Does the game have a limit? I’m still learning

For a while, I’ve thought I’ve maxed out my knowledge of the game… I know what I know, and there’s not much left to learn, cause I’ve been at it for a long time. Few days ago, though, I went out with friends and made a somewhat minor modification to the overall game, and the minor modification seemed to result in significantly improved opens and retention. “Shit,” I thought to myself, “there are still things I can do that result in what seem to be big improvements,” depending on crowd and environment. I don’t want to get specific about what I did because doing so is too revealing, but say something privately if you want to know more. If there are still things I can try to optimize, maybe game is a field that goes to infinity… you can never truly know it all. Reading most large forums, like Reddit, is unsatisfying because almost all the guys there are beginners with basic problems and situations. Nothing wrong with beginners… we’ve all been there… but “all beginners” is boring. A lot of beginners would be better off hiring a coach and spending less time on forums.

The other thing I got to thinking is a classic, but one I repeat because I saw it happen so clearly: girls get in their own way. A friend opened this hot girl, and the girl’s friend was hideous. I tried to get another guy to entertain her, but he said no, so I was like, “Fuck it, I’ll do it.” I entertain the friend for a while, maybe half an hour, then make my other buddy do it. The main friend is hitting on the hot girl. We bounce venues, and the hideous girl tells me the hot girl is out of a relationship and looking to process the breakup, or some similar girl nonsense that means, “My friend wants to hook up and have a great time.” At the new venue I entertain the friend a bit more, have a loop, open some other girls for laughs, and then I go home early cause I’m a good boy now.

Next day, apparently the hideous girl who said she was going to let her friend go fuck, didn’t do so, and hooked the hot friend into leaving. I thought it was a done deal, despite knowing that what seems to be done, isn’t, until it is. The hot girl let her “friend” get in her way. Such is the way of girls, and seeing this happen over and over again is why I laugh so hard at “feminism” and “girl power” and “girl bosses.”

My buddy is a good guy overall, and the hot girl should have done him. Whoever else she gets is probably going to be worse than him. Such is the game. Girls turn down a cornucopia of beautiful opportunities, and hold each other back, like crabs in a basket. Some men do this as well, and if you find yourself among men like that, find new friends.

Friendship and how to be real

Friend from out of town came to visit, and his visit showed me the friendship is dead. I’m mourning its death, because we were tight at one point, but time and his own personality problems have shoved us apart. He’s been depressed for years, and I’m finding myself realizing that I, or perhaps we, are trying to have the friendship of many years ago, and… it isn’t working. I’m annoyed at myself more than anything else, because I should have known this, and acknowledged it to myself, but I didn’t. I wanted him to be continuing to learn & grow, but, instead, he was busy wallowing in his own world of feelings, too inwardly directed and not sufficiently outwardly directed. I realize I’m being vague here but the specifics are too specific. I saw a tweet where a guy said, “In 2050 it will be an accepted fact that focus on psychological health (including meditation) was one of the biggest biggest disasters for the advancement of humanity ever.” That’s true of my friend, a victim of “psychological health” that is the opposite of psychological health, and a victim of his own weakness.

The visit was a waste of time… I’d thought it would be a regenerating visit in which I’d help him help himself, but he rejected the gift to instead pursue a path of folly and isolation. He thinks I don’t understand him and that I need to respect his feelings. I’m a man, though, and if “feelings” are not useful, they need to be ignored, jettisoned, and changed. Part of being a man is ignoring feelings to get things done. Losers whine about their best; men go home and f**k the prom queen. I want to f**k the prom queen (and literally have, granted we were in college at the time… another story…), not whine pointlessly about my best. He needs to read my guide, Female “friends:” the comprehensive statement, but he never will. What he thinks of as his own conviction is really cope for being inert.

Women write “No ethical non-monogamy” (ENM) on their Tinder profiles: is it true?

I’ve been seeing the screenshots make the rounds: a woman’s online dating profile says, “no ENM” or “no poly.” The most interesting part of those profiles isn’t whether she’s telling the truth… it’s that enough guys have figured out ENM for women to preemptively declare they’re not into it. I’m sure some of those declarations are sincere and they’re looking for their babydaddy. RPD thinks we’re still in a situation in which most women will say “no” to ENM… I think there’s some truth in that point of view, maybe a lot of truth, but it’s also true that, pitched properly, a lot of chicks will be up for it.

