I can’t believe I have to post this, but here goes.
Riv had or has a problem because he has or had no good leads. In response I wrote:
You actually have two choices:
1. Buy it.
2. Cold open.
You need to do one or both of those. When you have a new girl you will stop caring about the old ones.
You can read a bunch of other pretty dumb comments at the top link. I’m not going to repeat them all here. Most of the comments are based on misreading, or pouring ideas into my suggestion that aren’t there.
To be clear, I do (of course) emotionally bond with women.
But I also realize that I can only control myself, not others. No matter how into the woman I am, I can’t control her. She will do what she wants. Heartbreak happens.
When it does, you can rage futilely against it. Or you can accept it as a part of life and even enjoy the pain, sort of like how you can enjoy the pain of deadlifting.
A growing experience with a new woman helps release the pain of the previous one. Action is usually better than rumination.
One of the only effective ways of making the old girl come back is to have a new one. Women want what they can’t have.
Kind of like… men.
Does this sound familiar? If you’ve read stoic philosophy it should.
The best women go all the way for their men. She puts 100% into her man. If you are not getting 100%, the relationship is never going to be as good as one in which she willfully and joyously gives 100%. If she stops giving 100%, the relationship is over. The remaining question is, how long will it take the man to recognize it?
If she leaves you, that is… not 100%. So it’s time to buy it, cold open, online date, touch up old leads, do whatever you need to do.