Threesome management. How to do and arrange FFM and MFM

Some people think threesomes “just happen” and while some threesomes can, guys who do non-monogamy look for the principles and patterns underlying threesomes (besides drugs and circumstance… not my favorite routes). The biggest principles are reciprocity and bringing value. In an MFM threesome, the value can come from just being able to set up and execute the scene… lots of women have MFM fantasies but find them very hard to bring to fruition, since most guys are very touchy about this topic and afraid of losing their one and only girl. In many couples, there will be an agreement to do an FMF, then do an MFM, but one person will be eager to do the threesome that is in their favor then don’t want to reciprocate, leading to the usual hurt feelings, drama, cries of double standards and hypocrisy, etc. Girls are very used to guys eager for FMF but who won’t seriously entertain MFM.

Where there is a shortage there is an opportunity, and smart guys ruthlessly exploit sexual marketplace arbitrage opportunties. A shortage of guys who will fulfill a woman’s fantasy means higher value for a guy who can. If you want some evidence of the depraved sex in the female imagination, the Nancy Friday book MY SECRET GARDEN is a good start….. so are her other books…. or just read any of the websites devoted to chicks anonymously describing what they fantasize about. You may run into chicks with unfulfilled MFM threesome fantasies and, if you do, it is a decent idea to have a buddy who is good at threesomes…. I figured that out a while ago and my friend “John” has played that role for me, and me for him. We don’t keep score any more (no point), although I think we are both transitioning out of this space and into other roles. Some guys will say, “Cool, I get laid” to a proposed threesome but won’t want to go through with it with it for fear of appearing gay, etc. Some will also be happy to f**k a chick when you do all the work and then not reciprocate by bringing a girl back to you.

When you can find a guy in decent shape, who is not afraid of being perceived as “gay,” who is okay in bed, and who will reciprocate… that is powerful. You can get into situations where a girl will confess her MFM threesome fantasy and then you can say, “If you are serious about making it happen then we can make it happen.”

I’m sure some guys will say “MFM is gay” or “real men never do it.” Fine, they can stop reading. To make it happen, I have most often either been with a girl, and sought a third, or John has been with a girl and sought a third, or more rarely from a MF couple in the sex club scene seeking a guy who knows what he’s doing and who isn’t going to get attached.

The way it happens has a pretty firm pattern. We meet in a bar, and either I set the expectation or the other guy does. If the girl is mine I tell her that she can back out any time for any reason. I talked about how chicks need an open, low-pressure environment to really enjoy the f**king and this is similar. Girls also have narrower criteria for men, most often, than men do for women. For most guys, if a girl meets his minimum attraction threshold he’s happy to have a go. Usually we do a drink or two and then go back to my place, the other guy’s place, or a hotel. If I am leading I propose that we have a drink at mine, or that I should “get a place for us.” Everyone knows what that means. I give everyone a chance to say no. Sometimes I will strategically go to the bathroom for a few minutes or run out to “take a quick call” to give the couple a chance to talk, if I have not brought the girl. Girls really don’t like being pressured into things and I want to build in these moments to let her decide what she wants to do without having a guy staring her down panting for sex.

It’s also possible to do a genuine hour-long meetup, then have the threesome at a later time after the chick has had time to process who I am. Not being in a rush lets women feel comfortable. If it’s a go, I like to have restraints, a paddle/flogger, a blindfold, and a couple other relevant toys for the situation. Like nipple clamps or clothespins. Those depend a lot on the girl’s sensitivity and should only be used when checking with her.

When we all get to a private space, to begin the process, I will let the girl get accustomed to the new space and environment for a few minutes, as with a typical bounceback. I’ll put on music and adjust lights as needed. Often there is a weird energy in the room, and the conversation will move to very non-sexual prattle that kind of denies why we are all here. People feel weird about being the “one to start,” unless they have done this before and integrated it into their personality. After five or ten minutes I will often start, preferably not by blurting out, “So who wants a threesome right now?”, but I can do that if the circumstance calls for it.

Most often, if the girl is sitting, I’ll tell her to stand up. The other guy and I will kiss different parts of her neck. The best way to make it happen is usually one guy standing in front of her and the other guy behind her. Girls report that four hands and two sets of lips on their bodies is amazing. It yields sensations not possible with only one other person. I try to make sure everyone is included to the extent possible, though there will naturally be some moments when one guy participates more than the other (or the other way around with two girls). Gradually the girl’s clothes come off, and I will undress myself or let the girl undress me, depending on what’s happening. Sometimes I will spank her and bend her over and paddle her for a while; depends on the energy. Foreplay is more straightforward than you might think, but my job is a bit different. Sometimes one of us will rub her clit while the other puts fingers inside her to find her g spot. I try to go in with an idea of how things might happen but without robotically sticking to a single script.

When it’s time I often bend a girl over the corner of a bed and take her from behind and have her fellate the other guy, because I prefer the girl’s pussy in most circumstances. Sometimes I won’t get hard immediately because the atmosphere can be super stimulating. Not worrying about that is key to overcoming it. Some girls like to have two c**ks to suck, one in each hand, swiveling from one to the other.

Then it’s kind of a free-for-all. Varies by girl and circumstance. After the first nuts have been had by all, sometimes I will get out massage oil and do that.

Finding a guy who is down for MFM, is good at it, and can bring in girls of his own… it’s harder than you think. A lot of guys like the idea in theory but aren’t down for it when it happens. Chicks are the same way…. there is a gap between what they feel when they masturbate or fantasize and the execution of the fantasy. Some chicks who fantasize will shy away from the true thing. The number of guys who have bad hygiene, diet habits, mental health, ability to relate to women, etc., is high and makes me sympathize a little bit with chicks. Women want to be seduced by cool hot guys and regularly find that it is harder to get it than they think.

