Basics like asking the girl out and escalation

For most guys, 97% or more, it’s still about the basics… look at this woman’s story… I’m omitting some of it, but the whole thing is on Twitter.

at some point during the courtship dance, you DO need to let her know you are interested. Sexually. Because, believe it or not, she may not know.

This is a funny story from my own dating days.

In my mid-20s, I played ultimate frisbee. One day, a couple guys joined our game. One blond, the other dark haired. Blond guy was SUPER attractive and extremely good at ultimate frisbee. They both came to our after-game potluck. I can’t recall what happened, but I didnt really consider either of them dating options. However, I did get the dark haired one’s number.

And one night when I was bored, called him for a drink. NOT because I was into him. I really just wanted to leave the house. So I have a drink with the guy, and the whole time, he’s singing the praises of his blond friend. So much that I’m wondering if he’s trying to tell me he’s gay. I was super confused.

Then, some time later, he invited me for dinner with him…and blond friend. Like…okay?

But that was THE ENTIRETY of my contact with these guys. A year and a half later, I ran into Blond Guy. I told him I was engaged to my husband. Blond Guy said, “Why did you pick him over me?”


Like…this was a guy who IN NO WAY made it clear he liked me. He didnt ask me out. He didnt try to kiss me. He didnt even have his friend pass me a note like we were in middle school to tell me he liked me. HOW was I to know?!?!?!? And this was a HANDSOME guy. An athletic guy.

But even he couldn’t date properly.

This is basic escalation. Both guys in the story fail.

A lot of guys will succeed by improving their value, talking to chicks, asking chicks out, showing straightforward interest, and then trying to f**k them. The advanced game stuff you read… that’s the back 10 or 20%…. most guys don’t have the first 80 or 90% down… the stuff that’s like, “Have some balls.” “Make a move.” “Don’t be afraid of rejection.”

In real life, I have heard many women tell stories similar to this woman’s story.

In real life, I was like those clueless guys until I was like 20 / 21.

How many women do you think those guys missed because they didn’t say, “Give me your phone number, and let’s get a drink.” Because they didn’t say, “Why don’t we go back to my place and lisen to music / watch TV?” Back at his place, kiss her. Then the rest. A lot of guys will be helped just by looking the girl in the eye and escalating. So that she knows he’s interested. Sexually.

Women have these kinds of stories (the linked woman is not a PC SJW lunatic, so that’s cool). Guys they might have f**ked if the guy had made the move. I am interested in exploring the back half of the game that is very little discussed, while also knowing that this woman is right, most guys are guilty of, “IN NO WAY made it clear he liked me.” Most guys “couldn’t date properly.” That means super basic escalation. A lot of girls aren’t getting f**ked, and a lot of guys aren’t f**king, because the guy doesn’t do super simple escalation. I have written this before, but a decent number of my lays came about from girls who were kind of passive or awkward… but who went along… with me… back to my place until we were f**king. A lot of guys in normal life who are considered “players” just have good eye contact, decent bodies, and they escalate until the girl says no…. and sometimes she never says no.

“The stripper with the sugar daddy”

The stripper with the sugar daddy” is my version of the title… let’s be real here, she’s no computer scientist… she does have a typical alpha/beta boyfriend dynamic going on, though… “I’m leery of his avoidant attachment style but, like my weekend shifts at the club, the promise of pleasure lures me back again and again,” the usual, honey…

I’m also beginning to realize I’m torn between A and B. B is reliable, empathetic, open, everything I am not used to in men — but deep down I know I am not as into him as he is into me. I find myself drawn to the 10,000-piece puzzle that is A. Even though he is evasive and maddeningly frustrating, I realize that I am in love with him.

It’s like reading red pill fan fic… the boring guy is too boring for her, the exciting guy is exciting because he’s unreliably available. With A, there’s a little “accident,”

We go back to his place and fuck passionately for hours, in every position. I love making you come, he whispers, kissing the back of my neck. When he’s about to finish he asks, can I come in you, but I hear, can I come on you, and tell him of course. I am shocked when I feel myself getting filled with something. It’s been a long time since I let someone do that, for me it’s as intimate as it is risky.

B, however,

sends me a link to a playlist he’s made. I listen to it before work and realize it’s a love letter. I am flooded with conflicting emotions. He knows I dance and thinks its “fucking badass,” which is a rarity; he’s a feminist, a real one. We are compatible on so many levels but there is something missing for me.

