Chicks want you to make the first move, so do it

The Graphic Designer Who Hates Making the First Move is a universal story of a woman who can’t or won’t make the first move: she finds a guy she likes, “I think he’s cute and wish he’d just make the move and ask me out. I don’t get it.” Why doesn’t she make the first move? She doesn’t say. About another guy, she says, “I could ask him out myself, but I really want someone to take the lead and I want to be pursued.” Despite what you’ve heard from feminist teachers in schools, despite the bullshit you may have imbibed from the media, women are passive and won’t make the first move. I’ve written before about this phenomenon. Women are passive, men are active (if you are a woman and are angry about this sentence, you don’t need to be angry at me… just act differently, and convince other women to as well: actions > words). As a man, it’s your job to make it happen, and it will almost certainly remain your job as long as men and women exist. Eggs are expensive and sperm is cheap, so, if you’re a man reading this, you’re going to need to be the actor, not the acted upon.

Sure, you may have heard women say “Ew, I can’t believe that guy hit on me.” Guess what? She’s making a female social power play, by saying that she’s so desirable and popular that she routinely rejects guys. That’s her game. Or, she considers the guy to be below her level (this always happens). The other day, I was walking along a strip of bars near me, and there was this woman, cute, wearing an outfit that was like 55% business / 45% T&A, skirt that was almost too short, tits almost hanging out too much, and I opened her with, I don’t know, something about business, something about the time of day, and she said something like, “Ew, no.” Or maybe just “No,” I don’t remember exactly, but it was an uncommonly cold rejection, particularly for a woman dolled up like she was.

And it doesn’t matter, the rejection, I mean.

Most women will be more polite than this one, but the rejection doesn’t matter. I’ve received hundreds like it over my life. That kind of rejection is part of the game, just like the Graphic Designer woman not being able to make the first move is part of the game. Chicks don’t make moves, they select from guys who make moves on them. Feminism hasn’t changed that. Chicks getting jobs hasn’t changed that. Claire Lehmann, an uncommonly self-aware and active chick, tweets out, “When is there going to be a story complaining about men not pursuing women in romantic situations? My lived experience is that men making women do all the work is really annoying.” The many stories of me getting laid sprinkled throughout red quest happened because I tried, and risked rejection. That men don’t understand this properly today is pathetic, but I blame it on low masculinity in society more generally, and a failure of older guys to teach younger guys how to be guys.

Are you going to be a guy who f**ks, which means you endure some rejection, or are you going to be a guy who jerks off, which means you don’t pursue women because you’re scared some woman will be mean to you?

The Graphic Designer story has one other game-relevant moment, “sometimes I swipe and match just to feel something. I could easily make a move and ask one of them out, but something is holding me back.” A very large number of chicks are on swipe apps for attention. Prefer meeting chicks in real life. As more people become social ret**ds who can’t interact with other people in real life, the value of that skill increases.

Other stories in line with this one,

Yes, sometimes chicks will be mean… but you don’t know who she is until you try. There’s an extreme deficit of “trying” in our society, and an extreme excess of people saying why something won’t work or whatever. The doers still reap the rewards. More often, chicks will appreciate the male attention, if it’s calibrated and if the guy can accept “no,” which will be the most common response, even among chicks who like the attention.

“If it’s calibrated” is key. If it’s not, you’ll eventually have problems with managers, police, and so on… justifiably, too. If you have those kinds of problems, it’s time to seek out a therapist or psychiatrist who specializes in developing social skills for men. They exist. Their services are needed, but the guys who most need them are often the guys who least realize how much their services are needed.

I promised myself I’d stop linking to these often-vapid NYMag sex diary stories, but they’re such perfect examples of the schizophrenic state of female discourse that I feel compelled to link them. Until someone finally put into words the basic idea that “chicks are random,” I couldn’t properly distill a fundamental, important part of the game. But I keep linking these NYMag sex diaries cause they point to another fundamental issue, that chicks still like being feminine and want guys to be masculine. They agree with a lot of red pill and pickup advice. A veneer of “I’m a feminist!” can’t overcome millions of years of choosy females and randy, pushy males.