I’m at heart a pragmatist: I look at what works with chicks, then do that. For a long time, my impression has been that most social media use is a feminine, low-status move… as Nash says, “Instagram is for girls.” As far as I can tell, minimal social media presence has been a net benefit to me, not a drawback, because chicks associate social media with their girlfriends and orbiter guys. Maybe some guys with stratospherically interesting lives have been able to leverage it, but if they have stratospherically interesting lives they probably don’t need it, either.
This comes up because of a Twitter conversation between Nash and Seven Daygame, as well . Nash mentions the “no social media post” I linked above. He also says,
You have to look at WHY she said [Instagram]:
— If she uses that as a “shit test,” my line will help
— If she was not that into you… nothing will help
IG is a “holding cell for orbiters.” I never want in there.
Sometimes I can show strength when I reject IG, and she’ll like.
Another comment from Smirking Soldier. That’s interesting, because in the last year or so, I have noticed more chicks trying to give me their Instagrams and more chicks talking about starting to date guys based on Instagram flirting (that post I linked is from two years ago… interesting… Guys badly want social media to work. Here’s why it (mostly) doesn’t is from this year).
A guy DM’ed me because I said that “It could be that this rule/principle is shifting.” My net read is that Instagram is still a slight negative. But I’m now seeing chicks on it everywhere… when I glance at a girl holding a smartphone, she seems to be on it. I’ve heard some chicks say they’re surprised when I say I think it’s a waste of time… not good surprised, which can have an element of confusion to it… negative surprised, like they’d reply to someone who says he thinks deodorant is a capitalist conspiracy. Chicks I’ve slept with have been very eager to sign me up to follow their Instagram… which is fine, as I know they increase their follower count (seems to be important to them), while I don’t interact beyond that.
So while I’m net negative on Instagram, I’m open to revision, and I have to be: if it turns out that Instagram is a form of social media that increases lays… then I guess I need to be working it harder. Guys are the sellers and girls are the buyers in the game… the only exceptions are guys who are so high-value that the market flips, like with famous guys. That’s probably less than 1% of guys and I’m not in that 1%. For the rest of us, it’s game, it’s learning how to read the market and respond to it. If you run a failing business and the market doesn’t appreciate what you’re selling, it doesn’t matter how badly you want to sell it or think the market should appreciate the product… the market has spoken.
It could be that guys working the “broadcast” model (they never interact with the chicks’s accounts and let chicks reply to them) of social media are doing all right… that appears to be Seven and Smirking Soldier above.
I’ve also thought about posting erotic but not nude or pornographic stills from video cips (no girls’s faces in them). Probably too explicit, but the thought has entered my mind before. A bit like the SnapChat in Game gambit. That might just screen chicks, though, leaving the ones who are horny or whatever. It will also piss off the women in the screen grabs, if they learn about this, which they might, even doing them as stories.
Game fundamentals are eternal, like masculinity, facing your fears, approaching the chicks, etc. But some aspects of the game change with the culture and technology. Could be that we’re witnessing that change now.
Being adaptable is good. I’m not a huge fan of being a digital sharecropper, which seems to be what a lot of online systems encourage. But I’ll do the things that increase the bang rate, and if that means Instagram, then damnit it’s time to do it. The other thing, though, is that most of my everyday life… is just not super interesting. I work, I think, I read, I go to the gym. Most of it doesn’t DHV. Except maybe to intellectual chicks, who are pretty rare.
So yeah. I’ll also note that I did a little experiment over the last week or so, which has shaken some of my confidence about the relatively good state of the world. Story later.
I’m thinking about patterns… and in the last year, it may have changed, and I may not have changed with it (yet). Chicks adding me to Facebook has been a demonstration of interest for a long time, even though I don’t use it much either.