She likes him but is an avoidant type herself… so B’s statements of attraction to her turn her off… while A’s distance turns her on. Different types women of women will be turned on by different things. This is not a chick who likes comfort or needs much of it. This is a chick who likes wild uncertainty. The more sexually open and fluid she is, the more likely she is to be turned on by game playing, hot-cold, push-pull, etc. Know your audience.

Finishing inside is a universal path to intimacy and connection, however.



Brief one about limited interactions at a sex party

Went to another closed sex party Saturday night, and as I began to write this I thought back on The Tom Torero lay report book, “Below the Belt”, “Should you read it? I dunno. If you want more lay reports, then sure. If you’ve already read a bunch of them, as I have, then I don’t know if it’s that useful. They do get repetitive, and that sense of repetition may be part of what’s making me thinking about the next part of my life.” Same thing here, cause a lot of the older sex club reports (the ones I didn’t write cause I wasn’t writing then) would look like this one… went to the party that some friends were hosting. Maybe 100 people there total? Enjoyed it overall and chatted with some people. Not a lot of really good looking girls there, but three or four 7+s were around. Had a couple with a hot girl offer a swap, so that was fun. Declined it, though. Precedent: don’t want to go there right now.

Sex parties, lots of people f**king together in the same space, it’s just very… stimulating. Stimulating in a way impossible to explain without experiencing it. The group dynamic makes everyone f**k better, improves focus, offers encouragement. There’s an undercurrent of feeling that we’re all getting one over on societal rules… that feeling players know… but it’s present here as well. Even if you don’t interact too much with other people, it can be a fun place. The stimulation is there even without f**king another woman. I’ve actually transacted a bit of business at these events, too, cause you never know who’s going to be at them. I’ve seen couples who go regularly but never go beyond touching or kissing other people. They get some of their jollies from the environment, without wanting to risk their primary relationship. Compared to the typical getting drunk and being bored and then being hung over the next day, this is a big improvement. Everyone wants to f**k anyway… better to skip the pretense.

There were a few too many fat chicks for my taste, and more shifty guys than I would have liked, if you know what I mean. Wasn’t enough to make me leave, but I noted it. There was also a small cute girl there who I’ve met before but who has the glassy-eyed, thousand-cock stare that I’m not a fan of. I’m sure some hater guys who have never been think all the chicks there are like that, but that’s not been my experience… most of them have a pretty well-integrated sexuality, a sexuality that their forebrain and hindbrains agree with, and that prevents the vacant look of women who use sex or their bodies for attention, as transactions, etc. This one… I can’t place her. Have not been inside her but have thought about having a go. Something seems a little off about her, and that plus wanting to establish good precedent holds me back. I also need to be congruent. If I am not congruent in what I think I should be doing and what I do, that is going to f**k me up.

Saturday morning I also went out for coffee with my date, and there was a couple sitting across from us. Struck up a bit of a conversation over something, can’t remember what… I found the girl unbelievably sexy, but I’m not sure why exactly… something about the way she moved, or her vibe. The pants she was wearing, somewhere between yoga pants and sweatpants, just made her ass look fantastic. The guy was more interesting than average too. They both looked like they’d just rolled out of bed. Probably won’t go anywhere, but the old ways and habits die hard. I dropped a strategic drug reference in, and that went over well. I get the vibe from them, probably because I really want to get the vibe.

It also appears that Torero has killed his whole online presence, so if you want the book, speak up and maybe it will find its way to you.

“Why 16? Who do age of consent laws really protect” A dangerous story, too

There’s a story in the second half of this one……. about me turning tail and running.

Why 16? Who do age of consent laws really protect. Rare to see these ideas questioned, because they serve two groups’s interests: older women voters and parents. Obviously older women parents really see their interests served, but older male parents don’t want to watch their daughters make typical retarded romantic decisions and get pregnant by charming older players. Charming teen players are bad enough. Throw in experienced seducers with teen girl morons and you risk greater pregnancy, heartbreak, etc.

