This one is controversial but the topic is so important I can’t ignore it. You’ll quickly understand its relationship to “Most guys are pussies. Be different. Or, “Today’s men are not nearly as strong as their dads were, researchers say.” The original title was even, “A lot of guys are losers and it’s easy to be better than many (and maybe most) of them.”
So: for a while I was fucking this too-young-for-a-relationship girl who’s recently out of college, and she told me a little about her college experience and the guys she’d seen. You’ve probably seen the “college experience” depicted in movies and TV, but for most people and especially guys college is not like that. Most of the guys at her school were not the masterful party guys of legend. In her rendition most are losers. Most interestingly, she described fucking a guy who would apparently rather play video games than fuck her. She eventually broke up with him because she got irritated by the way he’d spend all night playing video games with guys, rather than actually fucking her. He didn’t get another girlfriend after her.
It appears that a reasonably large number of guys would rather play video games than have sex. If you look at most guys, and I mean literally look at them, this may not be that big a surprise. The average American guy is 5′ 8″ and weighs 195 pounds. He’s a video-game-playing lardass.
There are a large number of frustrated, attractive women who correctly complain that there aren’t “good” guys available. I used to think those women were full of shit… now I’m not so sure. I’ve heard too many stories like this girl’s to think that they’re all delusional or princesses. I hear too many stories about fatass guys and video games and a total lack of ambition to think all of the complaints are exaggerated. I’m also not that great a guy (I think) yet I seem to have few problems getting with women, including ones who should be too young and hot to be interested in me. A lot of them say the same basic thing: I’m not a giant pussy like other guys, I’m not a fatass, I have a career, and they can “just tell” I like sex and am good at it.
If you’re a guy and you want to be a man, the road is sometimes hard but always worth it. It’s especially worth it because most guys seem to abrogate being a man in favor of video games or other fundamentally masturbatory pursuits. Listening to this very pretty girl talk about guys who preferred video games to fucking her seemed crazy to me. Yet it’s apparently common. You can probably do better than those guys if you try. There are reasons why guys who apply themselves often find great success fast. Not all do. Some guys are profoundly fucked up and it will take them a long time to restructure themselves. But many aren’t. They just need a kick in the ass.
Now, you can argue that this girl was trying to boost my ego by talking shit about her exes. Maybe she was. But if so, she wasted her time cause I don’t give a fuck. Her story jives with the data on men. Men are now unemployed at greater rates than women. Men on average do worse in school. The video game obsessives are almost all men. It’s not hard to be better than those guys. If you lift, practice reasonable social skills, don’t eat sugar, and pay attention to how you dress, you’re doing to do better than at least a substantial percentage of guys and maybe most guys. Mastering the basics is easy. Most guys don’t. In any field always start with the basics.
Like I said, a lot of horny and unsatisfied girls are out there. As you master the game you will discover more and more who they are and why they’re justifiably unsatisfied.
To be sure it is possible to play some video games and be all right with women and the rest of your life. But I get the impression that a lot of guys are playing video games like it’s their job. That’s a mistake. Skills and habits compound over time. But no one cares about your video game feats. Use video games to waste time and during your dead time if you want, but be very careful that they don’t consume your real life and real being. You only live once.
Overall, videogames, like smartphones and sometimes the Internet more generally, impede your ability to do Deep Work and for that reason they should be avoided.