After this girl got in my head, I’ve felt the overwhelming urge to over-contact her. I know intellectually that to give into that urge is a mistake (the same urge I felt with the girl in the last third of this post). Any time I start to think about her, and the crush brewing, I have to stop myself and ask the key question, “Will you sending her something right now raise your chances or lower them?”
I know the answer is “lower them.” If you, dear reader, know anything about game, you know that little kills attraction as fast as neediness. But in my excitement about her, I want to send her a text or Snapchat; yes, she’s so young she still uses Snapchat. I want her to be as excited about me as I am about her, but I’m pretty sure she’s not.
This is also a problem I have in particular with girls who let me go in bare. The connection is much, much stronger and deeper than if I wear a condom. With a condom it’s still good, don’t get me wrong, but it’s never as overpowering and amazing and connecting as it is without. Online, everyone claims to consistently use condoms. Offline, in the real world, it’s another story.
The more general lesson about game is that game teaches guys to do things that are “unnatural” or that they wouldn’t think to do on their own. It’s like boxing or yoga in that respect. In boxing, you must be trained to step back with your back foot, or a trained opponent will smite you. In yoga, most of us don’t think carefully about our alignment and range of motion unless we receive specific training in it. In game, it’s often best to cold approach strangers (not my strongest skillset to be honest). To not contact as much as you’d like to contact.
There are others, I’m sure, and if you’re a guy reading this and have good examples, leave them in the comments or write about them on your own blog. I’m sure I’m missing many examples.
Another (possible) example: inexperienced, stupid guys have a tendency to put a girl on a pedestal, which is exactly the wrong frame. The right frame is to understand that for pretty much every pretty girl out there, some guy is fucking her. My goal as a man is to be that guy.
The best thing I can say to the girl from Thursday, this weekend, is nothing. I got a strong positive Snapchat from her on Friday morning, reciprocated somewhat Friday evening, and got something back from her right after I sent it, but I know I need to chill the fuck out. The next time I can plausibly see her is Monday. It bugs to me to know there’s a very good chance she’s out partying and possibly fucking other guys this weekend, but I have no strong way to counter that and personal commitments as well.
I need to focus on my goals for this weekend, but the girl from Thursday keeps popping into my head. Because this seems hard to me, I write them out instead. It’s hard for me not to open Darktable on my MacBook and check out the pics I took, but I know that’s a mistake for my psychologically. Part of the game (part of being alive and effective, really) is managing your own psychology. Typically I’m pretty good at this, but this one has lodged in my head. It’s probably just her hotness that’s fogging me. I need to put her out of my mind and hope that writing this will let me do so.