Parents don’t give a shit about abstract arguments regarding right, wrong, consistency, etc. They just want their daughters to be less likely to get pregnant, get STIs, become dick drunk, etc. Don’t underestimate the power of the last one… if you are a player you have seen chicks go out of their minds with desire, at least temporarily, and a decent number of dads remember women who went crazy with love/lust. They want to avoid that condition in teen girls if at all possible. Don’t think your arguments about reason, autonomy, women being their own bosses, etc. are going to persuade the parents who have to deal with seduction’s aftermath. Adult women have a hard enough time, as we can see from the number of women bearing children out of wedlock.

Plus… women who are over the age of 18 and especially over the age of 25/30 can’t effectively compete with younger chicks. Getting the age of consent as close to 18 as possible, or even higher, gives older women a little bit more edge. Older women already have a tough go competing for top guys against younger women… letting women compete for top guys with 16 year olds is even worse, even more difficult. Women don’t want to date younger men, so that’s irrelevant. There are a handful of notable and irrelevant celebrity exceptions, that’s cool. let’s talk mainstream.

Women are already competing against the horniest women… they are (somewhat) competing against porn… women know their SMV declines post-children… to most chicks, most chicks who vote, the world looks super sexually competitive. The last thing chicks want is MORE competition for guys their age. So what’s a good excuse to evade competition… you must protect innocent girls! From EVIL predators. And most fathers agree with that.

It’s so surprising that an article like this appears at all. It’s interesting… I have (had, maybe, before life got in the way…) a lot of friends who were super interested in abstract ideas of all kinds, maybe including age of consent… none of them talk about this. No one wants to go there.

The story. A year or two ago I went to a small city in a coastal area on a work trip. First day there I went to the beach in the afternoon. Not much happening, warm enough to be pleasant but not warm enough to get into the water. Weekday, not many people there, nothing going on, enjoyed the sun. As I began walking back to the street, I saw these two girls… one of them in this black or red thong bikini that showed an amazing body, the other one was nothing special. But the one in the thong (black, I think), was just spectacular. Unbelievable. The other one was holding a basic Canon DSLR. Clearly they were going to do a photo shoot.

I felt like I had to open, so I did, something about tourists or locals. Locals. Then moved into pictures… took off my sunglasses to get that direct eye contact. Strong with both of them, especially the thong girl. I talked about Instagram and photography… and then I said, “Look, I have to get out of here in a few minutes, but do you want some company until then? I do some photography.” Something like that… many guys online don’t like these kinds of questions, viewing them as “beta,” supplicating, etc., but sometimes they are useful ways of sorting out when to stay and when to go. Especially when the girl is stationary, like on public transit or sitting in a coffee shop. The false time constraint is very useful here cause it gives you and the chick a way out if things go badly. It’s a good line in places where you don’t want to pointlessly impose but you also don’t want to let leads go. A lot of chicks, if they’re attracted to you, will be just as awkward around you as you are around them (they interpret your SMV as high and are flattered to have your attention), so it’s not easy to tell if they’re interested and awkward or uninterested and want you to go away. Their nervousness about screwing it up…. will screw it up. So “do you want company for a minute?” is a decent demarcating line. I’m sure it will be denounced as “BETA MALE” by some social retards. It can be done at the wrong time…. but sometimes you want to quicksort chicks to see where you stand. It’s bad to eject too soon because you run out of patter… but it’s also unpleasant to the girl and vibe-killing to you to try and stay in set too long for little reason or payoff.

I digress, they looked at each other and said yes… the thong one more excited than her plain friend… I went back down to the beach with them, leading the conversation, chit-chatting and getting pretty neutral responses, but I think they were just unfamiliar with the situation and either seeking attention (possible) or also developing attraction (possible). I think only the follower girl had braces… can’t remember now. I got down to the beach and was messing with the camera, then I thought……. do you really want to go down this path? How far down? Most often the question is, “What if she says no?” But the question can be, “What if she says YES?” Newbies need to have a logistics game plan for getting to yes… frequently they don’t. In this moment I wondered, do I want to go there? What is the worst case scenario here? The worst case scenario is really bad.

I was also thinking about the older women I know who admitted to starting sex precociously, often with much older men. When I was in middle/high school I knew some girls who were f**king MUCH older dudes. I found it shocking at the time… today, no female sex behavior surprises me, cause there’s a surface level of polite social discourse, then there’s a deeper, more primal level of real desire, the things people want but no one wants to admit to wanting. Some of the adult women I have slept with have admitted to and described scenarios about very early sex… one of the benefits of meeting a lot of women and vibing with a lot of women is that these stories come out. I have referenced MY SECRET GARDEN regularly because it is one of the very few honest descriptions of this world that I have found.

