The university mess up and the dorm bicycle

As a university freshman I had a “friend,” we’ll call her Kate, who had a boyfriend at another school out-of-state. She talked about him quite a bit while sober… then would get drunk and become the dorm/school bicycle. If I remember correctly, my roommate had a ride pretty early on.

One night she knocked on my door late at night and came in crying because she’d f**ked some guy who apparently only lasted a minute, then she saw him kissing another girl later that night. She ran up to him, slapped him, and ran away. You may be thinking, “This is just another crazy chick,” but apart from that and some of her sex habits, she seemed pretty normal. She got into bed with me and eventually finished up crying. She was wearing sweatpants and a tank top or something like that.

As the conversation petered out, I was trying to decide if I should try to f**k her or not… and I decided not to. Or I was too scared to. I think I didn’t go for her more because of the residual boyfriend guilt than anything else. So there was this super-available, pretty girl… and I didn’t hit it.

But Kate’s madness was an early reference experience that clued me into the idea that what I saw on society’s surface, was (is) different than what’s actually going on. Knowing what I know today, of course the obvious thing is to bend her over, rail her (protected!), and then send her on her way, or just kick her out and tell her to find another orbiter to cry on, but I was not so advanced then. Thinking of myself, then vs. now, is also why I’m willing to entertain and respond to more newbie questions than some guys will… myself at that age did not have the comprehension that I do now. I also didn’t understand that lots of chicks will cheat and for that reason it’s fine to take shots at married chicks or women with boyfriends. If she is going to cheat, I want to let her cheat with me!

At the end of her first year, Kate transferred to her boyfriend’s college… and then broke up with him! This is one of the many reference experiences that can be distilled into the macro point that chicks are random. (See also.) In my younger life I spent a lot of time and mental energy trying to logic out chicks’s behaviors, and it took an embarrassingly long time to reach the “chicks are random” conclusion that most players eventually find. Trying to be overly analytical about an individual chick is foolish. Across many chicks, you can discern patterns, but a single chick is likely to be a random collection of impulses that she doesn’t understand, let alone you. Often if you try to probe for the logic behind a chick’s actions, you’ll get total nonsense, and if you probe too hard, the chick will just get angry. “Why don’t guys just get it?” she thinks. She knows that what she feels in the moment is reality, so guys should understand that too.

Right after college, Kate moved back to my city and I made the mistake of inviting her to a fairly formal party. We went and I tried to bang her after. She still looked good, although less good than she had at age 18/19, but she wouldn’t let me bang her. I was disappointed and still had some residual of the mindset that since we’d had a fancy “date,” we should f**k at the end. Obviously, experienced players know that’s a stupid mindset. She had yet another boyfriend who was supposed to move to our city in a couple months.

After that night, I stopped contacting her, although she kept contacting me for a couple weeks after. I had learned enough to give up on chicks I wanted to bang, but who weren’t going to bang me. I think she saw me as soft and safe (she was somewhat correct about that at the time) and I didn’t want to be in that frame.

So Kate. At some point we were Facebook friends, and we may have done some chatting on Facebook like 10 years ago, but I just tried to look her up to see what she’s like today and discovered she must have unfriended me. That is okay with me, because I can’t imagine having anything to say to her today, but I remember her because of how f**king puzzled I was as a freshman just learning how chicks really work.

This is probably a stupid thing to do, but…

This is probably a stupid thing to do, but on years when I’m not doing kid stuff, I often go to a friend’s Thanksgiving. My friends have a fun house and are very accepting… they invite lots of their friends and family, so the group is always fresh and kind of random.

You can probably see where this is going, and what the stupid thing is. I told Ms. Slav she can come, although I warned her that she would probably be bored because most of the people there will be far older than her and more boring than her. But she doesn’t have anything to do and, while lots of college girls claim they don’t fit in with the rest of the college herd, in her case it is actually true.

