Ms. Slav: the latest updates

I’ve been in a sex whirlwind… not of my own making, for once. Not entirely of my own making, that is. I’ve given Ms. Slav her own tag, so you can see the series of posts, but she is more into group sex and non-monogamy than just about anyone else I’ve met. She’s totally sexually uninhibited and, while most people who say they don’t experience jealousy are lying, I think she’s telling the truth.

I should recount what we’ve been up to, but there has been too much to hit all of it. The foursomes have probably been most interesting. She is so young and pretty that she attracts pretty much anyone, online and off, such that I feel like I’m being fed this steady stream of really great food… more than I really want to eat, but as the possibility of it presents itself and I get a whiff, I keep sampling.

It’s clear to me why normal women hate women like Libido Girl or Ms. Slav: those women are highly disruptive to the social order. They reduce female bargaining power and not a little bit—they reduce it substantially. Because of hate, the Libido Girls and Ms. Slavs of the world hide who they are. Ms. Slav is too young to have taken on a sex-positive identity, but I believe she is taking one on now, and that identity can help immunize her from female haters. As she surrounds herself with sex-positive sluts, her identity will shift and the hate will mean less to her. This is what normal women hate and fear… another woman who will f**k their boyfriends and not be susceptible to slut-shaming.

Ms. Slav is unusual because she is if anything not discerning enough for my taste. Most chicks don’t like most other guys and/or are not really bi. Ms. Slav loves sex, loves it with an array of people, and will have sex with seemingly almost anyone she fancies, and she fancies pretty easily. This makes her a potent weapon but also one with drawbacks. I’ve had a bunch of sex since taking her to the parties, some with an “8,” and it is amazing to watch her become one with the scene. But it is also odd to see someone so uninhibited, to the point where she is less specific than I would like. Usually the opposite happens… I encourage a chick to hook up with other chicks, do her part with other couples I like, etc., but Ms. Slav is not like that.

I have very little if any control over her. Most normal chicks need to be encouraged. They feel jealousy when I nail another chick. They want to make sure that we’re a team. Ms. Slav doesn’t appear to be like that at all. It’s unusual for me to not have to push the chick forward, and instead to see her go zooming ahead of me. She is not like any other girl I’ve started in the non-monogamy scene. It’s pretty common for a new girl to bond with one or two other people and to have a small group of regulars. It’s uncommon to have someone who just loves to f**k and has been seeking this kind of permission and opportunity since puberty. She has probably been seeking permission to go wild her entire life and now has it. I wouldn’t be surprised to see her become some kind of sex educator or sex missionary more generally.

Going to sex parties with Ms. Slav is like playing a video game with God Mode turned on. She’s so young and hot that the possibilities are only really limited by the other girl’s interests and proclivities.

Ms. Slav reminds me a little of down-to-f**k (DTF) girls I’ve met online and offline. They like sex and are uninhibited about it and if you match some baseline threshold, she’s a “yes-girl.” Most girls are not like this, but when a guy finds one he merely has to smoothly escalate. That is another reason normal girls hate the Ms. Slavs of the world: the Ms. Slavs undercut the willingness of guys to invest lots of time and attention in more normal girls. Most normal girls won’t have sex within an hour of meeting, but the ones who will, hurt the market positions of the ones who don’t.

When I’m dating, I usually probe for interest in drugs and drinking, interest in sharing or hearing sex stories, and reaction to light physical touch. There are no doubt more sophisticated algorithms, but the simple one seems to have worked for me.

Two days ago, we met a couple off an app; the woman is very pretty, more attractive than the guy, and very quiet. At my favorite bar (the staff have asked me about my ways… they have seen a lot) Ms. Slav, myself, and the other guy did most of the talking. Then back to my place, blindfold over the other woman, and less foreplay than I would have thought. Ms. Slav stripped her quickly and began going down on her. I have learned to prolong the foreplay, longer than I think it needs to go on for, and been richly rewarded by that practice. The other woman has sensational breasts and I spent a lot of time on her. Great body overall. Face looks very good in the right circumstances. The guy couldn’t get off. I offered some pharma assistance in that regard and he declined. They are not super experienced. Not yet. Hard to know if they will get there.

Before them, we had another, bad date, with a couple whose pictures were 10 – 15 years out of date. The guy was a personal trainer of some sort and the woman an administrative assistant. They are the stuff stereotypes against swingers are made of: older, annoying, low culture (but not in a fun way), lack any semblance of glamor or poise. I noped us out of that one. I like girls who are smart but also sensual. Not a big fan of older, dumb chicks. They were an exception, though. Most people are more or less as they present themselves. Lying in online dating is not a high-quality move, because it wastes a lot of time and doesn’t result in much.

Still not quite connected to Ms. Slav. Still waiting on the IUD thing. One big problem with me and non-monogamy is the condom thing. It is possible to move past it, after everyone swaps test results, but condoms are the default.

