“Truths About The Red Pill, Seduction And Why RP May Actually Be Hurting Your Success With Women.”

Truths About The Red Pill, Seduction And Why RP May Actually Be Hurting Your Success With Women.” It’s a post from a game blog I’ve only recently heard of. Don’t believe everything you read, but it’s an interesting post. He also links to a post I wrote and submitted to Reddit, “Ride a motorcycle—for fun, transport, and dating.” A lot of the Reddit commentary was in fact bitchy and missed the point.

Notice how most guys are risk, adverse? They’re Alpha type guys (supposedly) but are afraid to get on a bike. Yes. It’s dangerous. Yes. It’s exhilarating. And it’s this exact quality of doing dangerous shit, getting into trouble and exploring the world that women fucking LOVE.

They love it.

But for the most part, it’s the artists that are able to live this type of life. Mr Tough Guy is probably not going to enjoy risk as much as the artist.

Only thing I disagree with here is that motorcycles are much less dangerous than commonly assumed. I don’t ride on highways and am very conservative on it. Young, high-risk guys are attracted to motorcycles, making the data on them highly skewed.

Chicks LOVE going for motorcycle rides, especially on an electric bike with lots of torque. Chicks find being on the motorcycle… stimulating… for the reasons you would expect. It’s a good idea to find a 4 – 10 mile route, with a good stop-off point halfway to two-thirds through. Stop there, take a kiss break while she’s revved up from the ride, resume home.

He also has a memoir-type post, recounting his journey.

The university mess up and the dorm bicycle

As a university freshman I had a “friend,” we’ll call her Kate, who had a boyfriend at another school out-of-state. She talked about him quite a bit while sober… then would get drunk and become the dorm/school bicycle. If I remember correctly, my roommate had a ride pretty early on.

One night she knocked on my door late at night and came in crying because she’d f**ked some guy who apparently only lasted a minute, then she saw him kissing another girl later that night. She ran up to him, slapped him, and ran away. You may be thinking, “This is just another crazy chick,” but apart from that and some of her sex habits, she seemed pretty normal. She got into bed with me and eventually finished up crying. She was wearing sweatpants and a tank top or something like that.

As the conversation petered out, I was trying to decide if I should try to f**k her or not… and I decided not to. Or I was too scared to. I think I didn’t go for her more because of the residual boyfriend guilt than anything else. So there was this super-available, pretty girl… and I didn’t hit it.

But Kate’s madness was an early reference experience that clued me into the idea that what I saw on society’s surface, was (is) different than what’s actually going on. Knowing what I know today, of course the obvious thing is to bend her over, rail her (protected!), and then send her on her way, or just kick her out and tell her to find another orbiter to cry on, but I was not so advanced then. Thinking of myself, then vs. now, is also why I’m willing to entertain and respond to more newbie questions than some guys will… myself at that age did not have the comprehension that I do now. I also didn’t understand that lots of chicks will cheat and for that reason it’s fine to take shots at married chicks or women with boyfriends. If she is going to cheat, I want to let her cheat with me!

At the end of her first year, Kate transferred to her boyfriend’s college… and then broke up with him! This is one of the many reference experiences that can be distilled into the macro point that chicks are random. (See also.) In my younger life I spent a lot of time and mental energy trying to logic out chicks’s behaviors, and it took an embarrassingly long time to reach the “chicks are random” conclusion that most players eventually find. Trying to be overly analytical about an individual chick is foolish. Across many chicks, you can discern patterns, but a single chick is likely to be a random collection of impulses that she doesn’t understand, let alone you. Often if you try to probe for the logic behind a chick’s actions, you’ll get total nonsense, and if you probe too hard, the chick will just get angry. “Why don’t guys just get it?” she thinks. She knows that what she feels in the moment is reality, so guys should understand that too.

Right after college, Kate moved back to my city and I made the mistake of inviting her to a fairly formal party. We went and I tried to bang her after. She still looked good, although less good than she had at age 18/19, but she wouldn’t let me bang her. I was disappointed and still had some residual of the mindset that since we’d had a fancy “date,” we should f**k at the end. Obviously, experienced players know that’s a stupid mindset. She had yet another boyfriend who was supposed to move to our city in a couple months.

After that night, I stopped contacting her, although she kept contacting me for a couple weeks after. I had learned enough to give up on chicks I wanted to bang, but who weren’t going to bang me. I think she saw me as soft and safe (she was somewhat correct about that at the time) and I didn’t want to be in that frame.

So Kate. At some point we were Facebook friends, and we may have done some chatting on Facebook like 10 years ago, but I just tried to look her up to see what she’s like today and discovered she must have unfriended me. That is okay with me, because I can’t imagine having anything to say to her today, but I remember her because of how f**king puzzled I was as a freshman just learning how chicks really work.

Addendum to the fashion post: figure out your weaknesses

After reading the comments to fashion and clothes for players, I thought about the two black guys I’ve known who did well with white chicks. Both of them did the basic stuff right, like lifting, but they also dressed “up” at least one level compared to anyone else in a given situation. If everyone else wore jeans and t-shirts, they’d be in dress pants and a collared shirt. They wore suits much more often than I would recommend for the typical guy.

Why? Since neither was (or is) stupid, they understood that they needed to play against and overcome stereotype. That meant dressing better than the average guy, speaking better than the average guy, and being friendlier/warmer/more smiley than the average white guy. Their (probably subconscious) goal was to communicate to chicks, “I am friendly and am not going to hurt you. I have my life together.” Their goal was to avoid the immediate reaction (which, sorry black guys reading this, is often justified in everyday experience).

My goal is usually to NOT appear like a boring office drone. Given my life and personality, I need to increase my implied “edge” and not seem to boring. Both the guys I’m thinking of, needed to convey other ideas to functional, middle-class chicks and higher. Contrary to what you may see in porn or elsewhere in anxious men’s writing, most functional chicks are NOT attracted to low-class and ghetto behaviors / personas. The exceptions tend to make for spectacular stories, but they are exceptions.

It’s possible that lower-class/ghetto behaviors are effective with equivalent girls, but I don’t know a lot about the bottom-level world of true social and economic dysfunction. My sense is that most chicks in it are fat/ugly by their early 20s if not sooner. When I did conventional online dating I would run into occasional girls from that world, and even had sex with a few, but we never really got along correctly because the cultural/intelligence chasm between us was too wide. Plus, as I said, I think most chicks in that culture have terrible diet and exercise habits, so even if they start off as attractive teenagers, the decline is swift. Perhaps other guys can chime in with experiences.

