The best and most actionable advice and guidance for guys looking to build their game and become players is private… it’s happening in group chats, emails, etc. It’s not happening public, where some advice is good, some is bad, and a lot is too general. The public sphere has a lot of good and useful information in it particularly for the newest guys who are learning the basics, but each guy has specific challenges, sticking points, etc. In addition, each guy has different internal psychological challenges, and those internal challenges are very hard to self-diagnose. Almost all of us want to protect our own egos and so turn away from difficult truths… me included. To be the best, however, we need to get feedback on our challenges and to ultimately confront them. Or to just improve.
Write your player blog. It’s an advertisement, but not in the way you think. To get into the deeper levels, you need to show that you’re not an idiot (most guys are idiots) and that you’re willing to put in the effort necessary to make progress. Write your player blog and reach out to the guys who don’t seem to be idiots. That’s where the better ideas, coaching, encouragement, etc. happen. You likely won’t get into the substantive and specific conversations without some demonstration that you’re not an idiot first. The blog is that demonstration.
The blog need not even be unique. You can just write about what you’re doing, what’s happening to you, what you notice with chicks, etc. Even a blog about blowouts is going to be more interesting than what most guys are doing (nothing, or repeating platitudes, or writing vaguely about why this one special girl isn’t into them, etc.). Most guys don’t get the feedback they need to improve.
This is a kind of “do as I say, not as I do” moment of advice. I have spent most of my time as a player struggling to learn things on my own instead of accelerating my learning by tapping into the advice/guidance of others. It has worked out okay for me, but I could have done better and probably should have. I also didn’t realize that the material that rises to the level of blogs, or twitter, is only a small amount of that which remains in private chats.
I’m going to be a bit arrogant and say that I am better at this than most guys, and I am still amazed at all the s**t other guys come up with and observe. If that’s true of me, it’s likely true of you as well. There are many guys much better at this than I am, too. Some of them are writing publicly… I include many of their blogs in the links panel… and I bet almost all of them will have more specific and detailed advice in private than they do in public. But they, like me, don’t want to waste time on wankers. Most of the guys I have been speaking to in private, I have also been reading in public for months or years.
Consider this story… in college when that happened, I was operating by instinct and didn’t really know what I was doing… I think that is one reason I encourage guys to write online… most guys have no idea what we’re doing… game gives us a framework. To take my work specifically, with sex clubs, almost no one is writing about this topic. Non-mono more generally is covered by a handful of people… like me, Blackdragon (when he is not pitching “Alpha male magic 3.0 yeah baby yeah conference”), now some from Yoylo and Magnum at times… and that’s it… it’s mostly invisible to most players. The guys who stumble into it, are also doing it by accident (I have some examples of this but they have been sent to me in private). We need to turn game from lore into a proper program, a proper course of study.
THE GAME and MYSTERY METHOD turned seduction from lore into a proper program… and they are still valuable… I am seeking to do the same… I would not have been able to do this without starting the blog… now I hope that others will take up the ideas and extend/apply it. It can be done. The lows are low… but the highs are high.