“It is not your job to match your boyfriend’s libido.” Yes, it is.

At least the guy in “It is not your job to match your boyfriend’s libido” was not stupid enough to marry this woman, because his relationship with her is likely OVER. Unfortunately, the woman dispensing advice to another woman is just reinforcing the bullshit view that it’s a great idea for a woman to repeatedly refuse her man sex… which is going to lead to the end of the relationship.

Soon, she likely to be doing 100% of the housework, because the man is going to leave (if he has any balls… maybe he doesn’t).

A man, however, is only as good as his other options, and this mainstream press piece reminds us that in today’s world we must always have and be cultivating other options. You cannot give up. There is no coasting. It may hurt to imagine that, but it’s true.

If the genders had been reversed, it would of course be the man’s responsibility to match the woman’s libido, and, if he cannot, it would be her right to seek satisfaction elsewhere.

To give the woman her due, it’s reasonable not to want to be routinely woken up for sex in the middle of the night if you’re not into that kind of thing… but a reasonable woman would also say, “Instead, I want to have sex in these times and ways, and I’m making it work for both of us.”

The more game I’ve needed the worse the relationship has been

I was reading “Honest observations after eight years in the game” and got to thinking: the more game I’ve needed to get a particular girl, or the more I’ve had to run game on her, the worse the relationship has been. The ones who are bitchy, constantly testing, and most difficult can be good in bed but the relationships themselves are never the best. Those women are only good as friends with benefits, and even then the “friends” part stretches the definition of the word.

The ones who just wanted me and the sex and let everything lead into that have been the most pleasant to deal with and over time the best in bed. Over time this has become my own test: How much game did I need to get this woman? The more game, the more likely I am to jettison her or keep her in a distant rotation.

It’s amazing to me that many women think playing hard to get and being unpleasant to be around is somehow a way to get and keep a man. That’s a good way to get some casual sex and a terrible way to get a relationship. Over time, the guys who persist most will be the ones with no other options. Guys with options will find a woman who’s more pleasant to be around, and pleasant to be around starts with the very first interaction.

Bike Girl was pleasant when I met her, pleasant in texting, pleasant on the first date, and has been pleasant since. So was the gorgeous 19-year-old I met a couple years ago and dated for almost two. Most of the relationships I’ve ended prematurely ended because the girl was the opposite. The more “game,” I’ve needed, the more I realized (usually sooner) that the girl couldn’t and shouldn’t be anything more than an FWB. The more I’ve felt “tested,” the more I’ve known the girl is no good or no good for me. Next!

No wonder relationships in the U.S. are fucked.

This isn’t an “actionable” post and doesn’t matter much for guys who want to hit ‘n’ run. But guys who are still being chosen, rather than the choosers, should know that your whole world changes when you do more choosing. You learn a lot quickly.