There might also be a world of super rich people hooking up mostly with each other, or where the guys have so much money that the gap between “paying for it directly” and “implicitly paying indirectly” is very small. In this world, maybe it makes sense to wear $5,000 in fancy clothes that other ultra-rich people can recognize. But if this world exists, it’s very small and immaterial to me, as well as to virtually all guys who aren’t already in it.

Truthfulness, reality, politics, the Red Pill

This is another garbage politics essay, so you might as well go read the Ms. Slav saga, which is much more interesting and features a bunch of hot sex too. Plus girl management, which I may be doing somewhat poorly in her case. Also, no one has the attention to read and think about anything in depth, including this missive, which is why politics look like they do. That is not an endorsement of your side, by the way.

A commenter addressed a side note stashed into another post,

“It’s weird and incongruent to be interested in truthfulness and reality while at the same time admiring one of the greatest grifters in U.S. history.”

Thank you for this. One of the things that drives me absolutely nuts about TRP is the insane and completely irrational devotion to conservatism and [well-known political figure] in particular. You’re spot on: it’s 100% incongruent.

TRP, boiled down to its essence, is about the rational application of power and action to improve a man’s life with specific regard to his sex life, understanding the world, not as we’re told or want it to be, but how it actually is in reality.

I wrote a post on the reddit sub the other day I eventually just decided to take down about why guys shouldn’t be so freaked out about feminism and to focus on the signal vs. the noise–as in, how to discern if a woman actually is actually a crazy, man-hating feminist, or if she’s merely someone who nods to the notion but doesn’t actually care. TL;DR–most women, in my experience, don’t actually give a shit, and in fact want alpha Chads with a dominant frame because #evolution.

The reaction I got was no upvotes and guys questioning whether or not I was a woman. I don’t really care–simply trying to contribute, but what I’ve found is that if you go against the orthodoxy in any way, dudes get super defensive.

I’ve been thinking about this and have concluded a couple things, including that a) most people want to divide themselves into tribes and then go whack the other tribe over the head with sticks, and b) politics is one of these areas, like religion or philosophy, where belief is almost totally removed from and segregated from consequences. If you have poor game, or low masculine value, chicks won’t f**k you, and there is a direction linkage between the two. I also think most guys are more apolitical than conservative, but if you post typical us-vs-them political things, people get riled up and have to stick their oar in. Politics is the noisy screaming in the street, with people rushing to see the fight, while thinking happens with the guy sitting in the coffee shop, reading a book and thinking about the book while 100 people stream past him towards the square.

There are some other things going on too…

1. The crazy social-justice-warrior, angry-feminist left is legitimately awful. So guys think, “What is the opposite of that? Let me go do that instead.” No one thinks for themselves. Most people select either|or, instead of looking for third ways, or simply saying, “Neither.” If SJWs are on the left, then I must be on the right, right? Errrrrr… no… but that is how the typical person thinks.

2. Most people want a “system” to follow. Religion used to provide this. Today, religion is mostly dead, and so guys find politics instead. Once a typical person buys into a political party or system, they stay with that system, even when it is bad, or has bad outcomes. It’s useful to think to yourself, “If I didn’t know the source of quote x, and it came from a guy on the other side instead of the guy on my side, what would I think of it?” This goes back to politics as a team sport instead of independent thinkers.

3. TRP and seduction probably selects for guys who have been unsuccessful with or hurt by women. Probably guys with bad childhoods too. Guys who are getting what they want from dating, women, etc. are probably not spending a lot of time debating pickup tactics online or getting super angry about politics they barely affect.

4. It turns out that the core elements of game and pickup, while not exactly “easy,” can be mastered and, once mastered… there is not a gigantic amount to say. Thus lay reports becoming kind of repetitive. Once a guy is getting laid, what else can he talk about… how feminism sucks, or politics? Then that attracts other guys.

5. Certain current U.S. political leaders are doing serious, long-term damage to the American system itself and to the right/Republican party. This is not coming from a leftist or SJW, by the way. That nihilistic trolls might embrace him, makes sense. That anyone who is not a nihilistic troll might, makes no sense, but who said the world had to make sense?

Not me.

Unfortunately, “The Twitter Takeover of Politics Is Just Getting Started.” The level of political thinking of Red Pill / player guys is barely better than the SJWs and leftists who have become The Great Satan. Everyone is looking to hit the other team on the head with rhetorical sticks, while the other team is looking to hit “us” on the head with sticks. The clearest manifestation of this is the bizarre glee about the grifter who is presently on top of the United States’s Executive Branch.

At the same time, most people’s political knowledge is abysmal. Don’t take my word on this, read The Myth of the Rational Voter instead. In fact if you have not read this book, go read it before you consider commenting on this essay. That you probably won’t, is indicative of the problem.

To quote myself, “Markets are beautiful because they separate the lies people say (meaning, most of what people say) from what people actually want.” Politics have attenuated markets of sort in the form of voting, which is better than nothing, but it’s still pretty crappy. People are very insulated from their decisions. If you make bad game and life decisions you will not f**k hot chicks. Bad political decisions take a long time to propagate (remember that Chavez was initially legitimately elected in Venezuela, for example, and Nixon was legitimately elected in the United States). So people use politics as a signaling mechanism and are rather insulated from most political decisions. The kinds of people who take to Twitter to be SJWs on the left, then get image-matched by people who take to Twitter to be right-wing trolls and agitators on the right.

You may also notice that, in any forum devoted to a topic with good feedback loops, a political discussion descends into idiocy. Game and RP is no different. With game, the feedback loop is short and clear. A guy who improves his game knowledge, sees changes quickly. In politics, the feedback loop isn’t there; a guy who improves his political knowledge… sees nothing change. He may vote a little bit differently but still suffers from the myths of the irrational voters, mentioned above. The historical knowledge isn’t there. Neither is the incentive to improve. The market quality isn’t there. Voters are attenuated from individual decisions, and guys writing online about politics are also attenuated.

You put all these effect together and you get guys spouting “conservative” “Red Pill” slogans. No one can get past their identity to look at the data, to quote myself again. People who can do that, who can think in terms of systems, who can process past events and see how they might be able to apply to the future… those people are rare. People who can parrot back identity-bashing slogans… they are common. Including in the Red Pill.

Most RP/seduction guys have failed at normal dating, are too low status to achieve their desires in normal dating, or are otherwise dissatisfied with what they’re getting. Often, they’ve never learned what women are actually attracted to, or how to be attractive to women. Then they think, “If that is a lie, what else is a lie?” Thus, the spread to politics.

