Asian guys, dating, the game, and embracing the struggle

I’ve met Asians guy who f**k lots of girls, of any and all races, and they have a few things in common: they lift or are at least fit, they’ve got good fashion/style, they have good interpersonal skills, they’re not afraid to approach chicks (or they conquer their approach fear)… there are probably a couple other things they commonly do that don’t come to mind right away, but, if you look at that list, you’ll notice that none of it is specific to Asian guys. It’s what guys who’re good at sleeping with lots of girls do. The topic is on my mind cause I’ve talked to Asian guys who’re learning the game, and at the start of their journeys, they often think they have some special stigma around being Asian, when most often they don’t: what they have is weak game, and, like any guys who do poorly with chicks, they have to learn good game, if they want to wildly succeed. And wild success is extremely possible for Asian guys. The topic arises cause of this extremely lame, but slightly interesting, article, “Men’s Rights Asians” Think This Is Their Moment. Asians have men’s rights activists?  I hesitate to call it an “article” cause the writer spent a few hours on Reddit and then boom! calls it research, but that’s what passes for journalism today. Journalists are too lazy to leave their couches.

The article says that there are Asian race traitors who’ve joined the anti-Asian social-justice warrior movement… and that is true. But the article also gives examples of loser brigading Asian guys who’d be better off sharpening their game than harassing randoms on the Internet. A lot of these guys are very interested in what Asian chicks do… “The posts are dotted with contemptuous mentions of WMAF: white male–Asian female relationships. Bananarang refers derisively to an Asian woman who’s previously dated white men but is currently seeking a relationship with an Asian man. PAA, or ‘progressive Asian activist,’ is a pejorative term similar to ‘social justice warrior’ for Asians who ascribe to liberal, feminist values.” Okay, some of these are pretty funny, and I hope to one day accuse a hot Asian chick of being a bananarang. I personally don’t care much what Asian or white or Hispanic chicks are doing unless they’re hot and bending over in front of me… it’s most helpful for guys to focus on improving themselves, not worrying about what everyone else is doing. Asian chicks are chicks, doing chick things and having chick desires. The vital question is, what is any given guy doing to fulfill those desires? Whining about being Asian on the Internet isn’t going to make a guy into a superior player.

In my view, guys who want to f**k more and hotter girls have more in common with one another, regardless of race, than we do with chicks, regardless of race. I believe this qualifies me as an “intersectional feminist.” Chicks are going to want to f**k who they want to f**k… for chicks, telling guys not to prefer big boobs, a high tight ass, smooth supple skin, solid shaving/grooming, etc., is a loser’s game. Guys aren’t going to change our preference in response to chicks telling us we should. Tell a guy he should prefer older, heavier chicks and he might nod along… but he’s still going to seek the hotter chicks. The other way around is also true, telling Asian chicks they should prefer Asian men cause of some kind of race solidarity or whatever isn’t going to work. Chicks like hot, just like guys do, although the average preferences of chicks and guys differ.

If there’s anything Asian-specific to customize in the game for Asian guys, it might be to be a little more aggressive in pursuing girls, to counteract the stereotype of Asian guys as being overly passive. Apart from that, though, the way Asian guys do well in the game is pretty much the same as the way guys in general do well at the game. The challenge seems to be that Asian immigrant parents prioritize scholastic achievement over everything else, driving their kids from an early age to ace school tests. All else being equal chicks prefer “smarter” guys, but chicks really really prefer hot guys who make them tingle. An Asian guy who doesn’t start optimize for generating tingles and flirting until college or later is going to be behind a typical white, black, or Hispanic guy’s stage of social development for a given age, if he’s had that sort of parent. This level of being behind doesn’t apply nearly as much to Asian girls, though, because guys will begin hitting on Asian girls whenever the girls reach maturity. By the time a cute Asian girl is 20, she’s likely had dozens or hundreds of more aggressive guys hitting on her. An Asian guy may have to develop those flirting skills, that other guys learn from older guys or from locker rooms and such.

