Coffee with a marginal chick, and the sex club multiplier (Keynesian)

Had coffee with a marginal chick, one I used to sleep and go to sex clubs with, cause she’s in town… high 6 for the most of the time I’ve known her, has probably slipped down to a 6 now, but she also wanted to f**k, yet I wasn’t that keen on her. She’d set aside a huge block of time to see me, and, by implication, a huge amount of time in which she’d get f**ked. Setting limits and boundaries with girls is a reversal of the typical order, since girls are usually the ones setting boundaries, delivering “let’s just be friends” (ljbf) talks, etc., but I’ve been thrust into that role numerous times, most often by girls at the lower end of my plausible range, and so I talked to this one before we met up and made my “no sex” excuse, feeling a bit like a chick with an ardorous suitor must. I also had some logistical obstacles that, absent them, I might’ve taken her for an easy tumble, despite things.

What’s off about her? She 1. doesn’t shave/trim her bush adequately and 2. doesn’t like deodorant, for some weird hippie reason. Those things, combined with her weirdo social justice warrior tendencies, contribute to this underlying sensed of fucked-up-ness about her, and contribute to the way she’s forever not able to sustain proper relationships… and she’s the kind of woman who can never realize, or admit to herself, that the big problem is her. Not men. Her SJW/woke ideology blames men for everything and prevents her from looking properly at herself. One secret life superpower is to realize that 90% of whatever’s wrong with your life is due to you, not anyone or anything else. I’d not date her, ever… from my perspective, she’s fine for casual f**king and would be awful for anything else, a perspective I’m sure most other guys share, or come to share. Unless we’re f**king, she can be annoying. She’s not dumb, and if she could fix her personality and her relentlessly inane political/social views, she’d be pretty fun and interesting. Even now, 85% of the time, she’s fun and interesting, and fun to talk to. But the other 15% of the time, kills her overall vibe. The whole red pill / manosphere thing has a similar issue going on, where it’s like 60% correct and useful, but the other 40% consists of conspiracy theories, crazy authoritarian impulses, disdain for and failure to understand women, etc. The 40% guarantees it’ll never break into the mainstream, and it repels a lot of normal guys who aren’t lunatics, who go outside, etc. Which is a shame, but outside of my ability to substantially control/correct. I try to encourage and demonstrate some level of basic sanity and some level of basic connection to reality, but I’m one guy, and the past year has demonstrated informational pathologies in the community.

Back to the girl, a few years ago, we met this couple at a party, the girl an 8, the guy probably a high 7, kept trying to meet up with them but never quite did. They broke up, the girl had a nice little rebound with me, nothing super special, but I’d not have gotten her in the first place without Cassie, and she was fundamental to other adventures as well. I’ve written in a bunch of places that one tolerably attractive girl can be multiplied many times over through non-monogamy. In economics, there’s a concept called, variously, the Keynesian multiplier, the fiscal multiplier, and sometimes other terms. The basic idea is that, during a demand slump in a market cycle, government borrowing of a dollar can result in more than a dollar of economic output, because the demand slump means that supply slackens as well, and those dollars pumped into the economy will, under this theory, boost demand. But by how much? It’s hard to say, and macroeconomists debate the question (interest rates are an important variable too, and supply isn’t infinitely elastic) endlessly, and we’re not going to settle this question here, today. There’s also a p***y multiplier, particularly through sex clubs, in which a guy who has one girl is able to get two or six or more girls, as long as he brings the first one, and as long as she’s a down-ass chick. If you listened to Delicious Tacos’s podcast with Default_Friend and The Personality Girl, you’ll have heard DT make the same point, although I don’t think he’s done sex clubs (could be wrong on that, I’ve not read his whole oeuvre). There’s a distinct gap between guys who have or can get that first girl, and guys who can’t. Guys who can’t are either content being miserable and playing video games, or are trying to move into the “guys who can” category. Cassie is a kind of “multiplier” girl who has value for that reason, and she’s also way into me, because my SMV is higher than hers.

To a female 6 or high 6, I might look like a catch, like I’m within believable striking distance of her. To an 8, I’m fine, and if we mesh well in other ways, she might be very into me, but she’s unlikely to be as into me as a girl at least a point below me is. Cassie’s not quite that into me, maybe cause I’m not that into her. Apart from the SJW stuff, she needs to quit alcohol and probably sugar too… that stuff’ll get a person, particularly as she gets older. Going out with her was probably a waste of time, but I’m not opposed to preserving the option in the future, and, like I said, I do like talking to her, overall. Things don’t work out the way I’d like them to with my situation right now, I could be in a situation in which I’d like to hit a sex club with her… likelihood of that happening is low, 10%?, but not 0. Today I’m also emphasizing her bad qualities, she has many good qualities too, among them, she shows up when she says she’s going to show up. She f**ks when she shows up. She proposes doing things, and we do them. Simple courtesy of that sort, and not being a flake, is sufficiently rare for me to note it as a major positive. So many chicks can’t hold onto relationships because they’re flakey.