Now that you understand why RP guys can get taken in by marketing grifters and confidence men, can you can vote appropriately, or work on building your business, or go hit on chicks instead of screaming about politics online.

Today, the real question is about how the liberal west is going to respond to the rise of China. Neither the grifter in the White House nor Britain obsessed with Brexit is even thinking about, let alone dealing with, this issue. We squabble, they work. Think about that.

Fashion and clothes for players

Johnny Caustic asks, “Hey RQ, what *do* you wear to hit hot young chicks? I’m wondering whether bad boy wear or formal wear is more effective for the older player.” Fashion is a massive topic and not an area of expertise for me; there is a guy named Tanner Guzy who might be okay on this… I, for the most part, can’t be arsed to do fashion really well. But I do know that the majority of guys need to worry first about gym, then about fit, then about shoes, then everything else. If you do gym + fit + shoes correctly, a lot of the other stuff is a bonus.

My typical top-level goal is to look put-together and adult but also cool. Wearing a suit is very adult but probably not cool to most chicks in their 20s. Suits are usually too try-hard outside of weddings or courtrooms. Wearing a t-shirt for an underground band or for a sport may be cool but is not very adult. If I could get away with it I’d happily wear jeans and sweatshirts 24/7, or shorts and t-shirts in the summer, but I don’t want to try and imitate college students, as I think I’d just look stupid. I also don’t want to look like every fat IT worker you’ve ever seen.

Those are some principles… don’t follow rules blindly without knowing principles behind them. For specifics, I like dark jeans or gray slacks w/ t-shirt (usually black, although red can work nicely for contrast) and dark gray or black blazer. Black shoes, preferably leather, and/or boots. Put your energy into fit. “Well-fitting” is the most important part of fashion. If you’re a high school or college student, the look I’m describing be too “adult” for you. I try to avoid dress shirts. Depending on my work schedule, that isn’t always possible. I have a personal aversion to suits and ties, leading to some at work calling me “the hipster.” Not totally inaccurate.

Leather jacket is good in very cold weather, and maybe a duffel coat to vary the look if necessary.

To get good fit, tailoring is useful, as most clothes are made for average fat guys. A $10 – $20 tailoring job on a $20 item of clothing to make it fit is better than a $100 item of clothing that doesn’t fit properly. Why do Hollywood guys look good in their black tees and henleys? 1) Those guys work out hard and 2) They (or their stylists) get their t-shirts tailored to fit their bodies. Most guys are either fat or wear t-shirts that have at least two inches and often more of excess material on each side of the shirt. Fix that with a tailor. Many tailors will be confused when you ask for clothes that fit, as most guys want clothes that are “comfortable” (too loose).

For a long time I was anti-accessory but now I think a necklace and rings are an improvement and give chicks something to ask about. I like black leather cuffs; chicks who ask about them are usually into BDSM as well. Amazon has loads of cheap and okay jewelry. A search for “Masculine jewelry” will do you fine. I like black rings and they are like $8 on Amazon. Etsy is also fine for this. The “story” around the item matters more than the item. Lots of these are cool, albeit a little pricey. Chicks don’t know the difference between $10, $100, or $1,000 accessories, so why bother getting $1,000 accessories?

For brands, in shoes I like Allen Edmonds, Alden, Common Projects, Hugo Boss, and Wolf & Shepherd. The specific shoe or boot is less important than it being a) comfortable/easy to walk in and b) leather, preferably black. For leather shoe guys, shell cordovan #8 is also cool. IMO shoes are a place to spend more rather than less, as good ones will last many years and can be re-soled. Most of these are expensive, but Allen Edmonds does sales, factory seconds, etc. that will get the cost under $200. If you can visit New York or LA, you’ll be able to try a wide selection of many of these shoes.

For shirts there are too many good ones to care much. J. Crew and Banana Republic both make good black shirts. Ribbed Tee is good.

For jeans, there are also too many good dark jeans to care much. Gap, Lucky, whatever brand is fine. I don’t know why people spend $200 on jeans but I guess some guys do that. If you are trim or athletic, buy jeans larger than you think you need and have the waist taken in. For other pants, I like Outlier (prefer gray) or Bonobos. I also love to bike, which I’ve mentioned, and Outlier is made for biking and being wearable in offices/on dates.

Most luxury brands are NOT WORTH IT. They are 2 – 20x the price for like 10% better quality, if that. Fashion is, like a lot of game basics, a field where 10% greater efforts yields 80 or even 90% of the benefit. It is easy to get hooked into the bogus hedonic treadmill around clothes. Chicks will notice fit and coordination and little else.

Guys who try to optimize their way into the 95% or 96% percentiles in men’s fashion are wasting their time and avoiding approach. There is often a temptation to say to yourself, “If I can improve this one thing 10% more that will help me a lot.” It probably won’t. If you are already squatting your body weight or 1.25x your body weight for reps, getting to 1.5x your body weight will not help you much. You’ll already be where you need to be. There are diminishing returns to most activities.

For most guys, getting style to be “good enough” is more than okay. I also do fairly simple colors, mostly dark blue (jeans), black, gray, sometimes color splashes.

Big thing/challenge for me is to avoid looking like a corporate drone. Other guys will have different challenges. High school/college students may have niche preferences I’m not aware of, so if you’re a younger guy still in school, I don’t know how useful this all will be.

Most guys into the game seem to be nerdy white and Asian guys who need more edge, so let’s address a different case… I can think about the two black guys I’ve known who did well with white chicks. Both did the basic stuff right, like lifting, but they also dressed “up” at least one level compared to anyone else in a given situation. If everyone else wore jeans and t-shirts, they’d be in dress pants and a collared shirt. They wore suits much more often than I would recommend for the typical basic guy.

Why? Since neither was (or is) stupid, they understood that they needed to play against and overcome stereotype. That meant dressing better than the average guy, speaking better than the average guy, and being friendlier/warmer/more smiley than the average white guy. Their (probably subconscious) goal was to communicate to chicks, “I am friendly and am not going to hurt you. I have my life together.” Their goal was to avoid the immediate negative reaction (which, sorry black guys reading this, is often justified in everyday experience).

My goal is usually to NOT appear like a boring office drone… given my life and personality, I need to increase my implied “edge” and not seem to boring. Both the guys I’m thinking of, needed to convey other ideas to functional, middle-class chicks and higher. Contrary to what you may see in porn or elsewhere in anxious men’s writing, most functional chicks are NOT attracted to low-class and ghetto behaviors / personas. The exceptions tend to make for spectacular stories, but they are exceptions.