Life course makes a difference, but regardless of a guy’s age when he learns about the game and how to systematically practice and master it, what’s the alternative? He can’t go back in time and make himself start learning the game when he was in middle school. There are Asian guys who grew up with academically obsessed parents who learned the game later on. Go find those guys and learn from them. Much game knowledge is free, online. Learn it, practice it, tell others what you’ve found. Some Asian guys appear to have mental barriers to success. I don’t know how to overcome those, but I do know that lifting heavy, practicing jiu-jitsu, opening one’s self emotionally with psychedelics, developing positive mindset, and similar strategies are important. Learning to understand and forgive one’s parents is important too.

Many stories about heroes overcoming adversity entail physical and mental training, often together… an Asian guy with mental blockages between him and tight p***y may have to undergo those trials. There is no easy way: there is only the hard way. Maybe there’s an analogue here to what some black people think, if they internalize the message that blacks are dumb or violent or whatever. Coddling, though, doesn’t work. One reason the military successfully makes many boys into men is that, whatever the flaws of service may be, coddling isn’t one. Time on reddit complaining about racism against Asians isn’t going to get any guy p***y. Maybe some of these Asian sites and reddits about resentment can ensnare Asians with anger… but to advance, it’s necessary to move past anger and into action. Being mired in anger is like being a mammoth stuck in a tar pit.

Will you be the guy changing the media dynamic by uploading your homemade Asian male, white female pr0n? Or will you be the guy jerking it to someone else’s material? I could be an Asian guy: you don’t know. I am no one, but the voice in your mind, whispering about how to better f**k more and hotter chicks. Will you listen?

Did this random stock photo make you click on the post?
This image is completely gratuitous, but it’s been claimed that posting pics of attractive women increases the number of people who read the article, so here one is, let’s see if it works.

How to think about “future projection” on dates, and how to retain girls better

Sometime along the way to being a player, I figured out that it’s often useful to say something about date 2 when I’m on date 1 with a girl: mention cooking, for example, and say, “Come over for dinner, next time.” Then set a date, usually two days from the moment of the date. So if the date is Tuesday, shoot for Thursday, and feel out her schedule, and schedule that date.[1] Making things happen is man frame, accepting offers is woman frame. Text her the next day, “Good seeing you yesterday, and I’m looking forward to seeing you tomorrow at [time].” She can decline the date at that point (and sometimes does, it happens, it’s all in the game). My classic strategy has been one or two bars on date 1, then try to bounce her home, if possible, and my working theory has been that she’ll respect the effort to lay her, and the boldness, even if she says no. Magnum has used a two-date model successfully, which seems to reduce flakiness and female rejection due to self-perceived negative sluttiness. He thinks the two-date model helps with retention, and he may be right about that, although if the girl feels “on” during date one, he’ll lay her or at least try.

Game is about balancing tension and comfort, and I think most guys who get into the game and studying the game are nerds who tend towards too much comfort and insufficient edge.

Continue reading “How to think about “future projection” on dates, and how to retain girls better”

Join the network and create the reality-based future

You should always listen to Balaji S: though he has little to directly say about the game, he has much to say about the nature of reality and much else that is game adjacent. Today, in Bitcoin, China, the “Woke” Mob, and the Future of the Internet, he speaks to the rise of networks and networked cities and states as a means of resisting the totalizing impulses of centralized, coercive states. This gets me thinking about the “woke” world that hates and feminizes men, despite despising, on a dating and mating level, the feminized men who result. If you buy into woke and being a p***y, you won’t get laid, and yet many guys seem to buy into this nonsense and indoctrination, and a larger number of women claim to want p***y guys while f**king typical hot, successful guys. What’s going on with the guys who buy the woke narrative? Could be that most guys don’t care about getting laid—or is it that getting laid in 2021 is really hard for most average guys because they don’t get it how it works and how to make it work for them, and for that reason either don’t try very hard or quit? Yours truly, however, still does try, and still feels some impulse to resist the ubiquitous media nonsense that celebrates failure and weakness instead of winning and strength. What is to be done?

Continue reading “Join the network and create the reality-based future”

Roy Walker: “One hundred daygame lays”

Roy Walker commemorates 100 daygame lays. He finds that “As expected, there are no medals, revelations, epiphanies, or deep learning points… I didn’t even get an MPUA card. The 100th girl, although extremely hot, felt just like all the others. I banged her, and then more or less instantly couldn’t wait to get rid of her. EE’S BREUKAN.”

