Chicks find it hard to get someone attractive yet interesting

Was seeing an occasional lover last night, who’s lost her primary partner, and she said that it’s hard to find guys who are who they say they are (via online dating) and that she meets a lot of guys who are either way too forward or way too timid. Apparently I am “just right.”

She is also bisexual and has been interested in dating women, but she says that women are terrible at making plans and showing up. It took a lot of effort me to not say, “Now you know why women don’t make it up the corporate ladder.” I did commiserate and say that she knows how guys feel, which she agreed with. Dating girls sucks even for girls.

Satisfying sex, except for her strict condom rules. I drank a bit more than I should have at the bar. I originally met her at a party, something like 1.5 or 2 years ago, when my date was this chick. I like my occasional lover… she is in the community because she seemingly does not want a real relationship, but based on her comments last night I’m not sure that’s true anymore. She also has a key advantage in that she’s very reliable: if she says no, she means no, and if she says yes, she shows up where and when she promises. That’s a big reason why we’re still seeing each other. We’ve also had some good threesomes and small orgies together.

We may go to a party together tomorrow night, but I’m not as excited about parties as I used to be. Low-cut top girl also wants to get f**ked tomorrow, despite me telling her honestly why I couldn’t see her last weekend and her not liking the reason but being okay with it. I really wish Low-cut top girl were like half a point hotter than she is… she is ALMOST hot enough for me to be excited about, but not quite. If she were just a little more slender or just a little perkier in key areas, I’d be excited about her. I’m going to try and get her to go to the gym with me. Rarely works, but you never know, and in doing so I think I’m conveying to chicks something important about me and who I am.

Kind of tired this weekend. Not much personal game news to report. Ms. Slav still being flakey. Peaches stepped up. I have about as full a plate as I want… maybe more full. Sexual chemistry w/ Peaches and my occasional lover remains strong. Still like f**king Ms. Slav and yet I feel like there’s this thin but noticeable invisible barrier between us, one that if I haven’t breached it yet, I’m just not going to breach it. Tonight I’m looking forward to turning off the Internet and other noise machines to read some books.

Ms. Slav flakes, Peaches, masculinity and polarity

Ms. Slav flaked on me earlier this week, sending me an elaborate message that I did not like, and I haven’t heard from her since. Like all people I don’t like flaking, and I really don’t like it an hour before we’re supposed to meet, as that prevents me from making alternate plans. I assume she’ll swing back around at some point, but who knows?

Stephanie is drifting away, I think. I think I caught her early in her experience and she is refining what she wants. She may come to an event with me this weekend. Not counting on it.

Peaches told me some interesting things about her husband/marriage that are too specific to repeat, but they reinforce the basic ideas that 1) If you’re not f**king her, someone else will and 2) chicks love ambitious, accomplished dudes. Without getting into specifics, her husband seems to be moving from a sphere of great ambition and accomplishment to less ambition and accomplishment. For a woman, that is the equivalent of a chick getting fat. Guys don’t like it when their wives get fat, and chicks don’t like it when their guys lose their ambition.

In the manosphere, there are many supposed stories about evil, evil women ditching good, blameless guys. Some of the stories are true, I’m sure, but others are probably leaving out key details. Remember that we all have a narrative, and “Most people’s narratives leave some shit out. Whenever someone tells you some story, think about the dark matter of that story.” There are not many really evil people (or women) out there, and many of these one-sided stories are not as they seem.

Or, Peaches is just rationalizing her feelings. What she has said does make sense, though. I think she keeps getting involved with men who aren’t very masculine, setting herself for inevitable disappointment with grass-eating herbivores. Particularly when she runs into a guy like me. I’m not some macho Jocko Willink superman guy, but I have good masculine presence and polarity, which allows chicks to be feminine and submissive. This is particularly true in bed. Peaches said to me that she likes “Not having to decide what to do.” Something I have been told in the past, too.