It’s possible that lower-class/ghetto behaviors are effective with equivalent girls, but I don’t know a lot about the bottom-level world of true social and economic dysfunction. My sense is that most chicks in it are fat/ugly/single moms by their early 20s if not sooner. When I did conventional online dating I would run into occasional girls from that world, and even had sex with a few, but we never really got along correctly because the cultural/intelligence chasm between us was too wide. Plus, as I said, I think most chicks in that culture have terrible diet and exercise habits, so even if they start off as attractive teenagers, the decline is swift. Perhaps other guys can chime in with experiences.

There might also be a world of super rich people hooking up mostly with each other, or where the guys have so much money that the gap between “paying for it directly” and “implicitly paying indirectly” is very small. In this world, maybe it makes sense to wear $5,000 in fancy clothes that other ultra-rich people can recognize. But if this world exists, it’s very small and immaterial to me, as well as to virtually all guys who aren’t already in it.

I’m typically targeting urban, college-educated white chicks, with some Asian or Hispanic chicks thrown in. I’m pretty happy with European chicks as well. There may be a group of redneck chicks who like guys who hunt and work construction, or whatever it is that rural people do. For all I know, those chicks might find me weird and effeminate. Women tend to cluster in urban areas and men tend to cluster in rural areas, but there are obviously women in rural areas and if you’re into those women my strategies might not be optimal for you. A guy who shows up in Carharts on a date in the heart of a city and who is deeply into working on his truck, or whatever rural guys do, is probably not going to do well with urban chicks. There is an element of market targeting to this, and I have spent my entire life in a suburban/urban professional-class milieu.

Back to me and my world…. things not to wear:

1. Sandals.

2. Polo shirts (in most cases; sometimes nice, fitted ones made of mercerized cotton are okay in intense summer heat).

3. Short shorts. Overly long shorts. Most shorts should end just above the knee and don’t wear them unless it’s f**king hot out. Don’t wear shorts on dates unless you’re going to a beach.

4. Pleated kahki pants. Most khakis, actually.

5. Cargo pants (I like them for utilitarian purposes but zero women think they’re sexy).

6. Most sports shoes, unless you’re doing a sport.

7. Ill-fitting suits in particular. Most guys buy shitty suits that don’t fit.

8. Most hats apart from unadorned baseball caps. Sometimes called “Directors caps.”

For most guys, getting the fashion part right enough is fine.

Things I’d still like to know:

1. How do you find collared shirts w/ sleeves you can roll up in the summer that don’t make you look too corporate/boring?

I’m sure someone will pipe up about how expensive clothes are. I’d say most of the basics (pants, shoes, blazer, leather jacket) will last many, many years. T-shirts will be replaced more frequently. If you buy everything recommended all at once the cost may be high; most of the better things I have were acquired over years. If you really can’t afford anything then you may want to worry about your income and job skills first, and rely on jeans/t-shirts and a leather jacket alone.

The big takeaway is, “It works for me.” If you just get fit right and don’t look stupid, you’re ahead of most guys.

Krauser on Blackdragon

The post is quite funny, so go read it. I would guess that it’s about 30 – 50% true, 20 – 30% untrue, and 20 – 40% indicative of the mind, psychology, and beliefs of the writer, rather than telling us much about the person being written about… you might apply the same tripartite structure to my own writing.

  • To my eye, Blackdragon looks okay, maybe fine, in the pictures, though it’s hard to say how the pics would translate to real life. Anyone who has done some amount of photography knows pics can be deceiving. Could have good presence in real life that doesn’t come through.
  • Anyone I know who might be an “alpha male” never calls himself an “alpha male.”  If I ever call myself an “alpha male,” except in jest, please quit reading.
  • I missed that BD said a 37-year-old woman is “what most men would consider a 9 or 10 unless you don’t like blonde white women.” Few women are a 9 past age 25 or 26, let alone 30. Most 8s have dropped to 7 by 30. That is fine and, for long-term relationships, there is far more to be said for a chick than her absolute hotness level, but I don’t get the point of pretending a chick is something she’s not. I don’t see a lot of real-world 8s, period (obesity epidemic drags most chicks down), and fewer 9s. Lots of 7s, especially among chicks in their 20s, but not a huge number of true 8s. He says somewhere else that he likes older chicks, for some weird reason related to his life development. That’s fine but let’s not pretend older chicks are hotter. None of this is even controversial. Everyone has moments of suspect judgment, but there are also assertions that make an intelligent listener question everything else a speaker claims.
  • I also laughed at the Krauser post because some of the values expressed in the post  conflict with some of the values expressed elsewhere in his corpus.
  • But, despite caveats, I do think Blackdragon has at times a more realistic perspective on long-term relationships than many people. Almost no pickup guys talk about relationships (maybe they aren’t interested, maybe they lack underlying substance, maybe something else is going on). I don’t think I’ve read Krauser’s views on this subject… they might be out there, somewhere. He doesn’t seem tuned to, or to care about, long-term relationships. The game/pickup artist skillset and the long-term relationship skillset overlap, but there is a lot of non-overlap. It seems to me that doing pure pickup is exhausting, time consuming, and often impractical.
  • I doubt almost anyone, let alone BD, can make enough money in books, seminars, etc. to make the attempt worthwhile. I’m skeptical of the “make money online!” guys. None of them ever seems to post audited financial statements or tax returns… I wonder why. BD is one of those guys and it makes him come off as scummy or a scammer, and someone who doesn’t have the supposed business success he claims to have. There’s no real evidence of his business success or acumen, that I’ve seen. If it’s out there please let me know. Online, anyone can claim to be anyone.
  • It’s weird and incongruent for Krauser to be interested in truthfulness and reality while at the same time admiring one of the greatest grifters in U.S. history.
  • (I added this after the initial post):  Krauser links to an amazing video BD posted, apparently with… pride? Somehow? I mean, if he wants to be with an older woman, fine, the top women for long-term relationships may differ from the top women for sex, but… look at and listen to the guy, and make up your own mind. He posts this video as an apparent brag. It’s not something I’d be bragging about, personally.

So, BD married a 31-year-old woman, who had a half-black kid, when BD was 25. A funny (? sad might be a better word…) story: years ago, around the time I transitioning out of seeing the girl I call Libido Girl and around the time I started seeing #2, I met this chick online, late 20s, who already had a kid but was wise enough not to emphasize it online. Although her profile talked about needing commitment, etc., she was a pretty straightforward lay.

