But only a little harsh.

I think I confuse some chicks, because I don’t really read as fuckboy (contra this, which reveals more about the quality of Low-cut top girl’s mind and thinking than it does about me), but I also don’t really read as monogamous “good guy.” So chicks don’t really know how to categorize me… The ones I get along with, aren’t bothered by this. The chicks who are happy doing something a little different than the standard categories (e.g. consensual non-monogamy), often like me quite a bit because they get to be different. The ones who want the usual are often flummoxed. The ones who like me are okay thinking in shades of gray, rather than black and white. In conversation I ask a lot of “Why?” and “How do we know that?” and “Are we certain of that?” kinds of questions. Not in a mean way… I don’t try to use them as cudgels… but in a searching way… and girls who are searching like those questions… girls who already know everything don’t like them very much.

I think you can tell which kind of girl I like better. The chicks who are happy doing something a little different than the standard categories (like consensual non-monogamy), often like me quite a bit because they get to be different. Chicks who like rigid categories need to find guys who fit in those categories.

I hope Bike Girl is doing well. I could ping her again… last I heard I believe she was dating someone. I wish her well… but she is going to have a tough time trying to get a “got it all” (looks + money + charisma) guy. She can get a guy w/ one or two of those, I think. She seems like the kind of chick who will keep looking for the “just right” guy, as her 40th birthday sails past and her fertility window closes. I know some women who just stay on the shelf too long… it’s sad, but common. Maybe increasingly common. Our idiotic culture tells women that she should HAVE IT ALL. Stupid. But almost no one “has it all.” Not men. Not women. No one in our culture tells men that we need to “have it all.” I wonder why.

(That last statement is sarcastic.)

With the blog, Nash says, “I can tell by the way you write that pieces are ‘fresh,’ they aren’t stewed-on for weeks… and I appreciate that about your writing. I want to do more of that.” Some of them I sit on for too long… not all, though. I’m a fan of the 12″ MacBook and similar computers for their portability… got an idea? Pop in for coffee, execute it, move on. It’s amazing how far tech has come… laptops used to have to be big and heavy to be functional… now they don’t. By the way, don’t buy a 12″ MacBook the day this is being published in May 2019, as they are overdue for an update.

UPDATE: The 12″ MacBook is dead and now replaced by the 13″ MacBook Air. A less portable machine and I wish the 12″ MacBook had been updated.

I was tempted at times to start the blog earlier, but I didn’t because I knew it would suck up more time and energy than is desirable. As a consequence, many of the details have faded; looking at my writing from just one or two years ago shows me as much. I remember previous girls, that they existed, a few things about them and about us… but not the stuff that speaks to how it really was. Strangely, my habit of making sex tapes provides many of those details for other girls. One of my favorite girls, I haven’t written a lot about here, but I think about her a lot.

She was likely a high 7 / low 8, principally due to her youth and hobbies (dancing). For whatever reason I connected with her strongly, but she did not want to do what I wanted to do (sex clubs), and I let her go. I wonder if I should have stuck with her longer… of all the chicks I’ve slept with, for some reason she stays with me the most. One of the early times we fucked, probably the third or fourth, at the end of it she sighed happily and said, “I needed that.” A little moment… a minor one… one I would have forgotten if not for the video… but the way she says it… it’s nice, like a few seconds later when she said that she’d been thinking about seeing me all day. She sounds so satisfied. Very satisfying to me in turn.

Sometimes I leave the camera on for a while after the sex, and the conversation after is tremendously interesting. I think people are more honest and less guarded right after fucking. I didn’t realize that making fuck tapes would catch some of those moments. Come for the smut, stay for the talking.

I have some more stories I need to finish, but I don’t think they have much in the way of real learning points, so they don’t seem urgent. I have been doing a bit of cold approach, but not in a good or consistent way… my head space has been bad for that, and it shows.

Your life is a reflection of who you are

There is a guy on Reddit, I am not going to link to him, who wrote a post saying that, “Finding out women are brain dead, making me depressed.” And he says, “To me it seems that 99.9% of women are like semi-blind goldfish. It’s like they have absolutely ZERO control or recognition of their emotions, they just react without thought.” The first reply says, “Dude you’re not wrong, but you’re not going to be fun and enjoy the moment with a cynical mindset. Most women do have the attention span and memory of a goldfish though.” Actually, that dude IS wrong. He’s probably low value, though. He’s also hanging out with the wrong women.

Women have a somewhat different value system, on average, than dudes, more based on emotion and feelings. This guy is as blind to that as most chicks are to the male value system of achievement. It’s likely that high-value, intelligent women do not like this guy, do not find him attractive, and outright avoid him. It’s also possible that he’s in a bad environment, like a rural area or a bad school, and he is surrounded by people who are not the intellectual cream.