How? It’s not the guy being like, “Let’s go to a sex club, maybe we can fuck some new chicks.” Instead, it’s the guy whose social world is intertwined with ENM world (THE GOOD GIRL depicts this). The guy meets a new girl, she likes him, they sleep together, the guy makes risotto for her on the sex date, they date a bit, she meets his friends. His friends are cool (like your friends are cool, right?). They’re hosting parties. At the parties, a lot of the people take mdma, but they’re cool, functional people, not drug idiots. The girl will take some, or, if she doesn’t, she’ll be around people having the time of their lives. There’d be a mini-orgy in one corner. Some girl would tell your girl, let’s call her Marcia, she’s pretty… and the two girls would make out.

Few things of value are free

The only free cheese is in a mousetrap. Some guy writes to me to ask, “Would you be able to give me some tips personally?” I guess he gets points for brazenness and going, “Will you give me for free the thing most people pay for?”, but, by that standard, the guy asking for change on the corner gets some points too. Sure buddy, I’m in a hurry to give you, a random guy, time and attention. It’s a top priority. He’s not the first with this request… if he were, I’d ignore it, but I get it often enough for me to wonder what’s wrong with these guys. I linked him to paid coaching, but I sense that the way he goes about asking for free shit is indicative of his failures with chicks… he says, “I haven’t had much success.” Right, cause if his approach with me is bad, his approaches with chicks are probably bad too. I don’t know him. He’s not offering money. Why would I bother? He lacks the wit to learn how to properly ask the question he’s asking. Why would I think he has the wit to learn anything?

He’s not written a player blog, something I recommend guys do, so he’s giving nothing back to the community. I routinely talk about “reciprocity” as a fundamental element in human relationships. Even newbie guys can have useful things to say about whatever’s happening on their journey. This guy wants free stuff… contrast him with someone like Madd Monk, who is telling his story, and who I’ve left comments for and talked with some in email. Madd Monk seems like an interesting guy who’s making some progress in the world… he may have started his player’s journey blog with my encouragement. What’s the guy asking me for free coaching providing to anyone else? Has he read me speculating that there is no real money in game coaching? This could be what chicks feel like, when guys unartfully ask them for sex.

There are ways to get advice from experienced players. Money talks. Contributions talk. A guy showing he’s worth some investment, talks. The internet is full of people trying to cadge something for nothing, while a few of us talk about the importance of real, lasting value. Prove yourself first. Men spend our entire lives proving ourselves, over and over again. Are you a man? The modern education system says “gender is just a construct,” which is the thing only two classes of guys say: the vast majority are pathetic guys who don’t get laid. The other class of guy is so high status that he can say it and get away with it, because he can already get copiously laid. He’s a version of the rich guys who dress like hobos, because they have so much money that they don’t care about he signal, or are going to counter-signal. Women who say “gender is a social construct” want to f**k guys who are hot, fun, interesting, challenging, competent, tall, desired by other women, etc…. like all the other women do… “gender is a social construct” is a troll, disconnected from their real experience and preferences. “Gender is a social construct” “I also want a guy who is over six feet tall and makes over six figures a year”—the same girl. Men learn we have to earn our way. Women get a lot of value delivered to them at puberty, by being thin and young. Create and display your value, or lose to guys who do. Choice is yours. You can choose to pick up the video game controller, or you can choose to create value.

What science, engineering, math, and other nerds get wrong about talking to women

Science, engineering, math, and other nerds often care foremost about correctness, and their conversation shows their main priority, but “caring deeply about correctness” is unusual… in conversation, most people, especially attractive women, care about creating a positive vibe, laughing, group feeling, finding hierarchies, showcasing values, yeeting the outgroup, etc. Being factually right and learning new things is less than secondary, less than tertiary. This divergence in interest and purpose leads to a common failure mode between nerds and attractive women, and the conversation often goes something like,

Cute girl: blah blah blah blather…

Nerd: Excuse me, but, actually, I need to interrupt to say I know that, in reality, if you look at the fossil record and consider what this one paper says, you’ll see…

Cute Girl: No one cares! Like I was saying, Tommy said that Bobby said this crazy thing about Bree…

Male nerds think gossip is stupid, and then discount the conversation of most attractive women, and in doing so reduce their chances of sleeping with those attractive women. Male nerds might be right or wrong about gossip being stupid, but gossip is how women determine rank and hierarchy, and thus who to f**k. Attractive women seeking good vibes are going to care a lot about fluency and how a man makes them feel, and not so much about the precise content of the man’s patter.

In contrast, someone focused on factual correctness in conversation will often stumble and pause, regroup to think, choose words carefully, stop to overwrite himself, etc. He’ll be less fluent but more accurate. Women often interpret nerd conversational style as weakness or stupidity, though it may be the opposite, as the nerd is groping towards correctness.