During the first date itself, I only remember her banging on about commitment and me saying, somewhat truthfully, that no man in his right mind will consider commitment w/ a woman unless/until he knows about sexual compatibility. Not the best argument or best game but one I’ve made before and good enough for her to tumble into bed. She oozed sexual energy that conflicted with the words coming out of her mouth. Low 7, low effort, she seemed to be strongly conflicted, I slept with her like once a week for a while and brought her to one sex club, I think. I didn’t see pics of her kid until later on… she was smart about that. She said she needed commitment and I told her, pretty honestly, that I didn’t see her as a good long-term match. She was bitter about that and said all guys are full of shit, etc.

I said something whose underlying meaning was like, “Look at it from a guy’s perspective. When a guy sees your kid, what does that communicate to him about you?” Among other things it communicates 1. Dubious if not bad judgment. 2. Low conscientiousness. 3. Ignorance (failure to deploy standard-issue birth control). 4. Poor decision-making skills. I didn’t say so in those exact words, but it’s pretty obvious. She told me I’m a racist… maybe it’s true, I don’t know, for what it’s worth I’ve not wifed up any women, let alone one with another guy’s kid, and I can’t imagine calling a guy a racist is going to make him go, “Okay, you’re right, let’s get married, and I’ll adopt your son.” A guy who sees a woman make the choices she did, is going to respond appropriately. She should’ve been looking for older guys.

Somewhere in our brief fling she tried to explain why the baby daddy was a bad guy, etc. (then why were you with him…?) and, whatever her situation was, I said something non-judgmental like, “It doesn’t matter and you don’t need to explain to me.” Things she seemed to find heartening at the time… they were true, because how she came to her situation wasn’t important to me in evaluating her for sex, and her situation communicated more than enough of her character for me to bin her correctly. I wanted to f**k her and she was very sexual and good in bed. In retrospect I should’ve let her go find her provider guy, who wasn’t going to be me, but she also gave off “I’m looking for sex” vibes. Probably an excuse on my part. She would’ve found some other guy like me, who would lie by omission to her. But then it wouldn’t have been me.

Women who want to do better with men, have to understand men and what men want… men who want to do better with women, have to understand women and what women want. Without doing that, a guy is unlikely to go as far as he should.

Our culture is superficially permissive and accepting, but in reality, when confronted with individual self-interest, most people make the smart choice. That is why “Fat acceptance” will never happen in the places it matters. People who really buy into the bullshit will typically suffer when they hit the real world. There is a superficial level of argument and discourse, which dominates, and there is a real-world level of discourse.

It’s also important to remember that guys who are interested in red pill and pickup are disproportionately failures with women, or have been burned by being with the wrong woman. Guys who get the best women, who want families and have families, and who are with women who want the same… they are not spending time talking about red pill and seduction. They are out building themselves, their families, and civilization. The current marriage-divorce system discourages this kind of thing, but people still do it, just like there were players before reliable birth control and antibiotics to deal with most STIs.

Status/coolness first, THEN evangelize for whatever the thing is

No one listens to or wants to follow losers: that’s the fundamental rule of life and “What are your rules for talking about RP concepts?” Many guys online seem to want to talk about anti-social Red Pill jargon without working on themselves first, which is a mistake, but it’s also a class of mistake more generally: no one listens to someone they think is lower status than themselves.

(One good thing about science as a practice and system is that it forces higher-status, eminent people to listen who lower-status, not-eminent people if the latter are right and the former wrong. Business can also function that way, because a business composed of high-status, wrong people will fail. A business startup that has low-status, correct people will see the low-status people rise in status until they replace the existing high-status group, then the process repeats as consumer tastes change and businesses ossify. Government fails because real-world feedback loops are much weaker.)

I’ve been fairly successful at getting chicks into the non-monogamy scene for a bunch of reasons, but a big one is because I’ve worked on myself first. While I’m not some super cool guy like a professional actor, I have my shit together and can be pretty direct with chicks. Chicks can tell that if they pass on me, I can and will find another… many guys can’t and won’t. Chicks like guys who other chicks like. Many chicks still say no to me, that’s fine, that’s their prerogative, but chicks are intrigued by guys who want, but don’t need, them. I don’t get rattled much by chicks and their natural drama, so I can usually bring them into my frame and introduce the ideas around non-monogamy that I’ve been writing about.

We can see from history (you are reading a lot, right?) that the effect you have depends on who you are: in the Civil Rights movement, for example, black leaders realized they needed the symbols of their movement to have huge, supernormal amounts of dignity. Basic people with basic, petty flaws weren’t sufficient: anyone involved in leading the movement needed to be highly dignified, and ideally very Christian, to counteract the narrative that some kinds of humans are more human than other kinds of humans, or that some kinds of humans are more like animals than other kinds of humans. People like Martin Luther King Jr. and Rosa Parks were elevated, because both projected a strong sense of dignity, humanity, and righteousness (King’s love of p***y wasn’t widely known then… if it had been, he would have been a bad choice, despite his rhetorical excellence). The Civil Rights movement aligned itself with the dominant religious factions of its day.

This is true of any kind of movement, sales pitch, etc. Salesmen are most often tall, good looking, act empathetic, and speak well because they need to project social savvy, to be the kind of person other people want to affiliate with or associate with. I’m not a natural salesman. One of Robert Greene’s 48 Laws of Power is, “Win Through Your Actions – Never Through Argument.” In science and engineering, you win through argument and math. In human matters, you win through feelings, and that might be why a lot of digital male thinkers don’t do well with the hottest female analogue thinkers. Men are more likely to attempt to learn what is right and true based on science, facts, and logic, while chicks are more likely to believe what is right based on feelings, and these incompatible world systems create a lot of bad feelings (the female love of feelings is why shit like astrology and tarot appeals so much to chicks, and why so few chicks become scientists and engineers).

“Status first, evangelize later” is also why I have been talking about game as 1) having value, 2) value delivery mechanism, and 3) (Magnum emphasizes this) location / environment. All three variables matter, probably in that order. If you are missing the first one, #2 won’t matter and even #3 will be less useful. “Having value” will do a lot to make you high status.

So many guys say they try to tell their friends about The Red Pill… they don’t understand that they have to be cool first, THEN maybe talk. “Cool” is the high school or college word for “value” or “status.” Guys can’t go the other way around: if they are not cool, they alienate themselves further, and a lot of guys in RP, seduction, etc. seem to be very alienated and disconnected to begin with. A guy who other people don’t respect who starts spouting off weird, anti-social-seeming concepts he’s read about on the Internet, is not going to come off well.