His blog is more like the lads and bros telling war stories than like the educator offering lessons in how to dismantle and reassemble the mechanism. He seems like a guy who played a lot of sports and was a social leader at school… and thus unlike most guys writing about the game. Some guys need a nudge that this is possible, and the stories can provide that nudge, as well as a glimpse of the varieties and randomness of chicks, from the ones who pop right into the bed to the ones who are a titanic struggle. A guy who can’t effectively get dates isn’t going to get much from reading him as he’s too advanced, and the potential reader likely needs to work on his own value.

Paying for women (no, not that way: on dates)

Xbtusd tackles a perennial topic, coming at it from a different angle: should the guy pay on dates?

I have a distinct memory from high school, of a girl I was interested in, explaining how attractive women procure alcohol: she said they flirt with older guys who have fake IDs, giving the older guys the impression a hookup might be available, and then leverage that relationship to get alcohol.  I was furious when I learned this, but eventually asked the girls to ask the guys to buy me alcohol without telling the dudes it was for another dude.  Today we would call those dudes “simps,” but back then pretty much everyone was a simp.  Dudes with cars would DD (“designated driver”) for carloads of women ferrying them around from party to party and back to their houses all over town.  Often, these dudes didn’t even think they could hook up with the girls, they just wanted to be needed by attractive women for something.  To feel validated as a human and potential sexual option.  To feel seen.

That experience left a strong emotional mark on me at a formative age, and I vowed I’d never be like those pathetic losers.  In many ways that early experience served me, since they taught me to always avoid situations where you are giving away value and getting nothing.  In other ways I’ve hewed too strongly to this principle, for fear of the humiliation I associate with finding out I’ve been manipulated and turned into a simp.  

In college, I was at a school where fraternities dominated the social scene.  I joined one of the most prominent frats and had the time of my life running the school’s social life.  Frats were an interesting social element because we simped for women, but always made sure it was transactional.  We spent tons of money throwing amazing parties, providing free alcohol to women, and, in exchange, the pussy flowed freely.  Most guys wish they had the opportunity to “pay,” however indirectly, for pussy in the way we did.  And yet, there were still nuances to the game.  A rival fraternity that some friends were in, took the simping way too far.  They shamelessly catered to women, playing whatever “gay” song of the day was on the top of all the freshman girls’ iPods at dance parties, and preparing non-beer drinks (unheard of) to get all the young girls who didn’t drink beer yet, drunk.  The more they swallowed their pride and gave the women what they wanted, the more their penises were swallowed by the youngest and hottest girls.  And yet, no girl who was not a freshman would be seen dead there, even if that’s where she had spent the majority of her freshman year.

There’s clearly some line where simping works, in the sense of “doing things for women,” but when you go too far, you lower your value, and women lose respect for you. Smart guys find that line. Where does courtesy end, and simping begin? Which brings me to my question: to pay or not to pay for women on dates?  I’ve always been of the opinion that if the woman wants to split, I split, and, if not, I assume I’ll pay: but I never insist and I don’t give them any pushback.

My girlfriend went on a first date with a guy last week, and one of the things she remarked on was that while she was in the bathroom he paid the bill without her knowing.  When he was ready to go he was like, “let’s get out of here,” and when she inquired about the bill he cooly remarked that he’d already taken care of it.  Smooth.  She considers herself a feminist, and has always insisted on paying half on dates, and she historically has gone on a lot of dates.  I’ve been questioning her reasoning, now that we’re in a relationship: why not let the guy pay?

She told me she found it incredibly sexy that he paid for her, and it felt to her similar to how she’s envisioned a sex worker feels. The man desires her so much that he wants to pay for access to her body.  She used the term, “worships my body.”  

On her second date with this guy he invited her to his place and offered to pay for her car home because he lives quite a ways away, and she’d be coming home late.  Again, she was incredibly turned on by this arrangement and said, “fuck feminism, this is so hot.”  

Quite a shift, and an intriguing one.

What’s the difference between simping, and fulfilling a masculine script?

Guys online, hearing his story, might call him a simp. I’d call him successful. 

Note: For context he is 18 years older than her so he is fulfilling a more older gentleman script which might be experienced differently if they were a similar age.