Peaches is also a reminder that you should at least do a light check to see if married chicks or chicks in relationships are ready to cheat. Take enough shots, plausibly deniable shots depending on the circumstances, and you don’t know what you’ll find.

I have been meaning to get back in touch with Home Friend, the one who came via Ms. Slav, but I haven’t done so yet. I ought to.

I’ve been thinking about trying online dating again. I hold back because Peaches is holding up well. We went on a date with another woman, a unicorn, and f**ked her nicely. Can’t tell if the unicorn is going to stick around or not, but probably not, as I tried to get her out for a one-on-one unsuccessfully. I’m also not sure what I’m looking for, which isn’t good. Am I looking for more casual sex? Or am I looking to mostly exit that part of the game? I feel like I should clarify that question for myself. It is obviously possible to pursue casual sex while looking for something longer, but which side you prefer will shade your strategies and preferences.

In most areas, it also seems that online systems have a relatively small reservoir of good chicks in them. Big cities like NYC/LA may be the exception. Most cities smaller than that, it seems possible to exhaust the reservoir pretty quickly, and then need to wait a couple months for it to replenish. The best chicks log into online dating and find a guy pretty quickly.

I sometimes wonder if I know too much, now. With a lot of chicks, I feel like I spend weeks or months explaining how male-female relations actually work, why conventional marriage doesn’t work, what common relationship pitfalls are, how game theory works, etc. Books, talks, blah blah blah. Almost no chicks appear to know any of this. Most chicks seem to buy into the pop-culture idea of “love at first sight” (or pretty quickly) followed by happily ever after. No wonder we have the divorce rate we do. Pop culture reinforces pre-conceived notions about love at first sight, and then people try to do real-life relationships that way and go splat.

For Ms. Slav, not knowing any of this stuff is reasonable, because she is young and doesn’t know any better. For older women, not knowing any of this stuff is less acceptable but no less true. In the defense of women, it seems very few guys know this and tell women about it, either.

Peaches, Stephanie, Ms. Slav updates and thoughts

Not much to report. Have seen Stephanie (1) again and I think she is turning into a reliable once-a-week girl. Easy lay, good in bed. Says she has a cold or flu so she may be out for this weekend. Also has gone to the gym with me once and shows interest in black iron, compound lifts, and I like that. Very strong sexual chemistry. She’s a loud, involved lover. Extremely satisfying. She is very girl, very feminine, in ways I like and appreciate. We spent some time talking shit about social media.

Have seen Peaches (2) again. Also very satisfying sex. She seems not to understand how hot she is, and she told me some unusual background material about her and her teenage life on the Internet. She is a bit too much of a follower, and that has harmed her economic life. I can’t imagine she is going to stay married, but I think she only wants upheaval in one part of her life right now. I told her about Ms. Slav and Stephanie. We may go to a party together in the next few weeks.

Peaches also says she wants to have a family. This perked my ears. I’ve been thinking about that comment since she dropped it. That would be an intersting line to pursue. Very unlikely that I will pursue it, given the myriad of problems with this line, but we seem to be more aligned in many ways than most girls. She is also in the right age range for me. Younger is great for fun, but girls under the age of 27 or 28 will not work with me for any kind of longer relationship, more substantial relationship.

Peaches entered the non-monogamous world relatively recently and may be getting her total f**k fest phase out of her system. If/when she does… it is not inconceivable to imagine going further with her, based on what I know now. “Not inconceivable” is a low bar.

Speaking of, Roy Walker said something intersting

Towards the end of the year the apathy was starting to set it. It had been a long one and I went through a lot of girls. As was probably apparent in my posts, I was getting fed up. I would frequently think about two things;

What is the point of all this?
What is my endgame?

The point is obviously to meet and have sex with new girls as we are apparently biologically programmed to do as males. I really enjoy meeting new girls on the street and dating them, the chase, it’s great fun. But then you bang them and then what?

In my earlier days I would bask in the glory of a new notch for almost a week. Now that glorious feeling lasts around 5 minutes. I wrote a drunken tweet [4] about feeling empty inside after a recent notch.