I have brought “inappropriate” girls to events before, but this is a new high, or low, for me. Ms. Slav has very good social skills, so I’m not concerned about that. I am looking forward to the feedback from friends afterwords, though. When a single guy brings a hot chick into a world that mostly consists of couples who are close to each other in age, interesting things happen. Usually the women all get their feathers ruffled and their hackles up. They instinctively hate the younger, hotter rival, but social etiquette demands they not be too direct about that hate.

Their real ire, however, is about the example the younger rival sets. All of their boyfriends and husbands are going to look at me and start thinking, “If this guy can pull that hot young girl, can I do it, too?” A few of the guys will be jealous but most of them will be like, “You lucky dog, you.”

I hate the emphasis normal guys put on “Getting lucky.” It isn’t luck, for the most part. It’s skill, diligently applied. With any given interaction, there is a luck element. Like with Ms. Slav, when I opened her about books I had no idea she’d be such a sexual predator. There was luck. But I’ve chatted with hundreds of other girls who went nowhere. Ms. Slav was luck. Chatting up all those other girls… it has elements of skill. All those nights at the gym, days in the pool, sessions in the yoga studio… that isn’t luck.

So we’re going to see how it goes. I’ve warned Ms. Slav and attempted to set very low expectations. Bringing her is in some ways “bad game.” It seems like a nice thing to do, and, because she’s not from the United States, she has limited options.

Too bad I’ve not banged her friend from her home country. That may be back on the table, though. If I walked in with TWO young hot chicks, I would never hear the end of it. That’s okay with me, as I’m “the black sheep” in some ways among people I know who are somewhat close to my own age. But as my friends and colleagues go through their divorces (usually in ages 35 – 45), some of them are coming around to my point of view. One guy I work with had a lot of subtle but noticeable disapproval of me and my life… until his wife wanted a divorce out of the blue. Now he almost wants to be my disciple, which is kind of strange.

Going back to Ms. Slav, I get the sense that most players are living in NYC, LA, London, or other megapolises where almost everyone stays single a very long time and almost no one has kids. My own non-dating social world  is quite a bit different from that.

Ms. Slav story updates: Enter new girl Peaches

In the last update I said, “I’ve been in a sex whirlwind,” and that is still true. We met this couple (pseudo-couple, I now know) off an app, went out, had a good time getting drinks, and brought them back for sex. It was good, very good for me. But as we were moving to it, the girl dropped that she is… married. Not to the guy she’s with. Interesting. I asked if he’s a low-sex-drive guy and she confirms, or claims, that he is.

I don’t get why a girl like her, we’ll call her Peaches, would get with a low-sex-drive guy. Peaches comes from a somewhat religious family, so maybe she has Christian baggage impeding her. Whatever the case, she has been on birth control since she was a teenager (originally not primarily for contraceptive purposes) and hormonal birth control has not harmed her sex drive a whit.

Both the guy and Peaches are in their 20s, the girl finishing up grad school and no doubt figuring out what to do next. A side thing, a rant really, on grad school: do not go to grad school and then think you’re going to get a professor job. This is false for the vast majority of graduate students. The overwhelming majority of people I know who do graduate school get slower and slower and slower as they move through and realize there is no good job for them at the end. I know guys (and some chicks) who are intellectually smarter than I am, spend 6+ years in school, then get post-doc jobs for $50K a year… less than I was making at 24.

For an intellectually inclined guy, it is okay, straight out of school, to do a two-year master degree, then get out. With a master degree, a guy can do some teaching if he wants and if he can make it work around his real job. Teaching can also be a powerful ecosystem tool for getting chicks, but doing graduate school and thinking, “I can get chicks this way” is an awful way to think, but I do believe I have seen it. A guy is better off with a real job and learning game.