Back to that day, the best case scenario was good, but the worst case scenario was too bleak for me to pursue. So I kind of said, “Hey, I really have to go,” gave them back their camera, tucked the tail between the legs, and…… just about ran away. I knew too little and did not want to potentially explore the worst case scenarios.

But, you know, I wonder about that chick. What has her life been like? She was very, very pretty. Her bikini said, “available.” Some young chicks will deny that what they wear sends a message to guys around them… older women are better about admitting the obvious.

With this girl, the risk wasn’t worthwhile to find out the truth, or to find out if she’d already made sexual debut. I know the female propensity towards regret and irresponsibility. That’s why so few chicks are in high positions in companies or government… the average chick lives in a fantasy make-believe land where her feelings are “true” regardless of her speech or behavior. I don’t want to get caught in that bind, which I’ve seen before. Women are emotional creatures and whatever is true in the moment, always has been true and always will be true. What happened to her? Was the thong a one time thing, where she realized what signals she was sending out, and decided to change the signal? Or was it an honest signal, and she is one of those girls who is dangerous to the social order because of how hot and free she is? I’ll never know.

Don’t trust stupid Internet financial advice. Compounding interest is real

It seems I have turned into the “anti-marketer” police on the Internet, first about location independent businesses and now about the time-value of money. A guy on Twitter spit out a retarded tweet,

If you drive a lot of miles out of necessity this is for you.

If you buy a new car for $30k and drive it for ten years it works out to $250/month or less than $10/day.

If you rely on that car to get you and your family where you need to be, and safely, it isn’t a bad deal.”

This guy might not be retarded but this piece of his advice sure is. I can’t tell about him as a whole because this advice is so bad that I don’t want to read the rest. He is forgetting the time-value of money. The true cost of the $30K car over ten years is not the cost of the car, but the cost of the investment foregone because of the car. Let’s imagine you buy a $15K car instead and keep the other $15K. Compounding interest formula is A = P(1+r/n)^nt

P = principal amount (the initial amount you borrow or deposit)

r = annual rate of interest (as a decimal)

t = number of years the amount is deposited or borrowed for.

A = amount of money accumulated after n years, including interest.

n = number of times the interest is compounded per year

Dont worry, I had to look this up. Let’s even skip that and look at the simple interest formula, A = P(1 + rt). If you save the $15K and invest it @ 5%/year, you’ll end up with $22,500, or $7,500 more. So now the cost is not $250/month, but $312.50/month.

That’s not all, however. 5% a year is conservative. In addition, neither calculation takes into account inflation. More importantly, neither calculation takes into account financing.

If you have $30K in cash to buy a car, fine, but you’re also probably in the financial elite, and you’re still not earning interest. Most people finance cars. If you finance $15K, you’ll probably be paying 5% interest. So you can add another $7,500 on top of your $7,500 in foregone income, under simple interest, and more than that under compounding. So now you are not paying $250/month but rather $375, if you account for foregone gains and for interest.

It’s even MORE complicated than this, because the interest in most consumer loans is front loaded. That means you’ll spend the first quarter to half of the loan term primarily paying off interest. If you end up having to sell the car…. congratulations, you just paid a lot in interest.

I pointed some of this out to the guy and he said, “Yeah I know buy a $5k hatchback and invest everything else in mutual funds. I love MMM and learn a lot from him, but his car advice is big practical for high mileage commuters imo.” There is a big gap between $5K and $30K and he knows it or should know it. That reply is sufficiently painful that it reinforces the idea that he’s not worth listening to.

It’s smart to try not to be a high-mileage commuter, but that’s not always possible (circumstances of work and housing sometimes mandate it). But the guy didn’t even begin to address the real financial cost of the thing he’s advocating. He says he is a “Personal finance coach with a passion for helping others remove stress and worry from their financial lives.” He has 27.5K followers, or about 27 times the number I do, yet I know 10x what he does about finance.

Simple or compound interest aren’t even Black-Sholes or fancy shit that requires calculus. It’s simple math with some exponents, and the calculators for it are widely available online, and this simple math shows the true cost is far higher than $30K. If someone wants to pay it, fine, do it, but to think that $30K is “only” $250 a month is why this guy is giving advice on Twitter and not working in finance. As far as I can tell no one else noticed this on Twitter. The fools are following the fools.