I’m starting to understand the whole “mid-life crisis” thing, which I used to think stupid. In most ways my life is really good. Yet I feel somehow hollow, or colorless, a lot of the time, and I’m not sure what to do with that. The old ways seem not to be working for me anymore, but I don’t know what the new ways might be. I don’t see myself continuing indefinitely down this hedonism path, but I also know too much to approve of some other paths. Some I’m kind of stuck. Many of the earlier life challenges, I have surmounted, or surmounted well enough. What next?

I’m not complaining, mind. If you’re my age, have adequate funds for housing and books, and are still railing a Ms. Slav, things cannot be that bad. In the future, however, I might shift away from her and towards someone more substantive. Good Looking Loser has a new podcast up, not very intersting or actionable, but he is also older and not so interested in sport f**king randoms anymore. I get where he is coming from. Simultaneously, I have built this whole ecosystem and just system to deliver pretty good, pretty consistent casual sex, and I’m reluctant to give this one up. Like many things in life, it was hard to build but will be easy to dismantle or let atrophy. Yet that may be my destiny anyway. I have been exploring some local political work, so maybe I will do that instead. There are one or two women in the background who could, I think, be long-term prospects. But I’m very particular about a woman who is going to be around over the long term, so I have a fundamental challenge there.

There are also some very hilarious Red-Pill comments she has made. She’s been tooling a try-hard guy for months… he kept trying to get her out last weekend, and by one in the morning she finally told him to leave. I remarked that I would never put up with that kind of behavior. She said, “I treat different guys differently.” He asked if she was home yet… and she said to me, as if she were going to write it in a text, “Baby, I wasn’t home. He should know that.” He is giving her unearned attention, and while she is enjoying it, it isn’t getting him anywhere. He texted her that he would rather be out with her than anyone else in the world. This to a young girl he barely knows. Folly. I made those mistakes… in high school and college… not for a long time. If anything I err towards not giving enough attention and not doing enough comfort.

Training Ms. Slav has been interesting. She has required very little training, though. With her… I think I can keep up, but I don’t think I want to keep up. Seems like a minor distinction, but I wonder if she’s my last ultra-high-energy girl. One down side of guys dating chicks half their age is that those chicks can be much higher energy.

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“Aggressive and Humiliating Sexual Play” are highly desired by most people

Aggressive and Humiliating Sexual Play: Occurrence Rates and Discordance Between the Sexes.”

More than 70% of participants found at least one aggressive or humiliating sexual play desirable, whereas about half of the participants found at least three such acts desirable. Significant sex differences were also found, with men desiring to engage in such play more than women. This discordance was moderated by the willingness of each party to partially accommodate each other’s desires.

Players know that, used correctly, aggressive and dominant sex is extremely powerful and desirable. The key is using it correctly and in the right circumstances.

There is a well-regarded book called The Sex God Method that is probably still available on the Internet that goes into some of these methods.

The same acts that are disgusting to women from the wrong man are arousing to women from the right one.

There is no easy way: there is only the hard way

Being a player is hard. Most guys must churn constantly for new leads. Old leads drop off. Chicks are of couse flakey, because they’re testing for a guy’s quality. Neither online nor offline dating is fast for most guys. The economic conditions that make game plausible have only existed in the West for a couple decades.

Being in a monogamous relationship is hard. Sexual boredom will likely eventually set in. Romantic attachment will replace passionate attachment. Most chicks expect financial subsidies of one kind or another in a monogamous relationship. Most chicks will eventually want kids if they don’t have them already (which can be good or bad). Worse still, some chicks will already have kids and be looking for a new guy.

Being in a non-monogamous, hedonistic relationship is hard. One needs all of the skills of the general player to make it work. On top of that, one needs the personal temperament to want to do non-monogamy. The player needs to re-wire the chick’s internal psychology to make non-monogamy a part of the chick’s identity and toolkit. Not all chicks will go for it.

Gathering enough information to make rational decisions about the world is hard. One needs a lot of practice in the real world as well as a lot of reading and networking with other players to understand the world. Dominant information sources are not helpful for most aspiring players. Many are inaccurate or written from a woman’s perspective. Even sources of information that are better-than-average, like Reddit’s Red Pill, are incomplete and run by self-important fools. That section is good for average frustrated chumps (AFC) but insufficient for anyone who is past the baby steps. It acts as an information silo.

One of the more gratifying parts about writing here is the traffic from search engines. Some guys find this material from what is probably random searching.

Discipline is hard. That’s true in terms of diet, mind, information diet, and body. It’s true in terms of work. Discipline is one reason I was reluctant to write online for a very long time.

While the above paragraphs are true about the individual guy, every guy is simultaneously doing his thing to try and get laid.

The military guy is being a tough badass to make chicks think he’ll protect them and that he’s competent.

The music guy is literally seducing chicks with the sound of his music.

The athlete guy is expressing his physical fitness and his ability to dominate other men.

The business guy is demonstrating the quality of his mind and his ability to outcompete other men in the industry. He’s demonstrating his capacity to support a woman and provide a good home for her and her children.

