Pickup is hard, and top girls don’t stay that way for long, and musings on networks

Red Pill Dad realizes that “almost everyone is doing online dating (OLD) and banging low quality chicks and then bragging about it… no one really wants to learn day game or cold approach.” [1] Well yes, and think of it this way, literally how many girls are true 7s in the entire world? The true 7s are almost always somewhere between their mid teens and mid 30s, call it 18 – 30, for legal purposes. A few 7s can persist into their early 40s, although that’s rare. A lot of girls drop from their true 7 potential into 5 or 6 territory due to poor nutrition and fitness. The number of true 8s, in the entire world, is not that high, probably a few percent of the female population, and every guy from puberty to senescence wants to bang them. They have a level of “privilege” that the male classes, who are busy working building and struggling, carrying the burden of civilization, can barely imagine, because we’re too busy toiling to try and keep a roof over the head and maybe impress the few hot chicks we’re ever exposed to (“f**king hot chicks” is a fine reason to stay in school, one not adequately emphasized).

The total number of hot girls in the world is not that high, which is why most guys talking online are talking about girls who aren’t that hot. I’ve mentioned before that some of the best girls I’ve been with say they’ve never used OLD… and I believe them.

In the last year, as well, COVID has messed up the world: trying to run game during COVID is like trying to run it during chemotherapy. You can try but it’s not going to be nearly as effective. COVID is still kicking hard and for that reason pickup is hard. Normal girls still don’t want to get COVID and we still don’t know what long-term effects it might generate, even in people with mild cases. As noted back in May, “smart chicks have picked up their quarantine boyfriend for sexual needs. The impulse to test the sexual marketplace is very low right now. It’s all about the cost-benefit.”

COVID aside, it’s also simply very hard to genuinely get girls a point or especially two points above where you are. Like, if I were fat, or skinny fat, or something, I’d probably have had nothing like the experiences I’ve had. Also, for most guys, somewhere around age 40, the ability to get hot girls 18 – 26 plummets. Not all guys obviously, but for most of them. There is a male wall, although it’s farther out than most people realize, and for some guys it’s out in the 50 range. Fitness and nutrition become less forgiving the older you get. As a lad, ice cream and cookie cheats didn’t show up in any meaningful way for me. Today they do.

Persevering if you’re a male 5/6, like most men, trying to get female 7s and higher… it’s really, really hard. Online dating will either not work or work minimally. Throw in COVID, acting like a huge brake on sexuality, and it’s even harder. Day and night game barely work during COVID. Maybe it’s worth taking a break and returning when 50% or more of the population is vaccinated and things are turning into the post-COVID orgy that I’d expect. My impression is that some guys have done or are doing that.

I’m not wildly black pill, but the number of guys I’ve met who have gotten into the 85th percentile of their possible looks (nutrition, lifting), and who have gotten into the 85th percentile of their possible style (fashion), is really small. Even for the average guy, 5’10, whatever, there’s usually a lot of room for improvement that will dramatically affect his game and his outcomes w/ chicks. It’s true that 1. your looks strongly affect your game and outcomes, but also 2. most guys are nowhere near getting to the top of their “looks potential” and also 3. that with sufficient game and effort, looks can be partially, maybe majorly, overcome. A lot of the online discussion is just guys talking past each other, each with one of those propositions in the foreground, but none of them wrong and each compatible with each other. The Good Looking Loser guy, Chris, most emphasized point 1.

I’ve had some success with regular online dating many years ago, and no success from regular online dating recently, and by recently I mean in the last six or so years. Sometime around 2015 I had enough things going on in real life that I had by then mostly quit. I discovered what lots of guys have discovered, even partially, namely, that real life gets superior results. But I’m also less antisocial than many guys speaking up online, it seems.

I observe that the guys I know, in real life, who verifiably seem to be doing well do a combination of online and real life… they’ll match with a chick online and then run into her at a bar or party. They’ll run into a girl at a bar or party, then match with her online, that sort of thing. But most guys are antisocial and most sex is a social act for most chicks, so things don’t work for them. Most guys live in dreary suburbia where it’s hard to meet hot chicks, and that holds them back.

To an extent, a guy’s sex life is an extension of his network. This can of course be overcome and the hardest core daygame pickup guys do overcome it. I’ve done a bit of everything in my life and that’s worked out pretty well, but normal online dating doesn’t seem to work any more, even during COVID, and guys who are doing it exclusively are likely getting results consistent with that. And, I dunno, merely all right girls, the 6s of the world, are good enough for a lot of guys. Numerically, they have to be. It also depends on where the guy is. A male 6 getting female 6s… that’s pretty good, IMO.

Some guys want to learn game + cold approach, but until COVID is whipped by vaccines, I don’t think that’s going to work all that well either, mostly, although it’s still probably better than online exclusively. When you chat up a girl in the real world, you are an n of 1. When you try online, you are an n of 99, or 1000.

Talk to girls. I do. They will tell you what they think about online dating and how they do it. Obviously what a girl says, what anyone says, is often highly selective and/or inaccurate… but many girls today, maybe most, don’t take online seriously at all. If a guy’s primary resource is girls online, then he’s probably not getting feedback from the top tier of girls who don’t do online.

I’ve tended to do some of everything in my life/game, and that is why I have emphasized “the network.” Almost all guys who I’ve known in real life who get laid a lot with hot girls have had some kind of network effect. If you’re doing exclusively or primarily OLD… that network effect is unlikely to get going, and you’re likely to have a hard time of what you’re doing. If you’re not doing fitness and nutrition well, you’re also probably going to have a hard time. Look at the hot girls you know, and then look at the guys they f**k, and what do you notice about them? If you don’t know any hot girls, then that’s part of the problem.

Pickup is hard but it’s 100% doable.

Few join the secret society.

Few develop their powers and abilities.

Given the choice between despair and deadlift, choose deadlift. We are agents of our destiny, if we choose to be.

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[1] Red Pill Dad also likes to say, “If this doesn’t apply to you, then it doesn’t apply to you.” I don’t know whether it applies to you, only you do.