Red Quest here. I think it’s generally wise to pay for early dates, unless she absolutely insists on splitting, or unless you’ve had a miserable date and don’t want to see her again anyway. Protecting value is important, but not at the expense of masculine leadership and identity… though I’ve probably flip-flopped on this issue, depending on mood and recent experiences.

This also seems like an area where girls who are asked, by friends or when sober, will say, “I am a feminist and want to pay half on dates.” When girls are out with a man they’re attracted to, their feminine sides are more assertive, and they’ll like the man behaving like a man, so she can behave like a woman. It’s not what the girl says, it’s what she does… and who she does.

I’ve slept with annoying “feminist” girls who will make dumb claims like “there are no differences between men and women.” If girls make those kinds of claims, I ignore them, or steer the conversation in different directions… my goal is to f**k, not to have political arguments.

After this was published, I read “The Woman Crushing on the Guy From Her Mutual-Aid Group,” which includes the line, “Noah doesn’t buy my Uber home and I’m bitter.” It’s a common mistake to underestimate women’s pettiness and entitlement.

Game and group sex are many things, but boring isn’t among them

Game and group sex, conceived of as hobbies, are rarely (and arguably never) boring. The spikes and crashes are very affecting, creating a lot of turmoil as one succeeds beautifully but also fails hideously. The subject comes up because of:

Marc Andreessen: I think people forget how boring things were before the internet. People really like to be into things. People like to have thing, something that isn’t just like go to work, come home, go to work the next day, change the baby’s diaper today, change the baby’s diaper tomorrow… people like to have a thing.

If you go back thousands of years the thing was the gods, the tribe, the family, whatever cult you were in. If you progress through to the last 2000 years people got super into the big religions, Protestantism, Catholicism, Judaism, Islam and so forth. The rise of mass media, they got super into movies, media, and then some fringe political movements and actual cults. People got super into Scientology. But they were kind of these big movements, and a lot of other people were in them. It was never that distinctive or original to be Catholic or something. It was a marker of identity but it wasn’t a marker of uniqueness in the way that modern man looks for.

There used to be a term for activities that people would do to pass the time before the internet. The term has almost completely died and the term is “hobby.” People used to have hobbies. When I was a kid it was like “what do you do when you get home from work or school, you have a hobby.” And if you remember what hobbies were when I was a kid, it was like stamp and coin collecting. [laughs] It was like ham radio, wood-working. Maybe there were a few people who were into wood-working or stamp collecting and after the first couple months, it’s like “ok it’s just a bunch of stamps in a book, this is boring, onto the next thing.”

The internet has just killed hobbies. They’re dead, all gone, the concept doesn’t even exist. It’s funny, the concept of having a hobby died at the same time as the concept of “going online” was introduced, which is a phrase you heard constantly from 1994-2005. You would get home at night and you would go online. The big internet company in the 1990s was actually America Online; this was a big deal, Americans could go online. And starting in the mid-2000s Americans stopped going online because we’re now online all the time. The idea of not being online now is a weird thing.

Hobbies died when everybody went online. So what replaced hobbies? And to your point, what replaced hobbies was basically internet movements. The benign way to put it would be internet communities, the somewhat more intense way to put it would be internet cults, right? Now what are people into? They’re not into stamp or coin collecting. They’re into socialism online or MAGA or QAnon, or the Trump Russia conspiracy or bitcoin or Elon…

Richard: That sounds awful! [laughing] Compared to socialism or MAGA or QAnon or wokeness and Russiagate, stamp collecting sounds like an improvement!?

Marc: Yeah yeah yeah! But I’d say literally that’s what’s happening. You could paint a picture of that and say these are destructive things and everybody is crazy and all that stuff. You could also say it’s not boring! Things were pretty boring, things were pretty dull. And actually, this would be a right-wing argument. One of the right-wing arguments is that man is simply not meant to be an atomized economic function. Man is not optimized to literally be like a drone, just drifting along the waves of history and to not have a principled position on where he should stand, and not have a sense of identity on something greater than himself, a connection to community and society and all these things.