Sound familiar? Sure does to me. “Player disease” you might call it. He says he is in his early 30s, so a bit young for those feelings, but they are not unheard of among guys who’ve been in the game a couple years. Some of us, we’re a bit like Tolkien’s Elves, still living in Middle-earth but thinking about going West.

Before I become too insufferably melancholy, Ms. Slav (3) is back and heard about Stephanie and me, and she was or is unhappy about that. Not unhappy enough not to f**k me, fortunately. She still seems not to get reciprocity? I talked to Peaches about this dilemma / behavior. The talk with Ms. Slav led to another long talk about principles, but I am not sure Ms. Slav completely absorbed it. She may also be intuiting or feeling my own uncertainty about her. I like her… but our age disparity is too great… and she is too sexually active even for me. If had run into her ten years ago, even five, I might have gone for it. Not today.

No great stories about heroic pickup, just a continuation of previous threads.

It is so interesting talking to people—really talking to them—and they are so different in private than they are on social media. The more I talk to people, deeply, the more I think social media is garbage. The gap between the internal self and the external self is too wide for it to be interesting. All three of the women listed in the title, their true lives are very different from their social media lives. All three of them are much more minimally involved with social media than typical 18 – 30 year old women, but even then the gap is large. Stephanie has a job that involves some social media use. I seem to get along better with girls who are not social-media addicts.

Another random thought, I have read a bunch of game or RP guys saying that cooking and eating good food is for chicks and they just open up some cans and eat over the sink. Maybe I am just hungrier, but I make food most days and am diligent about what I eat. I suppose it’s possible to maintain reasonable nutrition with tuna, olives, nuts, etc., but I like variety too much to do that.

If you did not read read this post, please go read it.

Peaches for days [LR]

Met Peaches yesterday afternoon (story and background on her at the link, and read the comments there), one on one for tea, where I showed her my clean STI test results (she knew immediately why), and then back to my place. Very long, very intense foreplay session, complete with a paddle, blindfold, nipple clamps, and an eventual butt plug, as she’d mentioned an interest in double penetration but had never used a butt plug during sex. Now she has.

And it was great. The kind of sex everyone craves and we sometimes don’t get. It’s smart to wrap it up. But it’s so much better bare. We hit a lot of positions, with me directing the show the whole time and her loving it.

I think most guys would rate Ms. Slav as being hotter. She is at the very least 10 years younger. Yet with Peaches, it was just intense. Extremely intense. We may just have a subconscious, sub-linguistic compatibility that Ms. Slav, for all her virtues, does not have with me.

After, I was exhausted and took a brief nap with her in my arms. Then Peaches opened up more about her husband and what a good man he is. This wasn’t fun to hear about, but I’ve had so many of those, “Oh, this is the side of women that women don’t emphasize” talks that they don’t elicit an emotional response from me anymore. They are just part of the game. The gap between the private narrative and public one is so wide. I think that’s why I like game blogs and have for a long time. I resisted starting one because I wasn’t sure I had enough material and because I knew that, if I started writing it, it would consume too much of my life. I was right on that second point.

With Peaches, I still can’t figure out why she married her husband. She might not be able to figure it out, either. Or it might be that chicks are random, a theme I discuss often. In this post, among many others. But I wasn’t highly analytical yesterday after sex. I also don’t care very much about what led Peaches into her baffling marriage. I am 85% certain she is going to divorce, sooner or later.

That is what people call afternoon delight.

So delightful that I was still tired when I woke up this morning. I feel like I’ve not been on my best game at work. Sometimes after f**king, my mind is so crystal clear that I get everything done and throw off a ton of new ideas. Sometimes I’m still in that half-dream state and need to pull myself into the now. But I want to write this log entry before the feeling fades. This one is so memorable. It’s strange, what is memorable and what fades into the background.

When Peaches left she looked at me and said, “I needed that.” Probably my second-favorite thing to hear from a woman, right after, “Come inside me.”