“I know it was wrong but my desire for him and for adventure was so intense”

“Some Like it Rough” is a basic female cheating story; the only surprising part is that the author claims she was monogamous for 9.5 years. The story ticks so many of the classic boxes:

Ilyas was my surf teacher for a week in Morocco. At that time, I was in a monogamous relationship for 9,5 years and I never cheated nor wanted to cheat on my partner.

She’s traveling alone and thus out of her typical environment. The likelihood of her being caught is low. This is why a lot of players love it when they open solo tourist girls.

I know it was wrong but my desire for him and for adventure was so intense.

Feelings matter more than commitments, which is why men should not marry. Marriage will not stop her. The feelings in the moment override everything.

Then he spanked me. And that changed my life. I had never been spanked during sex and I was amused and surprised. He kept doing it, and squeezing my butt too.

If a guy does not learn how to dominate a girl and do rough sex well, he is not going to keep her. Most women want to be dominated and want to submit. If a guy doesn’t make her submit, she will find another guy who will.

I was so thrilled about that incredible night, it was like having “real” sex for the first time.

More of the same.

I talked to all my friends about it and then to my boyfriend when we broke up. Everyone was very supportive and I never felt judged.

Women’s friends will encourage them to cheat. So why promise monogamy that won’t be reciprocated? Instead of pretending to do monogamy (that most people can’t or won’t do), I think going all the way in the opposite direction can be better for a guy with game.

Advertisements

“When a DNA Test Shatters Your Identity”

“When a DNA Test Shatters Your Identity” is total Red Pill, in a mainstream package. Remember when I wrote, “DNA confirms: women like to screw around, lie about it?” Same idea, different package.

Be the guy she cheats with, not the guy she cheats on.

There is one suspicious pregnancy that I’ve knowingly been a part of. It was at a business conference, years ago now, with a woman who already had one kid and was, I think, bored with her husband. She wasn’t very attractive, a low 6 probably (sorry, for those of you who who might be imagining the porn fantasy), and I think I only managed to get with her because there were two or three low 7s who could be played off her. I don’t think any of the 7s got fucked, unless they were extra conniving about it. But mine did, albeit with some sneaking around. When we eventually got to it, she badly wanted me to use a condom and I, um, didn’t want to. I eventually won and we spent the better part of two days screwing. And she spent time telling me how much she loved her husband but that she’s bored with him and that they barely have sex anymore.

We didn’t talk too much after that, as I respect the Secret Society and didn’t want the rest of her life to know about her transgression. I eventually learned, through Facebook, that she had a second kid. I looked at the timing and couldn’t help noticing the timing was pretty much perfect.

Now. She might already have been pregnant. She might have screwed six different guys in the week before the conference. Her husband might’ve done the deed the night she got home. But it’s also possible that the kid is going to do a 23andme one day and learn something shocking.

When you realize what a lot of women are capable of, your whole life and outlook changes. The man-o-sphere and Red Pill are full of guys worrying about what happens if or when their chick cheats. It’s impossible to protect yourself fully, but a guy can demand the DNA test for any kids fingered as his, and he can also realize that for every chick who cheats, there’s a guy she’s cheating with.

Our whole society is also now built around admiring and supporting women who cheat. It’s possible for a guy to stand against that cultural edifice, but it’s really hard and kind of pointless. The rewards are in being the guy she cheats with.

Downside is that I think most cheaters are older, less attractive, and have already been in a relationship for a pretty long time. So long that they’re bored and likely under appreciated. So if the right new hotness comes along, it might be time for her.

I also think chicks like the contrast. If she’s chosen a good worker guy who makes good money but is a little boring, she might be ready for exciting musician guy with the tats and shit. But if she’s chosen a free-spirited artist and is sick of not making rent or paying for the guy while he works on his music, Mr. Shit-Together $$$$ may appeal to her. I’ve seen it go both ways, more or less.

Chicks declaim responsibility

Chicks declaim responsibility: there is a kind of dumb essay, “Dead Girls, Female Murderers, and Megan Abbott’s Novel ‘Give Me Your Hand,'” you can read if you want a laugh (no link), but it is revealing about female psychology, “She’s not just any dead girl. Usually, she is white, straight, and cisgender; young and beautiful; not poor.” People care about hot fertile chicks and rich high-status guys guys. You may notice that not many murder mysteries focus on dead guys who are nice-guy janitors. They focus on presidents, CEOs, cops… guys who have power. As usual, most guys are just ignored. The murder of a young hot chick is exciting and also extremely transgressive (because she hasn’t had kids yet, probably). She excites great passion in men, up to murderous passion, and exciting that kind of passion in men is exciting to read about for women.

Young and beautiful chicks are intrinsically more interesting to both men and women, as lovers or as rivals. That’s biology at work. Women past reproductive age are not that interesting.