Re: burning leads, Redpill dad has a story about the value of not burning leads, a story that’s consistent with many of my own adventures and experiences. Guys are forever making ego-driven moves that cause them to pointlessly burn leads. A lot of guys, when they simply stop making so damn many mistakes, see a decent level of success, just from avoiding normal stupidity. Get a virtuous p***y cycle going and good things will happen.

35-year-old New York City woman can’t understand why she’s single

35-year-old New York City woman can’t understand why she’s single. That’s not the given title, it’s “I Hate Dating Apps So Much!” This woman hates dating apps because she’s older, she’s probably living in NYC (tough dating market for chicks, good for guys), and the guys she really wants prefer to date younger, hotter chicks. From her teens to her early 30s she was probably used to dating guys +1 or +2 above her, and now that is not happening and she’s frustrated.

The writer is likely suffering from diminished sexual-market value, as she says, “I know that, as a reasonable, open, attractive woman, if I keep trying, I’ll find someone eventually.” She will find SOMEONE if she assesses herself correctly, or moves to Seattle, where hordes of desperate men will happily wife up older women. The advice-giver says, “Building your own belief system is the exit route.” This is the typical bad advice chicks give each other, and it’s bad advice because it doesn’t consider the environment in which the first woman exists. It doesn’t consider stage-of-life questions. It doesn’t consider what else the writer is probably doing wrong in the men she most prefers.

Both women exist in the land of emotion and not the land of information and they suffer for it. It’s sad to watch women offer such ineffective counsel to each other, like it’s sad to watch guys attempt to solicit dating advice from chicks, since chicks often don’t know or won’t admit what they really want, as opposed to what they tell guys they want.

Who counts and who doesn’t in the game

A guy wants to know why I wrote that the two chicks from Tinder don’t really count… I don’t have a hard ruleset for who “counts,” and the principles drift over time: for these two, one girl was hot but also kind of dopey, and I can’t tell how much she liked me against how much she was trying to pump me for information about how to be a prostitute, while a real proper lay in my view has to be about two people who like each other, or like each other enough to f**k. I’m not convinced that I liked her enough, or she liked me enough, or that there wasn’t some financial value exchange going on… felt a little too much like consulting. I’ve also been on a couple dates in my life with younger chicks who were basically pumping me for career advice (if you go on enough dates with enough chicks, weird shit happens). It’s possible that I could have kept with her longer, not done the “nuclear” version of asking her to do a sex club… maybe it would have developed. But she is not who I’m looking for, despite her being hot. I also didn’t feel any connection and think she was the same, so why bother? She will drift off one way or another.

The other one wasn’t hot enough and also I should have just quit beforehand.

What “hot enough” means is going to depend on the guy in question. For me… usually she’s a high 6 at a minimum, more likely a 7. Honestly… 6s… some are “okay.” I can work the right one, it depends on the girl, though… if she is a high 6, on the low 7 border… she might “count.” On Tinder I couldn’t even hit that standard, and most of the chicks liking me were 5s or below, way off my own internal standards.

Like, if I were having intercourse with 5s… I could do it all day… it’s not really game… it’s just SMV mis-match. It wouldn’t be that much different from Keanu Reeves with 8s… he is a rich famous actor, so there is little “game” needed for him. He can just be. I could f**k a different fat chick every night, and, aside from wanting to kill myself before, during, and after, I could brag about all the chicks I’m getting because I’M SUCH AN ALPHA MALE HEAR ME ROAR.

“Who counts” also depends on where the guy is coming from… if you are a fat, video-game-playing f**kin idiot, and you manage to get a 4 or 5… that might “count” for you (even as you are working to improve yourself, right? right?). Depends on where you are… you want to be seeking chicks who are at the edge of your skills and abilities. If a low SMV guy is chasing 7+ chicks, he is probably signing up for loads of unpleasant rejection that may have psychological ramifications. This is also why I think you can safely ignore guys online writing about how all chicks are evil and bitches and on and on… chances are the guy is experiencing SMV mismatch. Same with chicks saying all guys are evil and assholes… chances are she’s fat and experiencing SMV mismatch.

For me… 8+ chicks will NEVER be easy, not consistently… there aren’t many, and I’m now outside of their most typical age ranges, in most cases. Sometimes I will be an 8’s natural type and it will be easy, but that is uncommon. I doubt 8 are easy for most guys talking online, consciously thinking about the game, like deadlifting twice your weight is not easy for almost any guy. Guys who are naturally gettin 8+ chicks… they’re probably not online.

Most guys online appear to exaggerate their achievements, god knows why as who really gives a f**k? It’s also not a totally objective process… some of the best sexual chemistry I’ve had has not been with the objectively hottest chicks, though the correlation is strong.

I also think a lot of the guys who get their game together, drop out of the online conversation, because they have nothing to add… and the vast majority of the online conversation is newbies talking to each other. Nothing wrong with being a newbie, but you can only answer basic questions so many times before you’re like, “dude, go read the background on this topic.”