The more you know about finance, the more painful the decisions of many people around you will appear. “Normal” consumption patterns will begin to seem crazier and crazier. You will hear people brag about the “house” they bought, which in fact the bank owns, and you will hear them ignore closing costs (can be 10% of the total) as well as foregone investment opportunities. In some markets buying makes sense, in others renting makes sense. Buying property was great in 2010 – 2014. Probably not so great today.

Electric cars change the cost equations because right now their initial cost is higher and their long-term costs are much lower. That is another important consideration. They also don’t spew poisonous fumes into the air, which is nice.

Part of the reason you’re poor is because you don’t understand compounding interest or that the alternative to spending money isn’t sticking it under a mattress, it’s investing it in an index fund. You’re poor because you don’t know math. Don’t end the week with nothing in your career and don’t take financial or health advice from Internet randoms without checking it first. The same is true of me. Don’t trust what I say. Check it for yourself. Wikipedia says, “The Florentine merchant Francesco Balducci Pegolotti provided a table of compound interest in his book Pratica della mercatura of about 1340.” “Richard Witt’s book Arithmeticall Questions, published in 1613, was a landmark in the history of compound interest.” So this formula is around 400 years old, maybe older, but Twitter guy with lots of followers doesn’t know it. What else doesn’t he know?

“Rich Like Me: How Assortative Mating Is Driving Income Inequality”

Rich Like Me: How Assortative Mating Is Driving Income Inequality.” Women with sufficiently high views of themselves also often push themselves out of the mating market altogether. Plenty of spinsters don’t realize that men and women value different things, on average, in the mating market.

But I think there is more to the article than this… I have also said in various places that I want a woman who functions in the world, beyond sex. If she is out of school age and has no job or a marginal job… I am not that interested in a long-term thing with her because she’s revealing that she’s likely f**ked up in some way. Not what I’m looking for in a co-parent or longer-term partner. So I’m driving income inequality in that way.

Female youth and beauty is the most valuable commodity in the world.” This is why chicks without youth and beauty are so unhappy… nothing they can do can give it to them. Except for younger fat chicks who quit sugar and get on a physical fitness program, but they are in the minority. And guys who can’t access youth and beauty are also unhappy. Many guys, however, have not caught up to the reality that plodding in school, being polite, and getting an okay but unspectacular job is not a good path to the hottest chicks today. A few of us are out here in the wilderness, telling guys what’s what, but the mainstream culture has mostly not caught up. Many guys only discover reality after their first divorce.


Social dancing, social skills, and the game

Some guys try partner dancing (salsa, swing, etc.) as a component of their game, and I’m one of them, but I’ve found the results to be mixed… whether you should do dance classes depends a lot on you. If you’ve got lots of tasty chicks queued up and a good pipeline, there’s little reason to start dancing unless you’re a guy who really likes it, or unless you’re in a small town without good day game opportunities. The highest-value guys and chicks rarely or never show up at these venues… which tells you something important.

The reasons for dancing are many and we’re the dancing species, so dancing is in line with our evolved propensities… it’s hard to fight evolved propensities. Guys with good game are almost always aligned with what chicks find attractive, and guys who can’t align themselves with what chicks find attractive will struggle. I didn’t make the rules bro, evolution did. The reverse is also true… just talk to a girl who is fat or old and see how much fun dating is for her… she is not aligned with what guys are primed to desire.

I get the impression a lot of guys starting in pickup, the game, and the Red Pill have bad social skills and are starting from bad places, with no queue of chicks, no pipeline, and a lifetime of videogame, sugar, and porn habits to fight against… guys who don’t have the social skills to apply cold-approach pickup and, even if they try, find the process so daunting as to be almost impossible. For them, social dancing (and improv) are good ways to start making forward progress… every day you can make progress or regress… you only see the tip of the spear. Social dancing and improv are structured ways of meeting new people and building concrete skills without the thumbs-up / thumbs-down aspect of proposing dates and sex to new chicks. When I was younger I was sometimes nervous about sexual rejection, but now I realize that when a girl gives me a firm “no,” or when I take anything apart from “yes” as “no,” that is an advantage to me because I can quit feeding her attention better targeted elsewhere. Guys without a chick pipeline and without masculine identity and presence often find “no” to be devastating, a blow to their whole identity.

