Women hate weak men: I’m leading with that generalization because a friend’s girl went out with a guy who kept asking her if this was okay, if that was okay, if what he said was okay, etc. With seemingly everything he said and did, he needed direct, explicit feedback from her indicating that what he was acceptable. Women, though, want guys who know how to lead and who can read a woman and understand where she’s at regarding him, and there’s also something to be said for being a guy who does what he wants and doesn’t appear to care what other people think, in a socially calibrated way. Paying attention to the woman’s tone, affect, and body language isn’t that hard to do.
The girl said her date’s behavior was a huge turn-off to her. He’d become the pathetic male feminist, who listens to what the NYT writes and what NPR says, and thus understands nothing about what or who actual women want. He didn’t f**k that night, and he should read Red Quest instead of the hyperwoke NYT. Don’t pay attention to what people say, pay attention to what they do. Regarding women, pay attention especially to who they do: it’s not the woke male feminists.
But, there is some danger in reading the paragraph above, because the exact opposite of the “is this okay?” guy isn’t right, either. It’s not like that guy, or any guy, should ignore everything about a woman’s preferences. Being boorish is wrong, most of the time, with most women. There’s an in-between state that is optimal: women love it when guys can “read” them and get them. If she’s on a date with you, chances are she’s more into you than not. Getting to this state of being bold and decisive without being overbearing is key, and in some ways this post elaborates on The top player (seducer) is an extreme insider or an extreme outsider, but not average.