Modern academia, like marriage, is a trap. “Smart” guys who are praised by their college instructors may think academia is a good idea. It is not and it will frequently f**k up your life. As it has for Peaches. She is almost certainly making less money than she would have with an undergraduate nursing degree. She is smart and motivated enough to get through graduate school, and that means she could be a nurse practitioner by now and making $90k+ per year. Instead, she makes far less money than that and works to advance someone else’s career.

Still has incredible tits, though. Nice body overall. Perfectly shaped and proportioned T & A. Can’t figure out why she would marry a guy who is borderline asexual. Ms. Slav has shared some rides with Peaches, and Peaches is pretty dissatisfied with her marriage (can’t say I blame her, if what she says is mostly true). I think I’ve said this before, but there are some reasonable number of women doing group sex and open relationships are freshly divorced or out of long-term relationships and ready to party. This one isn’t divorced yet, but late 20s and high sex drive + asexual husband equals divorce. The husband knows about her sex life. I don’t get him.

I like Peaches’s face a lot because I like her as a whole package, but she’s got a pretty normal, girl-next-door face. I think she’s getting pretty intensely into me. We have great sex chemistry. I’m going to try to break her off from her other guy… I’m better than him in bed, despite being something like 15 years older, and I can see Peaches looking at me and… thinking. Thinking about what she’s going to do next. I’ve been around a lot of girls who are thinking about the branch swing. There is a lot of “money doesn’t matter in game” and “don’t be a provider” comments in the game and Red Pill community. The first one is untrue or slightly true: money isn’t very important in the very short term, but as soon as you get into a regular thing with a chick, it starts to matter if you have none of it. Chicks prefer guys with their shit together, if possible, just like guys prefer younger-hotter, if possible.

It is true that average, game-unaware guys overestimate the importance of money and default towards presenting themselves as providers, both being mistakes. But I see game guys default too far in the other direction. In this foursome, I end up controlling a lot of the narrative and logistics because I have the money and space to pull them off.

So… does money matter? Yes and no. All else being equal, more is better. The older a guy gets, the more true this is. I’ve seen it go every which way in my life. I’ve seen chicks leave pretty well-off guys who bore the chick. She goes off with some couch-surfing guitarist. I’ve seen chicks leave cool artsy alternative guys when the chicks want someone stable and responsible. There is no magic “right” answer because the right answer varies by the chick and how long you’re going to be with her. The longer you’re with her, the more the money matters. Even for Peaches, I see her interest in me. Helps that I’ve banged her unbelievably hard and thoroughly.

A while ago, I was seeing this girl, I think I met her online (so quite a while ago). In her clothes and especially her tight wrap dresses, a good choice on her, she looked delicious. Completely fecund. Curvy in all the right places. I’ve been with girls like that, and when they’re young, they’re fantastic. Eventually got her naked and everything flopped out and down. Like unwrapping an anticipated Christmas present that turns out to be old socks.

I’ve had the opposite happen too. Peaches is the opposite. She looks good but not stunning off the bat. Most guys would probably give her a very high 6 or low 7. Sometimes you’ll see some chick you think is okay, she doesn’t wear very flattering clothes, or she does but you don’t quite know what you’re going to get, and you take it all off and everything is perky, smooth, beautifully flush, and you bump her up a couple notches. You just don’t know till you close her.

Peaches is more of the latter. Looks okay clothed and better nude. I have unusual experience in comparing chicks clothed to chicks nude, due to group sex.

I believe Peaches found this guy, Other Guy, started an affair with him (or talked to her husband first about her sexual needs not being met? I don’t know the story yet) and he’s sort of “the first person available.” Now she’s seeing a guy like me, a better choice in almost every way, and I think she is going to wind up with someone else. Such is the danger of non-monogamy for guys who do not measure up, as I think this guy is.

I was walking out with him one night and mentioned my plans to do the gym the next day. He was like, “Yeah, I should really get in that.” I told him the truth, that I love it, and that I love straining against the iron. I didn’t love it at first, but the love grew over time, especially reading some inspirational literature from Arnold, and from other guys who live life in the Temple of Iron. I’m not one of them… I’m not huge or jacked… but I do love chasing the challenge. A guy who does non-monogamy is going to run into guys who are serious about lifting and diet. That is a danger for the average guy, who is serious about neither, and whose lack of seriousness shows.