Cool / status are kinda hard to define, but we know them when we see them. Part of game is learning cool / high-status behaviors and them implementing them. Cool / status can also mean different things in different places, at different jobs and different situations. Some guys can have amazing status at their intellectual jobs, then go to a wedding or a party weekend and none of the hot chicks give a shit about how the guy implemented a TPS report system that saves the company a million dollars a year. The next week, the fun wedding party guy might be depressed because he can’t get a job and most chicks who have a real job will not date guys without one.

Any individual has a set number of “weirdness points” and they should be spent carefully. The cooler you are, the more weirdness points you get. Most guys get very few weirdness points and blow them by talking about Red Pill jargon, etc. A guy who is successful with women will naturally draw other guys who will want to learn about what he’s doing… the same as guys admire the captains of sports teams, the best programmer in the company, etc. If you’re not seen as good with women, no one gives a f**k what you think about women, sexual dynamics, etc.

This is on my mind right now because of something I realized about Ms. Slav and her relationship to some of my psychological struggles (more on that in another post, if you want to listen to my moronic bleating about interior state). Her and I together might be able to accomplish things in non-monogamy with her that are larger than the ones I can accomplish on my own… but, simultaneously, I’m no longer sure I want to do that, so I feel pulled in multiple directions and am unsure of myself, at a macro level… a pretty unusual situation for me.

For the last ten years, I have often been unsure at a micro level, when I ask myself, “Should I try to date this chick or that chick on Wednesday?” or “should I text her now, or wait till tonight?” Basic game questions. On a macro level, my goal has consistently been, “Bang more hot chicks.” Now my macro is unsettled, and that may be feeding back into my micro. Aligned micro-macro lead to optimal psychology.

You see misaligned psychology more frequently in chicks, when a chick is like, “I want a boyfriend! I want to get married” but she is also f**king randoms from online, hooking up with her ex, and otherwise engaging in behaviors incompatible with boyfriend/marriage. Most younger chicks, being illogical, hate it when you point out that her behaviors are not compatible with her statements. I have some of that going on right now too, but I am trying to work this out… my own psychology is misaligned and I know it.

It’s because Ms. Slav is very unusual that I have written so much about her. I think I wrote that previously, but based on some feedback I’ve been getting, I want to mention it here: don’t take Ms. Slav as typical of the non-monogamy scene. She is not, at all. She has unusual psychology and is also abnormally young and hot. But she is the reason why some guys will stay in it… they occasionally get lucky when very unusual girls like her come along, who are willing to f**k guys they really shouldn’t.

“Low-cut top girl,” opening off an IOI on the way to the gym [FR]

Friday night, relatively late, I’m jogging to the gym and catch a MASSIVE IOI off this chick as she is crossing the street perpendicular to me. I have a strange thought, as I imagine the game guys I read and what they would do… and the thought makes me I realize I have to open. My mood is pretty good too, so I stop to say she must be going to a party. She’s in a very low-cut top and figure-hugging camel-colored bottoms, from what I can see, but the time between eye lock and me chatting her up I don’t see much of her body because I’m concentrating on other matters. Out eye contact barely breaks. She says yes, she is, and I speculate about the difference between good parties and obligatory parties that you feel like you have to go to. We continue in this vein a bit; I’m wearing a necklace from Studebaker metals (some cheaper alternatives here), which she asks me about. So she’s not too daft to reciprocate. Some chicks, even if they basically like you, will be incoherent during the stop, because the situation is so foreign to them. This one is a bit more put together, or she’s going to a party so she’s in socializing mode. We chat a bit about a perfect party and I tell her I have a date with the gym. We talk about the gym for a minute. I get out my notebook and tell her to put her name and number in it.

She’s surprised by the notebook thing, so we talk about that a bit, and I tell her about leaving my phone at home as that is a better way to experience the world (also something true… the younger the chick, the less they get this idea, except for Ms. Slav… the higher IQ, more self-aware chicks often understand this and have a love-hate relationship with their smartphones).

Saturday morning I text Low-cut top girl, asking if her night led to all the things she could have possibly wanted, and she replied saying it was okay and asking about mine. I said that quality time spent with my mistress the squat rack is always a lovely evening (not strictly speaking true, due to injury, but I would like it to be true), and I probe for the rest of her weekend plans. She says she is planning to be a cat lady that night, and asks what I’m doing. I tell her (truthfully) that I’m going to a party, without elaborating. She says that sounds like lots of fun… is she seeking an invitation? I think so, but I tell her we should get a drink Sunday night, early, as I have work in the morning. She agrees and I set my usual first date venue. I text her a pic of a cat and say that I know it’s a little early to be sending pussy pics, but she’s a cat lady so I just can’t resist. She sends laughing emojis and sends me one of “her pussy” (cat) in return. The comment is probably more forward than I should be so early in the interaction, at least by optimal game standards, but I kind of don’t give a f**k.

Saturday night, Ms. Slav and I go to the party… we cause a scene (she causes a scene) in the best way possible, as we set the tone of the evening fairly early. Then she dominates, then f**ks, another girl after our first hour-long adventure. Fairly late at the party, Cassie shows up, and we have a bit of a threesome… more more realistically, Ms. Slav and I take turns on Cassie, who is unfortunately not excited to go down on other chicks. Ms. Slav seems disappointed/annoyed that I finish (in a condom) in Cassie, but what can I say, I want to spread the love. She said she has no jealousy… but she hasn’t told me that lately, so I wonder if she just doesn’t experience jealousy in the way normal people do, but the right set of circumstances can still trigger jealousy in her. She wanted to stay extremely late and I wanted to go home after the recovery period with me, Ms. Slav, and Cassie, and I told Ms. Slav she is welcome to stay, but she decides to come back with me.

Sunday I get up pretty early and see Ms. Slav off. In the afternoon I text Low cut top girl that I hope she enjoyed being a cat lady and that I’ll see her in a few hours; she confirms and asks me about the party, but I say we can talk in person.

In person, she is not wearing the same shirt as I expected/hoped for, as she’s quite a bit more demure (bad sign), but her clothes hug her body. I did a good job not staring at her chest on the street, and I’m kind of wondering whether she actually has a nice body or not… she might, but I was focused enough on eye contact and conversation that I couldn’t really tell. I have had girls go both ways, when getting naked… where I suddenly realize that girl is hiding an incredible body under her clothes, and other times when I realize a girl is hiding a… not incredible body. Varies so much by girl that I’ve learned to distrust my own predictions.