The gap between demonstrating higher value, “DHV,” and demonstrating lower value, “DLV” can be narrow (more narrow than some guys think). In my experience, no or little social media seems to have been a “DHV” for the last ten or so years. But if that shifts among the hotter young chicks… then it can become a DLV thing where you’re a weirdo for not doing what “everyone else” does. Sometimes, not doing what everyone else does is good… not eating sugar, hitting the weights, interacting with real people in real life… those are things not everyone does that are good. But the deodorant example above is bad. Refusing to get a real job because you want to be true to your “authentic self” by living at home with your parents is typically bad. Etc. And these things can shift. Being a dirty grunge rocker in 1990-1995 seems to have been cool and possibly a path to getting laid. Not so much today.
Earlier today I met a friend for coffee… had two very good interactions with chicks who seemed into me but claimed boyfriends… but they were very pleasant, even in what is technically a rejection. The contrast w/ online is startling. My buddy is in the non-mono community… lower SMV than me, if I can be honest / possibly an asshole. There was an older-but-not-old woman there too, with her big fake tits hanging out, and I left to leave my friend time to get her number. He didn’t… lacks killer instinct… after she left I asked him about it and he said that being in the community makes him lazy. This is probably true, although lazy and cowardly can be pretty close together too, like DHV and DLV. I have my cowardly moments… but I have enough game and enough underlying value to get the multiplier effect going, by bringing new chicks into the non-mono community. Leveraging both game and the non-mono community has led me to great results, in my view, and that is why I have been writing about it, before I leave or dramatically scale back both.
5 thoughts on “Could Instagram be becoming an important adjunct to game?”
This might explain the shift towards IG.
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As an older guy who dates younger women, I find Instagram has a few minor uses:
1. For some “maybe” girls who ask for it, it’s a chance for the to get to know you a bit more / build more interest about you in between dates, or if you’ve got her number but can’t quite get her out on a date. This rarely comes up, but can be useful for younger girls who are attracted, but want a bit more comfort before meeting up for a date. This is also useful because some younger girls suspect you as an older man are secretly married (I’m not), and openly sharing your instagram can prove you are who you say you are.
2. posting stories / interesting pictures can serve as a mild form of dread game and/or a good form to build some mystery for girls in your rotation who follow you.
Both of these are very minor tools one can totally do without, but I’ve found it useful a few times a year.
What I don’t think Instagram works well for is a platform for meeting new women, unless you are at least semi-famous. There needs to be some interaction/investment between you and the girl first.
I’m with Nash – I wouldn’t take an instagram from a street close, it won’t lead anywhere.
Agree with Magnum. I think it’s worthwhile to have an account and have cool photos on there: you doing cool stuff, with hot chicks, being successful, etc. but only because it provides a bit of comfort as well as status–I personally have never had anything happen with an Insta close and I only bother if it’s a girl from out of town when there’s no chance for a lay anytime soon.
I would also say it’s not worth liking or commenting on stuff, because girls just file it all under this false validation they’re seeking on these platforms. I don’t think it’s worthwhile to spend much time gaming girls or meeting new girls and as usual Nash is right: you’re better off to say no to an Insta and push for the number. If it’s an Insta close, she just wants more followers but isn’t really interested.
In general, I think this is going to be a new split in humanity: A) people who aren’t addicted to their phone and social media and can function in the way people have always functioned, and B) people who can’t function above any sort of minimal effort because they are. Yes there will be hot chicks in category B, but they’re likely to have so much social anxiety and depression and be so unable to interact socially that having sex or a relationship with this kind of girl will be next to impossible and ultimately not worth the time. While this sounds a bit apocalyptic, the truth is that it will basically be a wash, perhaps even a win, for guys with game, because the numbers and level of guys competing with us will dwindle as much if not more than the number of chicks out there who can be gamed.
Also, yet another advantage in cold approach–if you meet a girl who’s out, you already know she’s a somewhat active person and she’s comfortable not living a life with her face constantly in her phone. Women on swipe dating are by definition women who aren’t meeting guys IRL, because either they never go out, are socially awkward, have social anxiety, and/or spend their entire life on their phone. These women are more likely to be flaky, more difficult to game, and more difficult to escalate on or get on a date.