I could be wrong. I could try to pull Peaches for one-on-one and fail. It has happened before. But the signs are there. I’ll try for next weekend. I sound awfully arrogant in this section of the post. I’m trying to be honest, though. I have met guys who are better looking and wealthier than me. This one… just isn’t one. Sorry, Other Guy. He’s also a little too PC for me. A little too SJW. Which is fine… I don’t dispute these things all that much in real life. I lead by example, not by derailing good flirting with political talk. But it, his PC-ness, makes me think a little less of him as a man, and it probably also makes normal women just a little bit drier towards him. To normal women, the PC / SJW thing is fine among low-status, non-sexual “allies,” but not so good in guys they actually consider f**king. I just don’t see those PC / SJW guys getting as much. PC / SJW talk is a demonstration of lower value to women, even women who might agree intellectually.

So we’re seeing them again this week. Being with Ms. Slav has been a wild f**king ride, and it continues to be one. I don’t know how long I can do it, though. She parties harder than me. She is amazing in some ways, too much in others. I’m happy to have found her, but I also feel like she is going to be, if not the last, then one of the last girls I do the full, complete, crazy non-monogamy crazy party thing with. The desire is not there as it used to be. But I’m also happy I brought Ms. Slav in. She would have found it eventually, and she is too highly sexed to be suitable for normal relationships.

She is also less discriminating than most girls and less discriminating than me. Usually I control the whole flow from meeting to sex. Ms. Slav is happy to have a LOT of sex in one night, and she has it with people she shouldn’t, in my view. Not that the sex is wrong, but both the guy and the girl in a couple need to bring value to the table. If they do not, she should not be with them, in my view. I have very much internalized the “exchange of value” paradigm that I have written about. Ms. Slav, when she gets turned on, is not as devoted to that paradigm. Very, very unusual.

She says that she has never done online dating, which is surprising to me. It may be that she is willing to f**k whatever guy happens to be in her orbit, so she doesn’t need it.

With Ms. Slav, I think I have changed her entire life trajectory. Her inclinations were already there, but I have opened a door for her. Given her a Red Pill (though not that Red Pill).

It’s a wild ride, like I said, and it’s basically insane. I also find myself feeling oddly lonely at times, as I have not, usually, in the past. Sometimes in the middle of group sex I feel totally alone. I do not know what that means. Something in my psychology is changing.

Ms. Slav is so young that she is the object of virtually every man’s desire. It has been some time since I’ve been in the scene with a girl quite as stunning as her, and the sheer ease of being in the scene with her keeps me attached to it. Almost any girl becomes available. There is an addictive quality to having that be true. Not having to work hard for high-quality tail is extremely appealing. It’s what drives men to the heights of artistic achievement. I don’t want to overstate, as I don’t have a free buffet of 8+ chicks, as high-end actors and musicians do. But I have had and do right now have access to chicks most guys would be quite pleased to nail even after a lot of work. Ms. Slav has beauty and I have reasonable game + connections + logistics. Part of me wants to scale back, as you can tell from reading this. Part of me, however, has stumbled into this amazing situation. It is “easy mode.”

Ms. Slav also, like a lot of hot girls, doesn’t understand that sex isn’t just available “on demand” for guys. If she wants sex, she just gets it. Pretty much every straight man she’s ever met wants to have sex with her. For 98% of guys, it ain’t like that. But for guys, it’s often useful to act like it’s like that. As I do with Ms. Slav.

I think back now to opening Ms. Slav. Every time a guy opens… he doesn’t know what’s going to happen. He’s making things happen. Women very rarely make things happen. Things happen to women. Even Ms. Slav, who is more forward than most women, primarily reacts.