We talk about technology and how I think social media is pretty worthless, while she defends it (typical girl), but not too much. She is a vegetarian, and I don’t share that I have a theory that vegetarian girls are more sexually active and adventurous than regular girls. Probably just me generalizing from too small a sample size. She also has an unusual and more-interesting-than-expected job. I ask questions about her dreams / fantasies / etc. Hold hands and look in each other’s eyes for 60 seconds. The usual. It’s flowing well, and she happily agrees to drink #2 at bar #2.

Between bars I playfully push her against a wall and kiss her passionately. She responds, and I let her go before she is done. She is a bit confused, I think, that I’ve ended it so quickly. Kissing on the street is something of a secret society no-no, as it opens the girl up to slut-shaming… but it’s a move I like to pull anyway.

Conversation is stilted for the rest of the walk to bar #2, I think because she wasn’t expecting the kiss and hasn’t recovered from it well. At the bar we recover some. It feels very on. She’s quite eager to know my age and I tell her to guess… her guess is comically low. She pushes and I tell her ages, weights, and heights are very private information, just between me and Facebook and the CIA. Maybe too evasive. She tells me she’s gotten out of a five-year relationship recently and is trying to recover herself. I don’t engage too much with this beyond telling her I understand (undrestand what? Fuck if I know… fortunately, she doesn’t ask, like most girls don’t).

I invite her back for a drink and she goes for it. More chitchat about our lives. We go back to mine and she prowls around like a cat for a while. She spends a long time in the bathroom, doing whatever it is chicks do in there, so I figure it’s good to go. She comes out and wants to sit across from me but I pat the couch and tell her I can hear her better over near me. A little bit of kissing resistance at first, until I find the sweet spots on her neck, which make her gasp and moan and took away the resistance. She says she’s getting over her period (fine, whatever… maybe she wasn’t going out for sex Friday night after all?), and I tell her that’s okay, we can find things to do. She is amenable. I leave for the bathroom and take a small amount of man drug: after being drained by Ms. Slav and Cassie, I’m not sure I can perform adequately. Actually, I don’t think I can, but I would rather keep the momentum going forward with Low-cut top girl than let it die out, and that is just what I am doing.

More making out, then to the bedroom. When I get her naked, her best bits flop down more than I’d like, and I drop her from a curvy high 7 to a high 6 / low 7. With a butt that big I have to smack it, and she loves it. I wonder when the girl was last f**ked properly because she is way more responsive than I deserve. I use my fingers inside her and direct her fingers to her clit, letting her get off for the first time. Very tiny amount of blood on my fingers. She goes down on me, and then I put on a condom and manage to f**k her.

She kept praising my body and telling me how hot I am… I’m not that hot, though I do lift and avoid sugar. Unfortunately, injury keeps limiting me from reaching the places I’d like to go in the gym. Zero sugar, gym, yoga, bike for transit… those things do add up. As usual, with a new chick for the first time I don’t last as long as I’d like, but it seems good. I use my fingers on her and she comes another time.

In the aftermath, she asks me about the baby wipes in the bathroom… I ask if she appreciated that they’re there… she said yes and wanted to know how I often I do this… I tell her I’m a courteous person (that may even be true). I probably let too much time pass, with the deep kissing and light chatting, but I feel totally drained, sexually.

Second time through, we’re kissing… leads to rubbing… as I’m getting hard, I “innocently” slip inside, though she knows what’s going on… this gets me totally going. Highly satisfying session. Before you comment, yes, I know it’s a stupid thing to do, and I do it anyway. She again tells me I’m hot, and I spit out, “Was your ex a fatass or something?” She says yes!

That’s a kind of high-risk question, because it’ll turn some chicks off… this one didn’t seem to mind. I bend her over, grab her hair, and direct one hand to her clit (why are chicks too dumb to do this automatically) and pound her thoroughly… a few minutes in, and I’m rather congratulating myself on a job well done. It’s quite hard for me to finish, as I’m tired from round one and the night before, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to, but with great effort and concentration, I manage. She’s flushed, practically gasping for air, and we snuggle for a while after. I ask her when she knew she was going to f**k me, and she said in the first bar she was thinking about it.

During and right after sex, chicks, and likely guys too, although I don’t know about that so much, will say the most honest shit, the shit they will censor out the rest of the time.

She said she thought it was so cool that I stopped her to chat her up on Friday and that non-creepy guys never do that. I ask her about what a creepy guy is and she couldn’t really say, but I think she was trying to get at guys who are near-homeless, or ghetto/lower-class seeming. I tell her that most men don’t know how to be men anymore and that it’s sad (a conversation topic I learned from all you guys on Twitter and in blogs, so thanks for that, as it’s a good one post-sex). She agrees. More chitchat, I invite her to stay over but she has to wake up early. I drink a ton of water and take ibuprofen, knowing that I’ve likely dehydrated myself from drink and general exertion. I don’t get the sense of overall accomplishment that I used to, though… I think my mind is whispering, “Get ouf of the game,” but my body/dick is whispering, “Not yet… not yet…”

I have been wondering, am I scared to leave the game? Do I want to do that, but lack the courage to execute that decision? Typically, the wannabe and novice player regards fear and courage around opening chicks, escalating chicks, willingness to leave bad chicks, etc. I wonder if I am experiencing a different, (atypical) form of cowardice, in that I want to exit but don’t want to give up the systems and practices I have been building so long. It’s a weird thought, and one that just popped into my head yesterday. It now seems very lodged there. I was so surprised by it that I wrote it down, though I did not need to, as it has been uncomfortably in my mind since.

Let me get back on track: I’m supposed to see Ms. Slav again on Tuesday, so I’m going to try and have Low-cut top girl for Wednesday. I need more of a break, but, momentum. I’m flogging myself forward. Maybe I will flake on Ms. Slav, and push her to Thursday or Friday. Friday probably won’t work for me, though.

The big learning from this is just “Be alert.” This was a “head is up” opportunity and I wasn’t really thinking about meeting women… but I didn’t want to leave behind an IOI so big from an attractive woman. The other day I was getting coffee with a guy in the game (hi!) and he said I got a massive IOI from a chick. I was like, “Were there any attractive chicks there?” Mentally I was like, “Did I miss one?” He said no but that he noticed it anyway. With this girl, it was just right girl, right place, right time.

I have also done some approaches like this one that go badly, or the girl has a boyfriend or whatever… pretty easy sex is not a typical outcome. But I don’t usually post about basic rejections because there is nothing to be learned from them, apart from the fact that they happen.