Abbott says, “the place women can go to read about the dark, messy stuff of their lives that they’re not supposed to talk about—domestic abuse, serial predation, sexual assault, troubled family lives, conflicted feelings about motherhood, the weight of trauma, partner violence, and the myriad ways the justice system can fail, and silence, women.” But like Camille Paglia says, any women who stays with a guy who hits her after the first time he does is complicit with the violence. She’s excited by it. Just like many if not most women who experience “sexual assault” do so because they set up the situation. They get drunk, go out, meet and entice guys, and then are surprised by what happens. The real thing no one talks about is female complicity.

Women, except for very rare women like Camille Paglia, don’t talk about this because they don’t want to take responsibility for their actions. Most of what women do is the fault of someone else, preferably a man. She’s just, you know, an innocent victim. Except that’s very rarely the case.

All this talk about “partner violence” and “sexual assault” communicates to men that women are childlike and inept. Smart, competent, and self-aware women rarely have those problems. Competent women identify potentially violent guys and avoid them. Contrary to feminist myth, those guys are readily identifiable.

And they attract women. What does that tell us?

Competent women avoid those guys… unless they are into potentially violent guys… and then when the guy does his extremely predictable thing, she depicts herself as a victim. Better for her reputation than taking responsibility for herself.

Camille Paglia also calls out the bogus #MeToo movement. It should be called the #ZeroResponsibility movement. There is nobody else like her in academia today. Christina Hoff Summers comes closest. Most “feminists” are just un-self-aware apologists for their own psychologies.

“28.3 percent of women… fantasized about…”

A 2014 study conducted by researchers at the University of Montreal and published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine suggested that 28.3 percent of women and 13.1 percent of men fantasized about having sex with more than one man at the same time, and that 24.7 of women and 75.3 percent of men fantasized about having sex with more than one woman at the same time.

That’s a summary from a trashy magazine,  but I would wager that most people won’t admit their deepest fantasies to researchers. The true number is likely higher.

I write this not to argue that you should indulge in a chick’s depraved fantasies, although I do that, but to remind you of who and what you’re dealing with beneath the surface.  Many if not most chicks will present one way and behave another. Most guys do not realize this immediately… it took me until I was well into my 20s to really get it, although I should have put together the pieces much earlier.

If you’re a guy who can execute a chick’s deepest fantasies, while also communicating to her that no one else needs to know about what she’s done, she may truly be yours.

If you’re on a date with a woman, there’s at least a one-in-four chance she’d like to try group sex. Most women will not admit that quickly, of course. But they might admit it to a non-judgmental, open guy who they’ve been sleeping with for a while.

Most guys never get to see how deep it goes. Even now, I’d bet the majority of you think you know but haven’t gone all the way. Even I’m not sure I have.

Ms. Slav story

I met this girl in a semi-warm atmosphere, and I met her because she was reading a book that I recognized: I asked her about the book, then showed her what I was reading, and when she seemed genuinely interested I asked if she wanted company for a minute (I had an errand elsewhere—a handy time constraint). In the land of Internet seduction everything is about “assuming the sale” and “asking forgiveness, not permission,” but in real life I don’t think it’s a good idea to be menacingly close to a sitting chick one has just met. Better to check with a simple, “I’ve got two minutes, mind if I sit down?” She was down and we chatted for a bit and I got her number. She’s got an accent and is from Central Europe, which is unusual, though her English is near flawless. She said no to a drink over text but did get a coffee, and at the coffee she admitted that she “kind of” had a boyfriend. She is also 18 (!), though I figured her for early 20s. We have some people in common, and that helped.

(If you’re a novice guy and want more detail on approach, see this.)

She drifted off at the time but did show up to a couple of events I was putting on. Then she went home in late May but said she’d text me when she got back. Around that time I was wrapped up in other matters and chicks, so I didn’t think much of her, as she seemed improbable. I was probably too intellectual with her, though she seemed to respond to that side of me.

On Tuesday Ms. Slav texted me to say that she’s back in town. Wednesday morning I proposed an adventure on Thursday. She said yes, and we met near a bar I chose. She was completely cool with it and maybe not surprised by the destination. I ordered us drinks at the bar and we talked books. One is about psychedelics, a topic that should interest many of you. I know people who’ve dropped acid and taken mushrooms, but this book felt like it scrambled my brain, because I didn’t know how amazing psychedelics can be.

I do know, however, that it’s not a bad idea to indirectly bring up drugs and sex, just to see what kind of girl one is dealing with. This one, it turns out, was lightly involved in some aspect of drug dealing in city where she went to boarding school. Fuck. Lots of talk about drugs and their ability to help a person achieve their best self. The talk has a hippie-ish tinge, which is fine by me.