Having been in longer relationships with women, the longer and deeper relationships can feel stable and comforting, but they’re often boring, too. That’s why chicks are constantly hassling their boyfriends for expensive, out-of-country vacations, because the chick is bored and needs entertainment (which chicks derive almost exclusively from men).

Game is rarely boring though it can be alienating… alienating, because it can facilitate many short-term, shallow relationships, and those come at the expense of long-term relationships. For almost all of human history, virtually all relationships were long term… it should not surprise us that a sudden change to numerous, short-term, successive relationships is jarring to our psychology. In my own life I’ve been in long-term relationships and felt the call of the wild. 

Consensual non-monogamy, which is a primary topic of the work you are reading now, tries to be both exciting (new sex partners!) but also grounding (you can have new sex partners while having a primary relationship)… so, you can do some relationship building and some stranger-sex having. This ties into the Internet because “online” of course organizes and facilitates game and non-monogamy: game, in something like its modern form, comes about from guys networking online to trade ideas about how to seduce and f**k chicks. Non-monogamy has gotten more popular because people interested in having intense sex experiences can now find one another, which wasn’t practical pre-Internet. Strangers can go on dates, and a bunch of strangers can converge on a spot for meetups and sex. The Internet facilitates niche interests and communities: it helps people become more extreme, by letting us create mutual reinforcement loops. Whether this is “good” or “bad” probably depends on the community and topic… but it does mean that things like game and group sex can happen.

I disagree with Marc A. in that internet movements didn’t replace hobbies for most people: instead, most people are passively scrolling social media. Maybe that is “the” hobby, but I think of hobbies as being active. It’s easier than ever to learn how to lift weights, but the average person is fatter than ever. Information about how to get laid is easier to acquire than ever but most guys don’t seem to care, preferring, it seems, pr0n and video games, letting the machine become a substitute for the real. The social media thing is so bad that I developed bits about how Instagram is lame, and I’ll use those bits on dates, and the girls will usually agree, and some will even agree that they should stop… but they often say they “can’t.” Sex parties forbid cell phone use, which give them a very “in the moment” feel compared to most of what passes for social life today, in which people are maybe 30% in the moment and 70% waiting for something to happen on their phones. Seriously, talk to girls about what their phones are like, and if you’re close to the girl, you’ll see that she gets like 10 notifications per minute… she is incapable of thinking about anything for more than a few minutes without her phone going off. On some level she knows that’s bad, but she mostly won’t stop herself. And, if she’s hot, she doesn’t need to.

It could be that, before the Internet, a lot of people had sex for lack of anything else to do. Now it’s a more affirmative choice, so there’s less of it, because we can watch other people get laid on Netflix instead. A lot of people choose boring.

Action matters, yet we’ve lost the habit of action. The problem today is almost never a shortage of access or information. We are most often our own worst enemy. 

Lessons for men and players from The State of Affairs

The State of Affairs should be assigned reading to guys thinking about marrying but also to guys who want to be players… Esther says, “Whether we like it or not, philandering is here to stay. And all the ink spilled advising us on how to ‘affair-proof’ our relationships has not managed to curb the number of men and women who wander.” I beg you not to despair, but to contemplate the truth of that statement and think about it before you consider marrying some woman: fidelity is temporary, but some other dude’s baby is forever. What should we do with this knowledge? Consensual non-monogamy is one answer, one that I’ve elucidated extensively, probably tediously, since Perel says “infidelity has a tenacity that marriage can only envy.” Speaking of infidelity “also plunges us into today’s culture of entitlement, where we take our privileges for granted.” She says “entitlement,” but “narcissism” would be a truer, more accurate word: the ocean of attention available to women on Instagram loosens whatever bond to a man any individual woman might once have had. All her exes live in texts, waiting for her to resurrect the affair: social media dissolves the bonds of marriage and affection like strong acid dissolves metals. Women know it and will, in private, admit it… an individual man cannot keep up with the man parade on her phone, with her ADD mind as it flicks and scrolls and fantasizes. What are you going to do with this information? If you’re like most men, you’re going to ignore it, pretend it doesn’t exist, like most people pretend that growing atmospheric carbon dioxide emissions somehow won’t affect them… the past year has demonstrated the human organism’s capacity for denial, which knowledge cannot seem to staunch. There is “more freedom, as well as more uncertainty” today, but most countries fight against standard DNA testing at birth.