I’ve not been able to get Ms. Slav to ride a bike with me, or go to the gym with me.

Jeremy with the burns

In college I knew a kid, Jeremy, who’d been burned pretty bad in a fire as a child. Part of his torso and upper arm were messed up, as was part of his face. His face wasn’t too f**ked up, but it was misshapen enough to be noticeable. I don’t know if he was naturally on the shorter side or if the fire stunted his growth, but he wasn’t real tall, either. Sounded a little funny, too.

Not a guy you’d expect to do well with the girls, but he made up for his physical problems with personality. He was kind but not a doormat and had an ability to make people feel good about themselves. People, including me, just liked having him around. He’s one of the best listeners I’ve ever met. I’m not sure he consciously thought to himself, “I have this fucked up body, so I have to do well in other respects,” but he might as well have thought about it consciously.

On some level, he realized that his problems with his body meant that he needed to work on his mind and social skills. He must have spent many years doing just that. I doubt he read How To Win Friends and Influence People, but I think he discovered everything in it on his own, like a hedge mathematician who rediscovers already-known theorems.

Today, Jeremy might not be very successful on Tinder, but he knew how to operate in the real world. His natural game was better than mine, even though I had considerable physical advantages over him. Did he care about taking off his shirt? Not a bit. When he’d see people staring at him, he’d call out his own obvious deficiency (“Sick burns, right?”). Instead of trying to hide his deformity, he’d call it out, neutralize it, and then move on. I think people who knew him pretty much stopped seeing the charred skin.

Did he get as many chicks as tall, well-built, gregarious guys? No. No he did not. Did he sometimes get tooled and friend-zoned by hot chicks? Absolutely. But he did pretty damn well by the standards of college and he considerably out-performed what you’d expect. He had a lot of deficiencies and weaknesses, but he worked to turn those weaknesses into strengths. He tried to make up for his physical deficits with his personality… and it worked.

Personality and social skills are probably the hardest things to teach and describe in the game toolkit. That’s probably why newly RP guys are taught to overcome their approach fears, hit the gym, quit sugar, etc. … all activities that are easy to describe and implement. “Learn how to interact with people” “read social cues,” those things are hard.

Jeremy and I lost touch over time, but he did marry a pretty girl (“out of his league” the online punters would say) and had a couple kids. Very normal life trajectory. You could say he overperformed his expectations. I’ve not met anyone quite like Jeremy, but I think of the short guys who become doctors, the guys who realize that if one form of the game doesn’t work, it’s time to play a different game. Every guy who exists today exists because, going back to the beginning of sexual selection, his ancestors made him happen. If his dad and granddad and great-granddad could make him happen, he can make it happen too. He needs to avoid giving into despair. Jeremy could easily have given into despair.

I think about Jeremy sometimes when I read guys’s complaints. Jeremy was a guy with some problems, but he also made it a priority to figure out how to overcome those problems.

I wrote earlier that for the vast majority of guys there is no easy way, there is only the hard way. Every guy is working what he’s got, to get laid. Jeremy had less to work with than many guys, but he got there. Chances are you know a Jeremy in your life, and it’s good to ask yourself what you might be able to learn from him.

The top girl from Seeking Arrangements

I’m getting some questions about older posts, including this one about Seeking Arrangements (I wrote it a long time ago and then re-posted it to this blog after I created it). I had some crappy SA dates that were oddly similar to crappy regular online dates, but I want to focus on the girl I mentioned who I saw for a long time. She was gorgeous and a very solid 8. Conceivably a low 9, although she didn’t dress or act like it. She dressed and acted like a typical college student: jeans, t-shirts, tank-tops, sweatshirts. Okay clothes but she didn’t have a lot of experience with or interest in fashion, maybe because she didn’t have the money to. Inexperienced but not stupid. She was a basic girl in many ways but also ready to shed some of her basic habits like TV, boring social networks, and adopt newer, more interesting habits. She didn’t behave like the hot girl and at the time I don’t think she fully understood how hot she was. Some younger chicks, especially the ones who don’t dress with their chests and butts hanging out, don’t fully understand their power or how to wield it. Some do, of course, and they can be obnoxious, but this one didn’t. I notice that a lot of girls don’t figure out how to wield their sexual power until ages 21 – 23.