The laid-back surfer and weed guy is demonstrating how chill he is and how she can relax and focus on pleasure with him.

There are many others.

A guy can only embrace his version of the hard way. I have it easier than many guys but also harder than a lot of guys. My way has been hard and remains hard to this day. The hard path is an essential component to life. When I was younger I thought I could find “the easy way” with women. But there is no final, easy way. There are ways that are more or less relevant to a given guy, but none of them is easy.

To me, the non-monogamous way is easier, better, and more plausible than some other alternatives, but “easier” is still hard, and it still has to suit a guy’s personality. This way suits my personality. It may not suit yours.

I get the sense that many guys are like I was, thinking that there is some easier way. But there is not. There is only the hard way. There will always be a relative shortage of hot chicks in the hottest age range. Guys from the onset of puberty to the onset of senescence will always be competing for them. Game and evolutionary biology will clarify female psychology, but it’s still necessary to execute effectively. Most guys cannot or will not. Player blogs are typically written by the rare guys who will go the distance.

“After a year of #MeToo, Americans are more sceptical about sexual harassment”

After a year of #MeToo, Americans are more sceptical about sexual harassment.” Good, and that is as it should be. Having been victim to false accusations and rumors myself, whenever I hear these kinds of accusations, they make me think less of the person making the accusation.

Maybe normal women understand women’s propensity to blame-shift in the sexual arena. Normal women fear that their husbands, brothers, and sons will be targeted. I get it. Women are very fond of doing things, then saying, “It wasn’t me.” MeToo is really about evading personal responsibility. Normal people also know that “Women love the sexual interplay they experience with men, and they relish men desiring their beauty.” Why don’t strident American feminists know this? Because they think pleading ignorance will improve their bargaining position.

“Don’t fall for a girl half your age.”

I’m having a Twitter chat with @tddaygame:

Don’t fall for a girl half your age.

Realize it’s only about sex and act accordingly.

Good advice. I see these “Red Pill” guys saying, “Who would EVER pick the older chick over the younger one?” But it depends on what the guy is looking for. If the age gap is too wide, a deeper or longer relationship won’t work. If I’m looking for a longer-term relationship, and I might be (I can’t fully tell… and uncommon position to find myself in), the youngest I can consider is probably 27 or 28. A 24-year-old girl is just not developed enough for me. Her likely trajectory is another two to four year relationship, breakup, then she finds a longer-term prospect. She is great for sex and I can nudge her development as a person, but as a long-term partner? No.

tddaygame said,

People on-line tend to exaggerate. When they hear “older chick” they think 50+. But as @GeorgeBruno shows, the answer also depends on how old and how experienced you are.

I think most 40+ guys couldn’t stand a 18 yo girl for longer than it takes them to cum.

I definitely can stand (and am right now, in fact) an 18-year-old girl, but a) Ms. Slav is very unusual and b) I’m not under any illusions about this being a long-term thing. I enjoy her company. She is more mature than a lot of mid-20s girls I’ve met. Even though she is different in many ways, I am not delusional enough to think we will be together over the long term. We won’t be. She also too into the non-monogamy and group thing for me to consider her for a longer or deeper relationship. She has gone “all in” as I have not truly seen before. By default, the chicks I’ve brought into the scene have clung to me, for the most part, and needed my encouragement to go forth. Ms. Slav is likely to become one of the central players in the scene over time. I have a longer piece on this I should write but haven’t yet.

I’m also pretty directive, especially with younger chicks, so I’m very able to say, “We’re going to do this… follow or don’t.” Most young chicks won’t follow. That’s okay with me. Some will. I’m also peculiar in that I have a small number of very deep interests and no interest in most things. I don’t want to go to pop concerts. I don’t want to do some other things that most 18 – 24-year-old girls love. There are some things I love doing and if I can get the chick to go with me, then great, and if not, then we can just do sex.

Bike Girl was good at being malleable to the things I want to do. But she is also not 18.

“Modern Love: Talking to My Fiancé About My New Girlfriend”

Modern Love: Talking to My Fiancé About My New Girlfriend” is very blue pill, as the guy in question should NOT marry that woman unless she makes substantially more money than he does. But I don’t know him and can’t say whether he is doing non monogamy from the inferior or superior position. He may be a guy with good game who uses non-monogamy as a retention tool, in which case, good for him. Or he could be a guy who knows he’ll lose this chick if he doesn’t acquiesce, in which case he deserves the opprobrium naive Red Pill guys throw.

I don’t know which he is and don’t see enough in that article to gauge his situation.

That so many articles like this one appear in the mainstream media is an argument that verbalizing nonmonogamy right up front could be a viable strategy.

“When a DNA Test Reveals Your Daughter Is Not Your Biological Child”

When a DNA Test Reveals Your Daughter Is Not Your Biological Child” is essential reading for players. A lot of basic guys lack a sense of what’s possible in game and seduction. Basic guys don’t have enough exposure to women to see the gap between the surface facade and the underlying desires.

This is also a lesson: get the DNA test if she says the baby is yours.