You can be the guy she cheats on, or the one she cheats with. Which do you prefer? Choose?

Esther says, “Affairs are a pathway to risk, danger, and the defiant energy of transgression.” And chicks are addicted to those dopamine hits today, just look at a chick on her smartphone social media apps for confirmation. Then try to have a detailed conversation with her about… any topic, really. See how deep her knowledge goes. See how committed she is to deepening it. Some chicks learn things, most don’t… but they love the excitement and are addicted to excitement in a way that inhibits long-term relationships, which can’t be adequately exciting to a girl whose imagination is formed by Instagram. Long-term relationships don’t look like what’s on TV or social media, and narcissism poisons long-term relationships. In May 2020, I wrote about How I see dating, girls, COVID-19, and the quarantines, right now, and suggested most girls would get quarantine boyfriends (QBFs): as vaccination finishes off the pandemic, it’ll be interesting to see how many of the QBFs survive re-opening. Quarantine relationships have been very real world, and not grandiose in the way girls have trained themselves on the media to dream.

Esther speaks indirectly of Red Pill and seduction when she writes, “Truth can also be irrevocably destructive and even aggressive, delivered with sadistic pleasure. On more than one occasion, I’ve seen honesty do more harm than good, leaving me to ask, Can lying sometimes be protective?” Learning some of the things I have learned may have been destructive and aggressive: did they do more harm than good? Probably not: but I am irrevocably changed by them, and I have heard from guys who have been changed by reading this. For the better? Maybe. We should be thinking about the truth more seriously… Esther says, “We have long known that one moment of lust can leave a legacy for generations. For much of history, the inevitable consequences of adultery were illegitimate children.” They still are, something that implies we should have standard genetic testing at birth. For a modern man, you never know… Esther tells many stories, like,

When Shaun found out that Jenny had been sleeping with a fellow PhD student, he felt like years of unconditional support had been repaid with a slap in the face. “I managed to stop myself from kicking the shit out of the guy, but just barely.” Instead he called her parents (less dangerous, more damaging) because he felt they needed to know who their daughter really was. “I worked so hard to give her everything she wanted—to let her leave her full-time job to get that expensive and useless PhD in medieval history.”

“Beta male” is not my favorite term but it applies here and this book is full of beta males like Shaun. There isn’t much to say beyond “Don’t be Shaun,” something you already know. Women often say they want domesticity, only to find that it kills their libidos… Esther talks about a man named “Don” who is “by no means the first man or woman to come to me to carp about sexual ennui at home.” Esther says many of those having affairs find them “a form of self-discovery, a quest for a new (or a lost) identity.” A “good” woman, Priya, who is having an affair, is seeing “a crisis of identity, an internal rearrangement of her personality. In our sessions, we talk about duty and desire, about age and youth.” For men the important lesson is that even the “good” ones might be ready to have an affair, you don’t know until you try. This girl, who I slept with, coded as “good girl” in many respects. Some of RPD’s field reports concern married chicks, although I don’t remember which ones he’s identified publicly as being married. Another woman says,

“My husband hasn’t been able to get my juices flowing in more than a decade,” Allison exclaims. “I was thirty-five and convinced there was something medically wrong with me. In all other ways, we share so much. He’s my best friend, my copilot, and from the outside, we look perfect. Then Dino showed up, and with just a few words and suggestions, he did what all the lubricants and toys had not been able to do for me. It was an amazing feeling—as if he activated me.”

Of course it’s the husband’s fault, for Allison, because the man bears the burden of performance. If you marry a woman, you’re setting up to be paying alimony and “child” support to an Allison. Esther says “the overfamiliarity that develops when intimacy and closeness replace individuality and mystery” makes women less eager to f**k. Yet that is often what needs to happen to have kids: so women get the kids they think they want, and are then primed to have an affair. Crazy! In an affair, “There is certainly no risk of the overfamiliarity that comes from sharing a bathroom for decades. Mystery, novelty, and the unknown are built in.” She says it again, “the over-familiarization of an intimate partner spells disaster for sex. The person becomes divested of his or her erotic identity. The relationship may be very loving, affectionate, and tender, but it is devoid of desire.” Consider separate bathrooms. Bedrooms, if you can afford them.