For FFM, the overall process is kind of similar. Most often I am with one girl more than the other, and the girl and I act as a team on the other girl. The drink and date are similar. Sometimes I will try and get the girls to kiss each other at the bar. At the private space, sometimes I will have the girls take turns spanking each other. The overall process is similar, except I will sometimes f**k one girl while she goes down on another. This is fun but not a good way to let the girls orgasm, because most women need very specific rhythms for an extended period of time, so most often there will be periods of one on one with the third party assisting or watching.

A lot of attractive women are overwhelmed by FFM offers. FFM offers from couples are common and readily achievable. If a single woman has an online profile that mentions openness to FFM, she’ll be overwhelmed by salivating guys eager to live out that fantasy. MFM is uncommon. Women who desire this find it difficult to seek out suitable guys. A man who can make this happen sets himself apart.

More rarely, it is possible to meet a girl and right away she confesses or you elicit her MFM fantasy. If she is a sex maniac met off an app or through similar means… I like having the threesome ready to go, with my friend John or other guys like him. If you get into non-monogamy, you may “borrow” a guy from a couple… which can be a turn-on for the guy’s girl, because she knows other women want to f**k him.

In date terms, sex maniacs are different than normal girls and the risk of NOT f**king her is greater than the risk of f**king her. With normal girls, there is a risk of “overcooking” her and then setting off her anti-slut defense (ASD), which players know about. With a girl who is heavily into being sex-positive, non-monogamy, BDSM, etc., there is a risk that she has an overfilled schedule and really wants to get f**ked, so if you don’t f**k her, she will be unsatisfied and go home and start texting whoever else she has available for sex. If she’s good looking she’ll find someone.

Most threesomes, like most sex, happens because guys make it happen. If you have known any true lesbians, look at how their relationships happen, if at all. With endless chit-chat, questioning, slow movement, fear, timidity, etc. Guys need to make shit happen, in most cases, and women want and like it that way.

MFM has one other subtle, but important point that I have never read or heard explicitly stated: it can be a tool for keeping the girl at an emotional/relationship distance. “What?” you say, “Don’t you WANT the girl to be in your orbit and frame?” Well, maybe. Guys who have never had a girl invest in them will be obsessed with getting quality girl investment for the first time. Guys can have a different problem, though…. the girl invests and wants a relationship. Guy says no. Girl leaves. If you listen to chicks, they complain about “fuck boys” (happened to me a couple months ago)  guys who are “just players,” guys who are “assholes who break my heart,” etc. We all know this talk is mostly sexual market value mismatch. She is pursuing guys +1 or more above her… when there are plenty of guys at or below her level who would be THRILLED to commit to her. She doesn’t perceive this way however. If she consistently has sex with one guy… she will probably end up in love with him and wanting a relationship. A player who wants to f**k many women will have to negotiate this problem, or pattern, many times. MFM may keep her from rapidly pursuing a conventional relationship,

If she’s f**king other guys… even with you… she may stay at that emotional remove. She may not bond with you the way she might if she is orgasming only from being railed by you. If you don’t want that…. this could keep her at bay. Paradoxically, it can also make her closer to you by making you the one guy who can fulfill her fantasies. You’re extending the range of possibility with semi-regular MFM. Which way it goes… depends on her, and on you.

Subconsciously most men want to monopolize women because letting another cock near her creates paternity uncertainty. In a world without birth control that’s a decent way to make her try to finger you as the daddy when you might not be. Our psychologies remain in the stone age even as we know that she’s coiled up with an IUD and crotch fruit is unlikely. Most of us are controlled but our subconscious impulses far more than we want to admit. This is also why tribal politics are so dumb most of the time… most people want to see their team win. The same right-leaning people who are rooting for a shameless grifter would be howling with outrage at a left-leaning politician doing one-tenth of the same shit. Tomorrow it will all be reversed.

I get away from the point… writing all this out has been interesting. Have I become group-sex Jesus? I have been hearing from guys who have read my work and are trying out the techniques. I am encouraging some to write field reports and a couple are said to be in progress. If (when?) they come in, I will post the results, good or bad.

It’s easy for threesomes to fall apart for all kinds of reasons, but making this kind of special experience happen for a woman who has wanted to do it, but in a safe and controlled setting, can be powerful.

I don’t think many threesomes happen when a guy meets two new women who already know each other. In an FMF threesome, the girls are the limited factor and the guy is the common factor. Two girls who already know each other don’t need a guy to get them to hookup. If they do, almost any guy will be fine. These kinds of threesomes seem to happen most often when a guy and a girl consciously (or unconsciously, when drunks) decide to seek or seduce a third girl.

Clearly it’s possible to do a threesome with two girls who already know each other, but I don’t think that pattern is as common as other patterns.

This is going to become a chapter in the free book. If you’ve gotten this far, you should download it and give it a read. 

Put on a show for the lads, why don’t you? by dirty old man Gareth1953

Author: The Red Quest

How can we live and be in society?

5 thoughts on “Threesome management. How to do and arrange FFM and MFM”

  1. I wonder if I’ll ever be able to do this (both FMF and MFM, but specifically MFM) without feeling insecure and/or threatened, at least to a degree where I’m able to control myself and don’t let it get into my head too much. I do want to coz my curiosity is too strong, but I don’t want to fuck that up for myself and other people involved.

    Like

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