She also says, later, she lost her virginity when she was 13 to a guy who was 18. If her stories are remotely true, she’s had more experience at age 18 than most people have had by age 28. I can see that most guys her age would be unable to handle her. She’s too mature-seeming and experienced.

Ms. Slav said she has a fake ID (not surprising to me at all) and told me about her and psychedelics, which are, it turns out, her favorite kind of drug.

Needless to say, she checks off all the “yes” boxes. We make out a little in the bar and I take her back. I slip a performance-enhancing drug, because I’m not sure how I feel after the Wednesday adventure. She’s wearing nice underwear, so she’s been thinking about what would happen. With Ms. Slav it’s good, but somehow I’m not 100% in the game. Maybe the desire was not hot enough in me: On Wednesday night I had a long, intense session with an occasional partner, so I was not at my physical peak.

She stayed over, and the next round in the morning was also good, but Ms. Slav says she’s not on birth control and doesn’t have an IUD, so finishing through the condom was tough. Maybe tough psychologically as well as physically. Good news is that the session lasted a long time, and Ms. Slav seemed to like the way I (man)handled her. She left, and then left town for the weekend and is supposed to come home pretty late tonight. I’m suposed to see her tonight or tomorrow night. I’d gauge 50-50 odds for it happening.

Friday I was worthless at work, and when I got home I took a very late nap, then went to the gym. Saturday I did some of the work I should have done Friday. Today I have a few free minutes.

Oddly, though she’s probably more attractive, Ms. Slav didn’t generate the huge, ridiculous boost and intense obsession that the 20-year-old did. Maybe because I’d been totally drained by the bedroom adventures of Wednesday night? Or maybe because I couldn’t totally hit it raw? Whatever the reason I am NOT complaining (if a guy complains about getting with a young hot girl half his age… just hit him in the face, like he deserves). I am *noting* it, however. The chemistry that makes one girl pop like a hit of MDMA while another is merely very good is mysterious. With this girl, texting discipline is easy, while with the 20-year-old I was besotted.

It’s an amazing world when like a week separates a single mom hitting on me and tagging a young lithe firm-breasted chick. Apart from the initial open, I think she picked me more than I picked her. I’m guessing too that she needed to see some social superiority/skills and some intellectual acuity. I never met the “boyfriend” but did see a few pics on her Facebook, so I’m guessing he was real, but with chicks… you never really know. No mention of him at drinks on Thursday. I didn’t ask and she didn’t tell.

If it weren’t for reading the stories of other players on the Internet, I think I’d still be under some serious misapprehensions about chicks. But when I see that other guys are experiencing some of the same things I am, it strengthens some of my hunches and lets me put together the strange pieces of the female psyche. Other guys’s stories also tell me that if they can tag young chicks, I can sometimes do it too. Which means you, the guy reading this, might also be able to do it.

Ms. Slav also let me make an AMAZING sex tape. I just looked at it for the first time. Holy hell, that girl is tiny and hot. Great at sex, great sounds, great body. I wonder if I’ll see her tonight or tomorrow, when I’m properly rested. Until today, I feel like I’ve barely had a spare moment to savor the experience and think about her. Contact with her over the weekend has been good, and she messages me far more than I message her. She reads as essentially less flakey the the 20-year-old. She also reads as a budding libidinous intellectual, or sex-driven intellectual. Usually the smartest girls are not sexy and the sexiest girls are not smart. This one seems to combine both.

It was nice to get her out… I’ve probably had 25 – 30 rejections / blowouts from randoms in recent months (correction: maybe longer than that, as I don’t keep careful track, so they’ve been spread over a pretty long time). I’ve not written about those because they’re not interesting and there’s nothing to say about them: I don’t write about everything that happens to me regarding game or women—I just choose the things that might be of more general interest. Suddenly running into this yes-girl, or girl whose unusual boxes I happen to check, is very nice.

I think I’m just picking up sexually open chicks who really like older dudes. That, or I just spin the wheel enough to get the occasional hit.

The hunt and the meal

A reply to this comment, and the reply grew so unruly that I post it independently.

>>I wrote it to show some contrast to the “notch hunt only” POV.

Maybe most guys who don’t feel the need to notch hunt also don’t end up writing player blogs. Because if they’re not driven by novelty and achievement, they’ll find an acceptable girl and stop, or stop for a while. Not much story there.

I’m in a weird space between being a notch hunter and a satisficer. I like (or liked) novelty but am not obsessed with whoever is next. But I also don’t want and won’t do the conventional relationship path. So I end up in between.

>>Super valid ^. And I LOVE the hunt, but I like this about you.