In my view, more married couples should try sex clubs and LSD, leaving the kids with the grandparents for the LSD f**k weekend. In addition, both men and women should quit simple carbs and let the kids be feral and independent, and not indulge helicopter parenting.

I want to be fair, like blindfolded Lady Justice, and there are stories of men who are mean, as well as different sorts of beta guys, for instance, “Isabelle can count on one hand the times she and Paul have had sex during their ten-year marriage, and she doesn’t have to use all her fingers. ‘Within weeks of our wedding, he lost interest.'” That’s no doubt fine for some people but it wouldn’t work for me, and Isabelle is justified in whatever she does… if he’s a guy won’t f**k a woman, she’ll find some other guy who will, and that is fairness.

The book unfortunately wastes a bunch of time talking about gay guys, who are irrelevant for straight men, because gay men are incapable of monogamy and most of them acknowledged that (there are a few exceptions, as there are with any such large group). Gay men also can’t get pregnant or impregnate another man, so they’re safe from that. It’s not hard at all to learn about gay male culture, just ask any gay dude, they’ll tell you that monogamy isn’t a thing, not really. Gay men prefer f**king more men to less and their partners want the same.

I wrote about The State of Affairs in 2018. For players the key takeaway is, “So what if she’s married? She might be bored. Take a chance.” Women have already tacitly given themselves permission, and Esther gives them an ideology about why it’s good.

This is your red pill / pickup “guru,” Roosh

Do you want to listen to a guru whose own life is in shambles, one who is poor and unemployed, or underemployed, and living in his mom’s basement? Neither do I… way back in the dawn of the player world, I read some of the work done by a guy named Roosh V, who wrote about his pickup/player journey… but pretty early on, something seemed off about him, and, although I didn’t track specific passages or moments of “off-ness,” I stopped reading him. There is a common refrain among chicks who hate players that players “hate” women, which is mostly wrong, and yet Roosh did seem to resent women, and to have zero sense of proportion… the Internet is a perfect place for people with zero sense of proportion to find one another, band together, and complain. “Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen,” says badass alpha playboy Sean Connery in The Rock, a movie from back in the ’90s, when fewer people were fat and more people were normal. Which do you want to be? I prefer the prom queen route. It is not a bad idea to emulate Sean Connery. Unfortunately, the school system today encourages whining, and few adults willingly tell kids, “No one cares about your excuses, only your performance matters.”

In his podcast (no link, deliberately), Roosh says that he’s now poor and living at home with his mom. He must be 40, maybe older… he says he’s found God and become a Christian… no problem with the latter, but should we take his Christianity any more seriously than his life as a player? Or is there something wrong within him, driving both belief patterns and systems? I personally don’t recall the part of the Bible the encourages guys to sponge off their elderly parents, but maybe it’s in there somewhere and I missed it.

Is Roosh a weird dude, with his weirdness changing shape and form over time?

Continue reading “This is your red pill / pickup “guru,” Roosh”

Traveling tourist girls and the fate of daygame

Many reports seem to find that daygame, and game generally, works less well than it did before Feb. 2020, and these reports come from experienced, knowledgable, and previously successful guys. Why is game worse? I’ve been reading game blogs or forums for at least a decade, probably a bit longer, and most cold approach guys report that tourist/traveler girls make up a pretty solid percentage, maybe the majority, of the girls they get traction from… which may be why it seems to work better in tourist destinations like NYC or London. This girl came from online, not daygame, but she was visiting and therefore more open than usual to meeting random men, such as myself. Right now, for obvious reasons, tourism is down, and, with so much misplaced vaccine hesitancy fueling COVID’s spread, tourism is likely to stay down for the next month, at least, and maybe longer.[1]

Continue reading “Traveling tourist girls and the fate of daygame”

Intense experiences in bed during sex: BDSM & analogues

People want primal, immediate, physical experiences, yet much of the modern world is set up to deny exactly that. As the modern world becomes more cerebral, disconnected, abstract, and disembodied, we want to get the opposite. There is nothing like the immediacy of fucking or fighting to bring out the intense and immediate. BDSM is now commonplace because women want it to be commonplace… chicks are the primary readers of 50 Shades of Grey, a book I tried to read but it was too bad to get past the first few pages… chicks are also the primary readers of its predecessor novel, 9 and 1/2 weeks. Someone like Aella can write, “Forceful sex is a primal way of taking away the stress of choosing a sufficiently high status mate – that I am not admitting anything about my sense of sexual self worth by having sex with his person.” And the “forceful” aspect increases the intensity of the experience, in a world where intense physical experiences are too rare. We evolved to have them, not to stare into a glass box ten hours a day. Psychedelics are becoming more popular because they also create immediacy and the feeling of immediacy.