Chicks like Low-cut top girl are also why my cold-approach pickup skills aren’t that great… I get good enough results from the occasional randoms, like this one, as well as ecosystems and other sources, that I don’t feel much need to get properly good.

Good thing I am working from home today, as I feel like I need the time to recover. I’m going to lose Peaches if I don’t manage to get more space in the rotation for her.

Viva game.

Updated the book with proper headers

I looked at the book so many times before I published it that I didn’t realize none of the headers appeared. I’ve now fixed it, so the text should flow better due to the headers being included. There are some other minor fixes and clarifications as well. If you have a previous version, you should delete it and take up the new version.

The positive, light-side frame, not the negative, dark-side frame

This turned into a non-actionable ramble, but it is a fundamental statement of my views and psychology… it emerged in response to this Nash comment, so if you want to understand the context, check that first.

In the RP and seduction communities, I get the sense that some guys (maybe most?) are kind of cold/damaged. They’ve failed too many times and are seeking revenge, or seeking to “get a free one” off chicks. Or to get a chick in the inferior position, so that HE has the power (for once) and will get to feel what it’s like to have arbitrary power over another person. None of those are good primary frames, in my view, even if they can be attractive at times.

I try to cultivate kindness… BUT not by being “nice” or weak. I’m not a niceguy. I’m very keen on reciprocity as a fundamental part of the human experience, and I’m cagey about people trying to steal value. “Nice” often means, “I will bleed so much value to you, that you’ll feel it necessary to return some to me, however reluctant you are.” That’s lousy game, but it’s game that some ignorant guys will try, particularly when they’re young; older guys learn this is ineffective and stop doing it. I will be very angry if someone tries to use me, or get one over on me, although in the modern world that means “withdraw attention” is usually the only option.

BUT. We’re stuck on this planet together, until Elon takes us to space, and I would like to make the world a better place. Game makes the world a better place, as chicks want to be seduced by competent guys and of course guys want to seduce hot chicks. There are some ways that our biologies have caused incentives to be mismatched between guys and chicks. To fail to acknowledge that would be stupid. Within that context, however, I try to create “win-win” wherever possible, while also acknowledging that, of course, sometimes it is not possible to do “win-win.” I try to find chicks who want the same. Chicks who aren’t win-win don’t have a long-term place in my life… they may have a short-term place, with their legs spread, but that’s it. Balaji says “As a guiding philosophy, ‘win and help win’ will always outcompete ‘live and let live’.”

“Win-win” means trying to make sure the chick has the opportunity to get off. It means holding her after, something most chicks love and crave, even from random one-offs. Even in group sex situations, it is common to hold the chick after… she’s had an intense experience, and needs to be helped down from it. It means I usually have some food around, so we can have a snack. Most chicks are too dumb or self-centered or incapable of planning ahead to do these things, but some are self-aware enough to do them. Remember that chicks are only as competent as they need to be, and most chicks don’t need to be very competent to get laid out by guys. A lot of chicks report most guys are not doing basic stuff, like guys holding the chick after sex or giving her a snack. Maybe it’s true, maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s a factor of chicks trying to get guys +1 or +2 SMV compared to them, and then they get what they give.

I don’t like the view, even if it’s purely psychological, that the goal of seduction is to get one over on the chick, or to punish the chick for all the times a chick has been a bitch to the guy. The Geneva Conventions forbid group punishment; only individuals should be punished for bad behavior, not groups (one of the major problems with woke social justice warrior culture today is the propensity is target groups, not individuals). A guy should protect his value from chicks, or anyone, who will take it… but he should also try to be generous where and when possible. Especially in low-cost, high-value situations. Like holding a chick after he’s f**ked her. Simple thing that will make her experience much better. Chicks say they like generous guys and they aren’t lying: they like guys who are authentically, generous, though, not guys who are trying to run up implied debts and then exchange the implied debts for sex.

There are simple things that can make a chick’s life better: invite chicks to the gym… give her a book he thinks is good… etc. It’s both good for the chick and also gives you information about her. A basic, lazy ignorant chick is probably only good for one thing, and she can be mentally put into that one-thing bucket. I’ve had many chicks good for little outside of sex. A highly responsive chick might be good for other things, beyond sex. Most chicks who have little to offer apart from f**king think they have much to offer apart from it, which generates many moments of comedy. When you find a chick who also wants to make the world a better place, that is valuable information. When you find a chick who wants to wants to watch TV, eat junk food, and complain… that is also valuable information. Obviously there are many gradations between the two.

Many guys, I sense, never get to the stage where they are seriously evaluating the chick, and discarding the chicks who aren’t any good. So if they struggle and struggle, then get to the stage where they have choice… they are sometimes tempted to be mean to the chick. Experienced guys learn that is very rarely good. Most of the time, simple disconnection is the right response to mean, bad, lazy, or stupid chicks. Trying to be mean in return… is rarely a good idea. Sometimes it might be. But very rarely.

I sense that a lot of guys in pickup, seduction, RP (distinct communities at times, but I will put them together my purposes now) want to present a bravado front… look at me, the great player/wizard, with all these chicks before me… I can treat them like dirt, or at least not very well, and they still come back for me… and if she doesn’t come back for more, BEHOLD!, for she will be replaced by another chick, for I am the great player/wizard of seduction, ready to replace that chick.

OF COURSE, sometimes a chick should be replaced. Of course, a guy is only as good as his options. Of course, a guy should be seeking new leads if his plate is not totally full. BUT, he should also try to improve the lives of the chicks he’s f**king, if he can, to the extent he can, while making sure that he only acts in ways that the chick merits. If he senses even for a moment that the chick is using him, or is withdrawing because of his generative nature… then he must pull back.

Top chicks, especially top chicks who are mentally sound, will respond will to a generative person. F**ked up chicks may respond less well. But I want more mentally sound chicks in my life, and fewer messes. You get what you give… there are some exceptions to that principle, but over time and over many scenarios, it plays out.

Nothing is perfect, and I’ve often misjudged chicks and situations. But I still want my basic frame and mode of being in the world to be positive and to be building new and good things. That can be executed in many different ways… with a chick you’ve just f**ked, though, it usually means you should hold her after. People want to connect with each other. In some ways, we have a very “cold” society in which we’re heavily disconnected. I like game because it creates the connections people yearn for but often don’t know how to make for themselves, anymore.

Enough ramble… I could keep going. If guys want to see more of my not-immediately-actionable ramble posts, there is a tag for them.