I’m glad you get to do what you love. More people should try to do what they love. I’m trying to understand myself, to some extent, by writing here. There is pretty much no one in the real world who I can say all this to. In real life, I don’t even know any hardcore players. In college my friends thought I was a “player.” My the standards of bashful college guys, I probably was. By the standards of guys on the game journey, not at all. Part of what attracts me to reading about game is codifying and elaborating on things I suspect and think but have rarely seen discussed, or discussed in any depth.

Modern society is also TERRIBLE at attempting to turn boys into men. Thus the endless individual and social pathologies that are readily observed. I love WARRIOR KING MAGICIAN LOVER for its discussion of those things. But I rarely find the right guy to give a copy.

With Bike Girl……. I told her that moving in together will destroy what we have, which is both true and also an excuse. I’ve been softening a little bit to the idea of cohabitating with a woman again, at some point, mostly because I don’t think I want to live alone, or mostly alone, forever. But I’d have to find a very special, unusual woman. It’s hard for me to even think of the characteristics she’d need to have.

Bike Girl is too normal and too young, not just in years but in dispostion or maturity, to even consider that. She isn’t quite a “catch and release women who want families” girl, but I think releasing her is the right thing to do. She wants a guy she can live with and a guy who is more conventional than me. She wouldn’t put it that way, but I can see enough of her to know.

She doesn’t try hard enough, though, to get what she wants, in either men or her work. She wants things to just come to her, and I’m like, “No… that’s not how it happens. Usually.”

If I somehow let her move in with me, that would work for a year or two. Then she’d get bored. She’d be too comfortable. I wouldn’t be able to help her become whoever she needs to become. We’d probably end up not liking each other much.

Instead, I (probably) get to be the latest jerk to break her heart. She has nothing to do with it, of course.

>>This makes me smile. I can see how that ^ would be hard to cut off. Good for you, man. You have a access to side of sex most men (myself included) cannot even imagine.

Yeah… a functional, attractive bi chick who shows up and likes to hookup with both girls and other couples… that’s rare. However much the drugs and some other aspects of her personality bug me, when I re-read what I wrote, I think, “Why formally break it off? We can see what happens.”

But I’m also not very excited about her anymore. Without some excitement, why bother? In short, I am back and forth, as these last few paragraphs show.

“Recurring Revenue, Sex, and Notes on Four Girls”

“Recurring Revenue, Sex, and Notes on Four Girls” is the most recent Nash post; in my own life, I don’t even think of it as “recurring revenue:” instead, I think of it as “what I tend to do.” If I like the girl the first time, I usually want to keep her around. It also seems that I’m somewhat less driven by pure novelty than some guys in the game, or by the desire to overcome the chick’s obstacles, like solving a puzzle:

But my point here is that I like the hunt, I like the conquest, I’m interested in my n-count… but I also like the sex itself. Not just “novel” sex, but the overall volume and opportunity for sex in my life beyond the conquest.

I’m not all that into the hunt… I’m more into the eating, to extend the metaphor some: I’m happy to skip the hunt and go straight to the meal. That may also be why my cold approach skills are not very good, since I do enough to find an acceptable chick or chicks, then stop I’m probably just getting “yes girls.” The guys who are really good love the hunt for its own sake, like an artist loves his art for its own sake.

“Skipping the hunt,” of course, is not possible most of the time. There is almost always a hunt of some kind.

I’m not talking about commitment (not at all). I’m not even suggesting making these girls “girlfriends” (I haven’t had a girlfriend in years).

I’m willing to do this, actually, but on my own weird terms, which some chicks will reject. Or accept them in theory, but not in practice.

For me, one common pattern has been: I’m with the chick -> she demands a relationship and/or moving in -> I refuse -> she ends it, or I say we have incompatible goals -> she looks for someone else, often while still sleeping with me -> she finds someone -> dates him for a while -> breakup -> back to me for a while.

(Based on her recent silence, I think Bike Girl has found someone else.)

I also have a couple of long-term partners or lovers from the non-monogamy world, who I see more frequently or less frequently depending on their situation and my situation. One of them I like a lot for sex, but I’m thinking about ending it with her because she’s too unstable in some ways. She hates her job yet can’t seem to get out of it. She’s on a bunch of  prescription drugs, including one that’s supposed to be a short-term drug, but she’s been on it for years (I don’t know what the fuck is the matter with her doctor).

But, on the other hand, she’s bisexual and a very reliable threesome partner. If she says she’s going to be somewhere, she goes there. We’ve had numerous threesomes and foursomes together because she’s so sexually uninhibited.

She raised the stakes by saying we should take a boat ride across the bay. This request seriously complicates the date (women = chaos). The boat ride was a bit of a pain in the ass, but she has asked me to do this before, and I thought I’d get it done this time.

This chick, the one I’m thinking about cutting off, is not chaotic, and that is very attractive to me because most women are. Most live in the land of “maybe.” But the drugs and her general life problems are not attractive. For such a pretty girl, her social skills are oddly poor.