I didn’t fully get this when I was younger, but when I was younger the world also hadn’t digitized to the extent it has now, so I didn’t need to. Today, guys have to learn to reject the smartphone way and accept the real-world way, and that’s especially true in bed. The best sexual experiences almost always happen when at least one person, and ideally both, “forget” everything else, forget themselves, and there’s only the other person and the sensation the other person generates in this world. BDSM is one way to achieve that, particularly for women, which is why the first link in this post goes to one about BDSM and how to achieve it. Too much “Do you like this?” and “Is this okay?” talk turns most chicks off, because they don’t want legalistic bullshit and posturing, they want a guy who “just gets it” and can read their signals. The downside of this common desire in chicks, however, is the risk for the guy that the chick will regret what she does and then make the typical accusations that we commonly see today. Unfortunately, if the guy can’t read her signals and generate powerful, primal experiences, she’s not going to like him (or sex with him) that much. I don’t see a solution to this dilemma apart from both dudes and chicks being consistently reasonable… ha, good luck with that.

I’m not denying that the abstract world of the mind is important. If I didn’t think it is, I would not be writing here, reading books, or doing the work I do. But there’s a lot of need for balance and the world is strongly imbalanced towards the abstract and cerebral right now. People deny their real physical tangible existence and suffer for it. Normal women love flirting in the real world, for example, but many guys and chicks are becoming the sorts of autists who can’t flirt. Solution? Online dating and paying for online dating, but that has all the problems that everyone today is aware of. One problem many modern guys have is that chicks will respond on chat apps or social media but never get together in real life, because the chicks suffer from the paradox of choice and moreover have forgotten how to exist in the real world.

Some guys are responding to this excess focus on the intellectual world by lifting weights, rock climbing, practicing bdsm, learning jiu-jitsu, or taking psychedelics (or MDMA).

We live in an instant gratification society. Most people want the digital instant gratification. But that is not how the real world works, especially the sexual real world, where chicks usually want more time to see the guy and get comfortable with the guy. Most good real-world things come from slowly building work efforts. Yes, it’s true that there are a small number of guys who get lots of good things handed to them by genetics and their families. Fine, whatever. For most guys, it’s all about the work you put in, every day. You only see the tip of the spear, one of the more important things I’ve ever written.

BDSM on average becomes more important as people spent more time on their screens and less time in reality. She doesn’t actually want to spend all the time on Instagram, she doesn’t know better. Are you going to help her become the person she really truly wants to be? If you are, that’s going to set you apart from the normal guy. Most guys are too busy playing video games to be that guy.

I was in my early 20s the first time a woman took my hands and put them around her neck. It shocked me. I didn’t know what I was doing. I think Google was around at that time but I didn’t think to search, “How do I choke a woman in bed safely?” I wrote her off as a one-off with unusual desires, not realizing that she’s closer to the norm than young red quest could imagine. I didn’t realize that many women, if not the majority, like being spanked and sometimes hit other ways in bed. I didn’t put a butt plug in a woman until I was in my 30s. I didn’t realize how those practices, done carefully and in a controlled enough way, activate the primal, immediate parts of the brain and shut off the chattering, doubting voice in the mind. Now that information, these kinds of stories, are out there, but most guys choose not to access them, choose not to stare at the darkness, the Apollonian world of the media pretending the Dionysian desires aren’t there. Dionysus asserts himself Saturday night, while Monday morning the woman wants to pretend Apollo rules, regrets what happened Saturday night in some cases, but, in many others, she loves those feelings, loves the man who can elicit them, when most men can’t. If you are reading this, you are reading a work about how not to be most men.