Ms. Slav at Thanksgiving went well, as she enjoyed herself and none of the older women were overtly mean to her. Most entertaining to me were a pair of average teenage boys, one 16 and one 14, both of whom were entranced by Ms. Slav. Despite the small gap in age, there was a giant, overwhelming difference in vibe. Ms. Slav feels like an adult (definitely looks like an adult), and she feels older than her age, while the boys are about their age.
Their mom said to me, “I think [the older one] is in love with your date.” We both laughed. She’s a pretty cool woman. Older, heavier, married, not my type, but one of those women who knows how it is and is okay with it. I like her husband too, and he’s the kind of guy who might buy it once in a while, knowing she doesn’t inquire too closely about what he’s up to.
Ms. Slav wore more clothing than she typically does. I think I’m seen by my friends as enough of a wild man outlier that they’re not surprised by the “inappropriate” women I bring to events. I did get some comments about the age gap between Ms. Slav and my kid, which is something I’ve considered… then thrust out of my mind, into the void. I don’t want to consciously think about it. I do think about Camille Paglia’s statement, “What I see spreading among professional middle-class women is a bitter resentment toward men that is in many cases unjust and misplaced. With divorce so easy since the sexual revolution, women find themselves competing with younger women in new and cruel ways.” Feminists wanted to destroy marriage and enable divorce, and they have largely succeeded… who am I to fight against them?
For reasons I allude to at the bottom of this story, I think I’m going to cut back on Ms. Slav. She is amazing in many ways, but she’s actually too wild and too feral for me. I’ve only run into one other girl like that, and the other girl wasn’t quite the same, as she’d go to the party, f**k a bunch of people, guys and girls, pretty indiscriminately, then feel bad about it the next day. She was highly conflicted by what her body wanted when she was horny and what her mind wanted when she wasn’t. Ms. Slav doesn’t experience that common conflict (another of the many things that make her uncommon).
I’m pretty discriminating and I like it when the girl goes along with me. Ms. Slav, when she gets in the zone, she will f**k for hours, pretty much whoever wanders by, but that’s not appealing to me, because I want a more controlled, directed experience… which I usually get because I’m typically more forward than the girl. Ms. Slav is more forward than me, and, because she’s hot, every guy will take his shot at her. She’ll accept invitations that she shouldn’t, and she doesn’t quite get the value exchange mode of sex clubs and open relationships,
In my view the basic dynamic of sex parties is guys exchanging hot females with a minimal amount of logistical bother. That’s it. People overcomplicate and overthink this. You have a hot girl. I have a hot girl. Let’s trade. The girl obviously has to like the other guy well enough (or want to fuck the girl).
This is the fundamental dynamic. It’s an exchange of value for value. I get more novelty than I’d have otherwise. You get more novelty than you’d have otherwise. Win-win. Fail to bring the value and you will likely fail at the sex club. Guys who have a bad time of game in general will also have a bad time if they manage to convince their one and only partner to come to a sex club with them.
Ms. Slav offers a lot of value, often without demanding it in return. This attracts a swarm, no, a swarming horde, of horny excited dudes. They sense free value and want to jump right on it, like anyone would pick up a $20 bill on the sidewalk. Normal girls instinctively protect their value, to the point of missing many amazing experiences or running hot then cold. Ms. Slav doesn’t protect her value, to the point of being surprised when other dudes try to corral her, or expect her to f**k them automatically.
That happened last night, when she accepted a ticket to an event from a guy who thought Ms. Slav was his date. Then Ms. Slav asked me to come, and I went with her, while the guy was trying unsuccessfully to mate-guard her. I f**ked Ms. Slav, she went down on another girl, we left the main play area and then the other guy was trying to separate us. Lots of pointless, stupid drama followed, all of which stemmed from Ms. Slav accepting the “gift.” It’s not a gift. For most normal girls, this is obvious. But I think that Ms. Slav thinks, or thought, that the typical problems of jealousy, possessiveness, etc. don’t happen in the non-monogamy world. She is wrong about that, however, and I don’t think I tried to explain this to her. In part because I misjudged her and didn’t realize just how sexually free and voracious she is. At the same time, she misjudges just how ravenous guys are towards hot young chicks. There is always a shortage of hot young chicks. There is always a shortage of guys with good game. The guy who bought Ms. Slav a ticket is pretty attractive. He shouldn’t have the problems he apparently does, but I think he over-relies on the Internet. He may also have the good-looking person problem of being unaccustomed to rejection.
So yeah. I’m not sure I have the energy to manage Ms. Slav. Ms. Slav is a lot like Libido Girl, but even Libido Girl was more sensitive to the wants and needs of normal people than Ms. Slav is. That may partly be a function of Ms. Slav’s youth. Libido Girl was about ten years older than Ms. Slav, and she had a lot more life experience.
I feel like I’m trying to figure out what the next ten years of my life should look like: most of the last ten years have been spent building my career, seducing women, and doing crazy group sex. The other day, Peaches asked me about my sexual fantasies. The truth is that I have none left, none undone. What I am doing now has its virtues. But I’m thinking about value, both the value I provide and the value I seek. I sense gaps in both. The more I pay attention to this world, the more I think about the movement between value as an abstract concept and a concrete reality.
I’m also trying to write about some of my own inner conflicts. A lot of guys doing cold approach pickup don’t have many inner conflicts: they want to get laid and it’s a victory when they do. That is a fantastic situation. I’m more conflicted right now, and I’m trying to express those conflicts.