After college I lost some of the environmental and ecosystem practices that had led me to good solid lays, and this seems true of a lot of guys. I thought I was a player… turned out I was just in a good environment and a little bit less of a p***y than most guys, and that was sufficient to get a bunch of lays. Oh, if I knew then what I know now……….

So I tried some social dancing. It was fine. It led to a few lays, but a lot of hours spent. It was also more fun than a lot of what my friends considered fun (video games). This girl was an ultra-long lead from that period. Good-looking 8. She had become more attractive over time, evolving from a stick-thin girl to one with the right curves. Not all girls peak at 18 – 22. And she is pretty monogamous overall…  I encouraged her to have some fun when she was out of town and her boyfriend was otherwise disposed… no go. A guy asked me about where monogamous-leaning chicks are, and I don’t really know (churches?), but they do pop up in my life now and then.

Game advice is tough because game is contingent on who a guy is, where a guy lives, and what his starting conditions are like. Guys with bad starting conditions will often find advice suitable for better-positioned guys to be unrealistic or even outright unbelievable. Guys with good starting conditions will find some advice for beginners to be unfocused, ineffective, or just plain unnecessary. Where you are affects how you receive the message and the message’s relevance to you. This post targets guys at an introductory level.

If you’re a guy looking at some empty nights and you’re not a hard-core cold approach guy, learning social dancing is probably better than not. Social dancing is a very “safe” activity that sublimates its sexuality and gives guys a structure and a skill to practice… this is also what makes it less fluid than daygame or even nightgame. Regulars at a social dancing event will get reputations, so it’s not a good place to ask out a bunch of chicks the first night you attend. Game at dances is indirect. Most nights, social dancing will be kind of boring, and when I was doing it I didn’t even see many 7s available. Some, not many. But it’s better than a night playing video games or watching porn, and even rudimentary dancing skills can be useful at weddings, nights out with friends, etc. Dancing can be a useful warmup for strolling the streets at night and chatting up chicks who are between bars (“gutter game”).

People who get really into dancing go to other cities to attend exchanges (and ideally DNA) with people in the host cities.

So I personally haven’t seen much in the way of hot chicks and lays from social dancing… but I’m also glad I did it… doing it will put you in a more social and sexual frame of mind and spirit than many other activities. For a long time I haven’t had many involuntarily empty nights and for me social dancing hasn’t been a great source of direct lays, so I don’t do it anymore. Chicks are impressed with my “dancing skills,” which come from like the two years I was taking lessons. Some dancing events will also have a nerdy, loser guy wandering around with an expensive camera shooting pictures, and if you can snag some of those pics, they’re better than average for online dating profiles.

Just getting out and interacting with other people is far superior to being on the Internet, playing video games, etc. Depending on where you are with gym, fitness, and diet, dancing can be superior or inferior; that’s going to vary too much by the individual to generalize. Dance scenes are also somewhat close-knit, so it’s easy to soil a reputation there. Guys who don’t have basic masculinity and social calibration are going to struggle there, but those guys are probably going to struggle anywhere. Dance classes don’t seem like an optimal use of time for guys who want to rack up lays and have the skills to do so. They seem like they can be pretty useful for guys who aren’t quite there yet.

Rakish Love said, “Although the dance (or whatever) scene isn’t the best for pickup since you might have a low-sexual-market value in the eyes of veteran girls there, it adds to your SMV to regular girls on the street, which makes it a good value delivery mechanism.” He’s right but, with consistent and deliberate practice, dance SMV can become fine with a few months of practice. It’s going to suck at the very beginning (beginner’s hell) but everything sucks at the very beginning of the effort, including game, dance, learning an instrument, etc. Being really optimized for picking up chicks at the venue itself may take a long time, and I didn’t properly emphasize that.

I don’t now if there are social skills coaches or therapists but if there aren’t there should be, particularly in this new age of phone-based social retardation. Seriously, ask to see the Apple screen time app for chicks under age 25. Many of them will check their numbers then be too ashamed to show you. They should be ashamed because they are spending their whole lives looking at other people’s Instagram. Guys who need to build their social skills need to get out into the real world and interact with real people. Improv, social dancing, volunteering, etc., are good ways to do this that are pretty low pressure, but coaching and therapy would be good too. If you’re a guy with strong social and game skills already then your sticking points are elsewhere. This seems to the minority of guys and especially the minority of guys starting out.