I’d gone on dates with some other chicks from SA. Some were not as described, the typical online dating problem. One stands out, as she was an outright pro and pretty, but she wanted an outrageous amount of money, and I laughed in her face. She tried to negotiate downwards, but one key to negotiation is to be ready to walk away. I was ready to walk and promptly did. Real pros are usually a little too brittle and distant for my taste. I notably banged two chicks, one multiple times, and gave that one some money, about $200. But when I found SA girl, I stopped with the SA efforts.

SA Girl looked better than her pictures and was surprisingly demure. In retrospect, she said she found me deeply intimidating but also someone she could easily talk to. I used a lot of open-ended hopes and dreams and peak experience questions, all of which resonated with her. I think she’d gone out only with guys who wanted to get between her legs as fast as they could. They didn’t have good dating or seduction skills, or chose not to use them. Most chicks like to know something of the guy they’re going to let inside them, even if they’re to be paid. SA Girl really responded to hand-holding, one-minute silent eye contact, closing her eyes and visualizing her dreams and future, those kinds of things. I don’t know if I like girls who respond to that kind of thing better, or if girls who like me respond better, but I can get into the “bubble” quickly with it. When it works, it works. We were more compatible than typical people. That sounds like bullshit optimism, but I’ve been a lot of gray online dates. Exceptions stand out.

Our first date was a standard drinks date. My message was typical: “Let’s get a drink at [bar] and see if we’re compatible, and we can go from there.” I actively preferred not to attempt a first-night bang. This girl came in a little black dress (very nice, and also unusual) that I later learned she’d borrowed from a friend. I can’t say exactly how I knew, but I could sense that she wasn’t comfortable in what she was wearing or where she was. It took her time and a lot of comfort effort on my part to open up. Usually I only do hour-long first dates, but I stayed much longer with her, risking being cast as the provider boyfriend type more than the lover guy. We did a quick kiss before we departed, and I told her we should get together for dinner.

On date two a few days later I picked her up (this was before Uber was common) and made dinner and then we fucked. She was very nervous and this affected her performance, but I took a very long time with foreplay and warming her up, which allowed her to relax enough to enjoy it. She wanted to stay over and I slipped an envelope with like $200 in it in her purse. She never asked for money. Next time we got drinks together and she was much less inhibited about sex. The connection was still strong.

I may have been able to keep nailing her free, but if a girl is desperate enough for money, she may do both free and paid sex. I said we should do a $500 a month thing and she immediately agreed. That was a lot of money for her and, based on what I’ve seen since, she doesn’t have the personality for sex work (this is a good thing). She got out of the sex-work grind and I got everything I wanted. Again, I could be wrong and for all I know she was still hooking on the side, but if so she was a master scheduler between school, some normal joe work, and seeing me. It’s never a good idea to underestimate the caginess of women, but this one didn’t display typical signs of sign of outside action, like sudden absences, unaccounted time blocks, extensive phone guarding, etc.

As we learned more about each other, SA Girl said she’d only had sex with three guys before, and while I’m skeptical of these kinds of claims, I somewhat believe it. She’d dated a guy for two or three years, and she seemed surprised at how long I was willing to go down on her and how attentive I was to her reactions during sex. For example, she had extremely sensitive nipples, and her long-term ex either ignored her boobs or was too rough with her, maybe due to porn.

She’d never used sex toys during sex before, and that was a revelation for her. She could come many times by being bent over and having me behind her while she used a vibe on herself. Pretty standard stuff in my world but a total game-changer for her. I think her long-term boyfriend was some combination of young, selfish, and inexperienced. Good sexual communication seemed foreign to her. It took a fair amount of training and openness on my part to get her up to speed, sexually speaking.

