(WARNING: This post is another ramble. Skip it if you want to read anything useful.)
When you’ve done it all, what then? When you’ve smoked all the crack, eaten all the chocolate, had all the sex, made all the money, and been on all the talk shows—where do you go next? Because there it is, squatting on the far side of adulation: nothingness. “Celebrities,” the Buddhist scholar Robert Thurman once said, “are in a very interesting position. They’ve already achieved great fame, success, and wealth, and they’ve realized that those things alone don’t bring happiness; that, in fact, they can be a real pain in the neck.” Or, as Russell Brand puts it, tunneling toward enlightenment in the 2015 documentary Brand: A Second Coming, “Fame and power and money is bullshit.”
Fame and power and money are not bullshit (look how he’s not giving any of them up), but there is a little something to this idea, and I’ve heard variations on this theme from many famous people. When enough people independently repeat the same idea, there’s probably something to it, even if you don’t buy the whole of it. Brand is asking, what happens when you’ve achieved the goals? I’ve had a lot less sex than Brand and made a lot less money and been on zero talk shows, but I have had a fair amount of sex (a lot by the standards of normal men) and made enough money to be not too worried about money. To the extent the game is for me about “proving to myself that I can do it,” I’ve… proved it.
I ask myself, what is “the deep psychology that keeps men in the game?” Despite recent posts and stories about chicks, I feel like I’m on my way out of the game: but out of the game and into… what? I don’t know. There’s a reason a lot of players hit 35 – 40 and quit their game blogs. There is some diminishing marginal utility, and some sense of, “Oh, this again.” In the moment it can be intoxicating, I don’t and will never deny it, but especially afterwards I’m still myself, still doing what I do, still wondering what I wonder.
It’s not productive to chase “happiness” (what is “happiness?”). So what is the next goal? In my post-puberty life, the goal has been chasing skirt, and that’s been good. Sometimes I chat with guys my age who are filled with longing and fantasy they think will never be fulfilled, because they think they missed out on some experience or other when they were young. I feel bad for those guys. But I also know the reality is that, the day after you fulfill your fantasy, you will still wake up and face the day and live the life. You aren’t really different after the threesome or the hottest 9 or college cheerleader or whatever the sexual fantasy may be.
For me writing could be the answer. I’ve considered writing a game blog before, but I worried it would take too much focus away from work and the rest of my life (I was right about that). But game blogs are best written as they happen. I’ll probably end up devolving into stupid stuff like ranting about modern feminism. Not nearly as interesting as banging actual chicks. But I think I’m going to end up in a longer-term relationship at some point, with someone. The horror, right? I just have to figure out what that relationship will be about.
Most male-female couple relationships are about
- Bearing and raising children.
- (Often) the guy subsidizing the chick while she does #2.
Modern relationships are f**ked up because game-aware guys don’t need long-term relationships for sex. They shouldn’t marry regarding number two. So what are modern relationships about? Helping someone achieve a life project or becoming a better person, probably. But most chicks are utterly incapable of doing either… no wonder most long-term relationships are dysfunctional. The things marriage used to be based on are dead or radically altered. We’re part of a culture that says no one should sacrifice for anyone else’s good, including the good of a person’s children.
Modern relationships are also f**ked up because chicks used to have some brakes on their hypergamy and internal disquiet in the form of family, religion, and the social structure created by both. Now chicks have materialism, unrealistic expectations, readily available divorce, and advertising/marketing. The social structure created by those is unstable, and it leads many chicks not to marry because they can’t find the “right” guy, or, if they can, they want a better one.
So what is there, for guys? Right? Most guys chase sex, money, status… the latter two just being proxies to get to the sex.
The weird thing is “getting there.” A guy gets the sex, the money (enough), the status (enough), and… then what? I’m pretty much there. Not as there as Russell Brand or other celebrities. I’m not that delusional. But much more so “there” than the typical guy. But I’m not a Buddhist. I’m not content to just be.
I don’t know how many guys get in this state. I think most guys never nail enough chicks to think, “Okay, I’ve just nailed a bunch of chicks, now what?” It’s a self-indulgent question and problem. Self-indulgent or not, I think about it. I’ve not “done it all.” I don’t think there is such a thing. But I’ve done a lot.
The true pickup “artists” may keep going into senescence. An artist keeps making art until incapacity or the end. I don’t think pickup or railing chicks is my art, despite my penchant for making porn, sometimes called “erotic art” to chicks who need that frame. I could need a true art. A kind of weird statement for a commerce guy like me.