After this girl got in my head, I’ve felt the overwhelming urge to over-contact her. I know intellectually that to give into that urge is a mistake (the same urge I felt with the girl in the last third of this post). Any time I start to think about her, and the crush brewing, I have to stop myself and ask the key question, “Will you sending her something right now raise your chances or lower them?”
I know the answer is “lower them.” If you, dear reader, know anything about game, you know that little kills attraction as fast as neediness. But in my excitement about her, I want to send her a text or Snapchat; yes, she’s so young she still uses Snapchat. I want her to be as excited about me as I am about her, but I’m pretty sure she’s not.
This is also a problem I have in particular with girls who let me go in bare. The connection is much, much stronger and deeper than if I wear a condom. With a condom it’s still good, don’t get me wrong, but it’s never as overpowering and amazing and connecting as it is without. Online, everyone claims to consistently use condoms. Offline, in the real world, it’s another story.
The more general lesson about game is that game teaches guys to do things that are “unnatural” or that they wouldn’t think to do on their own. It’s like boxing or yoga in that respect. In boxing, you must be trained to step back with your back foot, or a trained opponent will smite you. In yoga, most of us don’t think carefully about our alignment and range of motion unless we receive specific training in it. In game, it’s often best to cold approach strangers (not my strongest skillset to be honest). To not contact as much as you’d like to contact.
There are others, I’m sure, and if you’re a guy reading this and have good examples, leave them in the comments or write about them on your own blog. I’m sure I’m missing many examples.
Another (possible) example: inexperienced, stupid guys have a tendency to put a girl on a pedestal, which is exactly the wrong frame. The right frame is to understand that for pretty much every pretty girl out there, some guy is fucking her. My goal as a man is to be that guy.
The best thing I can say to the girl from Thursday, this weekend, is nothing. I got a strong positive Snapchat from her on Friday morning, reciprocated somewhat Friday evening, and got something back from her right after I sent it, but I know I need to chill the fuck out. The next time I can plausibly see her is Monday. It bugs to me to know there’s a very good chance she’s out partying and possibly fucking other guys this weekend, but I have no strong way to counter that and personal commitments as well.
I need to focus on my goals for this weekend, but the girl from Thursday keeps popping into my head. Because this seems hard to me, I write them out instead. It’s hard for me not to open Darktable on my MacBook and check out the pics I took, but I know that’s a mistake for my psychologically. Part of the game (part of being alive and effective, really) is managing your own psychology. Typically I’m pretty good at this, but this one has lodged in my head. It’s probably just her hotness that’s fogging me. I need to put her out of my mind and hope that writing this will let me do so.
6 thoughts on “The game challenge: doing what’s unnatural”
When in doubt, text nothing.
One of my Game maxims.
Also helps save you time, too.
I probably err on the side of texting nothing too often, though. I notice that I don’t tend to build as much comfort as other guys.
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Natural reaction to strange new younger, hotter, tighter pussy. The only cure working for me is banging one of my regulars silly or, ff that’s not an option, fapping until the feels go away.
>> The best thing I can say to the girl from Thursday, this weekend, is nothing.
Agree. You already did the “validation texts” on Friday. I think that part is smart. Helps frame the “meaning” of the sex as positive when there is some back/forth after. But now… yeah… “nothing.” Let it sit.
>> the girl from Thursday keeps popping into my head
I think this is about “post sex chemicals.” Yes, it plays out in “psychology,” but your chemicals are out of wack. It’s chemical. Two days later… you’ll settle down.
I have been very emotional (something like that) after each new lay lately. Sex chemicals. I’m trying not to take myself too seriously while those chemicals are in play… these was very true for me on Thu.
I notice the urge to drink when I feel this way… drinking can get us “back to nothing” (masculine = “nothing”) will kill that chemical feel. Not super healthy, but I “beer” those feelings down sometimes, and it helps.
>> but I know I need to chill the fuck out
Alternately… make this about “you” instead of “her.” And one concrete way to do that is… hit on other girls. I do this whenever I am needy. Post Miss Thick… I “gamed my way out” of those feelings. And it’s deadly effective, as other girls really are distracting in the moment… and… make you less “oneitis” in general, as you’re spinning multiple girls from the work.
Very real posts from you. Keep going.
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Whatever it is, she’s in there. Hard. In a few hours, I’ll be texting a meet up proposition for tomorrow.
Every time I think I’ve totally defeated the nerves, they come back.
For the right chick, they do.
With Bike Girl, I don’t think I felt any nerves, ever. That could say something about us.