If you think most women are brain dead there are two real possibilities (I’ll discount the environmental possibility for now, because most people get into the environment they earn/deserve): 1. You are someone like Stephen Wolfram and working on Mathematica and you are a genius, in which case most people seem kind of dim (I have met geniuses), or 2. You are stupid and blind yourself. The vast majority of people who think they are geniuses are wrong and fall into category 2. Even geniuses often lack sufficient theory of mind to understand what chicks want.

If you think chicks are dumb, the problem is probably you, because your value is low and you don’t even know it, or the chicks you hang out with. The same guy who wrote the thing I am referencing also uses a ton of run-on sentences and likely doesn’t even know it. It’s very rare that someone thinks everyone around them is dumb and is correct. And even if you are correct, that’s a sign you need to make serious life changes. It’s amazing how many guys, who aren’t getting laid much and don’t have high value, think women are dumb / mean / cruel / all whores / etc., vs. how many guys who are getting laid and have high value often don’t think that.

Photography game?

I don’t have a strong view on photography game, though Goldmund sells a book with that name (or camera game, I can’t remember). A couple of guys have asked me about photography in game, since I often cite “Anyone doing any online dating needs to learn basic photography skills.” I’m chary about cameras as game props, because, as I wrote in Ride a motorcycle—for fun, transport, and dating, “Riding a motorcycle will obviously not fix broken fundamentals of personality, weight, social presence, etc. You cannot buy your way out of who you are.” There is no single tool or thing you can buy to make you attractive to women, regardless of what the massive marketing and advertising edifices tell you. Most guys who think they’ll use the camera to attract and seduce women are deluding themselves and probably come off as creepers. I’ve seen camera-wielding creepers and heard stories from women about them.

But, a guy with good fundamentals can no doubt add the camera as a way to open and bond with chicks. I shot a couple hundred nude and erotic pics of Ms. Slav on a rooftop this week, and she loved it.

One corespondent says,

We discussed whether validation was more important to women than sex itself. He said these women spent the best part of an eight hour shoot talking about how horny it made them feel so he jokingly told me I should set up some shoots of women I liked for the express purpose of fucking chicks! Seems so corny though.

It’s hard for me to judge this kind of thing. I’ve not done photo shoots or camera game like this or like Goldmund describes; I’ve typically done photo shoots and that kind of thing after sex, like I did with Ms. Slav on the rooftop cityscape, when the girl’s sexual excitement shows through her entire body and soul.

I can’t tell if doing bikini photo shoots with a girl you haven’t yet slept with is a demonstration of higher value, lower value, or neither. My immediate instinct is to say, “Lower,” and that setting up a camera shoot with a chick is worse than just doing a regular date with her, and perhaps mentioning a photo shoot in a future-project way. But I’ve not got experience doing this kind of game.

It’s dangerous to judge a game style or technique without trying it out, because what may seem true in theory may not be true in practice. Game should be a practice and a practical set of applications, and I just don’t know here. I do know that chicks are narcissistic enough that getting their nudes done by a guy they trust is fun for them. A decent number later ask me to delete the pics and videos, showing the vagaries of the female mind.

My guess is that if you’re a cool enough guy to make the camera thing work, you don’t need the camera. And if you’re not a cool enough guy to make the camera thing work, the camera isn’t going to help.

Obviously the camera can be a useful tool. In many circumstances I like having a book more, and talking about what I’ve been reading. A lot of chicks are surprised by that because most guys don’t read. Even dumb chicks are somewhat impressed, if it’s done well by the right guy.

“If it’s done well by the right guy” is everything.

By the way, Ms. Slav went on a date with another woman last night, and it was extremely successful. More updates on her to follow. My weekend has been very chill, since I’m recovering from travel and other things. I’m off my gym routine due to travel and a minor injury, so I need to get back into it.

 

Cause things change

I have an acquittance (not really a friend, exactly, but a friend of friends) who is one of those travel bores, forever flying somewhere and then telling everyone about her trip. But last time I saw her she was complaining about how it was harder to connect to people, how her “friends” flaked on her much more frequently, fewer people wanted to meet, etc. She attributes this to greater rudeness and the spread of social media.

I have a different explanation. She’s reaching into her late 30s now. She’s never been hot but was okay… I’ve definitely done worse. I’m not a fan of the concept of “the wall,” but she has hit it. Is hitting it. Suddenly, the ease with which she traveled is going down, because a lot of guys who used to grease the skids for her aren’t doing it anymore. Or they’re willing to do less for the same output. But she can’t figure out why. Or she chooses not to think about why.

She also has a long, complicated story about why things didn’t work out with “the love of her life,” which isn’t complicated. Now she’s older, has no real career, and maybe she’ll keep doing the travel thing. We’ll see where it gets her, in the end.