Again, to be sure, I can’t say the truth about what she was telling me and what I inferred. Why would she stay with a guy who isn’t that good in bed for such a long time? Young chicks are often dumb and don’t know any better, and she seemed to not know any better. I was much more patient and knowledge than other guys she’d been with, and I may have just hit the right girl with the right stuff at the right time. Or she was flattering my ego. But her behaviors seemed to match her words. That level of congruence is not always common. Players know that sometimes a girl is just into you, for whatever reason, and players know to ride that wave when it hits.

To the extent she wanted sexual adventure, she already had it built into our relationship. Even if I had been interested in a monogamous relationship, she would have been too young to attempt one, apart from how we met.

She was willing to go to sex parties with me and was typically the youngest chick there and always in the top three or five in terms of beauty. Like attracts like, as I’ve written before, and if we found another attractive couple, it was always the couple in the top two or three. As with most things in life, the more value you bring, the more value you get. Some of those couples and women I’m still friends with, long after SA Girl moved away and started some other life (she’s married now, or maybe I should say “for now”).

In my local scene, I’ve been seen with multiple extremely hot chicks. That gives me a standing and reputation that has led to many invitations, events, etc. SA Girl in particular made an impression. Lower-level girls can dress themselves up a level or two, but when all the clothes come off we see who a person really is. When the clothes came off, SA Girl was spectacular.

Eventually it was time for SA Girl to move on, and she talked about either staying in my city or me moving with her. The latter was not feasible for me, in terms of work or family. The former was not wise for her: she would come to resent me, and she was too young for a long-term committed relationship. There were a lot of tears on her part, but, just like I say it is wise to catch and release women who want families, it is good to catch and release young girls for whom a long-term relationship is too early. It is better to let a lover go than to wait until the feeling curdles. Many of you will be familiar with people in high school relationships who try to keep it going at separate colleges, or when the guy leaves for college and the girl goes to high school. It almost never works. My typical strategy for this conversation or set of conversations is to explain that she needs to be free, she needs to explore the world, she needs to see what else is in it: if it is meant to be, she will come back and then we will be together.

Spoiler: I am always right and she doesn’t come back. Or she comes back for some casual sex but not for a long-term relationship. Even then, when I was seeing SA Girl, I knew that no girl under age 25 or 26 is suitable for a long-term relationship. Guys who think otherwise are typically deluding themselves and setting themselves up for drama and heartbreak. At worse, they marry chicks who are too young and set themselves up for expensive divorce. No thank you!

I don’t know what SA is like today, as I’ve not used it or any other paid site in some time. I assume that, if I stay in the game long term, I will eventually turn towards paid sites again. The Internet is of course filled with 55-year-old guys tagging hot 24-year-old chicks, and, while I know from seeing it that that’s possible, it’s also hard to do, even for top guys. And that depends on continued health and wealth. A couple months ago, an acquittance died from cancer. He was in his late 30s with two young kids. News like that makes you think about what you want your life to be about.

For guys, SA and related sites are closer to online dating than is commonly realized. It is possible to blow a disgusting amount of money on lame chicks there. It may also be possible to be very cost-effective. I spent far less money on SA Girl than some guys spend on their divorces, their stupid McMansions, and their Teslas… cars are incredibly overrated as far as game and women are concerned.

I don’t know what SA is like today and right now I feel no urge to find out. I can say this particular girl was worth it. We eventually integrated into each other’s social networks, which was weird and fun for both of us. She liked being around older and sophisticated people. I liked some of her young hot college friends. The ones who weren’t hot and weren’t curious about the world I didn’t spend any time with, because there was nothing we could offer each other. Some of her friends thought it weird she was dating an older guy and some of them were intrigued.

