Not the only guy who’s figured it out

Mr Non-Monogamous, Part 1 – The Unexpected Date” is from an older woman’s dating journal, and it’s about a guy who’s figured out pretty much what I’ve figured out… Lucy is older, verging on being a spinster, so she is very unapproving of men with lots of options, but read through the bile and you’ll see that the fellow, Charlie, has figured out that non-monogamy can work,

What the actual fuck is it with all these guys wanting to be in ‘Open Relationships’? Pretending to be all enlightened, all shary and sex-positive and forward-thinking, when really it’s just them wanting to stick their dicks into as many women as possible. It’s total, shameless, greedy fuckboyery, is what it is. At least in the past men had the decency to try to hide it if they wanted to bone a string of different women. Today it seems being a cheating arsehole is now a ‘lifestyle choice’.

No need to pretend enlightenment, but if you want “to stick your dick into as many women as possible” and “bone a string of different women” non-monogamy can be a functional frame in order to achieve those ends.

Charlie is “completely open about his relationship status, and he’s clearly very interested in her. Which, even coming from a total man-whore, is super flattering,” so he has that advantage… although merely being into a younger and hotter woman will often not be that flattering to her because everyone is into her. He has decent moves and is not a p***y, as so many men are today (so chicks tell me…), “he kisses her again, harder, grabbing her hair firmly at the back of her head and leaning fully into the kiss. Assertive, dominating, determined. This is a man who knows what he wants and is used to getting it. It’s insanely sexy.”

She seems to take too long to lay, IMO, but, whatever, the most notable piece of the story is the guy, who has figured out what I have figured out and what you, if you have been reading here long enough, have also figured out. It’s still surprising to me that, apart from Blackdragon and now a few others, like Yoylo, more guys haven’t incorporated this frame and these ideas into their game. I have heard it said that more chicks are putting “no poly” or “no swingers” on their online dating profiles (always ignore the profile claims about her not being a slut or whatever), so these practices must be spreading.

Author: The Red Quest

How can we live and be in society?

7 thoughts on “Not the only guy who’s figured it out”

  1. Where I live, this stuff is spreading VERY rapidly despite most dudes adopting it being completely inept at it. It’s even being adopted as clever branding by dudes who have no real interest in it but see the upside in the framing.

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    1. >> It’s even being adopted as clever branding by dudes who have no real interest in it but see the upside in the framing.

      I dunno, a guy who frames himself as non-mono may get surprised when the girl he wants treats him like he’s non-mono. Or fades away, looking for the guy who will invest her. Depends a lot on where the girl is in her life.

      I’m not really “poly,” although I can adopt that framing… but it is really hot to fuck in a room full of people… I’m probably closer to being interested in swinging. But, even among girls who will go for that, most eventually want a more serious relationship than I’ve been willing to fully yield to, historically.

      For a guy who wants to fuck around a lot, the non-mono framing is pretty powerful… provided the guy can pull it off… I figured it out 5-6 years before I think it started popping up a lot more in the culture. Maybe I should have begun writing the adventures back then, but it has been a bit of a too consuming interest for me…

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      1. The vast majority of self described poly women I see on dating apps, aren’t any women I would give any attention to. Occasionally there’s a couples pictures up, and it’s completely obvious the dude isn’t pulling women. I don’t, and won’t ever consider myself to be poly.

        I’ve met a few “married but open” women on there, and that’s about the only time I’m talking about being non mono before meeting them.

        Pulling it off I think is just a matter of trying it. Yeah some women won’t be down with it. I’ve had surprisingly few women drop off once we’ve had the blackdragon version of “the talk”. I think it’s really all about the execution and management of it. My OLTR has a friend that was seeing a guy that was supposedly non mono, but he kept doing all kind of “boyfriend behavior” type stuff. That’s where it gets pretty screwed up I think.

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      2. Very few ppl want to be identified publicly as “poly” https://theredquest.wordpress.com/2019/01/03/what-kind-of-guy-is-willing-to-appear-in-these-articles/

        For most guys… being “open” “poly” “whatever,” is a way to retain one or two girls, while still being able to go out and chase more girls. For girls… those terms are ways to tell herself that she’s making progress with the guy she likes, when he is in actuality chasing other girls.

        Some girls also want to fuck around, like guys do, or they can genuinely partition their love and affection between two guys. Often the two guys are quite different. One might be the cerebral intellectual guy who touches her mind and spirit, who makes her think and has verbal wit. The other guy might be the bro, who takes her hiking and kayaking but is kind of dumb. Those are stereotypes but I’ve genuinely heard people say, “Get your boyfriend (or girlfriend) to do the thing with you that I don’t like doing anyway.”

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  2. I wouldn’t openly talk about it before the first lay. Why shoot yourself in the foot? Get the lay and then, depending on circumstances, proceed with an induction process as fast or as slow as is appropriate for a particular chick. And for some it maybe never.

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  3. If there really is a rise in “no poly” or “no swingers” comments on profiles, it can only be because men are bringing the subject up too early, whether on the first date or even in messages.

    I like the idea of not mentioning group sex until you have a chick converted, so to speak, but what if on the date a discussion of sexual behavior, preferences, etc comes up? I think honestly is a good policy so I wouldn’t want to paint myself as someone vanilla or “slightly experimental” and then start bringing up sex clubs after a few good sessions.

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    1. Yours is the smart, high-percentage strategy.

      There are two main reasons to bring it up earlier:

      1. The girl seems like she’d be very receptive. She’s an adventurous slut. Ms. Slav was like this. If she is, then it can differentiate you, and accelerate the process. She’ll be actively excited by sexual adventure, as opposed to the usual boring dates with typical guys who want to make her a wifey (she doesn’t want to be one).

      2. You have too many girls going anyway and need to filter the right girls. Few guys online seem to have this problem so I don’t think it’s stated as much as it could/should be. If you’re already f**king two or more girls regularly, your time is finite. Fast pulls, sex club talk… you’re seeing if she’s down or not cause you don’t have time.

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