Later I ran into one friend on the street and banged her, so that was a nice bit of pre-selection, but the friend was about a high 6 or so. Nothing special apart from the age disparity, but a nice experience whose seeds had been planted years prior. Many players appear to be wanderers, always finding new cities, cold approaching in new places. I’ve pursued the opposite strategy: living in one place for a long time, knowing it thoroughly, and attempting to build and maintain networks in that place.

The beta is strong in this one

I don’t love the terms “alpha male” and “beta male,” but sometimes they just fit too well to ignore, like in the sex diary about “The New Mom Feeling Nostalgic for Her Lap-Dancing Days.” This woman is married to a beta male and has a toddler, though it’s not clear whether the baby is actually her husband’s:

Damn, I lived it up.

I was pursuing musical theater in New York. I was hot. I was a dancer and top earner at a members-only traveling lap-dance party. C would visit me. He’d get hard watching me dance topless, legs spread, reverse-cowgirl style, closer and closer to the eyes of a well-dressed Wall Street exec. C would follow my ass, and we’d lock eyes as I simultaneously led another finance dude to “get comfortable.” Well, those days are gone.

Most guys should be smart enough to know not to get in serious relationships with sex workers. This one seems not to know that.

Today is the day C works from home and I get to see J, my Sugar Daddy. I busted my ass in class today; I’m going to look hot.

J is somewhat new. We’ve been fucking once a week for three months. He gives me an allowance of $3,000 per month. I’m saving it all to go to nursing school. Plus, we’re planning on moving in a month, out of my mom’s house. We need all the money we can get right now. We never intended to be here for more than a couple months. C knows about J — he gets off on the idea of another guy jerking off to me on the regular.

This guy is working and taking care of a baby, so that his wife can go f**k another guy for cash? No way.

And this other guy is paying an older woman who’s already had a kid $3,000 a month for sex? WTF? Even in Silicon Valley, he should be able to get much better value for his money. Unlike some Red Pill guys, I’m not opposed to paying for it (in the right circumstances), but $750 per lay with an older woman is crazy.

If guys are wondering why a lot of women are outrageously entitled, look no further.

I’m an only child, and my parents are divorced. I’ve always had a rocky relationship with my dad, but my mom always supported me in theater. I went to a private Catholic high school

Bad relationship with the father… into theater… the red flags as far as long-term relationships go just pile up.

She looking at yet another guy to f**k for money, too.

I believe that, in the course of seven days, she f**ks one guy for cash, goes on a date for another, and never manages to lay her husband:

C is pining for a blow job. I offer sex — that’s my test. If he rejects sex, I know he’s just lazy and wants to come effortlessly. Sorry, C, no can do. I’m just as lazy and tired as you are right now. C masturbates. I like to listen by the door. I am a closet voyeur. I love the idea of watching a guy totally uninhibited, unaware that he’s being watched. It turns me on the most.

She’ll get it up for the guy paying, but not for the man she lives with and she’s married to. Diagnosis for husband: Beta.

My only hope is that the story is fantasy, not reality. From a man’s perspective, the whole story is “what not to do.”

Did it

Despite the “Story update on the 20-year-old,” we did get together late last night, which caused suffering today but was worth it. I’ve also remembered something I discovered a long time ago: the greater the logistical hassles, the more my interest declines in the girl. The older I get, the greater this effect.

Sometimes, however, this can have a paradoxical effect. I lose interest, and the girl gets more interested because she senses my uninterest. More often, I lose interest and so does she. That’s probably why I have so many long and pretty cold leads, and why sudden re-ignitions or techniques like this can work.

Speaking of the 20-year-old, there will likely be one or two days of overlap between her getting back and me leaving. No idea whether that will work. I’m still into her, but flakey or just logistically complicated girls turn me off over time.

I’m beat, but there are probably a handful of you curious about the (mostly surprise) outcome. I also have two pretty good pieces coming along, based on replies to comments.

Still not sure I’m actually going to see this one again.